Men are "visual creatures"...but also blind?

ManchurianCantaloupe · 2020-01-16T20:16:53+00:00

men act as if they were "ugly duckling to swan" cases.

lol so true. I thought I was one of these. I was always a little bit of a tomboy. I'd wear hoodies and jeans all the time. Up until recently, I was convinced I had been an awkward, gawkish little monster until late into high school. The adults and girls I knew growing up had always said I was beautiful. Like my whole life. But I was mocked so relentlessly by the boys in middle school for my appearance I thought I was hideous and everyone else was just lying to make me feel better.

I went back and looked at my old school photos recently and for the first time, it hit me. I was always beautiful. It was only when I started dressing a bit more feminine and wearing makeup that boys started to notice. I literally got asked to prom by the varsity quarterback. All it took was some fucking eyeliner. It was straight out of Not Another Teen Movie.

MagicAte_8 · 2020-01-17T00:22:34+00:00

My theory is most men only see sexual availability signals and that distracts them from actual beauty

DING, DING, DING! You hit the nail on the head!

This is why even ""straight"" men will become aroused at the sight of a drag queen or transsexual.

Men think: Makeup + skimpy clothing + long hair = hole I can fuck

hoIds_up_spork · 2020-01-16T20:01:43+00:00

I noticed this when I went from auburn/brunette hair back to blonde. I'd been dyeing my hair brown since I was 14 but I recently decided to go back to my natural colour because I didn't want to keep dyeing my hair. I still got attention before, but long blonde hair is SUCH a halo. I don't even know why I was so shocked but men have literally run to me to help if I looked lost or confused. Back when I was a brunette, men would be so confused when I told them I dyed my hair. I had one ex legitimately be shocked that I'd give up blonde when so many people saw it as the ideal. I had another guy literally beg me to go back to blonde for the sake of his dick. Women treat me the same, but men are so much nicer/more solicitous to me now. I feel like for most men, being blonde, hourglass shaped, and white/white passing/light skin is an automatic boost in sexual attractiveness, as sad as that may be.

jewdy09 · 2020-01-16T20:02:47+00:00

The makeup thing annoys me to no end. Yes, I look better with makeup, but I’m still recognizable without it. (Your Superman/Clark Kent analogy is beautiful.)

Sure, it’s possible to make drastic changes with makeup, but most women have neither the time nor the skill.

hoIds_up_spork · 2020-01-16T19:57:21+00:00

[deleted]

jewdy09 · 2020-01-16T21:42:55+00:00

The really annoying part is that men want you to get all dolled up when you go out with them because it reflects on them to be seen with a well put-together woman. Hair extensions can increase your beauty significantly. Fake lashes/extensions look amazing. Hiding a blemish or some discoloration and your dark circles pays dividends. These things all take a lot of time and money and we go to all the effort to maintain this routine because we love the way we look afterwards just as much as men.

I hate when men think a woman is wearing ‘too much makeup’ just because she chose to do a colorful eye look. It makes me shy away from trying different eye looks using color or glitter even though I’m wearing exactly the same amount of makeup as when I do a neutral eye look.

abicus4343 · 2020-01-16T22:30:09+00:00

Men only notice sexual cues.

Winter_Inevitable · 2020-01-16T21:44:46+00:00

Yes, they are visually dumb. It's exactly as you stated. That's why I only take it as a compliment when a woman says I am attractive. They see things like nice skin, beautiful hair, bone structure. Men see a sex doll.

Whateverrr_345 · 2020-01-16T20:14:52+00:00

Surprisingly, it's other women that complain the most about makeup.

The only differences I've noticed (as in change of attention) is blonde hair is waaay more attention calling than just brunette hair. I had blonde highlights and people noticed me more.

And I went from a curvy (but 10, 15 pounds overweight but still had a nice body shape with a large chest) I've noticed men really fetishized me and desired me sexually. My chest/body really drew a lot of attention, some good and some bad. People told me I looked older than my age.

But when I lost that and became a normal bmi/officially skinny, I was getting asked out on dates more rather than sex. And not as sexually desired. And the attention was normalized, I didn't get any sexualized comments anymore. And now people tell me I look younger than my age by a lot.

Currently, I'm trying to hit middle ground by putting on more muscle in the right areas. So that's different and I'm waiting until the summer when I hit my goal to see how people respond.

And men...some like makeup and some don't. I wear makeup and idgaf what they think. I don't put cake face on but I def do take my time to make it look nice.

4herlight · 2020-01-17T00:42:15+00:00

Anton LaVey (I do take his writings with a grain of salt, but it’s interesting to think about) said that most men are typically sexually attracted to a higher level of nakedness (more skin showing) and stereotypical femininity (feminine clothing, glamour, long hair, etc). So those could be the factors that are getting those results. They’re really quite simple and even stupid sometimes.

LadyHormoneMonster · 2020-01-16T21:41:22+00:00

This is going to be a weird analogy, but bear with me. Note: There are a lot of fishing references in here, but just keep the following in mind.

Lures= Characteristics/Traits

Customized Lures= Tailored for Target

Movement= Confidence/Presence

Men are visual creatures, but think of them as fish. To them, women are “lures” that come in all different shapes, sizes, colors, and tastes. The lure that’s “perfect” for one fish, won’t appeal to another. In fact, even “customized lures” for specific fish doesn’t guarantee desire.

What attracts fish the most is movement. Fish can be surrounded by similar lures, but if a unique style of movement catches their eye they’re fixated on the hunt for THAT lure. No matter how difficult the chase, they won’t stop until they get the bite. Even if they get a hook in the gills for trying 🤣

How does “movement” translate to women in real life? It’s the way you walk into a room, the rhythm in your dancing, and generally the energy you give off.

This may seem like a silly comparison, but it’s extremely important to HVM and even PUA to help them gauge IOI/Kino (if you’re not familiar, it’s worth independently researching)

CuriousCatNYC777 · 2020-01-16T23:00:54+00:00

This is directly linked to post-nut clarity.

scaredscaredgoaway · 2020-01-17T05:03:49+00:00

I have sorta the opposite problem.

While the way I style my hair, do my eyebrows, and my makeup has improved since high school...I've always been into girly stuff. Seldom get anything but the dregs of humanity hitting on me (though I suspect at least some of this has to do with racism and a lot of men still viewing Latinas as "exotic" types to "Fuck, not marry" because that's probably what their dad's told them, etc).

ANYWAYS... I'm surprised at how dudes sometimes react when I'm not looking like my best self. I hate my nose and teeth, etc, but I once had an attached guy kiss me---completely sober---when I was literally wearing another man's (his friend's!) high school marching band T-shirt, baggy pajama pants, no bra, and very little makeup.

I just recently was talking relationships with a very polite male friend who had never openly hit on me and, as if to prove my point, got a weird look on his face when I was describing that boring PJ outfit and quietly said, "That's really hot". Btw, I was sitting in front of him in a pink shimmery mini dress worn by Emily Van Camp on "Revenge", pink lip gloss, curled hair, the works, and he said nothing about THAT outfit.

I've also had guys fetishize it when I wear my glasses, and once when I ran into an ex after a breakup wearing hardly any makeup, unwashed scraggly hair, ill-fitting boot cut jeans from high school, and a T-shirt from J. C. Penney's, he told me I looked "delicious".

This isn't some humble-brag post. I've gone out a lot wearing clothes that make ME feel pretty (heels, dresses, push-up bras, earrings, the whole enchilada, plus lipstick and all) and gotten nothing, while my sullen white friend in simple clothing sits in a corner complaining while 3 men including the DJ buy her drinks.

This is to say that, A) Men always want the opposite and few appreciate what they see, and B) I will never decode their preferences.

Is this just a Midwest thing? I get called bitchy, vain, or "intimidating" because I like dresses.

woiashenseea · 2020-01-18T15:27:13+00:00

They're (subconsciously) looking for markers of conformity to gender norms, which show that she will probably also conform to the gender role of Pickme Doormat BJMachine

kikii07 · 2020-05-29T05:25:18+00:00

PS 3: Exhibit A: It's cognitive confusion from what you wrote initially. You said that men don't care for actual facial beauty and are only stimulated by porn to ignore actual details

Exhibit B: There are femcels, but you are sure they aren't as unattractive. Yes unattractive and let me specify it, facially unattractive women exist. However I respect myself not to be used by LVM. I am at a level where I am trying to accept my reality. Some women can eventually be able to bulge out of this situation.

Title	Men are "visual creatures"...but also blind?
Author	GrungeAudrey
Upvotes	135
Comments	50
Date	January 16, 2020 7:32 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/epo8zi/men_are_visual_creaturesbut_also_blind/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/men-are-visual-creaturesbut-also-blind.694549 https://theredarchive.com/post/694549

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