Let it go

suncolor · 2020-09-15T14:40:00+00:00

This is truth. Sometimes I caught up in remembering pleasant conversation, a better time, but it is quickly followed by: But remember all of the gaslighting and disrespect? The “jokes” and “playing devil’s advocate”? Or all of those times he said “you’re always offended by something and trying to start an argument” “it’s your fault we’re having an argument” “i feel like i have to defend myself because you’re always accusing me of being racist/sexist” UGH. Frankly, the fact he couldn’t see he was racist was actually worse than anything else.

Yeah, he can stay gone.

figureskaterforlife · 2020-09-15T14:33:38+00:00

So true! And it doesn't only apply to past relationships but to toxic friendships aswell.

manisfestationqueen · 2020-09-15T15:39:17+00:00

True! I was thinking of hitting up my ex. Then I remembered that for 3 years he didn't get me a birthday present, yet I drove 6 hours to take him to cheesecake factory on his birthday. Yikes

BasieSkanks · 2020-09-15T18:04:02+00:00

most of the time.... there was NO bond to speak of, only our projection of what we hoped the relationship/shituationship was. it's important to analyze the situation from a 3rd person POV, using just the facts.

oh_beach_please · 2020-09-15T16:35:32+00:00

I sat myself down and wrote all the things he did that hurt me, the cheating, the lies, the disrespect, laziness, greed, selfishness, withdrawing of affection. It hurt at the start but then by the end it was a huge relief to see in black and white all the pain I was walking away from. I don't ruminate on it, but it's there should my mind ever think "bUt mUh SiTuAtiOnsHiIiIiiP"

thirdtoebean · 2020-09-15T16:52:40+00:00

I miss the good times too. Then I remember the time he got me a Pokémon pin badge for my 33rd birthday.

Villanelloh · 2020-09-15T16:54:19+00:00

A weight lifted from my shoulders the moment I went nc. I imagine it's how an innocent person feels when they're let out of prison after being wrongfully found guilty. WIhen I caught myself feeling bad I realised missed the potential of the relationship, not the reality.

michelle27519 · 2020-09-15T18:21:05+00:00

[deleted]

Rough-Tree · 2020-09-15T17:18:18+00:00

It's so hard to forgive yourself and too easy to forgive other people.

sewingmachinesavior · 2020-09-15T20:18:07+00:00

That bond you feel is SO often a TRAUMA BOND. So I tell myself I’m having a trauma response, and work to move into a healthier headspace.

mscristalconnors · 2020-09-15T17:51:54+00:00

Legit. I miss his dumb ass big ears..but we aren’t doing that anymore 😂

2020-09-16T00:16:15+00:00

Nah sis, he wus just cute and f*ckable but best believe he didN't respectchu.

purpletranquility · 2020-09-15T16:22:48+00:00

I needed this

yourscreennamesucks · 2020-09-15T18:57:18+00:00

So true. When I find myself feeling wistful I start reminding myself of all the drunken fights and it all goes away.

lnbrrnt · 2020-09-17T02:24:25+00:00

I needed to be reminded of this. Thank you.

_lordmicrowave · 2020-09-15T16:06:53+00:00

More like a trauma bond. 3 years of dealing with the most self-centred being I've ever come across. Glad I opened my eyes and dropped that fool. Everytime I feel like reminiscing I can feel the memories slowly fade. It is truly freeing

dblrainbow21 · 2020-09-18T13:07:17+00:00

Thank you!

Title	Let it go
Author	greatnesdbyamu
Upvotes	1150
Comments	43
Date	September 15, 2020 2:19 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/it9ofo/let_it_go/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/let-it-go.213532 https://theredarchive.com/post/213532

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