Quick question about cancelling dates

Summerisle7 · 2020-08-02T17:58:48+00:00

Cancelling the first date is a huge red flag. Especially since he didn’t immediately suggest a new date. I would probably block, he doesn’t sound in control of his schedule and people like that are a nightmare to try to date. He’s not available for a relationship.

Edit: and that’s assuming he’s even telling the truth about his job or why he’s cancelling.

MakeURegret · 2020-08-02T18:06:05+00:00

Fyi polls can be answered by anyone. Including the nvm that lurk here. So probably best to read the comments and disregard what the poll says.

What does your gut say?

Other rhetorical questions to consider:

If he knows he occasionally has to pull overtime during the week why didn’t he schedule the date for the weekend?

Also, how does he handle other commitments during the week if he just randomly has to work overtime?

If he had a chance with beyonce do you think he would’ve canceled on their first date? Guys don’t cancel on their dream girls.

Phoenix__Rising2018 · 2020-08-02T18:41:26+00:00

I would assume he's lying and got a better date offer from another woman he wants more.

Also if his work is that unpredictable then he should have made the date for the weekend. What some LVN will do is keep their schedule open on the weekend so they can go out to clubs and find random women to fuck. So if a guy will only see you after work on week nights that's a big red flag.

yaaasss123 · 2020-08-02T18:13:58+00:00

First of all

whether you should also block a man if he cancels on the same day of date because of work reasons ?

indicates that you trust what he says. Do Not.

ohlizard · 2020-08-02T18:38:50+00:00

I think the key point is he didn't offer an alternative date. I would move on.

curlygirl507 · 2020-08-02T21:07:00+00:00

One million percent BLOCK.

You're already making excuses for him and you haven't even met him yet. That means you are too naive to be dating right now. To men on dating apps, you're easy prey.

Read the handbook. Hang out on this sub. Assume that all men on dating apps are either sociopaths, abusive, or, at best, fuckboys who will use you for sex, but at least won't hit or manipulate you or try to ruin your life. Let me repeat...that last option is the best case scenario you could expect from online dating.

nyan_birb · 2020-08-02T18:01:29+00:00

When did he know he couldn't make it to the date? How long after he found out did he tell you? That would tell me more about whether or not he respects your time.

wonkyeyes8877 · 2020-08-02T18:54:42+00:00

I really don't know. I might be a work thing, it might not. I don't like the fact that he didn't call you to apologize and reschedule. Huge red flag. Don't reply to him. Wait to see if he puts in the effort to actually plan something else that also includes making up for this. That will be his second and final chance to take you out.

dzgata · 2020-08-02T21:05:04+00:00

He didn’t give you an explicit reason. And he didn’t set up an alternative. Block.

I only give a pass if something dramatic happens. (Eg. car accident, illness, death of loved one) but it has to be realistic and he must profusely apologize and ask me if I’d be so kind as to accept a later date. If he’s even slightly nonchalant about canceling that means he’s playing you like a fiddle and doesn’t really care that much if your opinion of him sours bc of the cancellation. Men who want you will be afraid of disappointing and hurting you.

socalqueenofcheese · 2020-08-02T21:34:39+00:00

In this case I've just said, "I understand" and see where he takes it from there. He will likely ghost...just fyi

Summerisle7 · 2020-08-02T18:51:27+00:00

My intuition would tell me to block. But as a person with a lot of random businesses and things coming up...I would at least reschedule. Edit: he didn't reschedule so you definitely should block him. It shows that he doesn't care enough

painmakesyoustronger · 2020-08-03T02:22:26+00:00

If they cancel once for work, they’ll do it again. And again. And it’s probably not work. Work is the go to excuse. It’s how they handle “double booking” dates.

Don’t give him a chance to continually let you down, and feel anxiety before every date because you’re not sure if he’ll even show up. Don’t let him cancel last minute on you on Halloween after you told all your friends your plans. Don’t be like old me.

Block after the first cancellation.

I’ve dated guys that basically never cancel. They make plans and keep them. They exist. Don’t settle for less.

applestorm · 2020-08-02T17:57:46+00:00

I'd say wait a week to see if he offers you a new date and if not block.

Allaboutb1 · 2020-08-03T03:20:20+00:00

Yeah I wouldn’t give him the benefit of the doubt. Every time I’ve given a second chance it ended up just being a case of waiting for the next red flag to block them.

MalloryDame · 2020-08-02T18:02:58+00:00

I don't know whether it's gentlemanly of him to leave the date up to you (from what I can tell) or if it's just a way to try and wiggle himself out of the date. Circumstances do happen so personally I wouldn't ditch him just yet... He did let you know 4h beforehand and told you about work getting unpredictable sometimes so he's not inconsiderate. I'll leave this one for more experienced members to offer advice but I'm sorry he cancelled on you, all the same.

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Quick question about cancelling dates

EDIT 2: BLOCKED.

In conclusion, cancelling for work is still not a good enough reason to cancel - especially if they don't immediately reschedule.

It shows they are not in control of their schedule and would be a nightmare to date.

Work becomes the go-to excuse.

Don’t give him a chance to continually let you down, and feel anxiety before every date because you’re not sure if he’ll even show up.

Comments

Title	Quick question about cancelling dates
Author	ItsYesMaam2u
Upvotes	17
Comments	49
Date	August 2, 2020 11:46 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/i2as9q/quick_question_about_cancelling_dates/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/quick-question-about-cancelling-dates.720491 https://theredarchive.com/post/720491