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painmakesyoustronger Archive

View 14 posts and 533 comments by painmakesyoustronger on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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3

Or date in general. As someone that has dated many guys IRL, they’re often worse because you give them the benefit of the doubt due to sharing a real life connection.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/10/20 02:29 PM
6

I work with my ex. Sit right next to him. He lovebombed me and broke my heart into pieces, so I made it my mission to make him feel insignificant for the past year and a half. He is wildly jealous whenever I date someone new (this includes blowing up at me in front of every one), sends me emails, work chats and calendar invitations to dates, since I have him blocked. He tries to get my attention in every way possible. Puppy dog eyes, flirting with others right in front of me, sending me songs, a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 03:09 PM
1

Where are these men talking badly about your appearance? I ask because I do not use social media or online dating. I see no need for it, but if you’re being mistreated on these platforms I’d suggest you ditch them too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 01:02 PM
17

Learned this the hard way. After all the wickedness I’ve been on the receiving end of, at the ripe age of 32 I finally believe it. I’ve been set free from the fantasy. It’s MUCH better this way. Naïveté is bad for your health.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 12:42 AM
3

I haven’t dated since I dumped my last LVM the moment we returned from our road trip on New Year’s Day. It has been 8 months of pure bliss. Men have been the source of my pain. I’ve been abused, raped, stolen from, lied to, used, humiliated, etc, and now there is just peace and joy where there used to be sadness and anguish.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 11:11 PM
53

I am financially independent (and thriving if I must say), and every time a woman hears that I am divorced, she assumes I get alimony, and starts talking about the merits of alimony. Girl, I made more than my husband ever did. I didn’t want nor ask for a single thing from him, and he wouldn’t have had it to give. I even mailed his broke ass back the ring he borrowed from his mom. It feels so good to be financially secure. Not ONLY do I pay my own way in life, but I save so that if I ever lose my…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 02:10 PM
12

I love this
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/20 02:57 PM
3

Turn off all kinds of messaging. It’s amazing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 09:03 PM
2

I love this post and I love all the comments and I move this sub. Long Live FDS!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 08:58 PM
7

Not having sex is a life changer. I’m not even open to heavy petting or French kissing anymore. Treat me like a gentleman or get gone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 02:32 AM
4

You’ll feel better in your 30s. Life experience, few to zero fucks to give, knowing who you are and what you want, having your priorities in order, much better self confidence and financial security. I laugh at the concept of looking hot and youthful for dudes. Hopefully one day you will too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 02:58 PM
23

Agreed. Better safe than sorry.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 02:48 PM
1

I don’t think men have it better, because they need us in a way we just don’t need them. I used to wish I could change them. Now I see them as handicapped and I am no longer ADA compliant.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 02:53 PM
1

My ex feels personally attacked by that last sentence.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 02:49 PM
10

I was a virgin at 20 and married the first guy I slept with. Whatever you do, don’t do that (unless he is HVM). Date at least 10 guys, continue to honor your body, grow as a person and learn what is actually out there and don’t let sex cloud your thinking! It took me lots of casual sex (post divorce) to learn not to give it up. I wanted love and affection. I’ve found that it all dries up once they get what they want. Wait for the right guy at the right time. A quality man that doesn’t give you a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 02:46 PM
10

Hey I wrote that! What a compliment 🥰
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 02:39 PM
4

Online dating is harmful to the mental health of women. This is yet another example. You are not a person to them, you are a commodity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 02:37 PM
14

I hope he doesn’t let her move in and she ends up somewhere with REAL support, such as living with family, where she will receive help with childcare and cooking. If she moves in with him, she will be taking care of a child, cooking and cleaning up after him and probably helping pay his bills. And he’ll be trying to have sex a week or two post giving birth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 09:09 PM
11

32 as well. Divorced at 27. No desire to remarry. Why get financially in bed with someone so that they can ruin you? Also, just watched S1 of Doctor Foster on Netflix, which perfectly illustrates how this happens, and I highly recommend.... I’ve been through so much trauma with men post divorce (divorce was unwanted on my end, but it turned out to be a great thing), that I stopped dating this year and my health skyrocketed. They just aren’t worth it. At all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 02:43 PM
6

It’s all about his wants and needs. Your desire to move on is not something he has any regard for. This is not respect (as you know)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 02:36 PM
129

I’m so glad I gave up dating. It’s a mine field of abusers, porn addicts, video game addicts, slobs, alcoholics, cheaters and broke bois. I’m glad porn addiction has real consequences for them. I’ve encountered two guys that can’t maintain an erection and they both were OBSESSED with dominating me in vile ways.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 02:26 PM
-1

Just get off dating apps. Stop wasting your life looking for love in all the wrong places. Look for it within first.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 01:52 AM
9

OLD = drug addiction. It consistently makes you feel bad and meet trash men, but it gives you a hit of dopamine from the possibility of a brick of gold in a sewer of shit, so you keep swiping. Break the addiction.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 01:09 AM
42

My philosophy for avoiding OLD: Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. Why would any woman want that bullshit in their lives?!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 02:37 PM
4

Am I the only person that thinks contouring was not originally intended for people born female? It makes you look like a man trying to look like a woman. It’s wayyyyy too much effort to look like somebody else. It’s really sad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 01:52 PM
3

It is just another hand tailored bullshit excuse for male lack. Women are visual too but we are the invisible gender, so instead of humans are visual creatures, it’s men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 01:47 PM
9

Can confirm. I stay away from men now. I’m fucking glowing from the inside out. My life is blessed in countless ways. No more sleepless nights. Not more pillowy eyelids. No more stress and anxiety. No more sadness and anger. I’ve had enough dick to last me a lifetime. I’ll just play with my money now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 01:42 PM
2

All correct. Pretend all your exes were great. Make them a little insecure about it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 01:38 PM
4

As if they had empathy. They are predators. It was planned.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 01:35 PM
46

Me too. You couldn’t pay me to go back to my teens or 20s when I had no self love. Couldn’t. Pay me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 02:50 PM
16

Rihanna’s disgusted expression looking at Chris Brown epitomizes this feeling
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 02:47 PM
41

Abstinence simply means not having sex. You are projecting a lot of preconceived notions onto her with this bizarre comment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 12:02 AM
21

A single family home in a safe neighborhood. I want to be a homeowner without anyone else‘a help. Cost of living here is through the roof, so it’s a big goal, but I’m working toward it at a nice clip.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 11:54 PM
37

I having been living voluntary abstinence, modesty and not dating all of 2020 and my life has been filled with blessings and level ups. I’m gonna keep doing what I’m doing (or shall I say not doing) and see what else I can accomplish! Buying my own house is next on the list.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 11:45 PM
6

Haha I sure did. Oops
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 08:29 PM
59

That’s why we have the term LVM (or NVM). They are completely their own breed of male and I do not care to analyze their shortcomings and astounding sense of entitlement. (Although I certainly used to) There are HVM out there. I see them in my family and at work and on podcasts. Put blinders on for the LVM. Identify and eliminate. Make them invisible like they deserve to be. They don’t deserve any attention, sex, nudes or dates. Don’t think about them, wonder why or how they can behave the way t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 08:15 PM
11

Am I the only one that is glad they want the young ones and that I’m almost off the hook? At 32, my 40s is looking pretty nice. I’ll have a house of my own, a well established career, a solid identity and uncompromising boundaries and standards. These creeps love younger women not only because they’re hot, but they’re malleable and don’t yet know their worth and what not to put up with. Age me out, bro. I’ll be just fine with my health and wealth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 08:08 PM
80

Love bombing. Wanting to see you multiple times a week like his life depends on it. Wanting to text you 24/7 Or talk on the phone for 5 hours per night. Talking about the future (getting married, moving in together) one or two weeks in. The dudes that did this were classic narcissists. Love bomb, devalue, discard. Don’t be flattered. It’s a trap.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 07:59 PM
3

It’s like reconciling your accounts. Do it regularly while dating someone. And don’t stop once you get married. I would definitely ask if he ever dares put the moves on me (passionate kissing, fondling, attempt at sex). They think they’re slick, emotionally coercing their way into bed with us. Uh uh. And don’t give him the answer just see what he says.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 02:22 PM
2

Real Estate Express :) Thanks!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 12:17 PM
7

Yes, online. I would have had it a lot sooner, but covid shut down testing for several months. I would encourage you to try again! Push through the coursework, just battle through it and then take a crash course the weekend before your test. You will pass if you take it. It actually inspired me to go back to school next year for my BS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 04:14 AM
14

LVM are everywhere (mostly all of my dating has been IRL), however OLD is work that you needn’t be diverting precious time, emotions and energy toward, since men will come at you IRL with more effort and not have the audacity to say one tenth of the things the a scrotes hiding behind a screen on OLD do. Besides, when they approach IRL, the ball is always in your court because they don’t know you’re looking for anything. When they know you’re on OLD looking for love, they already have some insigh…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 04:09 AM
71

The best part is that I don’t even care what they think because their opinions don’t matter and they aren’t able to abuse us in this heaven of a female safe space. I am here because I wasn’t selective enough and needed to curb my enthusiasm before my luck ran out. I’ve finally learned I don’t need or want validation from sex or male attention anymore. It’s never served me, and I now validate myself. They’re just pissed that this movement will catch on. Hint to the lurkers: it is and it will.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 04:01 AM
20

Dang you got my hopes up 😂👏🏻 Such a great book. It’s on my dresser now to as a constant reminder, were I to date again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 03:14 AM
19

Ugh reminds me of the one and only guy I dated from OLD. First date he asks me “Why are you so CoNFiDeNt?” He was a Tesla model S driving douchebag that couldn’t comprehend confidence not based on material possessions and wealth. He turned out to be one of the most abusive people I’ve ever dated. Sexually, emotionally, mentally. Constantly ridiculed my physical imperfections to the point that I would cry every tome I saw him. Should have ditched him after the first date.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 02:52 AM
2

Thanks for this!! Just checked it out. You can even search your phone’s current location (in addition to by name or by address)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 12:03 AM
80

Just some examples of ways men step up when they feel compelled: Courting you consistently with quality dates, not pressuring you to have sex soon, committing to you, introducing you to family and friends, taking you on vacations, gifting you with jewelry, proposing, marriage, buying a home.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 04:25 PM
3

Give him some imaginary promise sex
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 02:51 PM
3

Feminism has always been counter culture. Do not confuse it with woke / liberal feminism, which is accepted because it is the controlled opposition of the patriarchy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 02:47 PM
102

“What do you offer me?” is EVERYTHING. Say this to yourself in the mirror. Say it while you’re driving to a date. Say it out loud to him. What 👏🏻 do 👏🏻 YOU 👏🏻 offer 👏🏻 ME 👏🏻?! They have tried to shame us into having ZERO expectations of their worthless asses by inventing terms such as “Gold digger” (demanding he brings value to the table up front, consistently) “Needy” (demanding commitment) “Prude” (do not give it up until he’s proven himself to be the real deal) Etc Make sure you are ruffling …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 02:38 PM
11

Every time. It’s like they expect a prize for acknowledging how selfish they are, like the self awareness is a of any consolation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 12:12 AM
14

Congratulations! Welcome to the club. It’s like discovering the secret potion to happiness and eternal youth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 08:46 PM
141

Men are a charity I refuse to support anymore. They bite the hand that feeds. I’ll just keep all of this to myself, thanks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 08:44 PM
24

Don’t forget abuse, kill, sexually coerce, assault and rape
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 05:11 PM
4

Yes queen!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 02:35 PM
26

That is why I have an email for guys that want my number. Email me a nice long letter, because I won’t be checking it nearly enough for any marathon text sessions. Texting is dead to me. I’m bored by it. I don’t like being bothered at random intervals. I don’t desire to be on call like that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 03:40 AM
5

Never fall for the try before you buy bs! A man that is serious about you would never insult you in such a way. Good riddance! I’ve fallen for it before. It was a good lesson. I’ll never fall for it again!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 03:37 AM
2

They WANT it but they will not offer it in return. Go figure.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 03:06 PM
12

They come up with all sorts of labels to keep us in line. Clingy Crazy Prude Slut Gold digger Tease Bitch Playing games I’ll do whatever I damn well want. And I’ll keep my cards close to my chest, because I’ve learned the hard way, time and time again. If life is going to be chess, I’m going to be queen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 02:56 PM
13

Brainwashing by pop stars, music, tv, movies, magazines, etc + Underutilized, underdeveloped critical thinking skills
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 04:59 AM
15

No. They are asserting dominance. So call them sweetheart right back. They won’t like it because it takes their imaginary power over you away.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 04:54 AM
56

I love this, but don’t they just swipe right on everyone anyway without reading the profile? They find a way to ruin everything. 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 12:44 PM
2

As if you desire to meet his standards 🙄 Ladies, you are not on audition. You’re not interviewing for the job of his girlfriend. HE is auditioning for YOU.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 10:35 PM
5

Sigh
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 09:28 PM
3

It’s all good
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 09:18 PM
3

I’m referring to the second slide. I agree with the first one!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 07:36 PM
34

He’s broke.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 03:11 PM
55

I disagree with the second one. That’s the kind of dangerous thinking that gets you in trouble, thinking they mean no harm and that it’s just their special way of loving us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 03:04 PM
7

👏🏻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 03:00 PM
16

The Handmaiden by Park Chan Wook
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 04:02 AM
18

What the hell?! I don’t even know what to say
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 03:38 AM
8

I have raised white scars on my arms and back from skin picking years ago as a way to cope with trauma. I have made peace with them, but one guy I dated (the one and only time I tried OLD) would bully me about it every time I was with him, and even asked me if I had HIV several times. He said “we need to go to the doctor together and let me do the talking”. And when I would cry and get upset, he would act surprised and say he was just trying to “help” me. Mind you, no man I have ever dated has s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 03:29 AM
26

I fucking hate it when guys I barely know call me sweet like it’s a compliment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/20 11:52 PM
9

The Barnes and Noble Classics version of Tao Te Ching is one of my favorite books.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/20 02:12 PM
4

I think part of healing from and avoiding future narcs is understanding their modus operandi, so I am inclined to say yes. But I also think that the sooner you move on from them and stop thinking about them, the better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 09:58 PM
-1

While I seems I touched a nerve with this discourse, we do agree on that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 07:24 PM
-1

It’s a cute promise to make, but it seems a little sophomoric. It’s setting yourself up to be lied to. If they were to get married and be together for fifty years, you think she herself will not masturbate to anyone else? A more pertinent boundary would be to not date men that have masturbation issues or triangulate her with another woman in any way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 06:55 PM
3

I’ve never in my entire life encountered a boyfriend or my ex husband masturbating, so this isn’t really an issue I can relate to. I wouldn’t be keen on dating someone that had a problem with masturbation, as it would speak to an even broader range of underlying issues. My point was that it is natural to think of others from time to time, whether it is you or your partner.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 06:20 PM
5

I guess I’m lucky to have never had to police a partner’s masturbation. The need to police it would be enough for me to lose interest.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 05:59 PM
2

Suit yourself!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 05:20 PM
13

It’s this. Keep your emotional cards close to your chest. The wrong one shouldn’t be given a playbook on how to manipulate you, and the right one will open up of his own volition and demonstrate his high value. Don’t sleep with them for a few months either. They will pretend open up, sleep with you, then close up like a clam, because it was all an act.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 02:56 PM
18

Read the handbook to refresh in your mind how to proceed. Don’t afford him any “we’re old friends” or “I know he’s HVM therefore it’s okay” shortcuts. Don’t sleep with him. You’re vulnerable right now, fresh off a breakup. Let him court you like any other man would be expected to, and see where it goes! Not sleeping with them = no mess and complication
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 02:49 PM
1

He sounds nice but... You say in one sentence “you’re talking to a new guy” and in another that you’re having sex. Vet for a few months before sex to avoid being left holding the bag if the tide of their affection suddenly changes. Feeling like a guy is too good to be true is because he usually is. Also, I wouldn’t classify masturbation to other people as cheating. That seems a little unrealistic. But that’s just me. As a woman, it’s something I don’t wish to feel guilty about. Life is long and …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 02:43 PM
31

Instead of posting on petty revenge, how about divorcing him? Suit yourself, lady. If these women knew their husbands’ disrespect extended past treating them like a bangmaid into the territory of infidelity (a most natural progression for LVM), she probably wouldn’t feel so generous with her love.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 02:35 PM
5

That is my favorite of the two. It essentially tells you how to flip each tactic of theirs on its head in an enlightened way to empower yourself (in addition to a fascinating characterization of Narcissism and its related behaviors). Enjoy!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 02:26 PM
80

I’m 100% using past participle third person narration next time someone tests my boundaries via text.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 02:25 PM
14

The thought of all of my exes at an intimate cocktail party together, BULLSHITTING EACHOTHER makes me laugh. I always knew they were lying when they told tall tales to impress me, but didn’t want to be indecent and call them out. Now I know being indecent is a survival skill!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 02:22 PM
6

What is the overall vibe of the sub? I’m not too lazy to do the research, just want an insider’s perspective.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 02:19 PM
20

Shahida Arabi’s brilliant. I have read a couple of her books (Becoming the Narcissist’s Nightmare and Power). Triangulation is always the tell of someone that is desperate to feel significant.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 01:59 PM
5

By a red Ferrari at that. In a dress. Look, lurkers. We didn’t invent paedophilia, but we sure as hell are aware of its presence in our fucked up society and will not allow you to gaslight us into thinking it’s all in our heads. Our vigilance is a product of our environment. Once you get sexualized by men while in elementary school, well before puberty, you understand there’s a market for that sort of shit. Creeps.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 04:28 AM
93

Just like Audrie (the other girl in the doc) So sad
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 02:02 AM
84

The fuck
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 01:18 AM
114

Most of the things he listed are things he can use to manipulate you with. Be careful what you tell people. Don’t be an open book unless they’ve earned your trust.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 12:18 AM
14

”must have giant nice muscular calves” Okay this is satire. I don’t care what anybody says. Even the guy himself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 11:56 PM
43

Because to them, men are human; women are subhuman
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 11:18 PM
50

Mr Nice Guy strikes again
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 10:54 PM
1

Can’t have too many toys! Enjoy .~
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 08:57 PM
24

If you go digging through the trash that is online dating, don’t be surprised to find trash. This should not even approach remote negotiation. If someone you don’t even know expects you to spend any money for THEM to court YOU (read the handbook if you don’t understand the necessity for this to be the natural order), immediately unmatch. Even men you do know need to be courting you. You are the prize. You don’t need them at all. They need you. You don’t owe them a thing. Not sex, not coffee, not…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 08:07 PM
10

Skateboarding! Can’t beat the rush. The adrenaline. The exercise. The sunshine. The exercise. The sweat. The honing of a skill.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 07:34 PM
2

I would definitely not get a one wheel or electric skateboard. They’re dangerous, because people that don’t know how to skate or fall are traveling at high speeds. And you don’t get any exercise, which means no sweat, no fit body or most importantly no natural high from exercise. All important elements to battling depression. And you never get the satisfaction of learning new skills! They’re not NEARLY as fun. Just my 2c, but there is no comparison at all. Ask them for a Carver Monsta instead! I…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 06:32 PM
29

Don’t do it. I got married to my first boyfriend at the age of 24 (we were together since I was 20). By 27, he decided I wasn’t what he wanted anymore and divorced me. There’s more to our story, he was a total LVM that refused to pay rent as a 32 year old man and had alcoholism, and I held him to a standard he couldn’t fulfill, but the point is... You need to GROW in your 20s. Not be married. You don’t need to prove you’re lovable or grown up to anyone (much less yourself) by tying yourself lega…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 05:49 PM
3

Yep. I’m 32 and I love skating. I ride a carver, but it is fantastic exercise, it’s fun, it’s outdoors which is great for your mood, it’s social (everyone wants to interact with you), it’s a skill to develop which in turn gives you confidence. It can help with depression. It can be your happy place! (OP)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 05:33 PM
45

Assume they all just want sex. Have confidence that you will not give it to them. Sex is not a bargaining chip. It’s something to be shared with someone that is firmly planted in your life with undeniable commitment and actively making you happy every day. Stop dating so much. Be extremely selective, as if you can only date one man per month (not sure what kind of volume you’re doing). Read the handbook. Familiarize yourself with the red flags so that you can unmatch and/or block delete at first…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 04:59 PM
17

Drop Didn’t pay for your coffee (excuse me what?!) Wastes your time with daily random texts that go nowhere If he was interested to the degree that you should be expecting, he would be making more plans and not being random.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 02:10 PM
9

Thanks for all that you do! You make this sub the beautiful place that it is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 02:08 PM
67

I don’t date men anymore. I’d rather put my hand down the garbage disposal.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 02:02 PM
8

Love this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 04:24 AM
19

Get off the computer and pick up a skateboard You won’t regret it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 03:29 AM
6

I love the Beyoncé barometer. I’m going to remember that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 03:20 AM
22

Good job. Keep up the level up momentum.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 03:16 AM
20

You are doing this to yourself. You don’t have to go on dating apps. You don’t have to go out with these losers. And you definitely don’t have to sleep with them. I say this with love. I used to do this to myself too. Let it all go. Find something deeper and more meaningful in life than dead end romantic connections (modern dating).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 03:13 AM
49

BuT hE pUt A rInG oN iT!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 03:04 AM
74

I would literally rather die.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 03:01 AM
124

Quality not quantity. Raise your standards higher. Match with much fewer men. Unmatch at the first red flag. Video chat first. Dating shouldn’t be a chore. Don’t waste your limited time on this earth. I, personally, elect not to seek out dating because it’s tedious and disappointing, not to mention risky, but if you’re going to do it, try to make it as painless as possible by doing the above. And, of course, read the handbook.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 02:23 AM
43

Expect more out of life. An online situationship with a virtual LVM ain’t it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 02:10 AM
52

I think certain lessons have to be learned first hand by some people. We each have our own lessons like this. You have to get FED UP with being violated, to the point where you find your anger and find your voice, and you say “I’m done.” Maybe she won’t realize it today, but one day she’s going to be taking a painful shit and she’ll realize it isn’t worth it anymore.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 12:27 AM
14

Heartwarming
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 10:44 PM
127

Nobody wants me and I’m good with that. I want myself, therefore I’m taken 😎 I used to be so desperate for male validation that I put myself in harms way (physically, sexually, emotionally) year in and year out to get it. Now I just praise the lord I’m past that phase in my life. I have all the time in the world to do everything I love! And I don’t have to raise a man. I tried to raise my ex husband. It was a thankless job. I tried to be “good enough” for the guys I dated. I never was. Well gues…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 10:18 PM
50

Shift your perspective to gratitude! You didn’t marry him. You didn’t let him move into your home. You didn’t have a baby with him. He didn’t ruin your finances. He didn’t destroy your credit. He didn’t get you involved in crime. You don’t have to divorce him or go to court with him. You never took his name. He didn’t get you on drugs. He isn’t on the title of your house. He’s not trying to stalk, hurt or kill you. If you can agree with all of the above, and you are lucky enough to be on FDS, I’…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 08:19 PM
59

CancelOnlineDating It is the playground of predators.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 07:36 PM
3

These are old stories (I quit dating in 2020) and I have no more demons that I care to check up on. But when I did! When the wounds were fresh. That was what I saw.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 06:57 PM
12

Before covid, I went to OTF, which is a small gym where you see the same people every week in tight quarters. We would go on group hikes, bowling, beer/pizza outside of class. Two guys asked me out, and I went on one date but neither of them were my type really.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 06:33 PM
33

I hear ya! I would take your time putting down roots and focus on getting hobbies that fill your time and establishing personal connections outside of dating (friends, colleagues, gym/coffee shop acquaintances for example). Get to a place where you cannot say to yourself that you don’t know anyone. Make that a thing of the past so you don’t give off isolated vibes, which manipulators sniff out like blood in the water. Good luck!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 05:41 PM
84

You will meet men in real life. I dated five guys from real life last year. Don’t fool yourself into thinking online is the only way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 05:18 PM
14

Yes. This is another reason to avoid drinking on dates. Drinking makes you want to talk more and share more.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 03:10 PM
9

Trash just like the rest of them
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 03:08 PM
32

It’s not that they don’t want commitment once you sleep with them. It’s that they never intended for commitment in the first place. That’s why you vet long and hard for months. Someone that wants to make you theirs will have no issue waiting. They will have no choice but to wait, because they will be in love with you. 😉
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 03:06 PM
37

If you act like dick is abundant, dick will be abundant. Dick is a self-fulfilling prophecy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 03:03 PM
19

I discovered FDS at 31. (I’m still 31). Don’t sweat it. Who knows what they’re doing in their 20s anyway. My thirties have been my favorite decade so far. We have money, we have confidence, we have wisdom, we know what we want and we look HOT!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 03:01 PM
109

Immediate unmatch. He’s trying to get you to pursue him. Hilarious!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 02:59 PM
43

When you’re a HVW, you don’t need a man. Well, no one needs a man, but once you level up, it’s less about “losing hope” and more about “hey, life is better without men”. If a HVM enters my life, great! But I’ve never dated one and am battening down the hatches to ensure no more LVM enter my life. They will destroy you and aren’t worth the risk. Vet hard. Vet long. Vet thoroughly. Vetting is a marathon. They don’t get anything from me anymore until they’ve been vetted for months. LVM play the sho…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 02:52 PM
8

Yes queen!!! DIP! It could have repercussions (eviction on your record if he stops paying), but I think you should deal with that as it comes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 02:31 PM
10

Commit to a woman publicly. Narcs love to turn around and give someone else exactly what you wanted that they wouldn’t give. I’ve dumped a couple for trying to keep me a secret, and a month later they’re “In A ReLATiOnShiP” They don’t change for the next woman. She’s just the latest victim. If there’s one thing I’ve learned to do, it’s see their new girlfriends as just like me, NOT as competition. They fell for his game too. Got mistreated just the same. How do I know this? With social media, th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 02:27 PM
5

Good thing you didn’t sleep with him. That’s a classic line — “We need to sleep together before I make you my girlfriend.” Don’t ever fall for it. There will be so many more LVM like this in your life. Another one will be driving you crazy in about six months, if you aren’t observant. Keep your eyes peeled. Don’t give off lonely or eager to please vibes. Don’t be too available. Make them work for your attention. Opportunists can smell vulnerability a mile away. You have to go into dating knowing…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 02:21 PM
13

Good! When is the lease up? Do you have any male relatives that can make it clear to him he needs to move out? Sometimes that works like a charm. They won’t listen to you, but they’ll listen to another man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 02:11 PM
3

You said you quit hormonal BC and are on “non-hormonal” now. Make sure you don’t get pregnant. That would be an easy way for him to keep you in his life. Since you have to stay (it seems as if you’re risking being sued for breaking the lease if you left), create a plan. Don’t let him find out. Do NOT sign a new lease with him. New leases must be presented 90 days before your lease ends in CA, so, if you have a similar timeframe, you will eventually need to come clean to him while living together…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 01:56 PM
202

Tips for not having sex on a date: Masturbate before hand Don’t shave or trim your pubic hair Don’t drink any alcohol Don’t get in his car Don’t go to his place (I’ll admit I’ve never masturbated before a date, but it’s brilliant.)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 03:13 AM
47

Dating apps really have these jokers thinking they’re God’s gift. They’re a fascinating window into the male psyche. They’re all so..... full of themselves for no reason.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 01:29 AM
52

It’s easy to project perfection onto someone you don’t have to be disappointed by in reality. He’s a fantasy. He’s not taking you on dates. He’s not introducing you to family and friends. He isn’t meeting yours. He’s not spending money on you. He’s not committing to you publicly. He didn’t put a ring on it. I’d forget him. Fantasies are a great distraction, but they won’t get you very far. If you’re seeing other people, he obviously is as well. You are an option. An ego stroke. A reminder that h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 01:25 AM
68

Liberal feminism has undermined modern dating. We are now socialized into choosing to be the commitment-phobic cool girls men benefit most from us being. We have been brainwashed to feel shame for having self-serving, healthy standards, boundaries and attachments, because they threaten the ability of the burgeoning population of LVM to pass on their inferior genes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 10:18 PM
34

I guess you need some hobbies and interests, because, to me, dating is boring compared to how I spend my weekends. I simply don’t want to give it up to go on a date, much less get coupled up and never get to do what I love. (I’m a skater and I love going to the beach, so dating comes after both of those things) Get your money right. Your money will always be loyal. There’s really no comparison to doing your own thing 24/7. Find your passion. A “single girl” is an individual FIRST. They just happ…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 09:01 PM
53

Yeah, a reply shows you’ve left the door open to further manipulations. You haven’t quite had your fill. Block delete.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 07:27 PM
24

I don’t even feel bad for someone that has such little self respect. If you don’t even care about yourself... I can’t be bothered.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 05:25 PM
213

“dude” Get real. “I really don’t want to break things off with you” You didn’t. She broke them off with you. Idiot.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 03:58 PM
20

It is sad that we cannot save the world from the state it is in, but we CAN save ourselves. As a former BDSM-friendly Pickme, I am so grateful I found this sub, or I would have still been thinking I was cool for being down with it. I’m so proud to say that all BDSM freaks will hereby get dumped immediately, with sadistic pleasure!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 03:28 PM
8

Fortunately, these creeps give themselves away with their red flags! I think the source of most our strife comes from not heeding them and allowing them to move too fast sexually. We just have to be patient, let them initiate contact and dates and judge the quality of them, not sleep with them until commitment and dump at the first sign of LVM behavior. They give us all the knowledge we need. We just have to take the rose colored glasses off.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 03:14 PM
4

This is a great approach. Brilliant.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 02:51 PM
1

Don’t date a guy that makes you do all the physical initiation. It will just make you feel undesirable. He also may be gay (and auditioning you for the role of beard). The two hottest guys I ever dated turned out to be into men. I don’t think it’s wise to tell a man why you are dumping him, because it gives them the opportunity to gaslight and manipulate you into accepting their behavior due to whatever BS reason they come up with on the fly. And you will typically end up apologizing to them for…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 02:18 PM
10

Right, they’re going to have to be amphibious to get me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 01:53 PM
15

Keep these guys you’re dating well away from your daughter. I grew up having to live with boyfriend after boyfriend of my mom’s and I never felt comfortable. I was scared. I always give direction when a guy goes down on me. None have ever gotten offended. This man is a child.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 01:45 PM
60

Mommy didn’t love him enough
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 01:38 PM
15

Yesssss.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 04:01 AM
12

Classic
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 03:43 AM
171

This just blew my mind.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 03:25 AM
124

It reminds me of when, after sleeping with my ex husband for the first time, three weeks into dating, he told me “I was just about to give up”. I said... didn’t you know I was a virgin? (he definitely knew. Obviously didn’t care) He said no, he didn’t know. (BS. He was my first everything.) Zero regard for how a woman’s first time is terrifying. All they’re thinking about are their peepees. I still married him. He was awful. Good riddance.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 02:41 AM
39

Men benefit much more from online dating than women do. It is where manipulators thrive. In OLD, men can seduce dozens of women at the same time from the comfort of their boxer shorts. They get tons of dates, which often end in sex, with naive women eager to find love. All they have to do is lie! One day, women will wise up to the game that is getting played on them, tricking them into settling for easy cyber connections, which, 15 years ago were still taboo.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 02:32 AM
4

If they cancel once for work, they’ll do it again. And again. And it’s probably not work. Work is the go to excuse. It’s how they handle “double booking” dates. Don’t give him a chance to continually let you down, and feel anxiety before every date because you’re not sure if he’ll even show up. Don’t let him cancel last minute on you on Halloween after you told all your friends your plans. Don’t be like old me. Block after the first cancellation. I’ve dated guys that basically never cancel. They…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 02:22 AM
364

These fuckboys go from being brutally cold and ignoring you completely when it suits them to the most sickening saccharine bullshit you’ve ever heard when they need to get their dicks wet. Don’t ever fall for a sudden development of “emotions”. They’re fabricated.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 01:49 AM
33

Okay okay okay WHAT?!!!! This guy is a fucking landfill!!!! This is why I tell women to stay the hell off dating apps. Absolute black hole, less than zero CREEPS like this can work their voodoo on you from their mom’s basement! Thank god you got out of that “relationship”. What a pig. One of the biggest losers I’ve ever heard of. And I’ve dated some TOP LEVEL losers. Wash the past off your skin and enjoy being free again. Someone of quality will cross paths with you in time. It may take a decade…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 01:05 AM
82

You don’t have to have money to be high value. Think of all the impoverished people all over the world. They are certainly not low value due to their economic circumstance. High value individuals manage what they DO have in their best interest. They focus on advancing their career, because career = independence If that includes school, licenses or certificates, they pursue that. High value individuals aren’t content to just exist. They want to be BETTER. I used to have no credit history, lived p…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 12:26 AM
80

The Range Rover profile pic 🙄 I bet he says women are gold diggers too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 11:56 PM
63

Good for you!! Please be extra extra careful. Now is the time that they kill. I don’t want to get into specifics, but a relative of mine threatened to kill another relative of mine if she took the kids when she left him. Something in their brain goes crazy and when you escape their control with “their” child, their need to hurt you, kill you or make you pay is triggered. Get a ring doorbell and don’t open the door for him or anyone, really. There is no need to open the door for strangers. Let hi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 09:56 PM
38

He’s trying so hard to sell himself, yet comes across as conceited and aloof. Narcissist. Probably had a girlfriend or two already.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 09:30 PM
6

Great job. Give us a report in a month or so. We need ladies like you to vouch for how good life is when you get off that junk. (I practice what I preach, I haven’t touched it for a year as well and am lo-ving-life)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 09:20 PM
15

He’s sleeping with other women and concerned you’re doing the same. He’s mate guarding. A man that has respect for you would never say the sentence “U better not be cheating”. This is a grade A loser. Dump him with a vague explanation (want different things), block him and delete him. He is not going to enhance your life at all. And read the handbook a couple times!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 08:14 PM
52

No doubt about it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 03:46 PM
90

We live and we learn. I’ve had my share of similar experiences (being assaulted by an older man as a teen). He is a pedophile. He groomed you. You’re not his first, not his last, and most likely not the youngest.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 02:45 PM
232

I’m sorry this happened to you. When men that aren’t your committed boyfriend talk sexually to you, block delete. Sexual talk outside the context of a committed relationship is disrespect. Disrespect is a precursor to being used/abused/assaulted. Nothing good follows disrespect.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 02:39 PM
92

This is why I don’t online date anymore (I’ve met a total of three strangers in person). You never know what you’re going to get with a complete stranger. This guy sounds potentially abusive, raising his voice on a first date. Who needs this shit in their lives! It’s astounding how men treat women on the modern dating scene. Chivalry is dead. OLD = minimal effort creeps They go around splitting bills and suggesting coffee dates and walks because they’re either dating so many women, broke, or sim…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 02:27 PM
5

Do you live in California? Are you married by common law? Is his name on the title of your house? Do you feel like he would become dangerous when you kick him out? Do you have a relative that can live with you after he is kicked out?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 02:14 PM
15

Did he really just say “I need your p*ssy”?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 02:08 PM
5

Block delete. He manages to tell you that you can still remain friends after you already ended things, and THEN insults you?! And blames you for his behavior?! Girl, this guy is what block delete was INVENTED for. Don’t feel too bad. His type are a DIME a DOZEN. I have had one just like this in my life for the past year and a half (everything you’re going through minus sex). Coming in and out of my life when he needs his wounds licked, telling me I’m the one and to give him another chance. I use…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 02:00 PM
2

While I agree that you shouldn’t have asked that because the obvious answer would be yes, Do you really want to start a romance off knowing he’s lying to you about other people? Is that worth your energy?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 01:38 PM
2

Social media accounts
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 01:10 PM
17

I would play it cool. Don’t be too easily charmed before having met him, because even after you’ve begun dating in person, it takes a couple months to see more of who they really are as a person. Did you give him your home address?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 04:21 AM
14

First off: you’re not a shit human being. Don’t talk about yourself like that. You’re a queen. Maybe this new guy just isn’t the one for you. Just because you think you should desire him, because he checks all the right boxes, doesn’t mean you will. You’ve been single for two months (if my math is correct). If this new man isn’t pulling at your heart strings, don’t force it. There will be more men. Abundance mindset.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 03:41 AM
15

Agreed on all points.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 03:21 AM
32

Congrats!! You are setting a great example for your daughter and making space for the life you deserve. I, too, am sober, and it really helps me stay in the driver’s seat sexually and emotionally. In addition to feeling all around healthier and happier. Keep us updated!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 03:19 AM
17

You did good, sis. Keep up the high standards. It will serve you well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 03:07 AM
2

Signed up today. One post. Zero comments.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 12:15 AM
47

I’ve never owned lingerie, but I’m pretty sure it would be for me and not him. I would just be staring at myself in the mirror 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 11:39 PM
29

Wow. Thank god you background checked. Which site did you use? I use TruthFinder, and I’m curious where you got such a detailed criminal background report. I’ve never paid extra on TruthFinder for the criminal background but will next time. Not dating anytime soon anyway.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 11:25 PM
73

I didn’t have a typical college experience either. Went to a community college and had no friends except my books and rad teachers. Lived at home and went to exactly zero parties. All that matters is getting that degree. Good luck. Whatever it is you’re searching for, IT will find YOU. ✌️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 11:15 PM
169

It is so sad to see a young woman in college say “dating apps are all I have”, “what’s wrong with me” and “I’ll never meet a guy like my ex”. What scares you about deleting dating apps? You are in college! Focus on school and have fun with friends. Society has planted the seed in your brain that you have to be in a relationship, dating or looking for love to be normal. It’s complete bullshit. A man is not going to enhance your life in some magical way. Statistically, he will make you less happy …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 10:59 PM
22

Block delete that POS and he will find an easier target to extort. Do not engage. Save the screen shots. He should be exposed, because he’s no doubt doing that to other girls, but I know it’s risky and draining to do such a thing. Welcome. We are each other’s tribe.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 10:29 PM
29

It’s the display I find offputting. I’d never hold a dead animal I’d killed up and pose with it. So I know we wouldn’t gel.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 09:59 PM
26

She didn’t feel defeated by it. That’s how she won. She snatched up some wisdom, followers and exposed him. I’m an optimist. She tried. Could have cried into a banana split instead.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 09:47 PM
59

I hate fishing photos. Oh you’re so cool you took a life and are using it to get validation on the internet! It conveys a distinct lack of empathy I’m not comfortable with.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 09:20 PM
2

Please share links!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 08:06 PM
1

He’s pure gold in that role
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 08:05 PM
12

Agreed. That’s scary that she thought it was a good idea. She also said she slept 6 hours over the 2 days of straight driving. She probably slept on the side of the road. She could have fallen asleep at the wheel or been attacked while sleeping. Or her car could have gotten a flat or broken down. Or someone could have hit her car on purpose to attack her. She is very lucky, and I hope she realizes it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 08:01 PM
204

I always use TruthFinder. It’s like $27/month (cancel anytime) and totally worth it. It shows you: -their social media accounts -addresses -aliases -family and close relations -companies -birthday and age -criminal record (typically for an additional fee) -tax liens -phone numbers -general income bracket It’s a great way to verify where they say they live, if their place is in a woman’s name (like a guy I dated), if they’re married, etc. ETA: I discovered his place was also where his business pa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 02:58 PM
2

Update: I got him to block him!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 02:54 PM
143

ETA: Okay I’m sorry but this young lady is lost. I looked at her Twitter and she is showing explicit pictures of her body, promoting OnlyFans for $6/mo (with toy play), is already getting Botox and fillers (according to her!) I can’t. —- So I watched several of her tik toks. Unfortunately she slept with him as soon as she met him (she broadcast their postcoital selfies). While she was still there (immediately after sex, presumably), he got mad at her because he didn’t want to be in a relationshi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 02:43 PM
63

Poor teenagers these days, putting every cringey thought out there with their name and picture. I feel blessed to have made it through high school while Facebook was still for college students only, and cell phones made a satisfying clapping sound when you closed them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 02:27 PM
10

“I always will love him” she said of her husband. “I mean, I have two kids by him.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 02:22 PM
57

I wish I could say I’m surprised. Men do so many things just to impress their friends. A good rule of thumb would be to not do anything a guy could laugh at you for behind your back. (Paying, nudes, sexual favors/sex, paragraphs, begging for dates, cooking, cleaning, driving to his house, etc)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 02:19 PM
17

Here is some advice: Drive yourself to the destination for dates. This way, it cannot be confused. If you’re at Mastro‘s, it’s going to be very difficult for him to get you to a hotel or into his car. One strike you’re out. Is he baiting and switching dates? Making you feel like FWB? Block delete. You’re going get the lowest form of treatment you accept. Do not give them a chance to do this to you. Expect them to be like this, and prepare for it. Never show up to a guy’s house unless he’s your b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 02:11 PM
249

Always background check! I do truthfinder. Let me know if you know of a better one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 01:50 PM
32

You forgot to put “sister” in quotes too 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 02:38 AM
13

I promise you, it feels 100x better to stop giving a guy chances than to keep giving him chances.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 02:34 AM
18

BS Block delete and smile to yourself
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 02:27 AM
228

I unsubscribed from men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 02:25 AM
46

I would simply ignore them. Boring, low effort, none of his business. Wait for someone to express genuine interest and appreciation in you, not one that sizes up their competition to gauge how much effort they need to put in.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 12:20 AM
94

He thinks he’s such a hero too. And she is so proud to be engaged to him on her insta. barf Their future children will no doubt internalize their dad’s colorism. You aren’t cured of something like that by “the right woman”.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 10:58 PM
9

I follow childfree too! high five*
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 10:27 PM
93

This story managed to get my blood boiling. Your ex is so selfish. He threw your marriage away, told you he never loved you on your wedding day, cheated with a coworker and then wants you back?! What a complete prick. My ex husband, my first boyfriend, also divorced me after his friend decided to divorce his wife. He coldly told me to stop contacting him and move on. I had already moved out and moved on, when six months later, right before the divorce finalized, he called me crying, on drugs, dr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 08:48 PM
26

Our sub is competition. They don’t want women to know about it. If the information we promoted wasn’t powerful, we would simply be ridiculed and laughed at. But it is, so we are a threat. Banning FDS is akin to the burning of books, and we are ostracized like witches. Doxxing us is the modern form of burning us at the stake.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 07:33 PM
53

This ain’t a Ho test, it’s a red flag guide! (I appreciate the great article, but we need to stop internalizing their bullshit). Just delete the two columns on the right, ladies. All you need is in column #1.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 06:38 PM
14

Their insincere love bombing. You fall for it because you know you’re worthy of such love, but you’re not quite savvy enough to know it’s too soon and just manipulation. Plying you with attention and then taking it away. They want you to chase them. It was all about their ego from the start. They seem to live an empty, superficial life dedicated to validating their bottomless ego. They typically have addictions. They can’t bond with people, so they usually have few friends and opt for superficia…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 06:29 PM
18

Yep, you’re in that familiar rinse cycle. There are so many great authors on the subject of narcissism. Natasha Adamo is my favorite (check out her blog). HG Tudor is an admitted male narcissist who reveals their tactics. Thrive After Abuse is a great youtube channel (she goes over 52 red flags in different videos) I’m at a point in my life where the subject of narcissism bores me. I dated them for years, and have figured out all of their tactics. They are pathetic to me now, whereas when they h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 06:15 PM
35

I’m embarrassed for him. And his mother. And his girlfriend.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 06:11 PM
122

Male Honor Is A Myth is worthy of its own post! It’s complete fiction! Women have honor.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 06:09 PM
35

My intuition is seeing glaring red flags all over this post. If you value the safety and happiness of yourself, your children and your unborn child, you will leave him immediately. He will abuse you and them. He sounds like a physical abuser that just hasn’t gotten there yet. Get him out of your life and protect yourself. Pregnant women are at a huge risk of being murdered, especially if you leave them. Go live with family. Also, you don’t have to put his name on the birth certificate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 05:10 PM
28

I wouldn’t even steer them by saying that’s something you’d do with a friend. You shouldn’t have to tell a man how to court you. Just say no thanks. You don’t have to say yes! I know it’s hard but a simple no is within your rights.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 05:02 PM
8

My advice is to not give a man sexual favors (which cause attachment) until you have had the time to vet him throughly, and for his true colors to show. This typically takes a couple months. Most men cannot keep up their BS act for more than a few weeks, and their true intentions will show. Continue no contact, and let the healing begin. Read the handbook and the posts on this reddit for daily encouragement.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 04:44 PM
123

Don’t give them a roadmap. Don’t say you expect a proper date days in advance, SHOW them by declining low effort shit like this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 04:38 PM
20

They’re 👏🏻 mad 👏🏻 because 👏🏻 they 👏🏻 were 👏🏻 benefitting 👏🏻 from 👏🏻 the 👏🏻 system 👏🏻 we’re 👏🏻 destroying 👏🏻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 03:28 PM
2

They’re so butthurt that women are rejecting their slave programming and having standards. And BROADCASTING said standards across the internet for other women to see and adopt for themselves. We are like the circus elephant that realizes its chain isn’t tethered to anything, and that we been following orders for no reason. If we escape, so will the other animals. The ones that BENEFIT the most from the programming are the ones in a fit of rage. That’s why it’s the low value losers that have a pr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 03:13 PM
6

Like a real life Bevers from Broad City, but way worse! I will never live with roommates or a boyfriend again, and if this happened to me I would be BEYOND livid. Enjoy your new place!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 03:00 PM
5

This is a fantastic idea!!! Cut off the internet ASAP
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 02:56 PM
171

Abhorrent. The next man I give a blowjob to will be my husband. I’m done sucking low value dick. Whether I enjoy it or not, they simply don’t deserve it anymore. They are all aggressive like this, and you don’t know where that thing has been. The last time I sucked a dick was during sex with a guy I was dating, and he straight up gagged me and then made fun of the noise my throat made whilst being gagged. (This is the same gentleman that would rape me later that night after we had sex consensual…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 02:48 PM
22

I had unexpectedly bumped into my ex in public. He told me I looked great and asked to see me that weekend. I said no. After seeing him, I was overcome by memories that made me feel bitter, angry and ashamed. I googled a phrase that felt fitting at the time. Something to the effect of men being trash, and I saw a woman had posted that exact sentiment on some sub called FemaleDatingSite. Dating was not a priority in my life (I had been on a seven month break), so I was skeptical. But after a glan…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 02:15 PM
29

I think the obsession with dating and finding the one is rooted in a general discomfort with sitting with oneself. One’s thoughts. One’s mortality. Many philosophers, writers, composers and artists were loners. You can’t create if you’re busy thanklessly dedicating every waking moment of your life to one LVM after another. You need to be still. Ponder. Reflect. Constant interpersonal chaos is a subconscious choice many people make. It’s comfortable. The locus is external.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 04:40 AM
59

This sub is life changing. Thank you all for making it possible.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 04:32 AM
38

Can a meme be too accurate?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 03:43 AM
24

If she’s so happy she got picked, why’s she broadcasting vitriol in her free time? She’s in the denial phase. There’s still hope for her!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 02:38 AM
4

Yes queen! I can tell by your attitude that great things are coming your way. The power of manifestation!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 02:18 AM
34

Wow. Men are sick. Reminds me when I told my dad about being assaulted by my sister’s best friend’s 21 year old boyfriend at a party when I was 15. He said, well that’s what you get for drinking. He also refuses to unfriend my ex on Facebook who he knows raped me and stole from me. He keeps me updated on their interactions, even though I’ve told him to block him. Ugh
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 02:03 AM
37

original tweet
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 01:54 AM
29

I just saw your comment about him not being on the lease. I hope this doesn’t lead to an eviction on your record if he doesn’t leave. Are you sure you don’t have any male relatives or friends that can remove his shit and change the locks? Not sure of the legality. What a mess. Yes, I’m definitely never letting a boyfriend move in, especially after reading this!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 12:11 AM
22

Ditch him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 11:50 PM
61

Good for you for giving notice and getting out of there! Hopefully he doesn’t vindictively destroy the place while you’re gone. Please keep us updated. We are here to help.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 11:48 PM
38

Nonconsensual insemination is rape. Side note: I May Destroy You is a great commentary on consent
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 10:07 PM
362

ALSO MEN: Leave me and I’ll make you seem like an unfit parent in court, get sole custody AND get child support from you because I physically abused you and you divorced me for it. And then I’ll abuse our daughter as an outlet for my rage. /my dad
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 06:53 PM
2

This is the one I have. I think it is their only peep hole camera. https://shop.ring.com/products/door-peephole-security-camera
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 06:45 PM
16

Get a Ring peep hole camera (mine was $140). Very easy to install and arrived the next day. I have never had an ex bang on my door before. That is not normal behavior. The camera will record everything he does and you will never have to open it to talk to anyone. It syncs with an app on your phone. You can talk through the app to him if you must, but I wouldn’t recommend communicating with him at all. Also block him. Have a friend or relative live with you for a while. Move somewhere else if pos…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 03:02 PM
16

If he doesn’t want the full pay the bill, pay your half and don’t see him again. It’s in the handbook. Most if not all men I’ve dated paid the full bill, no questions asked. If you are encountering men that pressure you to split the bill, you may need to vet better and decline more dates.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 01:35 PM
44

Please lose him pronto. This is well beneath you. Car dates, tea dates, home dates, Sunday, Monday dates are all a hell no. He doesn’t get a second chance. He showed you he was playing in the little league right off the bat.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 03:22 AM
30

-do you think he would ever hurt you (#1 predicting factor, according to Why Does He Do That by Lundy Bancroft) -does your gut make you feel uneasy/afraid around him -does he exhibit jealousy -does he get very angry very quickly -does he push your boundaries in general -does he push to touch you/have sex -is he into BDSM -does he ask you inappropriate sexual questions -does he disrespect women -does he tell you what to do -does he put down your ideas, thoughts, feelings -does he gaslight you -do…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 03:06 AM
17

Girl, if you feel that way, the last thing you should be doing is dating. The low self esteem you are admitting to will be for narcissists what blood in the water is for sharks. I’d throw the brakes on using apps. Men on dating apps are masters at presenting themselves as great catches, and seldom, seldom are. Please be careful. Reread the handbook and remind yourself that dick is abundant.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 02:31 AM
28

Mine? Meet them at the destination, candlelit dinner, no drinking, get down to business, it’s basically a job interview for them, let him get the check, let him kiss my hand, say goodbye, go home and go to sleep. No kissing, no drinking, no hooking up, no paying for anything. No more. My next first date will be alllll business. I’ll dress for power, not seduction. I’ll speak to gather information, not to impress. I’ll look in his eyes to study him, not to fall in love.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 01:55 AM
5

I think this statistic is going to rapidly increase now that we have with porn, dating apps, Facebook, Instagram, etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 01:07 AM
9

I know! It’s paradise. I’m so glad we have our own website too, so that it can never be taken away from us!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 01:04 AM
6

Happy birthday! My 30s have been my favorite decade. Enjoy and keep leveling up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 01:04 AM
72

The house I shared with my ex husband and his brother was so bad I simply MOVED OUT. Poof, gone. It was way worse than this. It was something of nightmares. (Think Hoarders + alcoholism + toe curling body odor). After that experience, I don’t think I’m equipped to live with men anymore. I’ve paid my dues.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 12:57 AM
81

If anyone wants to date this man, I have his number 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 12:33 AM
18

Move on. Your gut already knows this. He’s not putting in the effort. Honor yourself over him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 12:08 AM
25

Agreed. While he is disgustingly verbally abusive, she is reveling in the negative attention and flaunting his abuse on social media. Kids having kids. And you just know the grandparents are supporting them and their child.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 11:14 PM
55

What a queen. She is so right. Love how she slides into the shot in her socks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 11:00 PM
124

So respect goes one way with this prick. She must respect his feelings about tattoos, while he gets to ignore hers. I don’t even care for tattoos and I hope she gets it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 09:56 PM
11

Now this I can get behind. A whole post expounding on such an attitude would be a fun read.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 09:47 PM
12

Possibly by profession? Maybe avoid individuals with loner jobs, such as IT, non-team athlete, writer, artist or CEO and instead consider more team/person oriented careers (sales, teaching, construction, medicine, coach, instructor, real estate) Just an idea. The guys I dated that didn’t have to work with a lot of people to survive and got to do their own thing (one author, one IT guy, one tech guy, and an unemployed athlete) were the worsttttt because they never had to compromise much or commun…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 09:09 PM
55

Great job. Exercise is nature’s drug. When you stop interacting with LVM, you may go through withdrawals of attention. Stay the course. After six months you’ll wonder why you ever bothered, and how you ever put up with their shit in the first place. When you love yourself, you get twice the return on your investment, because others rise to your level of self love.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 08:48 PM
58

I’m going to pass on dating three guys at once. I’m not wasting my precious free time like that. I don’t buy into the “dating is a necessity” crap society shoves down our throats. I’ve got plenty of things to do with my life and more disappointing dating sure as hell isn’t one of them anymore.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 06:37 PM
130

I just saw this on Instagram and was hoping someone would post it here. Childbirth is dangerous, and a mask like this makes it difficult to breathe, communicate verbally and have your expression be read. It is not only extremely dangerous for the mother but the baby as well. LVM priorities right there. Getting likes on the gram is more important than being present and concerned about the wellbeing of his wife, who is most definitely in the most excruciating pain of her life and bringing new life…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 06:10 PM
26

Don’t snoop. That’s beneath you. Just dump him. No explanation. Don’t let him learn how to be more successful with his deception or gaslight you into staying and accepting his behavior. What’s your monthly talk, out of curiosity?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 04:53 PM
14

I get what you’re saying, but as an antinatalist, I would prefer that none of them play with baby dolls. I have a burdensome surplus of empathy, and I was never given dolls to play with. I don’t think there is a correlation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 03:20 PM
346

Agreed, friends with benefits = unpaid prostitution. Shocking? Disrespectful? Yes, it is, and that’s exactly how you should interpret such a proposal. He is not your friend, and the benefits are all his.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 02:37 PM
47

This article put into words why I never want children. I saved it and forwarded it to my dad (who fully supports my decision, as a fellow antinatalist). I am almost 32, and you don’t even know how exciting it is for me to age past my childbearing years. Women have been socialized to compete against each other for various trophies of enslavement. A boyfriend. A fiancé. A diamond ring. A husband. A baby. All of these things tie a woman to a man, increase her likelihood of being abused or murdered,…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 02:24 PM
30

The person you marry can be turn out to be a total stranger one day. It happened to me, this woman, and countless others. Choose wisely and don’t let pride keep you from having a plan B. Prepare as of you were to divorce one day. Protect your assets. Protect your credit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 02:10 PM
44

Cognitive dissonance
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 01:59 PM
39

Same. And same to the OP and other commenters. It’s hard to admit, but I just wanted to be touched, kissed, wanted, slept beside. None of them ever made me feel loved or cared about, but I had someone else’s body touching mine for a short while. Now that I have worked on filling the void within my heart with self love, self care and joy, I am no longer a sex fiend. I’ve not had sex for seven months and I am quite enjoying it. Sex is once again sacred. You CAN go from being easy to being out of r…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 03:28 AM
20

Ghost. You’re not a priority. You deserve better. You won’t break his heart. People don’t flake over and over again on someone they’re really into. I’m not trying to hurt your feelings. I’ve been on the receiving end of this behavior many times. I’m trying to get you to understand that you don’t owe him an explanation. He made his grave. If you try to explain, he will only gaslight you, damaging your faith in your own judgment, intuition and standards.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 03:15 AM
3

I get what you’re saying but those qualities are too important to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 03:09 AM
18

I will only list qualities I also possess, so as to demonstrate it’s not too much to ask- no kids (I’m childfree, so it’s a prerequisite) very good credit stable employment makes at least as much as I do doesn’t abuse the English language no substance abuse issues no criminal record respectful athletic / outdoorsy close to his family financially savvy has concrete goals for himself demonstrates proper hygiene not abusive not on dating apps not addicted to porn willing to open his life to me not …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 01:29 AM
29

She’s too young to know better. She’ll understand one day.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 01:03 AM
27

This is why, IF you’re going to online date—and I don’t recommend it—talk to them for a few weeks before accepting a date. (And they must offer a proper date of their own volition) This will filter out sooooooo much trash for you. It’s all about quality, not quantity. This is your life you’re gambling with. People cannot help but reveal their true selves and let their mask slip over time. Many men reveal their red flags as a test to see how much you’re willing to tolerate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 08:15 PM
73

It’s sad how ignorant young women are about marriage. Myself included, previously. Marriage benefits the men much more than the women, unless he is of remarkably high value. You want to cook every meal, do all the cleaning, pay half the bills or more, watch him play video games, catch him on dating apps, ignore his porn addiction, put your credit score and finances at risk, have him cheat on you while pregnant, drink to excess, abuse you, possibly have your children taken away or pay child suppo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 06:15 PM
197

This is a dangerous person that seeks to dominate you. Do not meet him under any circumstances. Get a security camera (ring peephole camera), do NOT open the door for strangers, get a big scary dog, if possible, and do not live alone. You are at great risk of being murdered right now. Read Why Does He Do That Stay safe. Do not talk to him. He is going to be like a drug addict going through withdrawals without his punching bag around. I would also not date right now, in case you were considering …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 03:26 PM
59

I cringe all the time about my past behavior, but that’s how you know you’ve leveled up. You aren’t growing if you don’t cringe at who you used to be. It’s a great sign, actually.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 03:02 PM
7

Yes. My exes actually got more and more deranged, depraved and dangerous, and I know for sure I’ve been maturing this whole time. The problem with this sort of thinking is that it makes you think you’re too smart to get conned, too savvy to get played, and that is exactly the kind of person it takes to manipulate. Someone that believes it won’t happen to them. They are so stubborn to this fact that they will rationalize glaring red flags away in attempt to soothe their unacceptable cognitive dis…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 02:08 PM
48

Yes! Another guy I dated was a real sicko. BDSM sex freak. He did things to me that are too awful to put into writing. HE had a hard time getting it up. I had never encountered a flaccid penis in a romantic setting before. I was embarrassed for him. God, these low value idiots are ruining the ONE thing they have left to offer us 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 01:45 PM
24

This is what low self esteem looks like. It will destroy your life. Please work on your self esteem before you date, so that you don’t end up like this girl. I wouldn’t be surprised if he had gotten paid for “sharing” her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 01:30 PM
64

I went on two dates with a younger gamer guy that loved Anime and later admitted to being a masturbation addict. I remember he asked me if I could squirt... and I couldn’t believe what I was reading. “You do know squirting isn’t real...?” I said. We never had sex or anything. Shocker: He also told me he can’t come from sex. A 25 year old. I never knew porn sickness was a thing until FDS. Now I know better!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 01:17 PM
81

Marriage isn’t a guarantee of happiness or commitment forever. Remember that when you compare yourself to your friends. I was married young. I thought it was forever. (Thank God it wasn’t) I think you absolutely should give up. There is so much more to life than “love”, and you deserve to discover it. Stop chasing a fantasy and discover your purpose. Find your hunger. Happiness and fulfillment come from within. Another person cannot complete your life. You need to be strong on your own, as a ful…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 05:01 AM
41

Asking you to “meet up” is a red flag in and of itself. He should be asking you out on a date with a time and place. Not last minute. Preparing for a date takes time. Any last minute meet up requests are low value. Someone probably cancelled on him and you were a second or third choice. Do not accept. A man that values you shows you with the quality and thoughtfulness of the date he plans. Low quality date = lack of respect. This is not to say you are not worthy of respect. Simply that many men …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 02:31 AM
13

When they go on this power trip, make it a one way ticket. They’re seeing how much disrespect you will tolerate. How little you will settle for in your desperation for him. If you raise the issue, they will say you are being unreasonable. That he was working all day and doesn’t look at his phone while he works. That he went to bed early and didn’t see the message in the morning. Do you want someone that considers you an afterthought? During the exciting dating phase? Then do not explain yourself…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 01:53 AM
20

Hell yes. Many years ago, I was 51/50 after taking quite a bit of Xanax when my LVM ex husband drove me past my limit of tolerance with his alcoholism, blackouts, injuries, reckless spending, gaming, wall punching jealousy, treating me like I didn’t exist except for sex and, of course, filth. He wouldn’t even let me have friends or be close to my family. He would fly into a rage if, for example, a man was in the car when I got a ride back home from friends at a company party. He was convinced ev…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 01:19 AM
22

I came here to say what everyone else said — that this is a rude little boy not worthy of a reply. Take your time getting to know someone prior to accepting a date, and you can filter clowns like this out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 11:16 PM
26

They sound like creepy molesters in full on grooming mode. And they’re condescending. (That’s sweet) And confused about what they want out life. (You can’t reminisce about being dead set and still be dead set) Why do they talk down to you like you’re a child, with the heyyy, uptalk (unnecessary ending of a sentence like it’s a question) and insincere :) smiley face. So. Creepy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 06:45 PM
17

And he didn’t forget he was on it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 06:31 PM
48

Dating apps are not good for one’s mental health, safety or self esteem. Good for you for realizing this. That’s the thing about guys that neg — they’re typically well below your league. They think poorly of themselves and want you to join them in their misery.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 03:22 PM
45

I was the one that posted about my net worth, and it makes me so happy to know I had a small impact on someone else’s life! I’m divorced too (together for six years, divorced five years ago) and I have completely reclaimed my life to the point that I can’t even think about the time when I was married to a LVM. It was too empty, draining and depressing. It was like I was in a coma! You are clearly beginning to live life to its fullest, and that’s where you want to be if you were to meet someone n…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 03:10 PM
19

The beauty of heartbreak is that it’s the feeling of discovering someone you love doesn’t love you like you thought they did. It is the feeling of being freed from your own fantasies. She’s lucky she didn’t marry him first or have a child with him. She will one day realize this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 02:50 PM
53

She has a lot of growing up to do. She moved in with and got pregnant by a mere boyfriend. She’s making excuses for actions he chose to take. She believes his lies about being stressed at work while he was likely cheating with his ex. She’s villainizing his ex instead of her own ex. She’s being a pickme that says “I would never take his kids away from him like his ex does” He is a huge loser, and she can’t even see it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 02:00 PM
198

Sadly we would be doxxed, harassed or worse if we made a video. I haven’t seen these vids but my only guess is these women don’t have the courage to apply the strategy themselves. They think, “If I weren’t texting first, splitting the bill, not demanding commitment and having porn star sex with him, he wouldn’t be sticking around.” And they would be right. And that’s the point. You have you love yourself more than you love low value, low energy, low vibration attention. And they don’t. Otherwise…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 01:53 PM
3

Omg.... brilliant.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 01:42 PM
12

-The Affair. The title sounds so cliche, but it unfolds beautifully over the seasons. I adore Helen. -La Femme Nikita (with Pita Wilson). Badass feminist spy. -Broad City -O Negocio (yes, it’s about escorts, but I find it deliciously refreshing. Karin and Magali are my favorites and Ariel is hilarious) -the Handmaiden (movie) by Park Chan Wook -Being Mary Jane (Mary) -Insecure (seconding your selection!) ETA: okay maybe this one isn’t FDS material. I just love the show too 🥰 -Unreal (I adore Qui…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 01:14 AM
84

Men are obsessed with our exes because, for them, it’s not so much about us as it is about winning! Besting another man! The last guy I dumped said he knows I just went back to my ex. Uhm, no sweetie, I’ve been single since we broke up and you were the devil. Please stop messaging my dad on social media. Thanksss I think the “girl that went back to her ex” trope is attractive to them because it excuses them from any accountability in the ending of the relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 12:47 AM
16

Whoever this guy is needs to GO. His self esteem is over inflated.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/20 10:48 PM
79

This is why I stopped drinking. Two glasses of red wine and I’m reaching out to radioactive material level toxic exes 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/20 10:42 PM
27

The love patch sends me. What was he thinking? This looks like a professional headshot.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/20 10:40 PM
57

Sex is just sex to them. That’s why you should never feel bad about not giving it to them. They can and will get it literally anywhere else. So save yourself some heartache and vet them thoroughly first. First step - make sure they are someone you’d want to commit to. That’s why you have to slow down and drag it out over a few months. You cannot see a person for who they really are in four dates. Second step - wait for them to commit to you of their own volition. Publicly. Explicitly. Step three…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/20 10:04 PM
9

Read the handbook. Also, it’s counter intuitive to your question, but taking your time getting to know them is the best way. Let enough time go by that they show themselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/20 04:14 PM
68

Haha “I don’t force conversation” = I’m low effort, boring and entitled. Like.... don’t flatter yourself boo. We’ll be just fine without taking care of your son and paying your bills while you play video games. If all women got off dating apps.... we could change the world. We have to find a way to get the message out!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/20 01:26 PM
5

These are soooo good. Dating really is a job interview for men. Once you see it in that light, it’s so much easier to check inappropriate behavior. Please feel free to comment this incredible incredible list in my “LVM Bingo” post from yesterday. The ladies around here would benefit from it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/20 04:38 AM
12

I’ve totally abandoned finding love and am just pursuing happiness every day. I love my life. Wouldn’t change a thing. I’ve only ever been abused, lied to, taken for granted and used by the men I’ve dated, so I’m just totes over it. I was married once, too, and it wasn’t fulfilling. I think relationships just aren’t for me. I excel at work, athletics, taking care of my family and being responsible in general. I have enough going for me. Can’t have it all. Plus I don’t want kids or feel an immedi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/20 03:24 AM
8

I can completely empathize with being dumped by a toxic person and being sad but also knowing it was for the best. Toxic relationships are a blend of pleasure and pain, and it’s hard to let go sometimes. That said, it’s not realistic or ideal to be with the same person from age 14 for the rest of your life. You will grow into so many different versions of yourself over the next decade. This breakup was a painful but essential part of growing up. Enjoy college. Get good grades, meet new friends a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/20 02:58 AM
5

I love this!!! Holding hands and hugging is so sweet and romantic. Kissing is too intimate for first date, but they all do it. I’m going to emulate this for sure.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/20 02:44 AM
56

Sounds cheap! And risky (to be in private with a stranger). Good job. You do your thang, but I’ve finally learned to avoid drinking on dates. I now want to be alert to red flags and not let them get into my pants. I no longer see a date as an opportunity to have a good time. A successful partnership is so much more than a good time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/20 01:47 AM
20

I’m not going to tell the next man no sex til commitment, because he may try to use that to either get everything but sex or pretend he’s committed and then ghost. I’m going to show rather than tell. I’m going to go so slow and compose myself with such class that he has no choice but to step up to the plate to win me over. I’m excited.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/20 09:59 PM
52

They’re just so unimaginably pathetic. Women would never dream of such evil plots, so we fall victim to it. They are nothing like us, and the sooner we realize it, the better off we are.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/20 03:52 PM
91

Yep. A guy I dated 99% likely did that to me. He was into 4chan and suddenly all his random internet buddies started looking at my profile and one requested friendship. I asked him why and he said don’t accept his request, he just adds girls to get nudes and trades them online. He literally gave me his modus operandi. I never sent nudes since that day and never will. I chalk it up to being a lesson and hopefully I blended in with all the other nudes online. Mine weren’t very explicit thank god.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/20 03:25 PM
36

Correct. I had a starter marriage and wasted 6 years of my 20s. (He divorced me, I didn’t intentionally plan on it being a starter marriage) Men will take dating you seriously only if you take yourself seriously. They will always take as much as they can get away with. Don’t give away sexual favors without bona fide commitment. Demand respect. Demand your standards be met. Or leave. You have all of the power. You never have to try to pressure a man to take dating seriously. Don’t offer up the go…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/20 02:55 PM
58

Imagine being that woke while still wearing braces
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/20 02:25 PM
67

The no reply is so powerful. They taught us this themselves. We’re simply reclaiming it. Power move.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/20 02:20 PM
48

Once you begin to recognize patterns like this, it’s really fun to turn the tables. Flip that shit, as Leon in Curb Your Enthusiasm would say. Like when a guy asked for my number at the beach last weekend. He didn’t text me for almost two days. So I blocked and deleted him, naturally. Meanwhile, he is assuredly the one feeling rejected because I’m not chasing him (he initially sent me a text to give me his number and I replied to confirm receiving it). The best part is that he met me at the beac…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/20 02:13 PM
19

Literally same. Marriage, specific rings, specific apartment we were going to move into... But wouldn’t call me his girlfriend on Facebook. Then called some other girl his GF on Facebook a month later. He was so low value I won’t even go there (he was a 4chan dude) and it was a big mistake, but at least I never slept with him 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/20 01:41 PM
13

Great job breaking up with him for breaking your trust. Your already honoring yourself already. You are going to get played over and over by men in your lifetime. Lucky for you, you’re already in the habit of breaking it off immediately. I let myself get played for over 15 years before I grew a backbone. You’re going to feel sad for a while but you cannot get back trust, and he’s not worth it. Block him and delete him. The sadness will subside with time and you will someday soon shed your old sk…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 11:27 PM
3

Co-sign. Focus on school, career, not getting pregnant. Most men you will encounter in your lifetime are liabilities, not assets.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 11:22 PM
31

I see your social media creep and raise you a TruthFinder background check. That’s right. You’re getting background checked before I go out with you now. I used to always do it after they’d crossed some unforgivable line just to find out what kind of person I was dealing with. I don’t wait anymore. BG check before first date.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 11:19 PM
2

Have one! Growing it more and more every month. That’s mostly where the uptick is coming from.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 11:00 PM
6

Please block him everywhere as insurance. This guy sounds like a guaranteed date rapist.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 10:38 PM
6

I think you’re right. (I’m old enough to remember using Napster, Limewire, etc) Also social media. Social media allows women to get cheap attention by flaunting their mostly naked bodies. Social media also begets competition, and so you have millions of impressionable young ladies objectifying themselves for attention. Objectification goes hand in hand with violence. This poor young generation. I can’t imagine having kids in this realized dystopia.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 10:26 PM
29

You absolutely did the right thing. Part of leveling up is recognizing old behavior of yours and choosing not to do it. You are questioning yourself is because it feels foreign to honor yourself like this. To have these new standards. Soon it will feel foreign to dishonor yourself by allowing a guy to see what he can get away with. You have to be ruthless to get what you deserve! Nothing but the best anymore, girls!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 10:02 PM
70

This was painful to listen to. 👀 I’ve been fooled by all of these. But no more! Cliff notes: They will be disrespectful to see if you tolerate that. Confront them or leave them when they are disrespectful. Don’t play it cool like a fool. They will ignore you strategically to find out how much power they have over you. They will bark orders at you to see if they can dominate you. They invite you to their house, make you come to them. They’ll say something inappropriate/explicit to feel out your s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 09:46 PM
47

Yes. They’re like injured animals, lashing out at those within proximity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 07:56 PM
40

This is the truth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 07:55 PM
3

Mint is a great choice too! I switched from Mint to Personal Capital several years ago, just out of preference
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 07:07 PM
3

iPhone :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 06:53 PM
7

Personal Capital
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 06:52 PM
29

No man has ever really liked me then 😂 Which is cool, because they just take take take, take some more and leave you on read. I’m good. I’m lucky I treat myself like a queen. Everything she wants, she gets. Everything she wants to do, she does. 💅🏻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 06:50 PM
47

Just a conservative 401k. I’m not much of a risk taker, financially.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 06:25 PM
16

Thanks! Personal Capital
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 06:24 PM
138

Yes. She made a clown of of him after he tried to clown her. I am so inspired.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 06:07 PM
81

Yes. I was caught off guard last weekend and gave mine to someone. I am going to actually create an email address strictly for dating right now because I’d prefer that. Write to me, boys 👸💁🏻‍♀️ ETA: done!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 04:45 PM
15

The ONLY thing these creatures perceive themselves to have complete control of in their pathetic lives is their woman. They can’t control their unfulfilled sense of entitlement and they obviously can’t control themselves. I’ll be damned if they can’t control a woman that’s supposed to exist purely to serve! Women are most likely to be abused or killed by their domestic partner. Just remember that next time you’re on a date. You could be on a date with your future murderer. /has escaped domestic …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 03:01 PM
9

I dated six or seven guys last year. Slept with three of them. I am not bragging — they were ALL mistakes that I regret — I’m just saying FDS saved me from having more sex with future LVM. It’s not a place to lick my wounds because I can’t get sex. It is teaching me to honor myself and not hand it out freely anymore. I have been voluntarily celibate all of this year, and I’ve never felt more at peace. I have had the choice to sleep with yet more suitors this year, but they are now beneath my sta…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 02:48 PM
10

Award winning lies I’ve been told by the multiple LVM I dated last year alone: -the CIA is aggressively courting me. I may have to move to Washington DC. Don’t tell anyone -I’m inheriting $12m on my 27th birthday -I’m a multimillionaire 1%er -I donated thousands to [charity of activist I like] -I surf 25 foot waves -I’m a CEO (but you have no employees) -I’m a CEO (of your exes company — always background check, ladies) -I’m a CEO too (no you’re not) -I’m starting a business (no, you’re a con ar…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 02:43 PM
12

The horrors I have experienced living with two grown men (exhusband, ex husband’s brother) have given me the wisdom to never subject myself to living with a “man” again unless he is a demonstrated clean HVM unicorn. (He can be clean and low value so be careful). It was the messiest most horrifying home. Nothing I did could make it stay clean. Beer cans everywhere (alcoholics), smelly sticky trash everywhere, frozen food wrappers, candy wrappers, smelly laundry, leaving Laundry in the washer, fil…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 02:31 PM
46

What’s boss move to drop her album same day as Kanye’s too. It’s good. I love Taylor.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 02:25 PM
149

Wow, there is hope! I was not expecting those responses either. My favorite thing in LIFE is to drop a guy that tries to artificially inflate his value by playing these games. It feels incredible. Dick 👏🏻 Is 👏🏻 Abundant 👏🏻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 02:22 PM
46

LVM Bingo -is a gamer -messy house -splits the bill -“let’s see where things go” -“we need to find out if we’re sexually compatible first” -casually drops BDSM into convo or sex itself -crazy ex -drinks date -walk date -I can’t wear condoms -I just got tested -you’re on bc right? -I suck at texting lol -you don’t exist on his social media -triangulation with other girls/exes -doesn’t answer your texts for ridiculous stretches of time -goes MIA for a few days -love bombing immediately (you’re eve…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 02:11 PM
2

Right?? Didn’t even have the balls to directly say “I don’t want to go on the date tomorrow night anymore”. Instead, that milquetoast wish you well shit. After a joke she made. Gawd she dodged a bullet.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 01:22 PM
5

I think she meant are you paying for this sexy dress? And he was like “no way”. I admire the woman for standing up for herself. Men will take everything they can get away with. Expect you to look like a “10” (airbrushed, model perfect). Expect you to split the bill. To give them sex. Then they’ll ghost you. You have to get comfortable putting their entitled asses into place. Women have been socialized to be subservient to men, so we get flustered out of habit when they make these demands. But in…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 01:06 PM
3

No, I agree 100% with your reasons above, and I have more reasons, so perhaps I’m the jaded one! (Cooking, cleaning for everyone because I’ve never met a man that does those things. Probably getting cheated on and abused. Probably having to work because single income households aren’t realistic anymore. The father would probably be playing video games instead of being a present father, because they all do that these days. I could go on.) I feel exactly the same way and that is why I’m so stoked …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 12:55 PM
54

Cut through his bullshit and say “I won’t be tolerating your lack of accountability anymore.” However he responds to that should give you an idea of whether or not this relationship is worth it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 04:40 AM
8

He immediately moved out of state after I confronted him. I know exactly where he is, but I’m letting it go because he has nothing to lose and is obviously violent. I value my safety and peace of mind more than justice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 02:30 AM
8

That would be me!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 02:01 AM
167

If you are reading this, you are worth so much more than being in some overpaid tech bro’s rendition of a Craigslist ad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 01:36 AM
68

My new rule, since I plan on being celibate in this vast ocean of LVM anyway, is if I’m not on your social media, you’re not getting into my pants. I’ve been a secret more times than I can count, and it’s simply not happening again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/20 11:41 PM
13

Celibate for 7 months. More than thrilled to keep it that way until I meet a high value man. That may never happen, but why settle? I don’t settle for much in my life. I’m sure as hell not going to settle on a partner that I never needed to begin with.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/20 10:50 PM
26

When I was 15 my dad made me go to therapy for cutting class, etc. (he was extremely abusive and I was acting out). He was in the room with and old male therapist he made me see, and the male therapist was saying super condescendingly “look we know you’re sleeping with guys” (I was a virgin, only had a closed mouth kiss at this point). It was humiliating and gave me huge sexual hang ups. Lost my virginity at 20 to my ex h. Like... stop imagining my 15 year old body having sex you disgusting cree…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/20 09:51 PM
15

I’ve never felt more womanly and confident than when I recently stopped starving myself (110, 5’4”), obsessively exercising and weighing myself every day and began eating like a regular person and working out for fun when I wanted to. I’m taking up space baby. Looking like a malnourished 12 year old is so yesterday.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/20 08:30 PM
47

Immediate bye. Watch out for managing down your expectations. He’s seeing how little he can get away with investing. He’s maximizing ROI.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/20 07:58 PM
64

Gross. I dated a guy like that for two weeks. He was a charismatic unemployed surfer skater that lived in a van. My dad introduced us. He fooled us both. I tried to help him get a job and also start a business (which he said he was going to do). My reward? He verbally abused me, tried to control me, raped me and stole from me. And I’m 99% sure he had a heroin addiction. In addition to apparent alcoholism (he initially said he didn’t drink) and chronic weed smoking. Thanks to him I am on FDS and …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/20 07:27 PM
6

I turn off chat and direct messaging. It’s a great prophylactic for random Reddit abuse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/20 03:17 PM
26

This is art
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/20 03:15 PM
110

Ladies. You don’t have to subject yourselves to online dating. It’s not good for you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/20 03:14 PM
11

I don’t think it’s her job or business to get involved in their relationship. Men can be very dangerous when they feel threatened. If she ruins their relationship, he could come after her (safety, job, future relationship, reputation). Men do this all the time. I had this happen to me too (he had a secret long term relationship, they lived apart) and, you guessed it, he threatened the living daylights out of me. Years later, they’re still together. Not my problem. I’d rather not let him ruin my …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/20 02:21 PM
19

My advice? Do not go on dating apps. Focus on school 100%. If you happen to meet a guy during your time in school, great. Now is the time to build financial security for the rest of your life. Any quality man will notice your dedication to your studies and ask you out. Maybe he will find you in the library. Maybe he will get your number in class when he notices you asking a great question. He will not appreciate you for you on Tinder. Or Bumble. Or at a party.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/20 01:39 PM
15

Wow, I didn’t know Gabrielle Union was a mean girl. Everyone seemed to dislike her very much, and I didn’t know why. I always loved her on Being Mary Jane. No one’s ever heard of it 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/20 01:20 PM
27

This So glad I don’t have to raise children (childfree) or deal with dating anymore. Keep your mind games, abuse and porn sick sex. What the hell do they have to offer?!!! They’ve never given me anything but grief. But I know there are good guys out there. I know it. It’s just been MY EXPERIENCE. Hence FDS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/20 01:08 PM
85

Yessss! Googling = trying to rationalize your gut feelings away
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/20 02:48 AM
35

Nooo don’t do that. First, it looks like you want them or need them more than they need you. And we know that’s not the truth. Second, if you suggest the date, they will not be motivated to entice you with a nice date, and will low ball you with a walk or splitting the bill. Allow yourself to be courted. Afraid that will never happen? That’s your problem. Know in your BONES it’s their tragic loss if they don’t ask you out, because you’re the shit. Laugh because they don’t even know what they’re …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/20 02:45 AM
10

As if! /Cher
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/20 02:24 AM
19

First thing that came to mind was “can you help me pick up this [piece of furniture] from [place far away]”? If he comes up with excuses or suggestions (can’t they deliver it? What about your brother?) you know he ain’t it sis.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/20 01:54 AM
6

The whole time I was married to an LVM, I had a low paying job. I finally joined a temp agency after putting my resume on Monster and they called. I had an “I’ll do anything” kind of attitude, so they seemed eager to give me work, even at the temp agency itself. A couple months (and awful data entry positions in) I finally landed a position as a temp in the industry I’m now in. I worked hard and they hired me almost a year later. I now make 4x what I made 10 years ago. I support myself and humbl…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/20 01:46 AM
66

Read the handbook. Stop looking for a man Learn to be happy without one Maybe start dating again But with FDS boundaries and standards
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/20 11:21 PM
20

Yes! And also, if you’ve gone on a couple dates, ask them to do a big favor for you. I haven’t employed this one yet, but having dated men that wouldn’t do anything for me, whereas I would do so much for them, this seems like the kind of test I need to administer.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/20 11:15 PM
10

I don’t know how old you are but all I know is as I got older (I’m almost 32) I just fell in love with myself, flaws and all. I used to cry myself to sleep, hate myself for having scars from acne on my body. Then one day I started living life for ME and not for MEN and I realized they weren’t a big deal. Everyone has flaws, some more noticeable than others, and flaws are beautiful because it’s what separates us from the prison of perfection. Having a great sense of humor, knowing how to have fun…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/20 10:17 PM
40

Negging is sooooooo unattractive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/20 10:12 PM
17

It’s not your job to tell his girlfriend. Outing a shady dude could have lethal consequences, so it’s generally not worth it. I’ve been seriously threatened by a guy that was two-timing me, when I found out, that if I ever told her, or if she ever found out in any way, I have no idea the wrath that would rain down on me, or some shit. Basically threatened to ruin my life. No thanks! Keep living your life, I’d rather just forget you existed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/20 09:00 PM
14

When you haven’t dated much, there is a steep learning curve. I married my first boyfriend (who was my first sexual experience as well), and when he divorced me, the wolves descended upon me. I had nooooo idea what men were like. Or capable of. Yes, he played you. But it’s not the end of the world. We all got played at one point. That’s why we’re here. Basically, men are going to take what you are willing to give. Sometimes more. You have to go into dating like it is war, because more often than…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/20 06:04 PM
18

Right? If you have to brag about giving “waaaaay” more than you take, you are clearly keeping score and it doesn’t come from your true nature.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/20 05:57 PM
19

I’m almost 32 and I have a ton of disasters under my belt too. You have your youth on your side. If I feel like I still have my whole life ahead of me, you really have the world at your fingertips! I wish I had discovered FDS before I married my ex husband! And let man after man deceive, use and abuse me. When we say “read the handbook”, we are saying it because it’s going to shift your perception. Keep contributing to this sub regularly, take an honest break from dating, get off the apps, be mi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/20 05:30 PM
20

Can you explain why you have to keep living with him? Can you not afford to break the lease? It would be worth the money in the end. And a good lesson not to move in with boyfriends.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/20 02:41 PM
46

My last guy told me “you’re the most insecure person I’ve ever met”. Because I dumped him the morning after we got back from a road trip because he stole from me and I called him out on it. (Not to mention verbally abusing me regularly and raping me once during the trip) Insecure was the best he could come up with. I swear they all come from the same factory in China.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/20 02:35 PM
41

So you block deleted him? Nice. I block deleted a guy that approached me and asked for my number at the beach on Sunday. Come Tuesday morning, I thought to myself, I don’t want a guy that waits to text me (if he ever planned to). I don’t like the way this feels. Block delete.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/20 02:31 PM
91

I think you may be able to get an annulment. Don’t let your pride steal your dignity and youth. Divorce can be humiliating, but it’s short lived. Get. Out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/20 02:27 PM
58

I’m concerned about Kim and her children’s safety. He seems like the type to take everyone out and then kill himself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/20 02:23 PM
41

It’s astounding to me how consistently awful men are to women. Every post I read echoes my experiences. I used to internalize their mistreatment and think I was just undesirable and that there was something wrong with me (namely, I wasn’t perfect enough), but I’m starting to see that my heartbreaking experiences of being used and lied to were FAR from rare and that me wanting nothing to do with these creatures anymore is not a crazy decision. Not sleeping with men is turning out to be the key to…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/20 02:11 PM
26

Maybe it’s just me, but after 2 years, I was beyond comfortable with my first boyfriend (I was exactly your age 2 years in). I never thought about how my texts seemed and didn’t even think about initiation. But maybe that was just my experience. Typically I would say that if he’s pulling back, so should you (match his efforts). However, if you need to discuss a deeper issue in your communication, which it sounds like you may, then do not be too timid to broach the subject.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/20 04:43 AM
13

You can only control yourself, so I’d think long and hard about how important this is to you. Smokers seldom quit, and when they do, it’s not usually for good. I used to smoke cigarettes, and later began to vape 24/7 for a couple years, and nicorette gum allowed me to quit cold turkey. I don’t even chew the gum anymore after 3 months. But I WANTED to quit. People told me to quit for years. I never listened. If this is a dealbreaker, best to acknowledge it now than be irritated (and sexually unsa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/20 04:27 AM
29

Dump. Don’t waste your youth on this person. This is not the behavior of a man that values what he has and intends to honor it. Let him go chase filtered fantasies while you level up a few levels. (Leveling up is typically preceded by LVM audacity)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/20 04:19 AM
14

No surprise there. He was trying to lock you in. You’re the whole package and he knows it. Run like hell. I, too, have gotten VERY lucky. Terrifyingly so. Over and over again. So I just try not to take that for granted anymore and protect myself at all costs now. Luck runs out eventually.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/20 04:14 AM
10

The best closure is choosing not to ask for it it. Just go. You said yourself that you were already done with him. Change is scary. Divorce is scary. But you sound like you are ready to face those fears in exchange for a the better life you know you deserve.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/20 02:11 AM
25

Very well written. You had me on the edge of my seat! I’m really happy for you that you’ve gotten away from him. You clearly have a lot going for you, and will have an exponentially more rewarding future now that you’ve escaped this terrible relationship. I’ve been stolen from as a coup de grace by an ex too. Just think of it as them putting the final nail in their own coffin. My standards have been low my entire life (unbeknownst to me). Then I discovered FDS and it changed the direction of my …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/20 01:56 AM
21

Every time I’ve paid the bill or split the bill I’ve regretted it. Not because of the money (which I can afford), but because of the way they let me down later on. I’m now thinking, let them pay until you’re in a committed relationship. Make it expensive to date you, so you are a luxury! Don’t put yourself on sale.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 11:50 PM
38

Scary. The audacity to expect you to have to listen to his venting about seeking unethical/illegal revenge on an ex girlfriend that just got married and remain unbiased like a therapist that isn’t paid? What fucking planet does this idiot live on?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 08:27 PM
29

This is actually true. A guy I dated but never slept with admitted he was a porn/masturbation addict after we quit dating. He always wanted to do foreplay to the MAX but no sex (oral incl). He probably had the highest sex drive I’ve ever encountered, so I was like why not actual sex?? I was like, is he a virgin or something?? And then he told me about the porn. And still didn’t understand it caused issues but then learned about it on FDS. Thank you porn related ED for not letting me sleep with t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 08:00 PM
194

Depressingly true, that’s why I shall fuck none of them and be treated like a queen by all 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 07:54 PM
9

I would take a break from dating for now. Abusers and manipulators can sniff out vulnerability, and are attracted to it like vultures. I would read Why Does He Do That and heal until the void that is causing the attachment has been filled at a natural pace by things that bring you joy. Good luck
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 05:45 PM
3

This sounds quite good, then. Good for you. You seem to be doing everything right!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 05:41 PM
21

Yessss! You go girl!! I’m so excited for your major level up toward a better, more rewarding new life. I would get a a Ring camera of some sort if you don’t already have one. I have the peephole camera, which arrived like the next day and you simply pull out the peep hole and insert it. Easy as pie. Leaving is the most dangerous time for a woman, that’s the only reason why I say that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 03:54 PM
9

Yes be careful. Giving you gifts and a kitten can be a way of tying to you him inextricably. I, personally, think living creatures should never be given as a gift, especially by a man that is not your husband. Imagine this, would you have a hard time breaking up with him right now? Would any of the things he’s done for you/given to you be in the list of reasons why? Exactly. What is he gaining from this? Other than you. What perks do you offer him? Socially, financially, sexually? Just be carefu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 01:57 PM
9

Don’t be low maintenance! Set those standards high. Don’t tell them/try to change them when they don’t meet your standards. Simply move on in silence. High standards = LVM repellant.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 01:52 PM
12

When my LVM ex husband left me, I thought it was the worst thing to ever happen in my entire life. At 26 I moved out into my own apartment, because he lived in a disgusting, trash filled alcoholic man cave his parents owned with his alcoholic slob brother, rent free, and I couldn’t stand it anymore. I thought he would move in with me, but instead he walked out on me on my birthday. I was destroyed. That was five years ago. You wouldn’t recognize me today. I have a killer career making bank. Wher…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 01:48 PM
4

Yeah there are a TON in the handbook. I am reading Why Does He Do That now and it’s incredible.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 01:38 PM
43

I LOVE Whitney Cummings. I personally don’t call my exes crazy mainly because they were far worse. They were abusive, calculating predators. Deception, stealing, gaslighting, rape, all forms of abuse .... these are things that mostly require quite a bit of presence of mind. Why Does He Do That really covers how abusers have dual identities (public facade, abuser) so that they can not only trick the world into thinking they’re a fantastic mate you’re lucky to have, but so that you get seduced by …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 01:22 PM
28

“Meet up” is the one I encounter most often. Next time I see that, you’re getting left on read 👸🏻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 01:09 PM
101

I’ve been future faked so hard by the LVM I’ve gotten caught up with. Plans to marry Discussion of the ring Asking if I’d want to meet his parents Concrete plans to move in to a new place together Detailed plans for vacations we will do months ahead Basically any TALK of the future now makes my alarm bells go off. Stop telling me what you’ll do for me BIG picture and answer my texts/take me out on dates/bring me into your world Now I know what to pay attention to’
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 12:50 PM
6

Can’t wait to binge it later this week. Thx
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 12:46 PM
19

I avoid taking ubers or taxis because as a 16 year old I had a creepy driver talk sexually to me and offer to sell me hard drugs. Fortunately I was with my girlfriend, so we made it to our destination safely. I just try to avoid being alone in a car with a stranger. So yes your boyfriend sounds like a LVM because he obviously is not even remotely cognizant of this danger you face as a woman getting in the car with a stranger in the middle of the night. And aside from the danger, it’s just what y…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 02:17 AM
5

Agreed!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 02:13 AM
15

I am so proud of you. We are here for you. Please keep us updated and stay safe. Get a dog, buy a ring camera, live with a relative/roommate. These are all precautions I take. Wishing you the best, because that’s exactly what you deserve.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 02:11 AM
37

I love having a place where we all can up our standards and demand more from life. This is the best group of girlfriends I’ve ever been a part of. Because we have shared values!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 12:45 AM
4

Yes Queen. You will iron all the details out. The most valuable thing you have going for you is your grit. It will take you far. You are the architect of your future. You are so young, and you have your whole life ahead of you. Make it one you’re proud of ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 12:24 AM
6

I was with my ex husband for six years and never caught him ogling another woman once. There are men out there that don’t do that, show women respect and carry themselves with a little more composure. Being that you’re very young, just make it a point to not select a guy that ogles for your next beau.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 12:19 AM
13

How could you feel sorry for him? He’s wasting your life. Get out and reclaim your identity. I got divorced at 27, am now 32 and I feel like I’m living someone else’s life it’s so different and so unimaginably good, by comparison. My previous life was so sad, tethered to an LVM (alcoholic, video game addict, complete slob, selfish, addicted to everything). Set yourself free. Get out of the lease immediately. Break it early. Use credit cards to cushion the financial blow if necessary. If you stay…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 12:04 AM
3

Take it from me, I’ve been men-free all of 2020. I dated six guys in 2019 (two from dating app, rest from real life) so........ it’s been an incredible change. Like night and day, my life went from miserable hand wringing to fulfilling, peaceful happiness. I don’t even have to try. I work all week. Have shows I watch and books I read in the evening. I am always visiting family, going to the beach, skateboarding and biking on weekends. I’ve been pursuing my real estate license, which I’ll have ne…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/20 07:54 PM
38

I have decided, since I just gave a guy my number for the first time this year, I will simply not respond to messages I find uninspired. You don’t have to reply to everything! When he wastes your time with useless texts, let him stare at his own embarrassing low effort until he brings something better (or just goes away).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/20 07:35 PM
3

What an effeminate comment. I have thick curly ringlets, and I used to be ashamed but now I love my insane volume. It’s very sensual to have thick hair. Block his self awareness lacking ass stat
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/20 06:42 PM
2

Thank you for the reminder. I understand wanting to make exceptions for a guy you like, but you should never HAVE to for the right one!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/20 04:27 PM
7

Good for you. Just imagine the kind of abuse you’d be subjected to if you had married and had kids with this psychopath. He did you a huge favor. Slam the door, bolt it shut, disappear from his life forever, no questions conversations apologizes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/20 04:20 PM
7

I use a trimmer because I have sensitive skin, and shave the parts that don’t get aggravated. I proudly go to the beach every weekend with visible hair. I don’t even shave my underarms every weekend. I haven’t shaved my legs, underarms or bikini area for over a week and a guy asked for my number at the beach yesterday. You can likely glean whether a man is LV or not well prior to them knowing about your grooming habits, but showing ownership over YOUR body is a fantastic way to filter out the LV…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/20 02:17 PM
3

You can read about that in Why Does He Do That. A low value man that has nothing to offer will give you great sex and withhold it so that you are doing all the work and feeding their pathetic ego with the power trip they get to embark on. This is why we don’t sleep with low value men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/20 02:13 PM
6

Yep
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/20 02:07 PM
3

Speechless. She needs to know about FDS ASAP. It is my mission!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/20 01:55 PM
7

He actually... said that out loud? I -
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/20 01:41 PM
51

Are you really going to allow this man to subjugate you in your own home? He has turned you into his personal slave. This was triggering to read. The audacity. Whatever it involves, pull out the big guns. Men can be extremely dangerous when threatened, so if you have men in your life that can make him get out and afraid to come back, do so. Get him out of your house at all costs, and I’d suggest either getting a new roommate or moving to a location his is not aware of, because it sounds like he …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/20 01:36 PM
87

Today, I happened to be by myself at the beach. I’m usually with family. The dog belonging to a man my age came and laid down by me to enjoy the shade under my umbrella. We began to talk and the conversation flowed quite naturally. He asked for my number. I gave it to him. He texted me to give me his. I say I’m going to go in the water now, thus ending the conversation first. We say our goodbyes. I’m excited to use FDS for the first time to demonstrate high value in myself and filter out low val…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/20 12:55 AM
17

Verified Queen Shit. “What 👏🏻can 👏🏻you 👏🏻do 👏🏻for 👏🏻me?”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/20 02:59 PM
30

Why do women bother with dating apps? Who needs such a drain on their time and energy? And the disrespect! The objectification is not healthy, mentally. And for what? I remember back when online dating was completely taboo. Shameful. Can we go back?! 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/20 02:05 PM
6

Breaking up is a lot easier than divorce. This is not a high value man. Don’t do this to yourself. Break up with him. And if you ever feel bad about it.. think of it like you’re setting him free. It’s really beneficial all around.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/20 01:33 PM
4

This has been my 2020 vibe and I must say, it’s here to stay.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/20 01:28 PM
10

Everyone’s advice here is great. I would like to second that men live in black and white, and he is stringing you along because you’re letting him. That’s a crime I have been guilty of, so don’t beat yourself up Do move out ASAP. Don’t shit where you eat. You can never fully relax at home if you live with your fuckboy. In the meantime, I would immediately halt all unnecessary communication/apparent interest in him and tell him you met someone online if he asks why you’re acting different.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/20 01:22 PM
26

Queen J Lo droppin knowledge bombs. I never thought about that before, but it rings so true.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/20 01:06 PM
15

I boycott too. People think you’ve given up if you’re not on dating apps, as if it’s what anyone serious about settling down would be doing. Noooo thanksss. I’ve actually got a life and hobbies to fill my time and don’t need creepy strangers sending me creepy messages.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/20 01:03 PM
2

Girl, I’ve gone off the deep end more than a few times after being callously chewed up and spit out by toxic men. I’ve self harmed too. Still have one scar I see every day after one particular incident. Whatever you’re feeling right now? It’s not gonna last. You’re going to get over him. You’re going to feel confident again. But you must block him. Don’t be sneaky and try to pull a fast one by leaving the door open. You will only delay your progress. See that new therapist, let your wounds heal,…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/20 03:29 AM
56

Yep. I quit men in 2020 and I am just crushing life because I have so much energy and momentum. Highly recommend.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/20 02:31 AM
24

Promise rings are for little boys. squats down to LVM eye level What exactly are you promising with this ring, sweetie? Commitment? That should go without saying in a relationship. Lifetime commitment? That’s called marriage. Too broke to afford an engagement ring? Please, if you can’t afford an engagement ring, or you are simply unwilling to take that next step and get engaged, you have no place making serious claims on a woman. Promise rings seemingly intend to take a woman off the market (emo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/20 02:19 AM
15

Logic doesn’t enter into it. They just want to tell us what to do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/20 08:56 PM
17

Hahahahahaaa
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/20 08:45 PM
64

Because they don’t respect women and feel entitled to their bodies as if it were their birthright. I think they’ve gotten so comfortable being low value that they are just going to get worse (if that’s possible) and women are just going to nope out of there. Then the men will laughably feel shortchanged. Oh wait that’s happening now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/20 03:12 PM
5

This is why leveling up is a thing. You must level up to shed the skin of who you were and reveal your inner HVW. So many evil men have tried to break my spirit. I now wear my scars with pride. They only made me 10x stronger once I got back on my feet.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/20 02:22 PM
3

So, I work with a NVM guy I dated briefly. We sit right next to each other actually. It’s been over a year since his devalue/discard, and he’s still obsessively trying to Hoover because I’ve ice queened him out of my life. His endless declarations of remorse/me being the prize/how he’s going to change, etc have fallen on deaf ears, because I know better. He always tries to get my attention by interrupting my conversations with others, and I just act like we are mere acquaintances and like I inno…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/20 02:16 PM
3

Not only does completely ignoring someone deliver a “sick burn” most mortals are incapable of, but you don’t want someone to harm you or seek revenge on you because you negged them back. You gain nothing from a neg and everything, even the ever elusive respect from fuckboys, from giving zero response How do you do this in person? Easy. First of all, avoid being in their company. Men with threatened egos can be dangerous. If you must be in their presence, avoid eye contact with them. If they do t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/20 02:01 PM
5

Every year that goes by, I fall more in love with myself (where, previously, there was no love to be found). Secure, confident, happy, financially secure, independent women are a major threat to men, who need us desperately, so of course they try to sell “aging” as a bad thing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/20 01:50 PM
30

“Disrespect is the soil in which abuse grows. If a man puts you down or sneers at your opinions, if he is rude to you in front of other people, if he is cutting or sarcastic, he is communicating a lack of respect.” -Why Does He Do That by Lundy Bancroft Ladies, run from disrespect. Don’t try to earn it. A man that cannot respect others doesn’t respect himself and is dangerous. I’ve had my fair share of astonishingly disrespectful men, and I’m proud to say I’ve outgrown them. I think you surround…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/20 01:46 PM
18

It’s incredible how young women have been brainwashed to think that men are some prize to be won. Oh and once they get “chosen” they get to cook, clean, financially provide, be degraded in the bedroom like a porn star, raise children, and very likely be cheated on and abused if some sort. When he’s not occupied by video games and porn! It’s like waking up from the matrix. You can’t unsee the ridiculousness of this scenario once you are conscious of it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/20 01:30 PM
53

It’s sad that I can’t tell which posts are genuine or by men attempting to seek revenge on them by posting fake profiles. It’s almost as if they’re putting themselves down first so no one else can possibly put them down further? Sad
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/20 01:07 PM
86

Please do not fall for the lie that you have to be flawless to be loved. I wasted many years believing that. IT. IS. A. LIE. Seemingly perfect women are loved as beautiful cars are loved. As objects to be possessed. It is not a position to covet. Believe it or not, the right people will fall in love with your imperfections. I was a virgin and hadn’t been in a relationship until 20, and it’s literally no big deal. Nothing wrong with it. Men have the same experience. Just learned today about one o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/20 04:16 AM
90

Big agree. I used to get the pity back when my divorce was fresh, and it killed me more than the divorce itself! But 5 years later, I’m an entirely new person. New career. New home. New hobbies. New look. New health. New financial independence. New sense of self. New goals. New friends. New wisdom. New spunk. New confidence. New sense of humor. New kindness. New sensuality. No one can ever believe I used to be married. I lost all the heavy energy associated with trying and trying and failing to …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/20 02:14 AM
7

Good luck with that, Mark.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/20 12:30 AM
30

Follow your gut. Prune your garden of low value toxicity to make room for higher quality friendships. You don’t owe your time and energy to just anyone that wants it. You are the architect of your future.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/20 12:28 AM
33

I am seething from the audacity. Nice response.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/20 12:17 AM
29

I think because people don’t believe they can survive being on their own. They can’t afford the loneliness, the concept of starting over again, rent, bills, mortgage, healthcare, childcare, social ostracism, feeling of failure, humiliation... I’m divorced and it’s great, but I do believe this feeling of being trapped is what keeps a lot of people in marriages and relationships alike. They cannot see beyond what is. They cannot imagine life any other way than the prison in which they find themsel…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 08:40 PM
32

Block, delete. He’s a selfish, immature, game playing liar. Respect yourself and don’t be an option for him anymore.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 07:39 PM
55

A man posted that tinder profile. Probably an ex of some degree. No doubt. I venture to say the dude that posted that to reddit was probably the same dude. Her face should probably be blurred, since this is probably a revenge post.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 06:41 PM
17

This list is fantastic, and I upvoted it when I originally saw it. Triangulation (which is in the list above, in so many words) is a big one. Triangulation with how busy they are, with exes, with work, with friends, with addictions. It’s all a ploy to make you feel less worthy and work harder for them so that they can stop putting in the effort they once did which was never natural for them and impossible to maintain (not because of your lack of value, but because they are frauds pulling the bai…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 02:52 PM
13

Fuckboys do not dump you for being boring. They dump you because they cannot keep up the charade they’re running. Do not internalize their fraudulent escapades.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 02:40 PM
81

My divorce was the best thing to ever happen to me. My husband left me because I held him to a higher standard than he was comfortable with. I moved out into my own apartment because he wanted to live rent free with his alcoholic brother in a pig sty, land fill, horror show of a home mommy owned. Guess what ladies and gentlemen? He’s 35 and still lives there with his new wife. I will take ridicule over being a 31 year old divorcee any day if it means I no longer live in that hell. He was holding…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 02:18 PM
3

I don’t know enough to give you proper advice, but follow your gut. I’ve always paid my fair share or more with men only because a) I can afford everything I want on my own and b) I never want to feel indebted to them in any way. I’ve had a “wealthy” man I dated try to lease a penthouse with me because I have impeccable credit and his was shot (I always background check immediately now), and he could never lease it on his own. I obviously declined. You can never be too careful when it comes to y…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 02:06 PM
3

I LOVE Terror Jr. Major fan here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 01:49 PM
8

Sounds alright, just be careful and take inventory of what you have to offer him big picture, because some men invest a lot up front because they’re getting a better payoff. For example, access to your wealth were you to marry, living in your nice home for free/cheaply, sex, benefitting from your good credit. Keep us updated! ETA: it’s promising that you have had sex already and he’s keeping it up. Sounds like a man in love.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 01:44 PM
13

All true. I unintentionally did the field research for you, ladies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 02:43 AM
6

For me, I can fall in love with someone I wasn’t initially attracted to if their intellect, personality or charisma (typically a combination of the three) is incredible. Like... you could look like a toad, and I’d be into it if everything else clicked. I have the experience to back up this statement 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 02:39 AM
39

A man pressured into marriage will be the first to leave it. Careful what you wish for.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 02:33 AM
3

No. The younger one I met at work (heyoo over a year later we still sit right next to each other and he won’t stop asking me out declaring his bs love. Don’t date your coworkers ladies) and the other one I met through my dad. They simply do not present low value. That’s why heeding subtle (or blatant) red flags is important. I don’t like OLD and won’t touch it after one terribly abusive man I dated four a couple months off bumble. OLD makes me feel icky and I have enough going on in my life that…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 02:11 AM
13

If I ever date again, I’m legit going to give him an email address that’s new and not linked to anything 😂 No more “good morning”, “how’s your day”, annoying texts that distract you from living life and typically go nowhere. Short, easy, useless texts cannot exist in email format without looking ridiculous.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 02:08 AM
7

Well, the men I dated turned out to be man children after all, so I don’t know what to tell you. They weren’t much different than the others my age, save for a distinct brand of recklessness. They both pursued me with fervor, and I fell for each one, but they disappointed me when their considerable low value (lack of character and integrity, to say the least) showed soon thereafter. All men I’ve been with have disappointed me significantly and scarred me in some way, irrespective of their age, s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 01:59 AM
33

Yes yes yes. This is why I got sober two months ago. I didn’t drink much by myself but definitely drank in the presence of men I was dating, and I’m here to say I am back in the drivers seat of my body, emotions and texts!! My mood is now always consistent. No anxiety. No one night stands or texting exes. No nostalgia for narc exes. Just happiness. Drinking on dates is an official no-no for me. Something I used to always do, to my great detriment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 12:46 AM
36

I dated one and I’ll give you some clues: -no job (I think he sold drugs or something. Highly secretive about his wealth) -fat slob (I looked past it until I found out he was secretly a bitter redpill man 99% likely sharing my nudes online) -online world = life -mentions being part of 4chan -thousands of online friends -memes about manosphere -insincere saccharine Lovebombing You’re asking why I fell for him? I knew him since I was like 12. Had a huge crush on him back then. He would come over t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/20 10:03 PM
13

If you are comfortable taking the lead, and feel that you will get the kind of relationship you want by doing that, then go for it. This guy may not be pursuing you like a narcissist would, but I still think it benefits you both to let him pursue you to the degree at which he’s comfortable. Which would, at the very least, include reaching out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/20 09:44 PM
50

He wants you to do the work. You, as the woman, as the prize, don’t have to convey your interest by making the first texting move. That’s his job. It’s his job to initiate contact, whether it’s via text, dating app or carrier pigeon. Do yourself a favor and let him initiate each conversation. You won’t hurt his feelings. You’ll actually be increasing your value and mystique.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/20 09:34 PM
9

Forgive yourself. That is an important part of growth. You did not know better. Now you do. :) Most of us have gone through similar growing pains in our past.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/20 07:17 PM
32

I have a great sense of humor and this is not funny. This is abuse from a clown.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/20 06:41 PM
34

Never ever let a man talk to you like that. Do NOT engage him further. Simply disappear into the promised land of blockdelete.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/20 06:40 PM
7

Very true. The longer you are out of communication with them (and obviously not being physical with them), the faster they leave your system. At your young age, this is a good time to begin good habits, which include overriding your body’s chemicals to make smarter decisions. There will likely be many relationships you have to break off in the future, and all will require the severing of ties. It’s very hard. In fact, in my experience it got harder each time, because I was hoping they were final…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/20 02:54 PM
14

He’s going to be in town so let’s meet up? (Btw, “Meet up” and “hang out” = red flags) Sounds like you’re not a priority. If you were, he would be driving to you for a date he’d planned (time and place, so you could properly prepare/see if it fits your schedule). I’ve driven 2.5 hours ONE WAY in traffic just for work. Someone can easily accomplish that to see someone they’re interested in possibly beginning a life with.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/20 02:38 PM
2

You know what the consolation prize for finding your life partner at 20 and having a bunch of kids is? No time or freedom to discover your true self. Or, quite possibly, a husband that leaves you when you no longer fit the bill (happened to me. I met mine at 20). Or for a 27 year old literal stripper at the age of 68, after 50 years of marriage (happened to a family friend last month). Marriage is no guarantee. Please do not compare your life to the lives of others. I am occasionally guilty as w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/20 02:05 PM
82

I love supporting myself financially. I get to interact with colleagues daily, keep my brain sharp, improve my skills, live in a luxurious apartment, save for retirement, save in my savings, shop til I drop, watch what I want, eat what I like, do what I want, never have to have children, etc. Who needs older men! I dated two twenty somethings last year and they were delicious to behold. One six years younger, one two. I never thought I could fall in love with a younger man (growing up), but now,…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/20 01:48 PM
3

Never talk to him again. Block delete and stay safe. The only way to win is to disengage. I promise you. In my first post divorce situationship, I was used shamefully by a man, because I was naive and learning who I was again. I waited 2.5 years to date again after getting divorced, but was still vulnerable. You are likely vulnerable now, and need to not give these individuals (that are EVERYWHERE) access to your heart, mind and body.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/20 01:35 PM
3

Run like the wind
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/20 01:28 PM
6

I’m sorry you went through this. I’ve consciously unlearned trust. It has proven to be a dangerous liability. I’m still happy! Just a skeptical, grounded in reality sort of happy. Not the lovesick, idealistic, head in the clouds type. May we both one day meet a man worthy of our trust. ❤️❤️❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/20 01:06 AM
43

I used to wonder if my ex husband, someone I dedicated age 20-26 to, turned into Mr Wonderful for his current wife. I looked him up on Twitter the other day and lo and behold.... still addicted to video games... still living with his brother in the same land fill, I mean home, his parents own. Probably still an on again off again extreme alcoholic too, like he was our whole marriage. We are divorced because I couldn’t stand it there and got my own place, and he wasn’t man enough to move out with…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/20 12:22 AM
12

If a guy you’re just getting to know calls you 😍😍wifey😍😍 roll your eyes, block, delete. But yes, In my experience terms of endearment coming way way way too soon without commitment = false intimacy/love bombing from a narc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/20 12:11 AM
64

Myth #6 in Why Does He Do That. They CAN control themselves, they just consciously and deliberately push the limits of what they can get away with, and do a complete about face when authorities or someone else arrives.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/20 09:18 PM
23

“AM I WRONG?” Is she crazy?! She posted this on Dating Advice? She needs advice??? Some people are beyond help.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/20 09:13 PM
63

When douchecanoes use the term “females” in conversation, it just reeks of contempt for women. It’s an instant no for me. Instant.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/20 05:23 PM
41

Burnnn! Definitely remembering this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/20 03:28 PM
10

Can you tell us how he makes it complicated? What does he do to dissuade you?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/20 03:27 PM
11

Mixed signals = one way ticket to a situationship The choice is yours! “All aboard” or “nah” Next time I’m going to nah right up outta there. And block delete is essential because they WILL (I repeat WILL) try to talk you into a situationship with their paragraphs. LVM that mess with your head and waste your time write paragraphs. HVM aren’t writing paragraphs because they’re actually in your life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/20 02:55 PM
6

My apartment is amazing. I wouldn’t live in a man’s filth and trash ever again. Been there, done that. Sure, it’s not a house, but it’s all mine and maintenance does all the repairs and gardening. 😁
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/20 02:49 PM
8

Their reasoning doesn’t matter. They don’t respect you or your time. They are not avoidant, they’re just selfish and probably made plans with someone else and you were the backup. It felt sooooo good to cut it off last time a guy did that to me. He didn’t expect my response AT ALL. I was polite but very very clear that I don’t date men that cancel last minute, and he tried to turn it around on me like wow I’m so unreasonable. Ha. Byeee. Dating is a choice and don’t choose you boo.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/20 02:41 PM
33

-telling me what to do/how to behave/what to think. I’ve had more than my fair share of controlling men. -drugs -Mention of kink/fetishes/bdsm -asking for nudes -talking about sex too soon -negging -Last minute cancellations of plans (no second chances. Been burned too many times doing that) -Telling me what I should look like (you should dye your hair/wear less makeup/straighten your hair/gain weight etc) -male chauvinism/hating on women/TRPesque comments Just a few off the top. ETA: the use of…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/20 02:23 AM
46

Post about him on here. I journaled, posted on reddit, talked to my family, poured my feelings into passionate athletics, changed the music I was listening to, selected shows that lifted me up, read powerful books, got really into bettering myself, etc. Admonishing them or trying to get them to understand, apologize or change never, ever made me feel better. I was angry at myself for letting them abuse me. That was the true source of my anger. I let them do it. Dating those men was self harm, re…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/20 01:56 AM
18

Good for you, sis. I’m free too. I know how you feel. Being in contact with toxic men (narcissists, NVM) is like being poisoned in your food every day. You think, “but I will starve if I don’t eat their food! Being sick is better than starving!” Then one day you get so sick that you almost die. You run away, focus on your health and learn to nourish your body in myriad other ways. You never needed their poison food. They just made you feel like it was the only food on earth, and that “it wasn’t …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/20 01:49 AM
24

If you block delete him now (NO paragraphs, no explanation, no final goodbye) you will be vibing on queen energy, and that energy will radiate from your being and create a chain reaction of making even more queen moves. Choose your fate: Leave the door open and let him manage down your expectations? (Waiting 5 days for a text will certainly turn into waiting a week, two weeks, then you will be the one texting him, stroking his ego as an available backup plan) Or Slam it shut and teach him the ve…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/20 01:36 AM
3

I’m getting bad vibes from this dude. I wouldn’t trust him, but that is just my gut check. Sounds like he’s been managing down your expectations from the get go between “just looking for fun” and “don’t “expect” (🙄) me to get down on one knee anytime soon”. How disrespectful. As if a marriage proposal to you is a proposterous concept.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/20 01:23 AM
12

I used to think marriage was forever. When my LV husband, who was my first boyfriend, divorced me after six years together, I realized that marriage means different things for different people. He put no effort in. He was a video game playing, weed smoking, wall-punching, alcoholic, no rent paying (lived at a home his parents owned with his brother), mom can I get a tattoo for my birthday (in his 30s), parents paid for everything, extremely possessive to the point I couldn’t mention male coworke…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/20 02:29 PM
13

Like most of the other commenters, I am doing this to improve my life as a whole. I will be honoring myself on a whole new level, putting up with less BS and manipulation, holding space for higher quality relationships. I, too, felt that HVM are a myth that doesn’t exist, or at least exists in such a small fraction of a percentage that I’ll never be courted by one in my own romantic life. I am pleased that I was clearly not alone in my thinking. My primary focus is my safety. I’ve been through s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/20 02:08 PM
9

Umm.... this is my new bible. Like fr fr This is legendary. Copied it and pasted it in notes in my phone. It’s that good. Thank you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/20 03:51 AM
126

He was testing the waters. He was floating Netflix and chill by you, and then telling you he wasn’t. That’s called gaslighting. I don’t think a conversation like that is appropriate to have with a man you haven’t met, hasn’t asked you on a date, etc. It’s presumptuous. Follow your instincts. Trust them. Thank them!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/20 12:43 AM
73

I know you are feeling broken and disempowered right now. Let me tell you a story. I currently work with a guy I went on two dates with. After lovebombing me, which even included meeting his mother, we hooked up. No sex just heavy making out. The next morning he then ended things in the rudest way possible. I felt so betrayed, humiliated and angry with him, that I wasn’t sure how we could continue to work together. I vowed to get my revenge in a calm classy manner. I steeled myself. Focused on w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/20 12:27 AM
12

I’m so glad to be free from the glittery cool girl allure of BDSM. I can’t believe I went my whole life not understanding that BDSM is not healthy, normal, safe or cool. It’s not woke. It’s not sexually liberating. I was so brainwashed. Never again! 👸
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/20 07:49 PM
8

It is not in your best interest to pursue a man. Stop going to that restaurant for a couple months. See if he notices. In my experience, men at restaurants, gyms, etc will ALWAYS zero in on you and lament your absence, if they noticed. Remember, you are the prize. Men are hunters. Let them hunt. Do not play dead before them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/20 02:25 PM
6

I hate the played out fishing photos. As an empath I hate seeing living creatures suffering, and then these empathy lacking imbeciles think such photos will get them ass. Fish photo = hard pass, every time. (Not that I am into OLD, but when tried it for a day or so in the past).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/20 02:16 PM
7

Time. Works like a charm.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/20 02:12 PM
2

Now that I know all of their “intimacy” never meant anything, I no longer crave it. Now that I know I was just an object to be used and thrown away, I no longer desire to engage. I was prey. I don’t want to be prey. I find comfort in the beach, the sun, my extremely comfortable bed/bedroom, skincare routines... harmless physical pleasures that cannot harm me. I’ve learned that I value my safety and happiness more than my carnal instincts. We can satisfy ourselves 😉
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/20 02:06 PM
11

It’s like they’re evaluating us like horses or dogs. “Such a glossy coat!” Always objectifying us. We go to the beach for some therapeutic fun in the sun yet the male gaze must remind us that we are always being evaluated by them. As if they are in a position to be evaluating anything.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/20 01:58 PM
23

So glad I support myself, have my own home, car, career, savings, retirement plan AND never want kids. I am free from needing them in any way shape or form.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/20 07:35 PM
2

What a queen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/20 07:26 PM
25

One of the many reasons I’m childfree. This world is dangerous, and only getting worse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/20 07:15 PM
14

Yeah you just KNOW when they start to pull away, and chasing them has always led me down a path I’d regretted. Every single time. I have never chased a man into a relationship. You can’t. And who would want that?! I am so excited to never chase a man again, NOT because I want to play games, but because I only want someone that deserves me. Someone that feels like I am the answer to their prayers. I’m more than willing to wait until I die than chase another NVM again. We are worth so much more!! …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/20 06:58 PM
3

I remember briefly dating a guy who had a bunch of online friends, and naively sending him somewhat modest nudes because we were “in love” (Long story.. yes I know, never send nudes. Never have since and will not)One of his friends wanted to be friends with me on Facebook. Lots of his friends were showing up as suggestions for me which I thought was odd. He said don’t accept, he talks to girls just to get nudes from them and shares them in a group that trades nudes. My stomach dropped because I …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/20 02:23 PM
1

No. I just want to move on with my life. I know exactly where he is now and his full name, but you don’t mess with people that have nothing to lose. And he is one of those people. Besides, he is likely dangerous. He’s made a casual reference to a certain prison gang. I have fully learned this lesson. No broke dudes. No jobless dudes. No homeless dudes. I mean, what was I thinking. But he even had both my parents fooled. He was an attractive surfer, skater dude that could directly lie to your fac…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/20 01:12 PM
5

I have basically only dated narcissists except for my ex husband, so believe me when I tell you that once you cut off communication, the fog will lift. I know you feel crazy right now. That’s the fog. Fear, obligation, guilt. Natasha Adamo writes excellent articles on these types. PostMaleSyndrome is her blog. Dating a narcissist is like ingesting poison every day. You cannot get better if they are still in communication with you. Cut him out and find your strength here with us. Stay single for …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/20 08:39 PM
15

Absolutely. During quarantine I have: -cut 7 inches off my hair -taught myself how to blow my hair out with a round brush (this should be taught in school. It’s life changing!!) -purchased luxurious new bedding and lamps from Ballard Designs, down pillows, and percale sheets for my bedroom, so that my bed feels like a 5 star hotel -began a daily mask routine. Started with Banish Pumpkin Enzyme. Loved it so much I purchased a set of 6 masks from PTR for 75% off. Pamper yourself, queen. -purchased…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/20 02:58 PM
63

No way. I hate stories about boyfriends abusing their girlfriend’s children. Strangers don’t belong in the home of single mothers with children. They have a responsibility to protect them from harm. It’s the highest level of betrayal. Makes my blood boil.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/20 02:01 AM
12

She did! See her comment above :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/20 01:56 AM
107

Wow you actually did it?!! That’s beyond boss. He sexually harassed you with his dick, and you gave him some real consequences. Something men like this see so little of, they harass and abuse is with smug impunity. BRAVO sis
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/20 01:55 AM
9

Oof. I hope you and your child are okay now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 11:54 PM
11

That’s awful. So he really never showed up? Did you eventually tell him it was for his surprise birthday party? That’s wild.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 11:51 PM
8

Nothing better than when their power over you has faded. Like when I bumped into an ex in person a couple weeks ago. He told me I looked great and asked me to hang out with him that weekend. I politely declined, and he even got the door for me. Zero drama. Granted, he has been pursuing me for over a year since we broke up, but the last two times I’ve declined flat out, instead of entertaining any conversation with him. The way it feels once you’re no longer under their spell is so freeing that I…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 09:56 PM
50

I feel violated just reading that. Damn... the thing is, he can blackmail her to stay in the relationship with that sort of footage. Even if it’s illegal. Men love their threats. Been on the receiving end of some doozies. I hope she finds her way to our fine little sub.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 09:51 PM
79

I’ll join in with my worst broke dude cringe story... Met a guy through my dad. No stable job... no home that I was aware of.. surfer that lived in a van. We would skate together. He seemed nice and kind. He made me art. Came over for dinner to my parents house (not my house) because my parents wanted to help him too with odd jobs. I tried to give him ideas for getting his business off the ground.. he said his dad didn’t want him in his shop until he “gets legit” (red flag #47). So.. we begin go…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 07:03 PM
4

I am reading it right now too! Just finished chapter 1. I’ll gladly join. Someone recommended this book on this sub and I am excited for more recommendations that we can share with one another. I’d be down for zoom! Maybe it can be hosted on the forum to provide a better sense of security.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 06:51 PM
3

I think key players are porn and the music industry. It’s an insidious cancer of our culture, communicating to men that women are sex objects they should use and degrade. And brag about doing so. To your point, every man I’ve been involved with has been abusive in some or several ways. Physically, sexually, financially, controlling/jealous, mentally, emotionally. Each time I went into it thinking I’d finally met a good guy to make up for the rest of the crap I’d been through. Each time I was so …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 05:09 PM
3

Me too. I’ve been of the childfree mindset for years now, and it’s mainly what has set me free from the need for a partner. I make my own money and can fully support myself (and my mother). I do not want children. I don’t care to be married again. I have a full, amazing life and a great career. Like.... what do I need a man for? More abuse? Hard pass babes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 02:26 PM
2

I’ve been binging (first time watching) for the past few weeks. Blair is everything.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 02:14 PM
5

One of the first things I highlighted in the book I’m reading “Why Does He Do That” is, paraphrased, angry and controlling men will try to tell you what you should think, and try to get you to doubt or devalue your own beliefs. I’m actually excited for the next 🤡 that tries to control and devalue me. I’m going to block delete. No more paragraphs. I remember the last time I ended things with a guy for cancelling last minute on our second date, and he tried to tell me how he can’t believe how inse…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 02:04 PM
20

This is really affirming, after being a cool girl for too long and feeling shortchanged and ashamed of my past behavior.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 01:54 PM
11

Thank you for sharing this. My unsavory past sexual experiences are suddenly making sense. I am so glad I’ll never let a man dishonor me like that again
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 01:43 PM
4

I feel exactly the same way. I quit dating on January 2nd and I’ve never been happier, more calm and stress free, focused on others (family, etc)... I just got my code and am basically over the moon. I finally found my woman tribe. I used to lament not having a “girl group”. This is better by far than a group of women you’re friends with because what you have in common is you’re all getting married/pregnant/raising kids. Three things I don’t plan on doing, at least in the foreseeable future. Our…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 01:45 PM
17

If you ever need someone to talk to, I’m 31, divorced and my mom lives with me. My divorce almost broke me 5 years ago but I’m living my best life and can’t even imagine if I were still married to him. Your life will blossom, you will become infinitely stronger and more dynamic, and miracles beyond your wildest dreams will happen to you. :) (But yeah shitty NVM abound, so don’t trust anyone until they’ve proven they can be trusted.. Every guy I’ve dated has gotten worse and worse unfortunately)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 01:35 AM
1

Yep. I abandoned dating (err being used, sexually/mentally abused, deceived, gaslit, stolen from) on Jan 2nd and life has never been this amazing. Like, I’ve just discovered the secret to being happy. All I had to do was put an electric fence around my body, heart and mind when it came to men. I haven’t completely closed myself off to love, but I absolutely do not feel like if only I had a man, my life would be complete. I’ve been married, dated around and they have all dragged me down into the …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/20 01:53 PM
8

I still think real women will always be their primary target. Free of charge, they present the thrill of the chase, cook, clean, pay half the rent, raise children, provide them with the “husband” title that allows them to get raises and promotions.. Only women, not robots, can be dominated and humiliated, manipulated and deceived. Only women can be screen shotted and laughed about on reddit. Only women can be passed around incoherent at a party for pure evil pleasure. The pleasure is derived fro…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 07:50 PM
2

I made the mistake of taking a road trip with a guy I had been dating for a short time. Thought it was ok because he was a friend of the family, met him through my dad and he and my dad would spend time together, he’d had dinner at our house etc. he was a completely gentle kind thoughtful person up until this point. Gave me hand made gifts, etc On the road trip he insisted on driving my car (“the man should drive. I don’t want to die”), began saying with regularity “I can’t believe your dad let …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 03:07 PM
2

I already requested on the website to verify my reddit acct. I haven’t heard back and it’s been about 4 days.. I don’t like to put photos of myself on social media (I know... rare these days) but I will today to my insta with a sheet of paper saying FDS to show you it’s me! :) then I will re request on the website.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 10:33 PM
2

I really hope women are thinking this way about my exes. It would make me feel like I wasn’t the only one that fell for it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 10:12 PM
1

Thank you so much for this comment. This part especially resonated with me “ It’s good you’re learning about the true nature of men. It took me years of degrading myself and making myself pliable so that I could please men, but bottom line, it doesn’t work.” because I feel so much shame for taking so long to learn the painful, downright risky and dangerous lessons I’ve had to learn about men but today I told myself, it took me so long to learn because I kept trying to believe in men. I wanted th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 10:08 PM
3

Careful with this one. Men will, unfortunately, say anything.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 09:45 PM
35

The men that have choked me during sex/foreplay have turned out to be the most horrific, abusive human beings on the planet. I have feared for my life while being strangled during sex, and I will never, ever, ever let a man put his hands on me like that again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 03:26 PM
1

I have been though so much trauma with men that I had to journal at 5:30am about it this morning. Cataloguing what I’ve been through, common denominators, things I’ll never tolerate again, etc. I quit dating on Jan 2nd and my life has been so carefree and happy. I’ve leveled up in innumerable ways, and I am just going to keep it up. At the beginning of the year I said I’d quit dating for a year, however after discovering FDS, I’m seeing my experience was far from unusual and that I may hold on t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 03:16 PM
1

Still waiting for my code. It’s been several days and I did request a code the correct way on the site as suggested. Hoping I make the cut :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 01:12 AM
4

“You can take a hike” 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 12:08 AM
2

When I found out a guy I was seeing/sleeping with had a serious long term partner, he threatened me very very very seriously (you have no idea the wrath that would come down on you, etc) I unfortunately was never able to tell his girlfriend. He said if she ever found out, directly or indirectly, he would make my life a living hell. (Gun owner too). Sometimes you just can’t say anything if you want to not fear for your life/job/reputation. He also has my nudes. Yeah never sending nudes again. Dum…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/20 11:27 PM
3

Oh my god. He sees her as his personal sex slave. Gross. I really hope she never contacts him again, but the fact that she’s asking for advice about it leads me to think they’ll stay “together” (master and slave).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/20 02:02 PM
1

Same. I quit dating on January 2nd, have not entertained a man’s company since, and have never been happier. Ran into an ex last week, whom I’ve had blocked and continues to attempt to reach out to me via my work phone/email, and declined his outrageous invitation for us to do coke together that weekend🤮. I coolly said I’ve never done coke nor do ever I intend to. Let him get the door for me and walked away. The men I have had the misfortune of dating over the past several years have astonishing…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/20 02:55 PM
1

same. DMed for the code. Read the handbook.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/20 02:29 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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