TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

penelopekitty Archive

View 46 posts and 1,483 comments by penelopekitty on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
1823

REMINDER 👑penelopekitty/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 01:40 PM
1144

RANTpenelopekitty/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 12:46 PM
794

THE AUDACITY OF SCROTESpenelopekitty/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/21 12:06 PM
789

LIES MEN TELLpenelopekitty/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/20 05:13 PM
667

NOTHING BUT FACTSpenelopekitty/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/20 11:58 AM
542

STRATEGYpenelopekitty/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/20 04:16 PM
513

DISCUSSIONpenelopekitty/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/21 04:32 PM
501

MINDSET SHIFTpenelopekitty/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/21 05:54 PM
483

STRATEGYpenelopekitty/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/21 01:27 PM
437

SCROTATION REPORT penelopekitty/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 06:25 PM
390

RANTpenelopekitty/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 02:48 PM
381

QUEEN SUPREMEpenelopekitty/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/20 01:35 PM
270

SOCIAL GROUP STRATEGYpenelopekitty/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 02:20 PM
243

DISCUSSIONpenelopekitty/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 11:33 AM
223

 THE SCROTATIONpenelopekitty/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/20 04:18 PM
216

DISCUSSIONpenelopekitty/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 02:22 PM
186

FIELD REPORT penelopekitty/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/20 01:28 PM
151

LEVEL UPpenelopekitty/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/20 12:08 PM
149

RANTpenelopekitty/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 05:24 PM
146

DISCUSSIONpenelopekitty/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/20 07:14 PM
114

DISCUSSIONpenelopekitty/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 12:44 PM
109

DISCUSSIONpenelopekitty/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/19 10:45 PM
103

 THE SCROTATIONpenelopekitty/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/20 09:40 PM
98

MESSAGE FOR MALE LURKERSpenelopekitty/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/20 12:31 PM
92

THE AUDACITY OF SCROTESpenelopekitty/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/21 06:03 PM
82

ROAST-A-SCROTEpenelopekitty/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/20 10:54 AM
81

ROAST-A-SCROTEpenelopekitty/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 06:13 PM
77

FDS HUMORpenelopekitty/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/20 03:19 PM
61

ROAST-A-SCROTEpenelopekitty/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 05:46 PM
60

DISCUSSIONpenelopekitty/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 11:56 AM
47

DISCUSSIONpenelopekitty/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/20 04:32 PM
46

ROAST-A-SCROTEpenelopekitty/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/20 05:36 PM
46

DISCUSSIONpenelopekitty/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/20 01:19 AM
43

DISCUSSIONpenelopekitty/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/20 11:56 AM
40

 THE SCROTATIONpenelopekitty/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/19 02:37 PM
30

FDS MOVIES & TVpenelopekitty/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/20 04:41 PM
30

DISCUSSIONpenelopekitty/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/20 12:55 AM
26

FINE AF FRIDAYSpenelopekitty/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 04:55 PM
20

FDS MOVIES & TVpenelopekitty/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/20 11:54 AM
17

FDS HUMORpenelopekitty/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 12:04 PM
2

MALE DEPRAVITYpenelopekitty/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/21 02:35 PM
1

CULTURAL MISOGYNYpenelopekitty/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/20 12:28 PM
1

ROAST-A-SCROTEpenelopekitty/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/20 12:19 PM
1

FDS HUMORpenelopekitty/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/20 12:37 PM
1

How-To High Valuepenelopekitty/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 10:58 AM
1

Muh PENISpenelopekitty/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 12:08 PM
Showing the 1,000 most recent of 1,483 comments.
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
21

Can you explain the title please and why Radfems are being lumped in with femcels and WGTOW and being called defeatist?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/21 05:44 PM
2

I take a completely passive approach OLD. I use Hinge and let them come to me. I do not like their pictures or message first. If someone approaches me and I like their profile I will match with them. Then I see what their opening message is. If they've put a decent amount of thought into it I will message back and engage. Still haven't met a HVM but it does weed out the low effort men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 05:33 PM
27

I don't know what the study says but it is true that too many women don't even know they're having bad sex. That doesn't mean you need to sleep around but you should have a point of comparison.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 12:02 PM
28

Yes, I agree with your assessment. At this point I have no idea where the normal men are or if any even exist.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/21 08:00 PM
17

Excellent tip
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/21 07:31 PM
18

I'm just outside the city and none of the groups I belong to require you to pay to RSVP. Mine are primarily hiking, kayaking and other outdoor activities. There are a lot to choose from and multiple events going on every day.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/21 06:58 PM
27

I found the same. Almost without exception the women have been very welcoming. I've noticed that even when shy women show up they make an effort to draw them out and include them in conversation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/21 06:04 PM
54

Sounds dodgy AF.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/21 04:58 PM
40

I used to live in a mid sized city in a different part of the country. Meetup was completely dead, even pre COVID. I've since moved to the NYC area and there are a ton of different groups that meet regularly and are well attended. I agree that it isn't always a good idea to mix a beloved hobby or interest with dating. If things go wrong, which they often do, it can ruin your enjoyment of that activity or group at best, or worst case scenario even make things dangerous. This is why in some ways O…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/21 04:58 PM
125

It's not encouraging in terms of meeting men, but it's a great way to make more female friends. I've met a lot of interesting HVW.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/21 02:28 PM
51

Liberal feminism lacks critical analysis of how women are discriminated against based on their sex and how gendered stereotypes and expectations harm us. It really isn't feminism at all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/21 12:43 PM
6

Come to orgasm = come jizz = cum It's a pet peeve.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 11:41 AM
10

She's angled in a way that her breast are front and center. It looks very posed and intentional to me. Also the drag queen makeup. Just sayin'.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/21 11:50 AM
3

Agree with you 100%.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/21 11:48 AM
18

I'm of average height, but I walk into a room like I own it. One guy I dated told me I "strutted" around the gym. Damn straight I do. I don't think men find confidence sexy, but it does repel the weaker scrotes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/21 11:42 AM
16

Good point.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/21 10:03 PM
218

My mother has a friend who is 86, her 60+ year old alcoholic unemployed son lives with her. She still cooks and cleans for him. He doesn't even take out the garbage, he lets her do it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/21 04:00 PM
18

It seems weird that he would reveal all of this to you before even meeting. Most people have a health issue or two. It may or may not affect their ability to do certain activities, but disclosing them to a stranger on the internet is just weird. I once matched with a guy who when I asked how he was spending his evening, probably our second message, told me he was preparing for a colonoscopy. It was bizarre and with the way men are these days it made me think he might have a scat fetish. My gut t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/21 03:56 PM
78

Classic example of financial abuse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/21 01:02 PM
1

Wow
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/21 11:07 AM
24

My ideal man is 6'4"+, black, handsome face, muscular and with a big dick. I have dated quite a few men like that. I've also dated men who look nothing like that. Never did I ever criticize the short, pasty skinned, flabby, uggos with small dicks on their appearance. It's in poor taste. ;)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/21 03:53 PM
88

We are very far from equality.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/21 11:31 AM
42

Quick google search came up with this. Oh dear...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/21 06:23 PM
144

OMG. This is one of the worst things I've ever heard. This guy wins the prize for king of hobosexual audacity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/21 12:21 PM
115

No evidence but my gut tells me she isn't genuine. I'm not saying her advice is bad, Derrick Jackson gave great advice too. I just don't think she is who she says she is. If she was actually part of upper class European society I highly doubt she would be doing YouTube videos. She's sus in my opinion.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/21 12:17 PM
12

Amen
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/21 05:32 PM
15

I'm in my 50s. Yes, there can be quite a bit of ageism on here but don't let that stop you from speaking up. We need more mature voices.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/21 10:06 PM
1

Right. I didn't say to have unprotected sex, just that a condom will not protect you from HPV. It may help prevent others STIs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/21 04:44 PM
22

HPV can be transmitted even if you use a condom. All that is required is skin to skin contact, not penetration. Also, more than 80% of sexually active adults either have or have had some strain of HPV. According to a gynecologist I know most of the time our bodies clear the virus on it's own, but not always which is why it is important to get an annual Pap if you're sexually active. There are also many different strains and the vaccine does not protect against all of them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/21 12:13 PM
24

48 hours tops.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/21 12:06 PM
12

Sadly, I can't disagree. The current state of feminism (libfems) is setting us back decades. Actual feminists (second wave/radfems) are few and far between and too many women are afraid to call themselves one or don't actually understand what it means. They've fallen for the smear campaign against us or equate us with the most extreme fringes. I've personally lost hope but would be happy to be wrong. I honestly think the future is going to look like a different version of The Handmaids Tale. We …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/21 10:04 AM
18

I tried to read this but it is a giant word salad with a double serving of queer theory dressing. When gay people fought for equal rights and the ability to marry part of the basis of their argument was that sexual orientation was innate and not a choice or a lifestyle. Most gay people still believe this to be true. Most of the women here on FDS are heterosexual, this is not something we can change, it is our sexual orientation. Because of this we have the terrible problem of being sexually attr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/21 02:07 PM
72

They don't need therapy. When they say things like this it's an attempt to invoke pity through manipulation. They know exactly what they're doing. Their intent is to make you suffer. They are not suffering. It's all lies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/21 01:39 PM
11

They do it to get you to have sex with them. Period.
/r/askFDS02/07/21 02:13 PM
155

If a man ever criticizes my physical appearance in any way we are done. Automatic deal breaker. You know what? The last scrote that tried that was my high school boyfriend back in 1986. Never happened again, they know better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/21 11:16 AM
31

Wrong again. People these days are working until their late 60s and early 70s. Elderly is generally 75 and up and then only if you're not in great health.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/21 09:04 PM
35

I have two male chihuahuas they are chill and disproportionately well endowed for such little guys. Don't insult the chihuahuas by comparing them to men with small dick energy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/21 07:23 PM
76

Um, no. 50 is not elderly. I am 53 and far from elderly. Lol We used to call what this man is doing a mid life crisis. It's a behavior as old as the hills.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/21 07:11 PM
11

The Roommates are a pathetic joke. They may not promote themselves as such but they are Redpiller MRAs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/21 12:05 PM
11

Um, I'd bet money this person is not female. Sounds like a fantasy enjoyed by a certain demographic we are unable to name on Peddit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/21 12:20 PM
5

That's exactly what it is and it reveals their ignorance as well. I've been fighting for women's rights since the 80s and this is the thanks we get? One day they will get it and then they will reinvent the wheel and claim it's a "new wave" of feminism. I'm beyond tired of this bullshit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 08:50 PM
2

Absolute nonsense.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 06:59 PM
8

Yeah, this post is offsides. Not cool at all. I'm GenX and nothing in the OP jives with anything me or my peers have done or said. Kind of sucks when younger women are trying to blame older women without any real knowledge, experience or context.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 06:58 PM
4

How exactly did second wave feminism hurt women? I think you are confused or misinformed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 06:42 PM
7

I'm a GenX and this is off base. There are pickmes in every generation. Never miss a chance to take a pot shot at older women. Shame. On. You.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 06:39 PM
13

53 can confirm.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 01:31 PM
143

It's been around for a while. They have been trying to attach themselves to LGBT and have been seen wearing MAP badges at Pride celebrations over the past few years. Twitter is full of them I'm sure Peddit is too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 06:22 PM
6

This is true. I've been divorced and on my own for 10 years. I do everything myself, including household repairs as long as I have the tools. Most of it is very easy and YouTube is a treasure trove of tips and how to videos.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 12:06 PM
11

Well I guess those actionable lessons aren't doing much good as Turkey has a particularly bad problem with domestic violence against women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/21 06:55 PM
31

There are quite a few examples of HVM in fiction, in real life not so much.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/21 01:55 PM
16

Never explain - just block and delete.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/21 12:47 PM
27

I guess I'm a skeptic but this seems highly unlikely to me unless you are in India? The death rate in much of the rest of the world has plummeted. I think this guy is bread crumbing you with a massive dose of pity ploy thrown in for good measure and his own amusement. Block and delete.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/21 12:10 PM
14

IDK. What he did was really cruel and unnecessary. 18 is not 13, he should know better by now. There is no excuse for treating someone like he did. I know this is difficult to hear because he is your brother but it is highly unlikely he will change. Too many times women think the men in their family are "good men" because they only know them in a certain context. The way he is in a dating or relationship context is often very different and a truer reflection of his actual character. There is a n…
/r/askFDS19/06/21 01:37 PM
1

Rescue is the way to go.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/21 01:20 PM
8

Too late. This is who he is.
/r/askFDS18/06/21 07:08 PM
11

100% correct. Aren't we all being preyed upon to some extent? They observe your particular vulnerability, at any age, and then exploit it. Men never change.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/21 02:00 PM
102

This is why I say there is no such thing as a green flag, only red ones. We need to stop labeling baseline decent behavior as a green flag.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/21 11:15 AM
40

Just because SOME radical feminists say that does not mean it is a defining characteristic of radical feminism. Radical (meaning root in this context - not extreme) feminism is very simply acknowledging that the basis (or root) of women's oppression is our biology, our actual or perceived reproductive capacity. Gender, or socially compelled femininity, is the means of our oppression.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 07:35 PM
35

Before criticizing something you should have a better understanding of what it is. Radical feminism is not about separatism although there may be a small group of rad fems who advocate for that it is not what it is about. Radical feminism simply states that the basis of women's oppression is our biology and actual or perceived reproductive capacity. Gender (socially compelled femininty) is the tool used to oppress us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 06:11 PM
52

I personally am a radical feminist however I don't agree with certain aspects of certain veins of radical feminism. For example, FDS does not tell women to be celibate. This is not a tenet of radical feminism.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 06:07 PM
70

There is no beauty shaming. There are posts suggesting that women think more critically about participating in and supporting the makeup and plastic surgery industries and also about how they might be being exploited by those industries.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 05:59 PM
24

Great comment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 05:51 PM
15

I stick with the cute animal videos
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 11:43 AM
2

The reality of female-based labor will remain as long as there is a size, strength, and reproductive differential between men and women. Both radfems and libfems feel this can be "willed away" by pretending sex differences don't matter and believe that having certain double standards for men and women in relationships is "Regressive". This is not true of radical feminism. It is based on acknowledging the physical differences between men and women. In no way do radical feminists think it can be w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 01:48 AM
3

Yes, that's exactly how I'd describe it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 02:04 PM
2

In summary, FDS is a new wave of radical feminism. A new evolution. It stands in direct opposition to liberal feminism or popular feminism, and gives heterosexual women a lens through which to make sense of their world. I like your post, but as someone who was raised during the initial wave of radical feminism, as was Dr. Dines, I can tell you that what we discuss on FDS is not a new wave. It is a rediscovery of second wave aka radical feminism. Sadly, two generations of young women were victims…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 12:39 PM
113

This surprises you? They do this shit all the time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 06:46 PM
12

Which radical feminist ideas don't you agree with?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 04:38 PM
111

I have been on FDS for a long time. In the past I often made radical feminist arguments in support of FDS principles only to be told this is not a radical feminist sub. I am elated that FDS is now openly aligning itself with radical feminism. Radical feminist analysis includes being anti-pornography but goes beyond that. This same method of analysis must be applied in all areas of life including the beauty/makeup/plastic surgery complex and exploring ideas of "femininity." You can't have one wit…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 01:46 PM
11

Here you go - dive in. http://radfem.org/
/r/askFDS13/06/21 01:01 PM
1

Beautiful!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/21 12:21 PM
27

men on average used to be better Um, no. No they didn't. I'm old enough to know.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 12:09 PM
21

I googled her. She looks great AND she looks her age. I am 53 and most of my friends who maintain a healthy weight, eat well and exercise look this good as well. This is very attainable for most women. I always laugh when I see these posts. Most women I know looked way better in their 30s than they did in their 20s and many just keep getting better as they figure themselves out with age. Where is this fear of aging coming from? I really don't understand it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 07:42 PM
51

Another reason why the ring should cost at least three months of his salary. If he leaves you or you have to leave due to mistreatment you can sell it to keep yourself and your kids afloat for a month or two.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 06:50 PM
15

Females? I think you mean women. Don't start using dehumanizing language like the scrotes do. We are women, adult human females.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 11:08 AM
2

That's Queer Theory for you. Many younger people seem to think sexual orientation is a choice. What a big step backwards for gay rights.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 02:35 PM
13

When you start to feel like you have to be a detective the relationship is over. If you are at this point it is because your intuition KNOWS that something is wrong. No need to snoop, interrogate or prove your case to anyone, just leave. Keep your dignity intact. If a man isn't making your life better, easier and more fun you don't need him. Move on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 12:25 PM
10

He's a predator, steer clear. These guys know they attract vulnerable women and then prey on them. That is why you feel uncomfortable. You intuition is screaming at you, listen to it.
/r/askFDS04/06/21 11:41 AM
97

I highly recommend her YouTube channel. I listen to her while I'm at the gym. Her advice is almost 100% FDS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 09:31 PM
23

I love me some Deb. She's the bomb.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 09:29 PM
122

Yup, and in the US abortion rights are under unprecedented attack. Women in shelters and prisons are being housed with male bodied sex offenders. Women's sports is about to die. And you know what? Nobody cares. Women are throwing themselves under the bus in an attempt to be "inclusive." I'm an older radfem and have been fighting these fights for decades. I give up. Younger women don't care and I no longer have the energy to fight.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 01:24 PM
329

She is 100% correct. No need for expensive skin care routines. I'm in my 50s and barely have a line on my face and all I do is wash and moisturize and of course use sunscreen. I've also been single for 10 years and absolutely look better now than when I was married. Men literally drain the life force from us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 07:33 PM
7

It's always three months or a little sooner. They can only keep it up for so long. That's why no sex until three months minimum plus exclusivity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 01:58 PM
61

It's a scam. HVM do not need to use this type of service. They charge women a lot of money and set them up with 3 or 4 dates, mostly losers. I've heard horror stories.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 08:04 PM
7

I traveled to India. Know what I saw? Small women, wearing saris, with six or more cinder blocks stacked on their heads going up and down flights of stairs all day long on construction sites.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 03:31 PM
9

It's always been about misogyny. Ask anyone in customer service, the rudest and most entitled people are men and there isn't any special name for those guys.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 03:29 PM
20

This is why I always say that the men you meet/know in the wild are the same men you meet online. Because they are. Yes, having 4 profiles is an issue. He is not trustworthy.
/r/askFDS31/05/21 11:41 AM
49

Yes, this is how it used to be done. Mind you it wasn't universal but not uncommon either. Many women would skim a few dollars every week and set up a secret bank account in the event things went south and they had to leave.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 03:29 PM
146

Back in the 60s and 70s there were are rare few men who would hand over their entire paycheck to their stay at home wife each week. Her job was to manage the household finances. I never hear about this happening these days. There really isn't such a thing as a green flag. There are acceptable behaviors. These behaviors should be baseline and expected. The problem is that the bar is so low for men that anytime we see them observing basic etiquette and common decency we are surprised and praise th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 02:44 PM
46

You never get free, just wiser. I'm 53 and it never stops.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 06:35 PM
3

If you're not codependent, you MOST likely won't attract narcs. So that part is on you. This is 100% false and victim blaming.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 12:29 AM
52

Unlikely if you've never had children. Also, do kegels every day, I have gone through menopause and did not have terrible symptoms at all. Exercise and eat a healthy diet. Worst part for me was trouble sleeping but some supplements took care of that. Not having a period and menstrual cycle anymore is AMAZING.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 07:17 PM
62

No anime, no gamers, no porn. This trifecta of bad habits will guarantee you end up with a pervert.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 07:17 PM
24

No. Is a complete sentence. Practice, practice, practice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 07:15 PM
4

Hell yeah!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 10:44 AM
5

It's all in my original post. I'm not here to argue with you. You disagree, you said your piece. I think you're uninformed on this topic. Seems we're at a stalemate and now you resort to ridiculous accusations. Bye.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 07:40 PM
3

What I posted is radical feminism 101. Nobody is telling you to do anything.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 07:01 PM
7

A lot of things are fun. That doesn't make doing them a feminist choice or even necessarily good for you. It's important to see things in context and think critically before supporting industries that exploit women's insecurities, even if you think that doesn't apply in your individual case.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 06:50 PM
13

If they can understand that it is wrong to hurt animals and children they are capable of understanding it is wrong to hurt women. They just don't care.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 06:39 PM
20

Classic triangulation. Yes, big red flag.
/r/askFDS24/05/21 03:33 PM
4

Yes, you are mistaken. You are describing liberal or choice feminism. Actual feminism aka radical feminism, radical meaning root in this context, is about liberating women from patriarchal oppression.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 03:05 PM
5

Again, read some radfem analysis of these issues. It's not my job to validate your choices. Nobody is stopping you from doing anything and my post is basically radfem 101. Knock yourself out, wear as much makeup as you want, but that is not feminist stance.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 02:55 PM
50

He can't be HV if he gets turned on by women being physically harmed and degraded, which is substantially all porn. If he can't or won't see how women are harmed by the porn industry he is a lost cause,
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 12:29 PM
4

Agree 100% and there are many suffering from Stockholm Syndrome.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 12:16 PM
10

I don't think they realize how bad this makes them look. That shit doesn't fly beyond anonymous social media and some parts of academia. They will be hard pressed to function like that once they hit the workforce. It's completely dysfunctional.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 11:48 AM
7

How were things coded masculine or feminine in the first place? Why can't we say empathy, intuition and compassion are important traits for all people to cultivate?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 11:39 AM
7

There's some disturbing deal with this. The second you feel like an actual person rather than a servant, you're a man. Exactly, that is because in our society the default human is a man. We know that most men don't even see women as fully human. I've been assertive most of my life and have often been told I "act like a man." my physical appearance is naturally quite feminine but being confident and taking up space in society is considered masculine. Even many other women are put off by it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 11:37 AM
8

I suggest you read some feminist analysis on these issues. I'm not saying anything new here, nor is it just my personal opinion.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 11:24 AM
4

That is correct. However, there is nothing condescending about what I wrote.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 11:22 AM
9

No, it says the opposite. Only female people can become women, but femininity is forced on us by society because we are female.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 12:15 AM
14

But then you're still making about the men and their reaction to you. How is it possible to reclaim the means of your oppression? It really isn't.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 11:25 PM
11

Thank you! Keep fighting the good fight sis!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 11:22 PM
80

Sorry this happened to you, but this is a perfect example of how narcs target everyone, not just those who have poor boundaries. You can have had completely normal relationships in the past, good mental health and strong boundaries. Breaking you down is like a game to them. They thrive on it. Sometimes they pick the most attractive, confident and successful woman they can to do this to. It gives them an even bigger thrill when they succeed in breaking you. IMO this is the true definition of evil…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 08:09 PM
6

Exactly
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 08:03 PM
12

I think this started happening in the 90s. It wasn't always this way. When I was young we were encouraged to think critically, at least where I grew up. Disagreement and debate were encouraged in college. It was shocking to me to see how much things have changed in such a short time. I have my theories as to why that is. Mass privatization of organizations and educational institutions has a lot to do with it IMO. Now profit wins over everything.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 07:55 PM
6

It never does. Once upon a time having a big ass was the worst thing that could have happened to you, now people are getting implants to get cartoon sized cheeks. Lol!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 07:40 PM
10

You explored and discussed the topic without name calling or calling anyone dumb for having originally followed a more warped definition and ideology of the word. I have always loved a robust debate and I'm very open to exploring new ideas. What I find among many libfems is defensiveness, not arguments that support their stance. When they can't defend their position they resort to moving the goalposts, smoke screens and ad hominem attacks. Debate used to be taught in school and there are certain…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 07:38 PM
24

As a late 20something we were taught to “reclaim” femininity almost, which I get in the sense of, if it’s used against you use it to your advantage instead of letting it be a reason you’re exploited. It’s so hard because you KNOW that sexism is still rampant and strong and you want to do SOMETHING so you try and do what you’re told makes you a good feminist. I think it’s such a hard thing, because I don’t want to destroy women who believe in liberal feminism because feminism is still needed and …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 06:56 PM
22

Yes, this is why radfems while embracing womanhood, fought to abolish gender stereotypes. They are harmful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 06:49 PM
34

It's definitely become worse. Remember, all celebrities are managed and their public persona is carefully curated by a team of PR people. We are being sold certain ideologies and aesthetics through all forms of media and entertainment. True empowerment is being able to see through it and make our choices based on careful consideration of what benefits us personally as well as women as a class. Sadly, the concept of a tomboy has been all but eradicated due to a certain ideology which must not be …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 06:47 PM
27

but I am questioning where that line is and whether I’m going into an easy way of replacing one male approval for another (my ex and society’s views of femininity). Yes, the response is to "show him" he was wrong. Instead think about what actually makes you feel good. Our feelings of self worth should not center around our appearance. I like to exercise and as a result have a "good figure" but to me that is just a side effect of being strong, healthy and able to do many of the activities I enjoy…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 06:30 PM
8

They are always trying to create the "perfect woman." This goes back at least as far as the ancient Greeks), probably much further.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 06:17 PM
57

I've been around doing this for a while. It doesn't faze me at all. I always think of this Gloria Steinem quote: "The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off." The libfems will wake up one day, let's hope it's soon.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 06:12 PM
16

Well that's the thing. There isn't anything inherently wrong with those things but we always should question WHY we do certain things and like a particular aesthetic? Where does it come from and who does it ultimately benefit? How much are we willing or able to conform and what is the cost/benefit of doing so?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 06:09 PM
11

My personal opinion here, but I legit think that insecurities in women are not a thing until big “beauty” makes it so. Remember when they started talking about thigh gap and hip dips? They will always find something to make women feel like they don't measure up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 06:06 PM
24

Social media creates such a toxic environment at times, where you see modelesque women promoting specific products. The idea is to make it seem like they look like this perpetually because of said product. It's so difficult to blur the line between marketing and actual content nowadays. Everyone is a product designed to make the viewers feel inadequate because they don't follow that specific routine with those specific products. If we did a better job at teaching kids critical thinking skills th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 05:57 PM
62

I think she is a therapist.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 05:48 PM
41

No. Your are completely missing the point. Being critical of behaviors that harm women as a whole is not "hating on women." Check into some critical analysis of performative femininity. It might help you understand better where OP is coming from.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 05:46 PM
9

Stop paying attention to scrotes on reddit. It will do your mental health a world of good. Most of them are teenage idiots.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 05:41 PM
81

A guy once told me I should revise my look because it makes me look "like a lesbian". Sometimes, I look at all the gorgeous, dolled up ladies around me and feel extremely self conscious for not being "feminine" enough. And this is a huge part of the problem. Even if you feel comfortable with your look and lifestyle others will compare you to a false standard of "femininity" and only then do you feel yourself as lacking. You are feminine because you are female. Full stop. If as women we are tryin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 05:26 PM
43

Most women are beautiful. The problem is that the idea of what we consider beautiful is being warped into something synthetic and artificial. There are many women who don't look anything like IG "models" but outshine them by magnitudes. Confidence, health, vitality and a kind heart are much better ways to measure beauty than superficial attributes and makeup fakery.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 05:21 PM
34

That is the problem. Society has conditioned you to feel that way about yourself. Other women buying into patriarchal beauty standards, for whatever reason, perpetuates the problem. I'm in my 50s and still look great by conventional standards. My secret? I exercise 5x per week, eat healthy food and get plenty of sleep. I hardly spend anything on beauty/grooming products and try to use natural things like almond or castor oil and homemade body scrubs on my skin. I have very few wrinkles. My makeu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 05:01 PM
19

Couldn't agree more.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 04:52 PM
49

Like oooh how dare I look like the geriatric age of 26-28 😱 That's positively ancient!!! Lololol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 04:34 PM
118

When libfems respond to makeup posts I see like yours, usually on other platforms, they immediately resort to the mean girl response of, "I'm sorry you can't do winged eyeliner". I know. I got some mean girl comments on that last one. One FDSer called me a "lame older woman." Right sis, I'm just jealous. It's funny how they don't seem to realize that all people age, unless you die. Also, resorting to personal insults when the cognitive dissonance kicks in seems to be a common trait among libfems…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 04:25 PM
100

WTF? That is a new term for me. Dudes are always moving the goalposts.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 04:13 PM
37

It does. I'm hoping it's because they've never been exposed to these ideas, not that they've rejected them for libfem ideology.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 04:09 PM
26

That's it in a nutshell.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 03:41 PM
40

Yes, that quote taken in context, refers to women being shaped by societal expectations and norms. Here is the full quote. "One is not born, but rather becomes, a woman. No biological, psychological, or economic destiny defines the figure that the human female acquires in society; it is civilization as a whole that develops this product, intermediate between female and eunuch, which one calls feminine. Only the mediation of another can establish an individual as an Other. In so far as he exists …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 03:40 PM
58

Lol. How sad that it's come to this when not too long ago these ideas were common sense and pretty much run of the mill.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 03:31 PM
10

Amazing to see how many are complicit in their own oppression and by extension contribute to the problem and yet have no awareness of it. Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 01:52 PM
21

This is just a dumpster fire. Girl, what are you doing?
/r/askFDS21/05/21 07:57 PM
2

Thank you for your kind words. Your comment makes some great points.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 12:44 PM
11

Aw, thank you. I appreciate that. Despite what many seem to think my post wasn't intended to put anyone down, but to point out the incongruity of those types of posts and how as women they do us no favors on so many levels. I'm really worried about the state of things for young women. They are much worse than when I was in my 20s.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 07:49 PM
9

Nope. That's not what I did.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 07:27 PM
19

I know. I really miss them too. And agree that much of what we are seeing is not in good faith.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 07:26 PM
10

Yup.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 07:16 PM
15

Thanks, it's really something else isn't it?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 07:15 PM
13

My post was about girls applying thick makeup at the same time they are espousing feminist thought. It is incongruous. Women and men are different, that is the basis of feminism - not equality, but liberating women from patriarchy. I suggest you reread what I wrote. You are really reaching, moving the goalposts and accusing me of things that just aren't there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 07:14 PM
7

What if women only watched female produced porn? Would that make it ok?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 07:08 PM
17

I suspect a lot of the downvotes are coming from FDSers who are pro makeup culture. It's a very contentious topic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 07:06 PM
14

You are a real piece of work sis. Ciao.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 07:00 PM
10

But you think you're right? And that it's your place to tell me what I can and can't say. FFS, look at yourself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 06:54 PM
16

Right, that's what I said. SMH Beauty culture profits directly from women's insecurities. Not all industries do that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 06:50 PM
9

Excellent point.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 06:47 PM
12

How do you define femininity? Who benefits from gendered traits and behaviors and where did they come from?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 06:44 PM
15

Thanks guys!!! Lololol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 06:42 PM
14

I think even when we dress for "ourselves" or other women there is an element of the internal voyeur. You've probably seen this quote by Margaret Atwood. “Male fantasies, male fantasies, is everything run by male fantasies? Up on a pedestal or down on your knees, it's all a male fantasy: that you're strong enough to take what they dish out, or else too weak to do anything about it. Even pretending you aren't catering to male fantasies is a male fantasy: pretending you're unseen, pretending you h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 06:41 PM
14

In other words any woman who wears makeup is brainwashed, and acting out of patriarchal conditioning not free will. Again. Not your fucking place to say and super condescending. Yup, they are unduly influenced by the prevailing culture. It IS my place to say it and I will continue to say it just as many famous feminist women have said before me. You seeing that as condescending is a personal issue. My position is hardly unique or new.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 06:38 PM
15

Just because a woman chooses to do something doesn't make it feminist. Feminism is about liberating women from patriarchal oppression. There are plenty of women out there working at cross purpose to feminist goals whether they are aware of it or not. Choice feminism is really just feminism that is palatable to men ie, sex positivity, 50/50 etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 06:26 PM
11

Try rereading my post. I'm advocating for critical thinking about why we feel obliged to alter our appearance to such an extreme degree (not talking about being neat or hygienic.) You are "allowed" to do whatever you want that doesn't mean it is a feminist choice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 06:20 PM
9

Right, so we don't change that by capitulating to it unnecessarily.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 06:18 PM
6

I stand by that paragraph. If you were 100% alone with no one else to observe you this is not how you would spend your time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 06:17 PM
9

Right back at 'ya XXOX
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 06:09 PM
13

Why is it considered more pretty than your natural face?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 06:04 PM
12

Like I'm trying to imagine Gloria Steinem or Angela Davis delivering one of their powerful messages while doing this and it just seems absurd. Is this really what we're fighting for? We've definitely taken a huge step backwards. As someone who grew up in the 70s it pains me to no end to see where we are now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 06:03 PM
15

Honestly I don't care about being downvoted. If it needs to be said I say it and take one for the team. Also, if you comment here often enough you will be followed by a bunch of MRAs and redpillers. They love to downvote and send nasty messages. Anyway, it's just reddit. Who cares if people downvote? It usually means you've struck a nerve. Especially if they downvote without saying why. When they can't substantiate their position they just throw rocks and run away. Lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 06:00 PM
4

How so? Please quote the part of my post where I did that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 05:54 PM
4

I have every right to say my piece, as do you. Try sticking to the topic at hand. I never said someone can't be a feminist because they like wearing lipstick. I said that although many of us do it for a variety of reasons wearing makeup is not a feminist choice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 05:50 PM
12

I wouldn't call this a safe space, more like tough love. Some things need to be said, even if they make people uncomfortable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 05:41 PM
14

At the end of the day who are the people profiting from makeup culture? It's not the YouTube or Tiktok creators is large corporations which are predominantly owned by men. Follow the money sis.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 05:40 PM
12

Most people have limited amounts of time and money. The $2k per year spent on beauty products could have been invested and then later used as a down payment on a home or additional rental property. Things will never get better for women until we are able to build the same type of wealth men have. Men own something like 90% of the worlds wealth. That is true power and "empowerment" and why they still wield almost all of the power in the world.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 05:38 PM
4

Why does it boost your confidence and make you feel good about yourself?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 05:34 PM
13

This^^^
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 04:53 PM
7

I addressed the history of men and makeup in my post. It's not equivalent or relevant to what is happening now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 04:53 PM
8

Why do you think makeup makes you look beautiful. Where did that idea/preference come from?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 04:50 PM
12

Communicating with younger women on FDS and sharing my experience in an effort to help them learn from my experiences and mistakes is not the same thing as spending time and money on makeup. Also, I actually do all of those other things you listed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 04:36 PM
6

Great comment and I fully agree. There seems to be a lot of black and white thinking in many areas with a younger demographic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 04:33 PM
8

I would argue it is not an innocent pastime. It costs money and eats up time that could be much better spent. I really recommend reading the Beauty Myth for an in depth analysis of this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 04:01 PM
12

But ask yourself why you prefer your face with makeup. Where did that feeling come from? Why don't men feel the same way about their faces?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 03:59 PM
4

You're missing the point.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 02:34 PM
34

That is not empowerment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 01:30 PM
36

Nope. Please study up on some feminist history (radfem not libfem.) It's right in line with everything in my post. I also highly recommend ready The Beauty Myth. It's eye opening.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 01:28 PM
57

I don't think that is correct. There are plenty of feminist videos that don't involve makeup.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 01:25 PM
48

Quite a few of the most popular makeup tutorials are by men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 01:24 PM
51

Exactly, save that money. Invest it in real estate and retirement savings. That's what men do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 01:22 PM
10

If it walks like a duck...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 12:11 PM
0

Nobody wants to answer? What is the purpose of this?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 12:49 AM
-10

But what's with the makeup. Why are girls doing this?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 03:21 PM
12

Thank you. Best of luck to you as well. We've got this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 03:00 PM
8

What do you mean? I don't think you understand the various waves of feminism.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 11:18 AM
61

You could be me. I was in exactly the same position. Quit my lucrative career to follow my low paying passion, no kids. Once I was under his financial control the abuse began. Sure, from the outside it all looked great, beautiful home, boat, vacations etc. but he would always pick fights right before I had to be in front of people and spent years tearing down my psyche. He knew I had nowhere to go if I left. I left anyway. I made it for 10 years on my own but struggled financially. Going back to…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 11:04 AM
8

Do not reproduce with these losers. Why are so many young women doing this? Please stop.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 11:55 AM
13

I don't know why men do this. I once matched with a former NBA player. His profile said he was 6'7" Google and all of the the player stat sites listed him at 6'6" Even the tall ones lie, even when they don't have to. He also proved himself to be a total perv during our second phone call. Needless to say there was no date. Scrotes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 11:52 AM
19

It is a health issue. Men who exercise and have a healthy diet do not have this problem.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 11:48 AM
40

This is how it is. The only way things will change is if women start companies and hire and support other women. We cannot look to men to be mentors and help us move forward in our careers. I'm 53 years old and have been at this for a long time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 11:27 PM
10

People like to think bad things happen to other people because they made poor choices even though much of the time this isn't even remotely true. Yes, bad things happen to good people all the time. This is a defense mechanism on their part. They like to think they have more control over things than they actually do. It is frightening to think of bad things happening to yourself or people you love so instead you blame the victim. I have cut people like this out of my life whenever possible.
/r/askFDS15/05/21 05:58 PM
14

It started for me at 52. I didn't have bad symptoms at all and not having a period anymore is GLORIOUS!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 10:59 AM
25

Freedom! There's nothing else like it. Congratulations Queen - now go live your best life!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 10:38 AM
42

I also have an ex who in his forties had the most amazing body I'd ever seen and a big dick too. The look is achievable for a lot of men if they put the work in and watch their diet.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 08:16 PM
10

Excellent choice!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 12:32 PM
15

I would argue there is no such thing. In fact narcissists use therapy to learn how to become better abusers.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 12:23 PM
6

This is true. I know several women with teen and adult sons who admit their boys are assholes and abusive towards women. They are heartbroken because they didn't raise them to be like that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 05:02 PM
5

Nobody can order up a perfect child guaranteed to love you. You can be the best parent in the world and give birth to a child with a terrible disability, personality disorder or addiction issues. I know people who have dealt with this. The happy moments are fleeting and the stress and anxiety over what is gong to happen to that child last a lifetime.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 05:00 PM
19

I know 60 seems old to younger people but it really isn't. Men stay perverted well into their dotage. Example: George Bush Sr. grabbing ass from his wheelchair in his 90s.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 12:02 PM
31

Based on the avatars I would surmise that quite a few of them are men who identify as women. The male socialization never goes away.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 12:17 PM
13

No mentally sound, decent person goes into prostitution voluntarily.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 12:15 PM
17

Someone needs to call child protective services. She's prostituting her child before it's even born. Sick.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 12:01 AM
33

They do it on purpose. A lot of men even joke about it. They refer to the guy you meet at the beginning as their "representative." The real guy shows up later. It's happened to me more times than I can count.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 11:56 PM
16

I've had the exact same experience. The married ones are the worst.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 12:07 PM
4

Lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 12:20 PM
58

They are absolutely traditional and much more bound up in gendered roles than we ever were in the 80s and 90s. They think they are progressive but they're anything but. It's tragic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 11:57 AM
14

I just did a 7.5 mile hike in the mountains with my little chihuahua mix. Best hiking companion ever.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 07:51 PM
34

The scary thing is that it isn't only the conservatives doing this to us. It's coming from the left as well. Libfems and their ilk are just as guilty. There is no political party that is a friend to women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 07:39 PM
44

I do not see this as a reach at all. If you are paying attention to what is happening in the courts with regard to women's rights it is crystal clear what is happening.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 05:42 PM
97

You are correct. Sadly many women in the west think the rights we have won, very recently mind you, are permanent and irrevocable. They are not. Our reproductive rights are being chipped away at and our existence as a legally recognized class of people with the right to advocate for our specific interests (biological women) is being nullified in both policy and law in many countries around the world. The writing is on the wall. I'm old enough to remember a time when advocating for women's rights…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 05:23 PM
3

This. Another common situation is when a female teacher has sex with a teenaged male student. Most men think this is some type of achievement, not sexual abuse or rape. Don't believe me? Read the comments section of any story like this that is reported in the news. Also, I'm a woman in her 50's. Whenever I make the mistake of putting up an online dating profile I am immediately hit up by scores of young men ages 18-21. My age range is +/- 10 years. I am not seeking them out. The power dynamic is…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 04:52 PM
40

Just call it what it is - PROSTITUTION. Truly, none of us should ever use the term sex work again. There is no such thing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 01:15 PM
171

I think it's more likely that we will end up living in some version of The Handmaid's Tale than that men will change and become real partners. There are many signs we are already headed in that direction.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 01:10 PM
166

Every single pregnancy that ever happened was caused by a man. If they don't want to have children they should get a vasectomy. Problem solved.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 08:41 PM
4

Therapy is not always the answer. Many men use therapy to learn how to be better abusers.
/r/askFDS07/05/21 01:29 PM
11

Woman is not a gender, it is a sex. There are only two sexes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 09:09 PM
26

I feel this in every fiber of my being.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 06:44 PM
32

Wait, I thought we were all man hating white feminists. I wish they would make up their minds.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 02:37 AM
5

Choice feminism is a cancer.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 09:51 PM
72

In the US we have a ONE YEAR cooling off period in certain states. Ask me how I know.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 12:02 AM
3

Yes
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 03:40 PM
12

It's not personally offensive to me. I just find it astounding that so many young women are buying into this beauty culture and come up with such ridiculous copes. It's as if second wave feminism never happened. I despair for younger women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 10:22 PM
11

Or core strengthening exercises
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 09:07 PM
16

I wear corsets/ waist cinchers when inside my house as well. I find these things make me feel good mentally, and more prepared to take on the tasks of my day. Why does this make you "feel good?" Think about it...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 06:57 PM
12

Yes, it was the Iceland Women's Strike.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 12:28 PM
7

Fantastic post. I'd like to add that it is not possible to "identify" into or out of an oppressed class of people and take advantage of resources earmarked for that group. You either are a part of that group or you aren't.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 12:19 PM
20

I saw that too. So sad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 11:31 AM
58

However, it’s important to tread lightly because some people use things like rape fetish to help them deal with their own trauma. Nah sis.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 02:53 AM
4

Exactly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 12:30 AM
38

Thank you. You are going to be fine. I've found that being realistic about the state of men and trusting my own gut to be more helpful than years of therapy and being told that I was codependent. Our society has normalized what is essentially narcissistic abuse of women by men. Many women are suffering the fallout from that. We did not choose to be abused, we do not like it, nor does it seem comforting or normal. We have been gaslit by society. The life I'm living today is not one I ever envisio…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/21 01:59 PM
54

I get it. I would caution you labelling yourself codependent. Many of those behaviors are actually reactions to abuse and would not exist had you been in a relationship with a normal person. I did not have children but divorced my ex in my early 40s after a 20 year marriage. During that time I had been completely beaten down and lost myself. When I finally had the strength to leave I never thought I'd want to be in a relationship again. That was 10 years ago. Since then I have tried dating only …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/21 12:41 PM
16

I was going to say the same thing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/21 11:42 AM
2

You're welcome. FYI Lundy Bancroft is a man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 06:00 PM
27

Abusive men use therapy to learn how to become better abusers (free pdf: Why Does He Do That, by Lundy Bancroft. Therapy does not work if you have no intention of changing or lack self awareness.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 12:13 PM
25

Does she have a son? I've noticed that many mothers of boys stay in denial. The truth is just too painful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 11:51 PM
18

Yes, the one that starts with a T is particularly insidious. I wish we could talk about that one without being branded hateful bigots and getting banned. It's disgusting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 08:18 PM
83

There were several others but they were lost in the purge. Gender Critical and Pinkpill were also 100% woman centered.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 08:14 PM
4

Explains a lot
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 07:57 PM
10

Lol! Kevin Samuels kills me. What a ridiculous scrote. He is a living, breathing comedy skit. Why do you call him kitten heels?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 12:05 PM
3

The last time I bought a car my salesperson was a young woman. It was a great experience.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 12:21 AM
12

I think you may be right. I seem to be seeing a shift on other dating subs and woman focused subs. The tide is turning.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 12:23 AM
7

Girl, I'm not asking if it's ok to date him. I'm sharing HIS post in which he seems to not understand why women are put off by his lifestyle. I wouldn't touch this with a ten foot pole.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/21 06:22 PM
9

The title is mine. It was meant to be a joke, but he does live in a van, maybe not down by the river.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/21 06:19 PM
196

He’s dropping all the red flags that he can’t handle commitment. 43 and never married, sounds like he’s lived in a ton of countries and travelled a ton. He’s prob just finding other “adventurous” girls to fuck on the way. Bingo sis, this is it right here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/21 01:12 PM
5

They sure did. I found out later I was far from the only woman they did this to. IMO being ghosted or cut off by a stranger is preferable to having your name and reputation tarnished after being treated poorly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 06:46 PM
6

I am 5'6" and wear a 4 or 6 depending on my weight fluctuations. I am considered overweight going by BMI. I exercise A LOT and weight train.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 12:42 PM
18

My mother eats all of her meals on a salad plate. The portions are literally the size you might feed a toddler. Even then she claims I serve her too much food and doesn't finish it. She has always been very thin and very vain about it. Although she doesn't say negative things about my weight (I'm normal to slim) she does often comment on any perceived changes. This makes me very self conscious and hyper vigilant about my own eating habits and portions. She idolized extremely thin women like Audr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 12:38 PM
15

I keep telling women here that same thing. Over the past ten years I have dated men I've met online, in person, through work, personal introductions and they have all been equally bad. My thought was that those I had common contacts with would behave better. Boy was I wrong. They were worse because they would smear my reputation in a pre-emptive strike in an effort to discredit me should I choose to expose them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 12:29 PM
4

I'm guessing you're in the UK (maths.) For some interesting and heartbreaking stories about how men have ruined women's political careers in a BIG way look at Hillary Clinton and her aide Huma Abedin. Most people said they didn't like Hillary because she stood by Bill when he cheated. Huma Abedin worked for Hillary, her husband was up and coming congressman Anthony Wiener who got busted sending dick pics (on two separate occasions - she forgave him the first time) to random women including one w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 12:36 PM
12

So true. My very shy rescue dogs who I adore beyond all reason were inordinately fond of several narcissists I had the misfortune of dating.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/21 12:17 PM
21

It is a thing and it's been around forever. At one point it was called a Boston Marriage.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/21 12:23 AM
23

I hope the young lady in the Philippines cleans him out. What a dumbass.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 09:16 PM
29

They are all like this. I'm in my 50s and most of my girlfriends have been divorced for a long time. The majority of them remain unmarried by choice even though some have boyfriends. The ex-husbands on the other hand, mine included, remarried within 2 years tops. Some of those ex-husbands have been remarried AND divorced again. They cannot be alone at any age.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 09:13 PM
35

I agree with the other comments that this isn't something to be rushed. However, you have been dating for about 9 months and exclusive for almost 6. I'm assuming you are having sex with him by now. In my personal opinion if he does love you he would have said the words by now. It's not too soon. His not ever having said it to another partner before is a red flag to me. He knows you would like to hear those words, especially if you have been intimate for this period of time.
/r/askFDS15/04/21 06:54 PM
7

I think that’s some of it. The pushback against 2nd wave feminism included a LOT of invalidation along the lines of “she’s unattractive/not conventionally attractive, so of course she’s saying this out of bitterness over being rejected.” So I think we see women trying to invalidate that by proving that they can be (a) conventionally attractive AND (b) feminist. I get that. I lived through it. I still see this as a big step backward. It is capitulation to the male gaze in order to be seen as rele…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 01:59 PM
10

I'm glad they're getting the info, but IMO when it's combined with a conflicting message it defeats the purpose. This all makes me very sad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 12:41 PM
18

I wish it would stop. I find it cringe worthy and not helpful. So many comments here focusing on her being pretty and how much they like her hair and makeup. Is that what this sub is for? Are her words (not hers btw) more meaningful because she is attractive?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 12:32 PM
24

Go ahead ladies, keep downvoting me. Maybe explain how I'm wrong? Try reading up on the topic. I recommend The Beauty Myth. It explains how you're being depleted financially and psychologically by buying into makeup culture. Fun fact, the book was written 30 years ago. Back then nobody had a "makeup collection." Things have become worse and too many of you have been conned but can't admit it. Critical thinking - it's a good skill to have.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 12:17 PM
13

Why is she putting on makeup in this video? I keep seeing this and don't understand it. It's such a mismatch. The words coming out of her mouth (not hers btw, credit to Dr. Jessica Taylor) are feminist bit the makeup part is shilling for the patriarchy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 11:43 AM
13

Exactly, what's with the makeup? I don't understand.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 11:41 AM
23

Seeking attention on Tiktok at any age is a bad look.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 11:45 PM
20

They know we're right and it's too dangerous for a lot of other women to hear it. There were even quite a few men on there agreeing that it was sick behavior.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 09:39 PM
115

I have to actively remind myself that the average redditor is not the average person and it's not as bleak as it seems. I hope. I wish. I've gone on a lot of dates over the past decade. What I've found is that men will often mirror you and pretend to share your values in the beginning. However, after a few weeks or sometimes, a few drinks, their true self emerges and yes, sadly many of them do hold the same beliefs about women as your average redditor.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 09:31 PM
169

Any man who watches porn these days is damaged. Sadly, that is most of them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 09:23 PM
15

I also have a few comments on that thread. Most of them were upvoted and I even got a nice reply saying they were happy to see so many women on the thread talking about how this behavior was not normal or OK.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 09:19 PM
11

Run like the wind girl, run, run run!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 09:07 PM
22

I had a Paraguard copper IUD that almost killed me. I developed an infection that moved upward to my fallopian tubes that caused scarring and an abscess and resulting PID. My doctor first thought I might have chlamydia. Tests showed I did not, nor did I have any other STI. I was hospitalized for several days and put on an extreme course of antibiotics to prevent sepsis. My recovery was long and slow. Afterwards I told a few other women about what happened to me. Several of them had experienced s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 09:02 PM
405

I was also just banned from that sub for the exact same thing. Gee, it's almost as if these men are grooming women to think this is normal behavior!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 08:54 PM
35

I was just banned from a dating sub here on reddit for people over 30 for saying that choking women and calling them degrading names during sex was not normal or healthy. apparently this is hate speech.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 07:58 PM
17

It's very basic. Maintain a healthy weight. Exercise consistently, include moderate cardio and weight training. Eat a healthy diet for you - avoid sugar and too much alcohol. Care for your skin by avoiding too much sun, but be more concerned with what you put in your body rather than on it, meaning beauty through health will always be more attractive than beauty through artifice (make-up and other cosmetics.) Learn what styles flatter your figure type. For example the high waisted crop top trend…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 07:42 PM
17

Very true. I have a few girlfriends dealing with that very thing right now. They are approximately 15 years younger than their husbands and the men's health is starting to fail in serious ways. They are miserable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 05:44 PM
21

He acted surprised. I'm not going to say I look young for my age. However, I am very fit yet curvy at the same time and have always taken good care of my skin, so very few wrinkles. I also try to stay current yet classic with fashion and wear things that flatter my figure rather than follow trends or get stuck in the past. I try to be the best I can at whatever age I am, not try to look younger.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 03:01 PM
39

Years ago, before FDS I had an on again off again thing with a guy 17 years my junior. It lasted for five years. When it began I was 45 and he was 27. We met when he took a fitness class I was teaching. He kept coming back to my class and messaging me on FB about various things. He was GORGEOUS, extremely tall 6'7" and built like an NBA player. We would often go out and nobody ever perceived me as being older than him. In fact friends and strangers would often remark that we made a striking coup…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 02:52 PM
91

And besides getting better looking with age we have our own money now too. I've out-earned the vast majority of men I've dated as well as my ex-husband. Dudes are grasping at straws these days.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 02:38 PM
20

Neuroplasticity
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 02:40 PM
25

I don't think so but men are also the majority of people diagnosed as sociopaths and various Cluster-B personality disorders. I believe it is 80/20 male/female. Underdeveloped pre-frontal lobe?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 02:36 PM
13

Exactly. I am ruthless with men because they have taught me that is the only path to self preservation when dealing with them. I have unlimited love to give. My nature is to be sweet, generous and helpful. Being ruthless is an effort and frankly quite draining, as a result I try to avoid men whenever possible. The only people who now see the giving side of me are women. The only living beings who receive my full capacity to love are my pets.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 12:57 PM
42

Men are overwhelmingly more likely to have paraphilias. Here is a peer reviewed study.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 12:33 PM
95

These guys are basically children. I tried listening a time or two but felt really embarrassed for them. The only valuable thing they do is tell men to level up and get it together. Their fan base doesn't seem to like that advice based on the comments.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 12:09 PM
37

They don't need to know it and most men can't handle the truth anyway. I know women who have been in so called "good marriages" for decades. They do not rely on their husbands for emotional support. That is what your girlfriends are for.
/r/askFDS09/04/21 11:51 PM
5

Look up The Nordic Model if you aren't aware of it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 07:01 PM
17

It's not ours and it never will be. Most of us adhere to at least some of these beauty standards for a variety of pragmatic reasons. However, the time, energy and money we spend adhering to these standards is a huge financial and emotional drain. It saddens me that so many women can't see this or refuse to see it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 12:19 PM
29

The Robber Bride by Margaret Atwood
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 12:14 PM
23

I like that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 11:47 AM
33

I'm in my 50s and wouldn't go anywhere near him. Here is what men don't understand. A woman my age who looks good (and sometimes even if she doesn't) can still have sex with very young, good looking men if we want to. The thing is most of us can't be bothered. They aren't worth the time or trouble. This pisses men off. All they want is sex, they don't care about a relationship, yet they can't do what we can. I have turned down more offers from guys in their 20s and 30s than I can count. I don't …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 11:45 AM
9

Yes, I've noticed that. I just laugh. Do they think they aren't aging themselves? Just wait lil sis. Lol!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 11:56 AM
11

You did the right thing. Dreams like that are your intuition screaming at you. I ignored a dream like that once to my great detriment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 11:37 AM
56

Stop paying him rent now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 11:40 PM
36

Good for you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 11:49 AM
36

I'm embarrassed for her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/21 03:23 PM
10

I am also older and have found men my age are almost as porn sick as the younger ones. I've pretty much given up as well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/21 02:55 PM
20

Agree - 48 hours max.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/21 01:35 PM
20

I'm older, in my 50s. I know women that have cheated after being in very long marriages. 95% of the time it is a variation of this story. They have been beaten down for decades, then another man shows up and shows them some kindness and attention and they give in to it. Usually after giving things a lot of consideration. It is rare for women to go out and seek an extra marital affair. Most women who have cheated were actually sitting ducks for predatory men after enduring extreme abuse and/or ne…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/21 01:29 PM
9

My father was like this. Thought it was funny to terrify small children. Glad to say he died a long time ago.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 07:01 PM
14

"Sex work" is just a euphemism for prostitution. Giving someone any type of sexual access to you, whether physical or visual, for money makes one a prostitute. Aka "hooker."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/21 12:32 PM
26

It's a masterpiece. Here's a free PDF for those who haven't read it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/21 11:47 AM
28

No. If they don't ask you on a date within 48 hours of matching and texting block and delete. They are time wasters.
/r/askFDS29/03/21 01:23 PM
35

Woody Allen has been in therapy his entire adult life. Hasn't done him much good has it?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 11:47 AM
8

Gender is based on stereotypes associated with one's sex. It is also patriarchal and disadvantages women. I don't buy into gender ideology.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 09:34 PM
8

This is the best answer. I'm in my 50s and childfree. It is by far the best and most important decision I ever made in my life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 04:07 PM
1

Oh, I misread your comment. I thought you meant it was a woman with a male gender identity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 03:48 PM
22

Gender and sex are not the same thing. Why in the world should you feel bad for calling a woman a woman? How could you have possibly known? People know damn well who is male and who is female 99.999% of the time. There are important evolutionary and safety reasons associated with this ability. As women we know men are not as safe to be around as women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 03:28 PM
54

100% I am in my 50s and can tell you I have never had a true male friend. When I was younger I did think it was possible to have male friends. Life taught me I was wrong. Too many times I see younger women here denying this reality. Some people have to learn the hard way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 03:22 PM
3

He seems to lack compassion for the women he is speaking to and doesn't have a realistic or accurate idea of how men really are. Some of the titles of his videos feel very victim blamey as well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 08:42 PM
2

I think he's a narc too. Time will tell.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 08:33 PM
3

No
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 06:59 PM
1

This is the church they go to. They are both batshit crazy. (14) Derrick Jaxn: YOU IN A CULT?! (What Typa Church is This You Go To?) - YouTube
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 12:38 PM
63

I watched some of her own content on IG. She comes across as having religious mania. I suspect she dove deep into the Jesus koolaid to try to cope with the narcissistic abuse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/21 11:09 PM
16

I highly recommend learning about Super Traits. The link will bring you to Sandra Brown's website. "The traits of survivors that are ‘targeted’ by disordered partners are often assumed to be connected to codependency or being an ’empath.’ Our research with Purdue University shows that over 60% of survivors are NOT codependent and elevated ’empathy’ producing ’empathic responses’ is only one of 13 OTHER traits that are also elevated, needing the same attention paid to elevated empathy. In this th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/21 11:26 AM
17

His advice videos are solid. But about a year ago he was on a radio show with a couple of guys and a woman named K Michelle. She was speaking about her negative experiences with men and how hundreds of women all over the country were sharing their horrible and traumatic experiences as well. She said "men are not good people." Jaxn joined in with the other men basically saying she was bitter and needed to work on her own issues. That her "negative attitude" was driving good men away from her. I l…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 01:49 AM
11

I couldn't get through it. So now he's found Jesus. LMAO He got busted and now he's pivoting his marketing strategy to appeal to the religious sisters and the forgiveness crew. Give me an f'ing break.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 12:24 AM
2

wow
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/21 08:12 PM
199

I wanted to like him but my spidey senses kept telling me something was off. How did his mistress expose him?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/21 06:26 PM
36

As a divorced woman I say this is a highly underrated comment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 11:49 AM
16

Yes, all of my doctors are female. I won't have it any other way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 01:15 PM
22

Agree 100%. As someone who has been around since the 1970s I can confirm. Thanks for saying this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 12:28 PM
27

Neither menopause nor gray hair grants you invisibility.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 12:53 PM
35

I'm older than most here. I can tell you that EVERY man I have ever been with performed oral sex on me, willingly and with enthusiasm. There used to be a trope that men of a certain race won't perform oral. Absolutely false IME. Any man who does not enjoy performing oral does not really enjoy a woman's body and very well may be gay.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 12:48 PM
8

I had the same thing. I NEVER get rashes but developed a weird rash in my armpit while I was dating a seemingly good guy. It didn't respond to any treatment. As soon as we broke up the rash disappeared.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 12:36 PM
5

Great book, the author is Bessel van der Kolk if anyone is looking for it. I'm glad you're feeling better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 12:32 PM
10

99% of the time it's him that made her "crazy." Never doubt it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 12:27 PM
12

Interesting how many women are mentioning substance abuse. I also found myself drinking too much and using prescription drugs near the end of my marriage. Luckily it never got too bad or interfered with my work. It was definitely a case of trying to calm my anxiety and find a sense of peace somewhere. Since my divorce I rarely overindulge. The only times I have, have been when I've been in shitty relationships with men. These days I rarely feel the desire to have a drink. Just like most incarcer…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 12:18 PM
25

She's a jewel. I wish there were more doctors like her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 12:04 PM
449

Yes, anxiety, depression as well as a host of physical issues. They all magically disappeared when I got divorced. Imagine that!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 11:32 PM
142

In case some people don't know Rachel Moran is a formerly prostituted woman. Notice that she calls it prostitution, not sex work. Why don't people listen to formerly prostituted women?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 06:30 PM
66

Let's call it what it is - PROSTITUION. There is no such thing as sex work. If a person is exchanging any type of sexual access, whether physical or visual, for money they are engaging in prostitution. Only Fans is prostitution. Stripping is prostitution.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 02:04 PM
-1

That is not true. It started with a tiktok from a teenager about only being attracted to the opposite sex. Being only opposite or same sex attracted is not gross. In fact when the sub still existed they were very specific about not using SS or making any type of racial comments.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 01:49 PM
0

Is that true?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 01:39 PM
18

One time a guy told me "I have love for you."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 01:08 PM
-1

Why do you have the superstraight logo on there?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 01:02 PM
70

Anime and gaming are both a definite no go for me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 01:00 PM
28

As an older woman who has dated both men my age, 50ish, and up to 20 years younger I can confirm that older woman/younger man is a good combo for many reasons. Also, older women generally enhance a younger man's life. We don't try to dominate and control them like older men do to younger women. I think when the woman is older an age gap relationship can be quite a good thing. When I first got divorced I avoided dating younger men although plenty of them were interested. My reasoning was that I w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 01:20 PM
13

There is no "True Bible." The bible is a carefully selected compilation of various texts and myths that that existed in written and oral form in many cultures for thousands of years. The books that made it into the bible that we know today are there because they were agreed upon by the Council of Nicea in CE 325, by a group of men. Before going on about the interpretation or veracity of the contents of the bible you should understand how it actually came into existence. Doing so may very well ch…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/21 01:52 PM
3

No. You are still misunderstanding my post. That's not what it is about.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 09:08 PM
11

I think you misunderstood my post. Nowhere did I say I thought asking the question would change them or make them treat me better. The ONLY reason I do it is for the benefit of younger women. Please re-read what I wrote.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 08:44 PM
19

You are a lucky woman :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 04:37 PM
14

That is why I said married OR had children. I am childfree but have been married.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 04:37 PM
69

Yes, I have absolutely experienced this. They use their children to make themselves seem responsible and loving when it is to their benefit. They will also use them as excuses to flake. I am childfree. If I ever call them out on their inconsistency they like to tell me how "I just don't understand because I don't have kids."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 04:19 PM
13

That wouldn't have prevented them from getting married. Although this post is specifically about men with children, which is probably 95% of men over the age of 40, not having been married by that age is also a major red flag.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 04:00 PM
81

If you are over 40 and won't date divorced men with children you will likely never date at all. A man over 40 who has never been married or had children can be a red flag in itself. There is a high likelihood he is a serious player or even a pedo.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 03:05 PM
46

They know exactly what men are like despite their protests of "not all men."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 01:40 PM
19

Keep reading FDS. The methods are tried and true. The more you practice them and know your self worth the easier it will be.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 09:57 PM
3

Please read the handbook. FDS is not about 50/50 for very good reasons which are elaborated on in the handbook.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 01:31 PM
126

This is why we need to stop calling it "sex work." Anyone on Only Fans is a prostitute. The definition of a prostitute is someone who engages in sexual activity for money. This has to stop. This is NOT helping women in any way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/21 04:56 PM
9

I highly recommend reading The Beauty Myth by Naomi Wolf.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/21 01:00 PM
7

Mostly through yoga.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/21 07:44 PM
17

I am an older woman in my 50s. I promise you it does get better. I have amazing women in my life. We don't get to see each other very often due to family and work but they are always there when I'm in need. A couple of years ago I was in the hospital for a few days for an emergency. Four of my friends grouped up to care for my pets, visit me and bring me healthy food (hospital food was terrible.) They've also been there for me when moving house and during other difficult transitions and situatio…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/21 01:32 PM
14

I don't think these guys own mirrors.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/21 06:40 PM
207

It was Iceland.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/21 05:57 PM
10

Sadly, this story is all too common. As an aside I really like Kendall Rae and her husband Josh. Their Mile Higher podcast that they do together is great and they really seem to enjoy each other.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/21 02:32 PM
7

Congratulations. We are happy you're here. Keep reading until FDS is second nature.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/21 02:25 PM
9

Read the Beauty Myth. It is life changing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/21 02:16 PM
41

You can't just say "sex worker" and pretend that a cam girl faces the same shit as a prostitute. Although technically a cam girl is a prostitute. She is engaging in sexual activity for money. Same goes for Only Fans.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/21 08:50 PM
3

He's trying to have sex with you. Your ex may even be "passing you off" to him.
/r/askFDS25/02/21 08:27 PM
9

You don't explain anything, you can't change anyone except yourself. He has shown you who he is. Block and delete.
/r/askFDS25/02/21 08:24 PM
45

Nope, I'm out. He's setting the stage for triangulation.
/r/askFDS25/02/21 08:22 PM
2

You're still not getting it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/21 04:22 PM
2

Nah sis. If you don't like people replying to your comments you're in the wrong place.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/21 04:14 PM
4

Yup. I'm tired of posting it. I'm glad so many former libfems and pickmes made their way here but this shit is getting old.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/21 04:13 PM
2

Language is important. Do you know that "sex work: is a very new term? Why the change in language? Who does it benefit? Why we shouldn't rebrand prostitution as "sex work" (newstatesman.com)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/21 02:43 PM
2

Can confirm. I'm in my 50s still no sagging anywhere and very few facial lines. I am also childfree and prioritize exercise, healthy diet and low stress. I'm not wealthy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/21 02:30 PM
3

There is no such thing as "sex work." These are prostituted women and girls. You are the one who needs to do some reading, not us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/21 02:19 PM
7

I saw that too. Probably a Christian trad wife.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/21 02:02 PM
5

No such thing as a sex worker. The correct term is prostitute or prostituted woman or girl.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/21 01:59 PM
26

Jolene by Dolly Parton. (10) Jolene -Dolly Parton Lyrics - YouTube I suggest changing the chorus: Jolene, Jolene, Jolene I'm begging of you please come take my man Take this useless asshole off my hands.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/21 07:52 PM
17

You don't have to tell them those things. If they haven't asked for a real date within 48 hours unmatch. If they suggest a date that is not to FDS standards unmatch. These guys know exactly what they are doing.
/r/askFDS24/02/21 03:35 PM
7

Remember, you are the prize. Let him prove himself worthy of you. Do not ever give a men the benefit of the doubt. If something feels off or wrong block and delete.
/r/askFDS24/02/21 03:15 PM
8

Soylent Green is people.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/21 01:55 PM
15

Is this an actual date? I would describe this as a video chat and part of the vetting process, not a date. Let him lead the conversation and see where he takes it. Men love to talk and they always tell on themselves. Also, please read the handbook. Don't reveal anything traumatic or negative.
/r/askFDS24/02/21 01:47 PM
14

I agree with you 100%. You should see another therapist and see if you can get your diagnosis officially reversed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 06:48 PM
1

Absolutely. If he didn't already know where I lived, which he did because I'm in my childhood home caring for my mom, I would not have allowed him to pick me up. With OLD I always drive myself. Safety comes first. Also, what they get in return for the date is the pleasure of your company.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/21 07:38 PM
6

Carry yourself like the Queen you are. When they try it on with sub par attempts do not respond, block, delete and move on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/21 04:12 PM
5

Yes to all you've said. Another consideration with a man that age who has never married is that the he was a player his entire life or that he's a pedophile.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/21 03:50 PM
39

OK. Please listen to me. I'm in my 50s and recently went on a date which I will describe below. If you follow these rules this will never happen to you again. Do not text or talk with a man for more than 48 hours. Get all relevant information. Full name, place of work and any other info you can get. Google him and/or do an online background check. If he is squirrely about giving you info block/delete. As a woman your safety is paramount. I suggest having a phone conversation and video chat befor…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/21 02:13 PM
41

Don't ever stay friends with an ex. There is no point to it. Oftentimes they just view your relationship as downgraded and will try to keep you in their roster as a FWB. Men are not your friends.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/21 01:34 PM
32

Remember - men are not your friends.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/21 01:27 PM
79

I don't even know where to start.... She's deep into the kinkmeisha/pickmeisha. These dudes know exactly what they're doing. Disgusting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/21 01:11 PM
20

It's not the app that's the problem. It's men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/21 02:41 PM
20

Don't even respond. Block and delete.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/21 02:12 PM
18

No they aren't. This is their design. Men Are Not Broken | IceMountainFire (wordpress.com)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/21 02:01 PM
13

I also think this is at the heart of so many young women saying they are asexual.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/21 05:31 PM
4

This is why it is so important there be no "talking phase." You get invested, even if it's only your time. When meeting online message for 48 hours max. If he does not as you on a proper date in that time frame block and delete. If you follow this rule you will not experience as much disappointment nor have you wasted time talking to a pervert who was just biding his.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/21 03:12 PM
21

Yes, it can happen at any age.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/21 02:24 PM
42

I agree with you 100%. Research also backs you up. Abusers and predators target all types of women. We do not "attract" them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/21 02:17 PM
141

OK, but this: These are the same men. Does it make it better that they treat you with more respect because they met you "organically" while they are still on dating apps treating other women poorly? Don't use dating apps if you don't want to, but don't kid yourself into thinking the man you met through friends or activities isn't on those apps and if you aren't on them you won't know unless a friend sees them and clues you in. I keep saying this. There is no secret pool of HVM or even somewhat d…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/21 02:05 PM
164

I'm the same age as these women as are most of my friends married and single. Sure, there are hormonal changes that occur in your 50s BUT in most cases what is happening here is that these women are no longer attracted to their husbands. If these women were being treated properly and had respect for their husbands their libido would still be there. I can't tell you the number of women I know who thought they had low libido until they got divorced and met someone else, their sex drive came roarin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/21 01:52 PM
80

And why we have lower car insurance rates.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/21 01:27 PM
63

She's "not like other girls."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 08:33 PM
23

And most of these people are just randos on YouTube with no professional background in anything. They use people's insecurities to try to make a buck. Pathetic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 08:27 PM
16

There is no reason to be texting anyone OLD for more than 48hrs. If they haven't asked you on an actual date in that time they are up to no good. At best they are a time waster, more likely they're looking for someone who will sext with them for free while they sit at home jerking off.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 08:10 PM
18

Same. I've tried to talk to people about it IRL. Most say that it's just kids blowing off steam on the internet or that its only a few losers. No. These men are all around us. They are your fathers, brothers and sons. I'm in my 50s and I'm hard pressed to think of any women in relationships who have been treated properly. The majority have not only not been treated well but have flat out been abused. Pornography dominates all internet content, there are thousands of channels of YouTube of men de…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 03:40 PM
16

Exactly. What is mostly happening is that they are giving shelter to men who want to be in relationships that exploit and damage women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 03:04 PM
18

As is their interest in porn. They are watching to see other men's dicks maybe even more than seeing women's bodies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 01:54 PM
10

Men are homosocial.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 01:52 PM
72

And they say WE hate men. They hate themsleves. This is true. Most of them have deep self loathing. They are also always telling on themselves. 99% of what they say about women is pure projection.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 01:45 PM
18

Honey, what are you doing? Please read the handbook.
/r/askFDS19/02/21 01:26 PM
12

I would never accept this from a partner - deal breaker. However, I have had other men in my life try this shit with me. Luckily I was blessed with some bad ass RBF. Whenever a man says it was just a joke I stay stone faced and say "do you see me laughing?" Never fails to put them on the defensive, sometimes they even apologize.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 02:48 PM
95

I have this too. When you're in a relationship and your partner starts to disgust you we call it the "ick." Once you get the ick there's no going back. I think many of us are getting the ick for the entire male sex because of what they are showing us about themselves. Complete loss of attraction and respect.
/r/askFDS18/02/21 01:23 PM
2

Yes!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/21 04:12 PM
7

I hope she gets picked.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/21 02:48 PM
23

Did you notice his huge gut too? Nothing attractive about this scrote.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/21 02:42 PM
15

I worried for a few days, was I not enough for him? Then another realisation, it's not that I was not enough, it's because I was too much for him. After FDS my standards were too high, I'm smarter, I'm funnier, I'm richer, I'm stylish and I'm definitely too sexy for him :) This is almost always the answer. The more we improve ourselves, which is a natural thing for most women, the harder it will be to find a man who is our match. Many men I've dated felt lesser in comparison due to my profession…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/21 12:30 PM
11

I do try to chime in on other threads. Sometimes I get flamed because younger women don't understand where I'm coming from and feel they are being attacked. Maybe they see me as an annoying mom type? I've also been called bitter more than once. It's ok though. I'll take the hits if what I say helps a younger woman avoid a lifetime of pain and abuse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/21 12:24 PM
10

I know. I'm firmly against walk dates, even with COVID. The thing is that where I live there are some really quaint shopping areas with outdoor dining in heated tents. There are so many other things he could have suggested but he was cheap. The park he suggested isn't even near anywhere we could grab a bite or a drink. Men like this should be thoroughly embarrassed by their behavior.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/21 12:21 PM
4

Thank you :) You can do it. Just like anything it takes a little practice but once you develop the habit it is quite easy and frankly second nature.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/21 12:18 PM
19

You are lucky to be learning these things so young. Hold firm to your standards and practice saying "no." You don't owe a man anything, not even your attention or an explanation. When you see a red flag remove yourself from the situation ASAP. I know it can be difficult at first but it becomes easy and even pleasurable over time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/21 12:16 PM
15

You are correct. OLD is no picnic but honestly I prefer it. I can do my own choosing and vetting. I have met some truly horrific men IRL, some of them were introductions from married friends. When those situations go bad it can affect friendships, hobbies, even places you enjoy going. Anyway there is no secret hidden pool of HVM that we have somehow overlooked. This is the state of manhood today no matter where you find them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/21 11:54 AM
13

Yes, and they complain about it on dates too. Not very attractive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/21 11:48 AM
33

Never, ever lower your standards. I've been married and I've been alone. Both have their pros and cons but I'd much rather be alone than in an unhappy relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/21 02:56 AM
40

You are right. I mentioned the fact that these men had daughters and granddaughters for that reason. They don't seem to make the connection that normalizing these behaviors will impact their children and grandchildren. It's truly disgusting behavior.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/21 02:07 AM
55

The part about them leering in the gym.... It's because they're watching porn scenes in their head that they've seen before, but with our bodies. It makes me want to gag. I know sis, I know :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/21 01:29 AM
67

Men in their 40's don't seem to want to stay single for long. My ex and I divorced at 43. He was with someone else within months and married her within a couple of years. They don't know how to be alone. Good for you for not letting him railroad you into a life of drudgery.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/21 01:29 AM
10

Absolutely! Is she still with him?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/21 01:26 AM
12

Thanks for the video. I'll check it out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/21 12:34 AM
65

💯 a pity ploy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/21 12:13 AM
82

The older men really aren't better. A lot of them are really cheap too, paying child support. The nicest dates I've had have been with younger men, but those guys aren't looking for a LTR with someone my age.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 11:56 PM
71

I tend to take long breaks then try again. I moved to a much better area for meeting like minded people so maybe I'll have better luck meeting people IRL when more things open up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 11:50 PM
151

Thank you! That is a really lovely compliment. I'm sure you will be better off than me. I had a bit of a late start, not due to lack of confidence, but naiveté.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 11:48 PM
6

I think it is helpful. It encompasses a specific set of traits and behaviors. It's a pathological disorder. There is no cure and they cannot be changed. I think it is important for women to know that and not hold out hope that with therapy or some other form of help these men will get better or to somehow think they were at fault for what happened to them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 08:44 PM
30

If you pay attention to what a lot of men say they don't care about what you do for a living. Your earnings should not be part of the equation when dating because you will not be doing 50/50. When a man takes you on a date he is benefiting from your time and company. If he tries to make you feel inferior in any way stop dating him. Some professions are more highly compensated than others. This doesn't make those professions better or worse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 07:58 PM
4

You allowed yourself to be down graded. You are not responsible for his mental health. Take care of your own and cut ties with this loser.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 07:53 PM
17

Disagree. I don't think it's rare at all. Clinical NPD is often only diagnosed if someone has had a court ordered evaluation. Most narcissists do not seek psychiatric help on their own and are therefore never diagnosed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 07:16 PM
160

I agree. There are men his age and older who do not have these issues. I know because I'm older too and date men in 50ish age range. I feel fortunate in saying I have never dealt with some of what many younger women complain of (bad oral hygiene, dirty ass, BO.) In fact most of the men I've dated have been very clean, some to the point of potential OCD. That being said I have had a couple of instances where I went on a date with a man who smelled "off." This was usually due to poor health and ba…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 04:12 PM
22

A lot of people were also very eager to hate the pretty, young "mistress" rather than put appropriate blame where it belonged, on the cheating, manipulative husband. Just another example of misogyny. Sold a lot of newspapers at the time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 03:44 PM
22

I think you need to read the handbook again. You are misunderstanding and misrepresenting what is meant by high value.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 03:34 PM
52

Does anyone here remember the "Long Island Lolita" case? A 40ish married man, Joey Buttafucco was having an affair with a teen aged girl, Amy Fisher. He was a mechanic and they met when he worked on her car. At one point Amy went to Joey's house and shot his wife, Mary Jo, in the face. Mary Jo survived. Amy was tried and convicted of attempted murder and spent a lot of time in jail. Joey walked scot free. There was a lot of evidence that he manipulated Amy into doing this. Was Amy guilty? Yes. W…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 03:17 PM
4

I think you need to distinguish between second and third wave feminism. Second wave did not advocate for or instigate what we are seeing now. I had a Women's Studies minor in the 80s. Gender studies did not exist b/c actual feminists at that time realized gender, not sex, was a harmful patriarchal construct.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 09:28 PM
4

but i feel like society stopped pushing these ideals onto men in the 70s when the women's lib movement started to really gain steam. What do you mean by this?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 08:25 PM
19

Agree 100% In the state where I got my divorce there was a one year "cooling off" period. During that time you could not stay under the same roof for even one night or the clock started over. It worked out ok for me because we had the financial resources to maintain two residences during that time and I didn't have children. Many women are not so lucky and end up staying in bad and/or dangerous situations for far too long.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 07:19 PM
-15

Was going to say the same thing. Refreshing to see a beautiful young woman who isn't wearing 5 layers of makeup.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 01:37 PM
2

This is a very odd comment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/21 06:41 PM
90

If they wanted to they would. People always find the time, money and energy to do the things that are important to them. My instincts were always right.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/21 05:48 PM
9

I almost died from PID I got from an IUD. Up until my doctor admitted me to the hospital I was teaching 4 to 5 fitness classes per day while in extreme pain thinking it was period cramps or a stomach bug. Nobody at the hospital could believe I drove myself there and walked in on my own. We can become very accustomed to ignoring our own pain.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/21 03:57 PM
70

I know plenty of women who divorced in their 60s and 70s. Who wants to spend their last 20 or 30 years with a man who is making you miserable?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/21 03:33 PM
14

Read the handbook
/r/askFDS14/02/21 03:27 PM
19

53, still getting better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/21 03:12 PM
28

Bingo. Sexism is the one form of discrimination that is still socially acceptable across all races, ethnicities and social classes. Never forget it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/21 03:06 PM
11

That is a very, very old saying. Pickmes have been around forever.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/21 03:02 PM
2

Where did I say that?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/21 03:34 PM
3

Consider another scenario. Your husband intentionally chose affair partners who had low self esteem or were at a particularly difficult point in their lives and then lied to them about you and the state of your marriage while making all kinds of promises to them, love bombing and future faking. Sorry sis, but this is more likely than the other women being "evil." I know a lot of women and can't think of any who would "help a man abuse his wife." Not saying it's impossible, but it would be an ext…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/21 03:16 PM
13

He is the one in the supposedly committed relationship. Do you sleep with every man who flirts with you or hits on you? Why not? Don't kid yourself no other woman can "steal" your man if he doesn't want it to happen, and 99% of the time HE is the pursuer and lying to you about it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/21 03:11 PM
26

Not only did he willingly participate, the majority of the time he actively pursued.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/21 03:08 PM
41

I did this when I found out the man I was seeing was married. His wife was very grateful. I gave an affidavit to a private investigator and appeared in court on the wife's behalf. He had been cheating on her for 30 years but she could never get another woman to help her provide evidence. This was very satisfying for both of us and he got what was coming to him. Not every woman will be grateful but it is worth a try and it's the right thing to do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/21 03:07 PM
17

Good dog!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/21 08:01 PM
87

Back in my day there was a guideline that the engagement ring should cost 2.5 months of the man's salary. This was pretty standard. Most women I knew had a minimum one carat diamond engagement ring, many had much more extravagant rings. This was pretty standard among working and middle class people in my area. If a man really want you as his wife he has to show proper investment and commitment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/21 06:12 PM
6

True story: Back in the 80's I was dating a recently graduated engineering student. I was still in college. He invited me over to his new apartment. Vertical blinds were the in thing back then. He was trying to install some in his room and couldn't figure out the assembly and install. I read the instructions and had it done in 5 minutes. My ex-husband was equally bad at building and fixing things. I was always the one to figure things out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/21 02:46 PM
46

FYI. Kate Manne and Naomi Wolf and a few others have written a few books with great content. Sadly, these women are both libfems. It doesn't discredit their work but it is something you should keep in mind while reading it. Neither of them claims to know what a woman actually is and they both deny women are discriminated against based on our female biology. You can check their Twitter feeds for confirmation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/21 02:16 PM
9

Agree. Although I'm not triggered by it I find detailed descriptions of people's sex lives unnecessary and likely to attract perverts to the sub. Keep the details to yourselves ladies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/21 03:21 PM
10

You know OLD gets trashed a lot on this sub and often for good reason. However, the absolute worst and most inappropriate introductions I've ever had have been from friends. Married people often think that just because they know two single people they should introduce them. They also tend to hide very pertinent information b/c they don't want to jeopardize their relationship with their friend. I know what I like and feel much better doing my own vetting. I have a lot more experience doing that t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/21 03:08 PM
15

Maybe check the flair before you read a post. If you see NSFW, Male Depravity or the like, skip it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/21 02:28 PM
6

I owned two homes and lived on my own or with my ex-husband for 25 years. Now I'm in my early 50s and back in my childhood home with my 80 year old, long widowed mother. I could live alone if I wanted to (and did for over 10 years) but I'm in a very high cost of living area and it's difficult for most people here to do that, and my mother, although in good health, no longer feels completely safe on her own. It's been a good solution for both of us. I'm in the middle of changing careers due to CO…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/21 02:23 PM
5

Exactly
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/21 11:33 PM
65

Never ever give men the benefit of the doubt. You will regret it every time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/21 07:01 PM
39

I've tried to make it my mission to let women know that chances are slim that they are at fault. It drives me crazy when I see women beating themselves up and diagnosing themselves as codependent or thinking they keep picking bad men. Most men are not relationship material. Any so called codependent behaviors exhibited by women usually occur after being abused and gaslit for a period of time. In the meantime the woman is going to traditional relationship advice people and therapists who further …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/21 06:51 PM
33

Good lord. She could be sisters with his ex-wife Christina. I guess he's not actually over her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/21 05:31 PM
151

I agree, this is rape. Rape by deception is a concept that has been brewing for a few years. I know someone in NJ was trying to get a law passed. I don't think it happened. Here is a link about the story. The main issue is proof that the deception was intentional and not that the man just "changed his mind" about the relationship after some period of time. I don't know what the answer is but I agree that men should face consequences for conning women into sex by lying about themselves or the rel…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/21 04:02 PM
288

Yes, when we believe it's just a few bad apples we can start to blame ourselves for choosing wrongly. It took me a long time to come to this realization (long before FDS) because when I would talk to friends and even therapists about my experiences with men they would spout all of the popular psychological jargon. Tried to tell me I was codependent (I'm not) or that I "had a bad picker" or that I was a fixer. Everyone wanted to believe it was something wrong with me despite my being a responsibl…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/21 01:12 PM
1

Here is a free pdf of the book why-does-he-do-that.pdf | DocDroid
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/21 08:47 PM
290

" Anyway, this whole trend really irritates me." It's not a trend. This has been going on forever. Their arguments are incoherent and disingenuous, but it's how they roll. Too many younger women fail to see what guys are doing here and fall for it. Looking at it objectively it's men grasping at straws to justify their behavior and try to turn the tables. I see it as DARVO - Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender. Cool fact DARVO is one of the premier tactics used by sociopaths.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/21 03:47 PM
15

My thoughts exactly. This video is really off putting and offensive. I'm getting flamed for saying it but I don't care. I'm tired of the TikToks. Although I'm happy younger women are seeing the light there is a definite lack of mature consideration and nuance, especially in this one. It's one thing to talk tough when you're in your early 20s. I was married a long time and now been single for a decade. If anyone thinks it's easy to make new friends in your 40s and 50s they're wrong. Sure a great …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/21 02:12 PM
7

You can have an opinion on your personal happiness. That's not what this video is about.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/21 12:41 AM
0

I'm not in my 30s. I'm 53 years old.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/21 12:40 AM
0

Where did I say I was in my 30s?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/21 12:39 AM
-7

There is nothing uplifting about that video. It's arrogant, short sighted and cruel. And no, she is not only talking about a relationship with a man. Watch it again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/21 08:56 PM
-26

Why? I have critiqued what she said. And yes, she is too young to be giving anyone else life advice as a supposed professional. Go ahead call me names and downvote me. It just proves my point.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/21 08:52 PM
-23

Nope. She has no life experience. She can't be older than 22. Who is she to give anyone else advice as a life coach? People need other people. We are a social species. You want to live your life like a fucking sociopath and suppress any desire for human connection? You think that is psychologically healthy? Let's see how tough she's talking after living a few decades. She is clueless. Nobody should ever pay her for life advice. By her own logic why should they need her or anyone else?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/21 08:44 PM
28

Just wait.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/21 08:38 PM
-31

No. How old is this woman? Too young to be anyone's life coach for sure. No life experience herself. It's easy t talk tough when you have no fucking idea what life can throw at you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/21 08:32 PM
10

He's lying. This is not at all how it works. If she had assets acquired during the marriage he is entitled to half just as she is entitled to half of his. If he doesn't want to pay child support he can be the custodial parent. Yeah, divorce sucks. Usually both parties end up worse off because now there are two households that need supporting. Men need to stop being so butt hurt over this. Anything earned and accumulated during the marriage is jointly owned same goes for debt. They just don't wan…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 10:49 PM
64

It was unheard of when I was in my 20s and 30s - I'm 50 now. Also, a man requesting anal was extremely rare and the thought was that he was probably a closeted homosexual. It was definitely not a normal thing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 09:49 PM
7

If course he doesn't
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 07:18 PM
10

Love that show.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 03:27 PM
51

That explains it perfectly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 03:22 PM
115

I saw that on GMA. They framed it as an extended family now all working together to keep B in her home and around those who loved her instead of a nursing home. I think even her daughter was ok with it? I don't think the girlfriend was 100% moved in, she lived there part time - but still... Look, if her husband was really that lonely and B was essentially gone from a mental perspective he could have had a discreet relationship with the girlfriend and I don't think anyone would have blinked an ey…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 03:19 PM
18

For a while some women were trying to get laws passed against "rape by deception." Basically, any consent given was based on fraudulent assertions and therefore invalid. I like the concept but the execution of this could be very tricky and even end up hurting women if men tried to use it against us. Without hard evidence of deception it would come down to he said/ she said.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/21 07:03 PM
1

No I'm not. I suggest you do some reading. You are up and down this thread being defensive and saying things that are demonstrably false.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/21 06:59 PM
9

50/50 is a generally feminist ideology, and although there may be books that advocate for men paying while also claiming to be feminist, feminism typically has been about equalizing gender roles. No. Feminism is not about equality. It is about liberating women from the patriarchy. A primary tenet of 2nd wave/radical feminism is making sure society acknowledges and provides for the very different needs of women due to our actual or perceived reproductive capacity. Therefore, 50/50 is absolutely n…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/21 06:49 PM
27

It's their representative. They know 100% who they are showing you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/21 03:10 AM
113

Gamers are a no go. No excuses. I'm tired of saying this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/21 03:05 AM
27

This is an important comment. Many of us are not just heartbroken from a normal relationship that didn't work out for normal reasons, we are traumatized from being conned and knowing that our very real feelings of love and connection were not reciprocal. He never really felt the way he said he did. It was all lies to manipulate and use us. None of what happened was genuine. There is a very different mental process going on here. Our sense of reality has been challenged. Nothing is what it seemed…
/r/askFDS04/02/21 05:03 PM
12

My ex-husband was like this. He greatly exaggerated his knowledge and abilities. It got him in trouble more than once and I suspect he lost a job because of it after we divorced. I think this is a sign of their narcissism. Some, like my ex, actually believe what they say and will exhibit extreme rage when they are shown up (delusions of grandeur.) Others are pathological liars, also a symptom of psychopathy/narcissism. It is a disturbingly common trait amongst men.
/r/askFDS04/02/21 01:25 PM
29

Your dad isn't a pickme, he is a misogynyst.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 03:59 PM
7

I once matched with a former NBA player. On the dating site he listed himself as 6'7" I googled him and every single official stat had him as 6'6"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/21 06:02 PM
5

Me too. Sadly I know many women who are currently experiencing emotional, psychological and financial abuse but don't think they are in abusive relationships because he hasn't actually hit them. Often the man has been violent in others ways, destroying personal property and threatening to harm pets seems to be pretty common.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/21 05:39 PM
151

I was in a similar situation and stayed far too long, 17 years. Those years ground me into dust. Like you we went through extensive marriage counseling. The truth is that it isn't that your husband can't change, it's that he doesn't value you or your marriage enough to want to change. This is not a reflection on you but unfortunately the way the vast majority of men in our society view women and relationships. The best advice I can give you is to not be like me. Get out now before you've wasted …
/r/askFDS01/02/21 02:51 PM
18

Porn stars, onlyfans and cam girls are prostitutes. They are selling sexual access to their bodies. pros·ti·tute/ˈprästəˌt(y)o͞ot/📷Learn to pronouncenoun a person, in particular a woman, who engages in sexual activity for payment. Similar:sex workercall girl courtesan male prostitute rent boy call boy gigolo model escort masseuse grande horizontale fille de joie proworking girl tomwoman on the gamerenterhookerhustlerhoputatartstreetwalkerwoman of the streetslady of the nightscarlet womanchippymo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/21 08:06 PM
90

It's called PROSTITUTION there is no such thing as sex work.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/21 02:25 PM
70

Yes, yes they do. "Women have very little idea how much men hate them." - Germaine Greer
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/21 02:19 PM
8

Not many. If you want to earn a high salary you have to play along. I made a lot of money while I did. Eventually I struck out on my own and became an entrepreneur. I did alright for almost 15 years, never made the money I did before but loved what I was doing. I recently lost my business due to COVID. While I ran my own business I tried to support other women as much as possible. Set things up as a win/win. If the business did well we all shared in the profits. I hired 99% women. You know what?…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/21 08:58 PM
9

I entered the professional corporate world over 30 years ago. The game is still rigged against you. We live in a patriarchy. I wish you luck. Many women have done what you are trying to do and have not succeeded in effecting significant change. The corporate world is not structured in a way that makes sense for women, especially not women who have children. You can't change the patriarchy from within. It is literally built on the subjugation of women and exploitation of our labor and can't succe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/21 08:37 PM
78

Was he drunk, intellectually challenged or both?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/21 06:31 PM
12

So you did a shit ton of extra work to prove to management that you're just as good as the men. This is how women burn out. Being in denial about the reality of men because it is difficult to think about and accept does not change that reality. I don't mean to shoot you down but you are hardly the first woman to do what you are doing in the professional sphere. You may see some temporary benefit from trying to beat them at their own game but in the end you will lose. Many of us have been at it f…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/21 06:29 PM
9

I agree.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/21 05:34 PM
51

I agree with you 100%. I'm in my 50s and have been divorced for a long time. When I was younger I was well aware there were bad men out there, but I never believed they were the majority. Well after decades of terrible experiences with men I can tell you with certainty that good men are as rare as hen's teeth. The men I met through business and dating showed me who they were and I believe them. Men are much, much worse than you can imagine. If you accepted the reality and kept this in the forefr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/21 03:20 PM
134

They are. Case in point: it was the older female nurses who broke the Jimmy Savile pedo scandal in the UK.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/21 01:47 PM
37

I suggest you read the FDS handbook. Also, IMO gamers and anime fans should be a no go. You seem young. I would recommend developing different hobbies and interests.
/r/askFDS28/01/21 02:10 PM
22

Isn't Thailand a destination for "sex tourism?"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 03:19 PM
22

Many of the marrieds have no idea that their husbands are on OLD pretending to be single.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 03:07 PM
11

I am like the childfree women you know. No regrets at all. In fact I feel a huge sense of relief that I never had children every time I read the news.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/21 03:15 PM
7

I could have written this. I'm in my 50s now, long divorced and childfree by choice. Wouldn't have it any other way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/21 03:07 PM
3

Lol! I started boxing when I was 43. I'm over here rolling my eyes at you young girls.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/21 02:42 PM
26

Look up "tone policing." You're doing it. Coddling pickmes doesn't do them any favors. She will learn in her own in time - the hard way. Telling women to "be nice" is what got most of us into trouble in the first place. No sis, just no.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/21 02:12 PM
15

Yup. I'm in my 50s now and I NEVER feel bad about putting a scrote in his place. They can see it in my eyes and most of them don't even try to pull anything over on me anymore. Stop with the guilt. It is pointless and it doesn't even make you look like a better person in anyone else's eyes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/21 08:31 PM
93

FDS is the sole female only dating advice sub on Reddit. It is hated by many other subs, including subs like TwoXX and Feminism (also run by men.) Just posting on FDS is enough to get you banned from many other subs. FDS is anti-porn and pro woman. That's all it takes to be considered a hate sub by most of Reddit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/21 08:13 PM
31

That sounds like a good plan and more than fair. Also, never forget that you are the prize. I wish I had resources like FDS and Deborrah Cooper when I was your age. It would have saved me decades of pain. Stick to your guns and you'll be just fine.
/r/askFDS22/01/21 01:12 PM
36

Correct terminology: PROSTITUTION and PROSTITUTED WOMEN AND GIRLS There is no such thing as sex work or sex workers. Let's call it what it is, not by the euphemism coined to hide reality.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 01:58 PM
51

I worked in a similar field. All of my male clients also developed inappropriate crushes on me. I had to get rid of a few of them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/21 03:44 PM
102

I'm 53. It hasn't stopped.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 01:35 PM
29

Hard pass. No anime and no gamers. No exceptions.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/21 01:01 PM
8

This ^^^
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/21 12:50 PM
24

Men are not your friends.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/21 02:08 PM
1

First thing to untangle is what attracts you to someone so abusive in the first place. Most of the time it’s because you’ve had trauma in the past and have become codependent Oh, I read it. Very few people are attracted to someone who is abusive out of the gate. Your estimation that most people who are targeted by narcissists have issues that would make them want this abuse is incorrect.
/r/askFDS14/01/21 06:38 PM
6

Narcissists TARGET all types of women and are highly convincing. Past trauma is irrelevant to becoming their target, nor does being targeted by a narcissist indicate codependency, which btw is a term that is over used and misused. She's out after a couple of months. I'd say she did a good job. Stop the victim blaming. It is NEVER the abused person's fault. She was deceived. It can happen to anyone.
/r/askFDS14/01/21 02:11 PM
17

Telling that they view healthy relationship dynamics as "effort or sacrifice." Someone who cares about you should ENJOY doing things to help you feel contented and secure.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/21 03:14 PM
3

Thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/21 02:38 PM
35

She's got the ick. There is no coming back from that. I hope she gets out of that marriage.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 03:43 PM
138

Men never want to be friends with women. They ALWAYS have an ulterior motive, which is getting into your pants, yes they will play the long game. Learn this young and don't forget it.
/r/askFDS05/01/21 01:45 AM
25

Did you convert to Islam before or after you met him?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 01:26 AM
27

I was married from age 26-43 had beautiful homes and financial prosperity, but my husband was a narc and almost destroyed me. I divorced him. For the past 10 years I've lived alone it has been a struggle financially, but still better than when I was married. I had a modest rented home, but it was my space and everything was as I liked it. Now I've lost my business due to COVID and have moved in with my widowed mother, it's still better than being married. My mom and I help each other out with di…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 02:33 PM
18

I never liked that book either. My reasoning is that it seemed to be giving tactics to "manage" a man. I don't want to do that, ever.
/r/askFDS26/12/20 02:42 PM
13

I was going to post the same thing. The solution for narcissistic abuse is to go no contact. The victim is not responsible for the abuser's behavior, nor can they change it. The so called "codependent" behaviors often only appear after months or years of being subjected to this type of abuse, they are not inherent in the victim. Also, codependency is a term that is misused 99% of the time. It was coined to describe behaviors of people in relationships with substance abuse problems.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/20 02:40 PM
100

I know too many women, myself included, who thought they had low libido. We did not. The problem was our partners at the time. With the correct partner our libidos came roaring back with a vengeance.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/20 02:28 PM
21

My covert narc ex husband behaved well for 8 years before he started his campaign to destroy me and grind me into dust. Trust no man.
/r/askFDS23/12/20 01:28 PM
29

I can deny it. I have had some truly horrific experiences with men I met IRL through common interests and friends. Those same men are also on dating sites. Don't kid yourself. The problem is not OLD, it is men and their behavior.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 09:05 PM
21

And it's the same guys you meet in person. There is no special pool of HVM that we have somehow overlooked. The worst experiences I've had have been with men who were supposedly vetted by friends.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 09:00 PM
4

Men are not friends with women for friendship until they're about 60. Sis, not even then. I know from experience, it never ends.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/20 02:05 PM
14

They are not oblivious. They know exactly what they're doing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 01:40 PM
10

Don't make the mistake of thinking men become abusers through experiencing trauma. Very often they have no significant trauma and enjoy hurting and dominating others. It is their nature. Think about it. Many woman have experienced extreme trauma, we use insight gained from it to heal and often help others. We do not use it as an excuse to harm other people. Most men completely lack empathy. Proof? See porn use and peruse any male dominated subreddit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/20 12:18 PM
14

There most certainly IS something wrong with anyone who spends their weekends playing video games and watching anime.
/r/askFDS17/12/20 11:32 AM
27

I live in one of the most expensive zip codes in the US. My neighbors are wealthy and educated. It is also a sea of LVM who cheat, have addictions and treat women terribly. Money and education do not a HVM make.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 07:49 PM
40

I loved Joan Rivers, and no, not much has changed. OLD is not really the problem, the problem is men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 08:12 PM
30

True. I was married for almost 20 years. The last three years I stopped talking to him in any meaningful way. He didn't notice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 02:33 PM
33

Some of them? Sis, they ALL know what they're doing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 07:33 PM
16

Exactly. This is also why camming and Only Fans are prostitution. Having a screen between you and your customer doesn't change the transaction, selling sexual access to your body.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 01:02 PM
17

This ^^^ I'm in my 50's, let me tell you about the boyfriend I had in high school from 1982-1985. His body was ripped from the gym, rock climbing and ice hockey. He read books and could play almost anything on the piano by ear. He was also teaching himself guitar at that time. He could cook. He was awesome in bed. We would often spend hours in bed making love (yes, I said it) napping, cuddling, listening to music and laughing. My orgasm was always first - always. He wasn't a perfect guy by any m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 02:09 PM
2

I have been single for most of the past decade except for a 10 month relationshit I had a few years back. Like you I found out this NVM had another woman in a different state for the entire time we were together. I was the 'official' girlfriend who he was public with and brought around family. I found out about her and broke things off with him. Even though he was no great loss what really stung, and if I'm honest, continues to bother me is the deception. Knowing that everything he said to me wa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 03:18 PM
42

Gamers are pathetic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 02:51 PM
8

Yes. And then there are the mothers who think they will raise their sons to be better. No. You. Won't. Even the best mothers cannot fight all of the other influences around their sons. The only way men will ever become different is if men themselves decide they want to change things. We will not see that change within our lifetimes if ever.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 12:57 PM
22

These boys are telling you the truth - believe them. This is exactly what they think of women. Better to learn this early in life. It was not a joke.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 01:45 PM
1

They are just a man, no special label necessary.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 01:28 PM
7

This woman is a major libfem. She thinks "sex work" is like any other type of work. She disgusts me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 12:45 AM
15

Sounds perfect! I'm happy for you. I've been looking for this type of relationship for 10 years since my divorce. No luck yet.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/20 11:21 AM
6

This is a case where the internet can be your friend. Change your focus from IG model types to yourself. I recommend the following. Start practicing yoga. Yoga with Adrienne on YouTube has a lot of different short videos. The benefits of yoga are numerous. You will focus on what your body can do and how it feels instead of how it looks. A regular yoga practice can cure IBS, it did mine. Yoga also promotes mindfulness which will help with any rumination about your appearance. After some time (tak…
/r/askFDS27/11/20 12:29 PM
41

That can happen from jerking off too much. Peyronie's Disease. It's a thing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/20 11:44 PM
17

Lol! If I really like the guy it doesn't bother me. We are all aging every day.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/20 11:00 PM
20

In my experience there is a general loss of tautness in the scrotal sack after 30. Some have it worse than others. I'm in my 50s so I think my sample age skews higher than yours.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/20 10:53 PM
81

Ladies, our breasts may sag after childbirth, but men's balls start to sag around age 30. Many of you are young and have not yet encountered this in the wild. Take it from a veteran, these dudes really need to shut up about our bodies and take a good long look in the mirror, front and rear view.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/20 09:51 PM
20

What does any of that have to do with my relationship with this man and how he treated me? Sexism is a huge problem across ALL races and ethnicities. You'd think someone who experienced one type of oppression would recognize when they are advocating for another. Do you think black men can't be sexist towards women of other races?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/20 06:19 PM
95

Years ago I briefly dated a man who initially claimed to be a feminist ally. I am white and he was black. We broke up because I caught him in several major lies. His parting words to me were that I would end up alone and no man would want me because I'm a feminist. Here's what I said to him: "Dude, you are black. I'm sure you believe black people shouldn't be discriminated against and should have equal rights in practice as well as under the law. What the fuck do you think feminists want? Think …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/20 04:32 PM
14

Describes me perfectly. After my divorce and post divorce dating disasters I started researching narcissism. I studied NPD and other personality disorders for years. Sadly, I'm an expert on the topic now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/20 09:38 AM
19

Just want to point out that the issue really isn't porn (although it should be abolished) and apps, it's men. They are CHOOSING to behave this way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 12:34 PM
36

Beyonce is a huge pickme. There is nothing feminist or empowering about her. She was groomed since she was a teen by her mom and then Jay-Z. She never had a chance to figure out who she was or be in charge of her own life. I don't get the impression she is all that bright either from interviews I've seen. I have no idea why so many young women look up to her. Compare the music and voices of artists like, Whitney Houston, Anita Baker, Chaka Khan and numerous others to Beyonce, they blow her out o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/20 09:44 PM
10

What? How are women responsible for solving the problem of male violence? This sub is about navigating dating and avoiding abuse while doing so. You seem intent on coming here to set up strawmen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/20 09:21 PM
13

I think you have a fundamental misunderstanding of what is meant by HV. It has nothing to do with the 'dating marketplace.' Being HV is about character and integrity, the specifics of what that means may vary by person depending on their values and goals. "But in the long term the number of HVM will simply dwindle down to zero without our active influence." It is not women's job to rehabilitate men. We HAVE been doing this for decades to no avail. FDS helps women be the best they can be. Being i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/20 09:04 PM
19

No. There are some women who want marriage and children. FDS helps women vet potential partners and avoid being abused and/or strung along. All studies show that married men have better outcomes in terms of finances, health, longevity and reported happiness levels. The same is not true for women. In fact single women have better outcomes than married women. In that sense women are the prize - we improve men's lives. In general they do not improve ours. Men are never the prize. However, most of u…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/20 08:13 PM
17

They are not the prize. However, numbers wise there are many more HVW out there. That's an unfortunate fact. More of us have our act together.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/20 07:56 PM
44

Only one point of disagreement. I know many women who become much more attractive as they age. They start to know better what styles work for them. Losing baby fat in the face reveals their bone structure and many start to take diet and exercise more seriously. If you take good care of yourself there is no wall for women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/20 06:54 PM
65

I think matchmakers exist to con well to do single and divorced women out of their money. There is no pool of HVM that are willing to pay a matchmaker. Wealthy, marriage minded men have no trouble at all finding partners. I went and had a consultation with one of these agencies years ago. They used high pressure sales techniques to try to get me to sign a contract that guaranteed nothing except a few introductions. Their fee was based on the maximum amount they thought I could pay. During the co…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/20 06:48 PM
88

"We" do not get pregnant. Only the woman is pregnant. If it isn't too late she needs to get an abortion. She is saddling this poor child with a father that never wanted them and tying herself to this scrote for life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/20 06:41 PM
5

WTF? How can you be exclusive with someone you've never met?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/20 03:08 PM
21

I actually listened to this a few days ago. The guys did an decent job interviewing him, but IMO the questions didn't go deep enough. Here are some question I wished they had asked the incel. How did your mother feel about your escalating hatred for women and how did that affect your relationship with her and your home life. Was his father present and if so why did he not discuss his issues re: social awkwardness with him. Why is the goal always sex? Does he now think it's disturbing that he did…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/20 02:03 PM
35

Can confirm. I didn't have children but many of my friends who did are heartbroken over how their sons turned out - despite their best efforts to raise them to be good men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/20 01:52 PM
3

I've gone on dates during COVID. Outdoor dining dinner dates. Perfectly safe.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/20 06:58 PM
84

When a relationship is 100% online it is not actually a long distance relationship. Never consider yourself in a relationship with a man you don't see in person on a regular basis. These types of situations require zero effort from the man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/20 04:14 PM
15

This is why I don't believe in forgiveness. It's just another way to subjugate women. Fuck that shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/20 01:54 PM
1

Happy Birthday sister Scorpio woman. My birthday is today :) One of my girlfriends is taking me to lunch today, another is cooking me dinner tonight. I'm about to go for a nice long run. I might fit a nap in as well. Perfect birthday with no LVM to ruin things.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/20 01:48 PM
4

Even then many don't realize it. They are able to compartmentalize what they perceive as different "types" of women in their minds - see also The Madonna/Whore Complex. I have gone on dates with many men with daughters who still behaved like absolute pigs. When I ask them how they would feel if a man treated their daughter as they did me they become enraged and start calling names, you know "bitch," "whore." This has happened multiple time to me and my single friends.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/20 01:21 PM
2

I tell every single woman I know, a few married ones too. Some just aren't ready to handle the truth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/20 01:16 PM
31

I disagree. There are some things that are unforgivable. Not forgiving doesn't mean being bitter or resentful. There are many people I don't forgive for things they've done. It doesn't hold me back one bit. In fact it serves as a reminder to never let them back into my life again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/20 12:52 PM
16

I got one too from a man baby who said men who provide are simps and women should support men. 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/20 12:04 AM
48

Being triangulated with a dead ex through a plush toy for two decades. She also cleans the bear for him. Sounds as if she's married to a toddler. There is no way in hell I'd ever have sex with a man like that. Disgusting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/20 09:48 PM
26

Dating in a red state is damn near impossible.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/20 09:43 PM
22

If a man with assets happens to be short on cash he needs to use his credit cards until payday. You aren't an ATM.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/20 09:40 PM
21

It is shamefully common. I've never done it but I know other women who have. A few guys tried it on me and I shut them down fast. There are quite a few grown men living parasitically off of women, sometimes their mother, often the girlfriend or wife. In the past men took pride in being a provider or even a big spender. It made them feel more manly. Now they are acting like big babies, having women take care of them. They are emasculating themselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/20 09:36 PM
12

Girl, gamers should be a hard no. Artists are highly suspect too, most are flat broke and looking for you to subsidize them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/20 01:59 PM
7

Exactly, and I did some of the work myself to keep the budget down.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/20 11:06 PM
11

You can't protect your children forever. They do grow up and leave.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/20 10:44 PM
14

One of my exes took over a month to make a minor repair on a toilet in his mother's house. I supervised an entire build out for one of my businesses, 3000 sq ft facility. Project completed in six weeks - ahead of schedule and under budget. This was not even my field of expertise.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/20 10:37 PM
56

You sound very young. Learn this lesson now - men are not your friends.
/r/askFDS10/11/20 11:46 AM
69

This is not an uncommon thing. A lot of men get turned on by our pain and tears. My high school boyfriend was like that, back in 1983.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/20 05:36 PM
15

I have had incredible sex, but I'm of an older generation. Never, even from when I first became sexually active in my teens, would I have accepted a man not putting my pleasure first. If a man was bad at sex or selfish in any way I would put a stop to it right there and NEVER see him again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/20 12:36 PM
39

This is the answer. Men are masters at one thing - projection. Everything they say about us is really about them. Start to analyze their words with that in mind and you will be astounded.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/20 01:08 AM
87

This all sounds nice, but please understand this is good manners 101. Don't be impressed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/20 12:35 PM
5

I'm embarrassed for her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/20 12:46 PM
24

In the future don't explain yourself, block and delete.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 11:47 AM
28

Unmatch, no response needed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/20 09:48 PM
7

I'm sorry to tell you that you are being used. He is making 4 times the money you are. This man is cruel. Get out now.
/r/askFDS02/11/20 03:55 PM
6

Yes. When I'm running in the park married men pushing strollers are the worst oglers. Their wives are right by their side as they do it. I'm in my 50s, divorced and childfree. The lack of stress from men and children gives me plenty of time to take good care of myself, sleep, diet and exercise and it shows. Each time I'm drooled at by a 30-something married scrote with a dad bod pushing a stroller with his exhausted, run down wife trailing him I thank heavens I'm not her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/20 01:52 PM
3

Exactly
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/20 01:43 PM
5

My ex-husband said this. He thought he was a great husband because he didn't hit me. For context, this was an upper middle class man with a masters degree. He wasn't the only husband in my circle to say this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/20 12:23 PM
18

Thank you for filling us in. Women all around the world support you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/20 10:21 AM
5

This is true. I live near the beach, they try it all of the time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/20 01:27 PM
12

That is why those labels are ridiculous. They also are insulting to gay people who fought for gay rights. There are only three sexualities, hetero, homo, and bi. Why the f*ck are these people with made up sexual 'identities' such as demisexual and 'ace' marching in pride parades? They need to get a life and stop thinking they are oppressed for normal human behavior or indulging in some messed up kink.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/20 10:57 AM
3

I wrote a post like this a while back. I have three different autoimmune disorders that are thankfully mostly in remission since I've been single. Even so I have experienced piercing headaches, rashes and night terrors at different time while dating men who turned out to be narcissists. Your body will tell you exactly what is going on. Listen to it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/20 01:45 PM
13

I don't even understand what I'm seeing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/20 12:46 AM
45

I ask myself that daily. Although having been married for many years to a narcissist I can tell you there are things way worse than being cheated on. Heterosexuality is a curse.
/r/askFDS27/10/20 06:26 PM
127

I think this is the case 99% of the time. I've contemplated doing a post on FDS about infidelity but have held back because it is a sensitive topic. Now of course there will be exceptions to what I'm about to lay out, but 5+ decades of life experience and talking to both men and women abut this topic has revealed a few things. When Men Cheat Most of the time men cheat when they can. They do not want to get caught and aren't looking to leave their relationship. Often the woman they cheat with doe…
/r/askFDS27/10/20 03:37 PM
4

Because they were just playing you. It's a game to them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/20 12:41 PM
5

Oh, he understood perfectly. He was 'spinning plates.' You weren't his first choice. When his plan A fell through at the last minute he was hitting you up. Never think these scrotes don't know what they're doing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/20 12:28 PM
86

I thought that for a while, but the more I think about it it seems to me that internet porn is a much bigger problem. The type of porn men are watching is extreme and violent and they have it available 24/7 on their phone. The cam girls and Only Fans girls aren't helping either. They are devaluing all of us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/20 10:03 PM
227

No, it didn't used to be like this. When I was a teen and young woman boys and men took us on dates, and paid. Most of the time the guy became your boyfriend, no question about it. There was no such thing as hooking up or FWB. In college some people had one night stands but it was pretty rare. I only did it once and the next day the guy sent me an enormous bouquet of flowers. He wanted to continue to see me but I wasn't interested. This was in the 80s and early 90s. When I re-entered the dating …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/20 09:50 PM
1

Yes, forgot to mention she is hilarious 😂😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/20 09:16 PM
24

There's a distinct difference between wanting to live your sexuality without shame, and having no sexual boundaries in the name of sex positivity. Exactly. I haven't had sex in over a year. This makes me feel sad. I really enjoy sex, and I've definitely got some skills. Luckily, I have never encountered men with hygiene problems that so many younger ladies seem to find. However, the men I have been with, even if they are good in bed, all seem to have a serious case of Madonna/Whore Complex. They…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/20 07:57 PM
12

There is one guy, Stephan Laboussier that seems reasonable but if you really listen to him he's full of it. He likes to make out that women are just as bad as men and that our problem is that our energy is bad because we are untrusting. My favorite YouTuber is a woman, Deborrah Cooper. She's not for everyone. There's a lot of tough love in there, but she's not wrong. The way I see it is men have gone on a global campaign of self sabotage when it come to dating. They have absolutely destroyed any…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/20 07:45 PM
10

He's the only male relationship advice YouTuber I will watch. The rest of them are full of shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/20 07:30 PM
66

I'm old enough to remember what sex positivity was originally meant to be. During second wave feminism women began to talk to each other about how their sexual needs were not being met. Many women had never experienced an orgasm, even after being married for decades. There was an incredible amount shame and ignorance surrounding female sexuality and desire. The sex positivity movement was meant to change this. Women learned about their own bodies, what they looked like and how they worked. We al…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/20 07:23 PM
46

I'm sorry this happened to you. This type of behavior from men is at epidemic levels. It hurts - a lot. I often listen to Deborrah Cooper on YouTube. She gives great advice about relationships, but she pulls no punches. Deb is savage. Sadly not all of us are naturally like that. If you are dating with honesty and good intentions these days you will be destroyed. You can never let your guard down. Men have completely changed what dating was meant to be and have damaged countless women and childre…
/r/askFDS25/10/20 05:58 PM
18

In defense of older women, I am one, we DO tell younger women to stay away from older men. Unfortunately they often don't believe us and think we are bitter and jealous and that our time has passed. I would encourage younger women to be more respectful towards older women. We have already been where you are and most of us are trying to help. Men love to pit women against each other in any way they can. They will use age, race, economic status and whatever other means they can. Their MO is Divide…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/20 01:26 PM
2

I'm so sorry he did that to you. It's cruel and very painful. These men are monsters.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/20 11:13 AM
6

IMO you can't learn much about someone through texting but 48 hours is plenty of time for them to ask you on a proper date. What they suggest for a date tells you what you need to know in most cases. Nothing good comes from dragging out the texting period. When I date I do so with purpose. I only deal with men who are serious about going on dates as well. This weeds out timewasters.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 06:50 PM
-4

You will never influence those industries. They are much larger than you. Wake up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 09:08 PM
44

Btw why are gamers such awful boyfriends/husbands? Because men who count video games as one of their main interests or even their identity (gamer) are in a state of arrested development. Video games and cartoons (anime) are not healthy adult interests. These 'men' are stuck in an adolescent stage of development at best and do not have the emotional maturity or intelligence required to be in an adult relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 01:51 PM
7

I'm a white woman and I won't date white guys either. I was married to one. After my divorce, when I started dating I went out with a few. Granted, I do live in the deep south (not from here though,) but 95% of them were racist, conservative Christian, sexist Trump supporters. Dealbreakers. I've since dated mostly black men. My black girlfriends don't think much of black men. They have the reputation of being cheaters (often true.) However, based on my experience, which is fairly extensive, blac…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/20 04:28 PM
9

Childfree and in my 50s. Best decision ever.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/20 01:52 PM
7

And neither did OP.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/20 01:08 PM
12

Females....
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/20 11:44 AM
5

Nailed it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/20 11:28 PM
31

Nope, watch it again. She is telling him exactly what she needs. He is gaslighting her, is selfish and only cares about what he wants.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/20 11:35 AM
4

More times than I can count. And that's why I'm single.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/20 11:11 AM
56

I really feel for younger women. I'm in my 50s and although I've yet to meet a true HVM I can say that I have had amazing sex in my lifetime. Men used to take pride in their skills and being able to make a woman orgasm. It didn't used to be like this. I rarely came across a man who was selfish in bed. I blame porn.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/20 10:52 AM
10

Did you date my ex husband?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/20 10:45 AM
6

Can we please stop using the term 'sex worker.' These are prostituted women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/20 01:15 PM
12

Wow! Most of them look fantastic. If only straight guys could put in even half the effort...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/20 12:49 PM
82

I used to live near a segment of the Appalachian Trail. There were other good hiking trails in the area as well. When I was in my early 20s I would often go for day hikes alone. I loved hiking and being by myself in nature. I had a few close calls with creepy guys on the trail. Now I'm in my 50s and will be moving back to that area soon. I've so missed being able to go hiking whenever I wanted and am looking forward to being able to do that again, but at the same time I'm older, wiser and much m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/20 08:40 PM
3

No. Saying a religion is oppressive is not shaming the people in that religion. I am not against one religion. I am against all religions. All of the major world religions treat women as inferior to men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/20 08:26 PM
1

Thank you for this. I'm sorry for what you have endured and hope you will have freedom and peace of mind when you are able to work and leave your parental home. You deserve so much more.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/20 06:49 PM
2

I'm not shaming anyone. I'm criticizing the religion. There is a difference.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/20 06:15 PM
5

I'm not a dude. You are in denial, but hey, it's your prerogative to submit to an oppressive religion. I choose not to.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/20 03:37 PM
4

No I am not cherry picking. It doesn't matter how Islam is taught or practiced. What matters is what the source texts say. The contents of those texts are overwhelmingly sexist and consider women to be of less worth as human beings than men. The same is true of all other major religions.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/20 03:28 PM
6

You are cherry picking to support your bias. On the balance there is much more written in Islam about women not having the same worth as men. What you are calling empowerment is at best benevolent sexism.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/20 03:18 PM
6

Have you actually read the Quaran or hadiths? I have. Islam absolutely does not empower women. For the record neither do any of the other major religions.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/20 03:08 PM
0

There is no religion that is safe or empowering for women. If you change the basic tenets of a religion to make it more palatable to you are you really practicing that religion? Religion has been used as a tool to keep women submissive and second class for thousands of years. I understand this statement makes many women feel uncomfortable and even angry - but it is the truth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/20 03:05 PM
44

There is no such thing as 'sex work.' The correct term is prostitution. Don't think the change in language wasn't intentional.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/20 02:47 PM
21

A 'figurine from their favorite show?' WTF? Are these people 12 years old?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/20 02:42 PM
27

I learned a new term today 'malicious compliance.' Describes it perfectly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/20 02:15 PM
40

Yes, they're pretty much all homosocial. They don't seem to like much about us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/20 05:58 PM
13

I posted an exchange with a LVM once. The difference is I didn't respond to him. The purpose of my post was to highlight his inappropriate language and to show that the way to respond is block and delete. Here it is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/20 12:58 PM
8

Don't talk to strangers.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/20 12:13 PM
10

The last time I purchased a car my salesperson was a woman. It was a fantastic experience and she was top notch in making me happy and ensuring the process went smoothly. I sent a ton of business her way after that. Whenever possible find women, salespeople, doctors etc. There is no guarantee you won't have a bad experience, but the odds of it being a good one are exponentially higher than when dealing with men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/20 01:13 PM
1

Yes - textbook narc
/r/askFDS12/10/20 02:04 PM
18

This is one of my all time favorites. It's a classic!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 06:02 PM
6

It used to be really active on reddit, Pinkpill Feminism. Pretty much gone dormant after the Purge. It still exists on Saidit but isn't very active.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 03:20 PM
4

They also couldn't get a loan, sign a lease, get store credit, or even get birth control without their husband's consent. Some Ivy league universities did not admit women until 1972. It was legal to both beat and rape your wife. These were not considered criminal acts but 'domestic disputes' and often ignored by police. I know, I lived through this as a child with my mother being beaten, neighbors calling police and my father facing no consequences. This was in the US during the 1970s. Women in …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 02:42 PM
51

Absolutely. A good deal of my teen and adult life was spent in and out of therapy for situational depression and anxiety and couples counseling. As a child I was abused by my father. Through my teenage and adult years it was boyfriends and my husband who were the abusers. I am a person with a strong sense of self and a deep knowledge of right and wrong. Knowing that I was not to blame, nor deserving of what these men did to me, I stood up for myself, faced their wrath and left, even at great fin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 01:14 PM
23

Hidey Ho!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 11:55 AM
3

Yes, that is all men in general. I have met men the following ways: Through my business Introduced by friends Common activities and OLD There was NO DISCERNABLE DIFFERENCE. In some cases the men I met IRL turned out to be much, much worse than those I met online. OLD gives you the option to block and delete anyone who crosses a line. It can be much more difficult to do that when you have friends in common, met somewhere you go often or in a group activity/hobby you enjoy. It's popular on this su…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/20 07:27 PM
2

I found this website very helpful.
/r/askFDS08/10/20 11:39 AM
18

Ovarit is really good. I think there is a Pinkpill on Saidit but it isn't that active yet. If more of us join it will be.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 07:50 PM
43

I'm childfree and was married for 17 years. Although there are times I think I might want steady male companionship and sex, the reality of what I've experienced from men in my 50+ years, and the hell that is divorce make the odds of me finding someone worthy of marrying exceedingly slim. I also personally know scores of other divorced women who say they will never do it again and had they known differently wouldn't have done it the first time around. Men just don't seem to bring much good into …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 07:41 PM
3

@ This YouTuber has some very sound advice when it comes to fashion and dating. School of Affluence
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 01:19 PM
13

He pursued her relentlessly when she was at a low point in her life. He would not give up until she submitted even though she rejected him and pushed him away many times.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 01:09 PM
22

I always get roasted by younger women on here every time I say this - but the evidence is overwhelming - gaming and anime hobbies/interests are signs of arrested development. These are not adult interests and there is an extremely high probability that a man with these interests is also heavily into porn. I don't care if this sounds snobbish but being culturally unsophisticated and/or illiterate are not things to be proud of. Sure, we all like to blow off some steam from time to time and watch o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 12:50 PM
13

Scrote logic
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/20 11:42 AM
13

Been there. His favorite response? "Happiness comes from within." It was my own fault for feeling bad about him treating me like shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/20 11:40 AM
9

agree 100%
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/20 09:56 AM
62

I post this way too often, but I want to reassure younger women. Please don't be afraid of aging - coming into your own is really pretty great. I'm in my 50's, 5'6 and US size 4. I don't color my hair - it is silver and I wear it longish. I use minimal makeup. I have never had surgery, botox or used fillers. I am very happy with my appearance. I look the way I do because I make health and fitness a priority. I didn't have children and I don't stay with men who mistreat me, so stress is not takin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 11:39 PM
23

Or he contacted her first and she was returning his call. If he took the call while in bed with you that was TRIANGULATION. Another tactic of narcissists.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 12:47 AM
55

Classic devalue. He wanted to downgrade you to friend status. This is what narcissists do. IDEALIZE, DEVALUE, DISCARD. But, they like to come back and repeat the process, sometimes multiple times. That's what 'trying again in the future' means. They get a thrill out of conning you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 11:40 PM
6

No it happened because abortion was illegal in Ireland.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 05:33 PM
20

How did you FDS him? I don't see it.
/r/askFDS27/09/20 10:52 AM
14

No. He is in a much better financial position. Allow him to continue to pay for dates. If you do feel inclined to do something for him a small gesture or modest gift would be appropriate. For example, something related to his interests or hobbies, a plant, or bring a favorite treat of his to his home the next time you visit. I would not do anything more than that.
/r/askFDS27/09/20 10:48 AM
3

Have you read the Handbook?
/r/askFDS27/09/20 10:42 AM
4

I know COVID is making things difficult for people on many levels. Many of us are feeling lonely, anxious and isolated. That being said, there are MANY red flags with this situation. You do not know this person and it sounds to me as if he is stringing you along because he is bored - maybe you're bored too. Much of what he is saying to you sounds like love bombing - a common tactic of narcissistic abusers. Your intuition is telling you something is off, you need to listen to that. Intuition is r…
/r/askFDS27/09/20 10:21 AM
8

I knew before I even finished this that religion was involved. These f%$^ing people. SMH
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 08:34 PM
11

This ^^^
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 08:10 PM
61

Ladies, take it from a battle scarred veteran of marriage and dating. I've been dating since I was 12, I'm 52 now. I know of what I speak. THEY ALWAYS COME BACK Even decades later. Even though I never took any of these guys back I used to feel flattered that they still thought about me after all of those years. Now I know better. They are trying it on with all of their past exes to see who will bite. They have no remorse or regret for treating you badly. They aren't still carrying a torch for yo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 12:05 PM
14

Never think they don't know what they're doing. Fucking sociopaths.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 12:52 AM
55

In my case I was raised to believe manners and etiquette are important. There is also a culture of hospitality in my ethnic background. For example, whenever you have a guest in your home you should offer them refreshment. Never expect a guest to clean up or ask them to bring something when inviting them to a meal. If I had an overnight guest I make sure they have everything they need to be completely comfortable including toiletries in case they have forgotten something. If I am invited to some…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 11:46 AM
46

Oh sis, 😔🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 09:44 PM
24

Your assessment is correct, it is emotional sadism. I've since given up on therapy, but years ago when I still thought it was the healthy thing to do I used to go to a therapist during tough times in my life. When I started dating after my divorce I encountered a lot of LVM from all walks of life. I told my therapist that it seemed as if men hated me and wanted to hurt me. Of course she turned it around that somehow I was 'choosing' a certain type of man. This was patently false. It took me a fe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 09:21 PM
10

Great book. I highly recommend it. Things haven't changed all that much since 1848.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 09:15 PM
18

I tell all of the single women I know, young and old about this sub. Keep spreading the word!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 08:56 PM
1

Don't look to a man to be emotionally supportive. They will see this as an opportunity to violate boundaries and manipulate you. Try to cultivate friendships with women. Do you have a sponsor? Is there an all woman AA group you can attend?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 08:49 PM
7

Please read the handbook. Never spend that much time on the phone with a man Religion is no friend to women. You may feel it is helping you in your sobriety but overall almost every religion n the planet succeeds by making men closer to God and for their obedience they are allowed to rule over women. 12 years is way too big of an age gap. Run away from this guy fast.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 08:35 PM
8

Not only do we need to unionize, we need our own political party that centers women's best interests.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 11:40 AM
2

I’m sorry you’ve been through similar. I don’t understand why they have to make these situations traumatic instead of an opportunity to have something casual and fun together. They have to spoil it. They enjoy making it traumatic. I think a lot of men get off on abusing and traumatizing women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/20 09:18 PM
102

Psychological and emotional abuse cause Complex PTSD. It can take years of hard work to recover from this type of abuse. Some people never recover.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/20 11:09 AM
2

They know exactly what they're doing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/20 03:30 PM
3

I agree 100%
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/20 03:27 PM
78

want to talk about gaslighting in dating and relationships because it’s not only something pathological narcissists do. Actually, the majority of men do Could it be possible that the majority of men are pathological narcissists? If it walks like a duck.... This is a tough pill to swallow, but after being involved with men for over four decades I can't deny it. If they exhibit all or most of the behaviors of a pathology just maybe it's exactly what it looks like. The simplest explanation is most …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/20 11:50 AM
10

Men like this, and most of them are like this, do not ever get over it. Most of the highly accomplished, intelligent women I've known either never marry or end up divorced. This is also why so many men like women who are younger and less less accomplished than themselves. You aren't manifesting anything - this is just how they are.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/20 11:12 PM
5

You are not overreacting. He is trying to lower your expectations and wasting your time. 100% LVM. Block and delete.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/20 10:29 PM
36

Good Lord girl!! Why in the world would you think that? I'm in my 50's and I've never been happier and in better shape. It only gets better as you get older. I wouldn't be young again for anything. Get that ridiculous notion out of your head.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/20 10:16 AM
2

He tried messaging me a few times as well. I think he's messaged a good number of us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 11:48 PM
2

She should ask them what it's like on the other side. I guess reddit exists in the afterlife.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 06:43 PM
24

I'm in my 50's. All of the married women I know who cheated did it for exactly that reason. They had been emotionally and physically neglected for decades and their affairs were out of desperation. There are plenty of men out there who know how to sniff these women out. They pursue aggressively until the woman gives in. I was targeted by someone like this. I didn't give in but I can tell you I was sorely tempted.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 05:51 PM
2

Does he think that is an own? Big Demeanour has a little brain. Think it through Einstein. There might just be a reason women are leaving your crusty asses, even when it means economic ruin. You're really that bad - yes you are.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 05:31 PM
10

I don't think that is true. There are a lot of white women on here. I also don't think "white feminism" is a helpful term. Trust me, there are plenty of women of all races buying into the libfem bullshit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 12:54 AM
32

Its like we are second class citizens. We are second class citizens.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 11:35 AM
3

I'm just like you. I have to be physically attracted to him. That doesn't mean he must fit a certain mold, but there has to be chemistry. If there isn't it's a no go for me, even if he checks all of the other boxes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 05:26 PM
2

Or he could be jealous of the attention you are giving your pet. My ex-husband was jealous of our pets, really.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 05:14 PM
10

A true HVM will offer up a well thought out date without you having to prompt him. That being said, a common question men ask OLD is "what do you like to do for fun?" I usually answer that I enjoy trying out new restaurants. This is more than enough of a "hint." If he doesn't suggest dinner or lunch after that block and delete. I live at the beach. We get a lot of "walk on the beach" offers. I don't even respond. Unmatch and move on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 11:54 AM
1

African American
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 11:01 AM
6

I had one show up in a track suit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 11:08 AM
27

Yes, narcissists do this. It's called a pity ploy. They are trying to get you to feel sorry for them or to empathize with them. This creates a sense of false intimacy, which they will then exploit. Men know exactly what they are doing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 07:41 PM
13

Yes, they are incredibly hard to find. Please don't be naive about what your daughters will be facing out there while dating and even interacting with boys/men. Spend some time reading the posts here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 12:19 PM
10

Here is a good resource http://radfem.org/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 12:09 PM
10

Lol! She thought calling you a radical feminist was an insult? What a moron.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 12:08 PM
3

No, just bizarre and depressing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 10:19 AM
6

It shouldn't be - but it is. You cannot say that in most circles these days. Also, whatever you do, don't google "The Cotton Ceiling."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 09:25 PM
13

Look into actual feminism. ie. radical feminism. It is starting to make a come back because of all of the harm done to women and their rights through liberal feminism and gender ideology. There are thousands of amazing radfems to follow on Twitter. Start with someone like Jane Clare Jones and then add in some of her followers. It will give you hope and warm your heart.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 09:22 PM
19

This is my one reservation about the 3 month rule. I could not deal. I've had a sad encounter with a micropenis - never again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 09:02 PM
14

Girl, get rid of that guilt, you did exactly the right thing. You are not responsible for the mental health of a grown ass man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 12:00 PM
25

I personally know of a few women who were killed by their current or ex SOs. It is more common than you think. Ask your friends.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 11:55 AM
1

No. Women who are pickmeishas do not lie to men and lead them on in order to use them. They are the victims of men who do things like your brother did.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 10:21 PM
3

His behavior is, yes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 10:06 PM
1

I'm really not trying to be antagonistic. I am in my 50's and have been dating for a long time. There are a lot of people out there who think their brother, father, son etc. are good men. They only know these men within their particular context and don't know how they really feel about and interact with women. These same "great guys" are often misogynistic and abusive in their dating and romantic relationships. I get it. Nobody want to think this way about a man you love but all too often it is …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 10:01 PM
0

No HVM would ever treat women like that - even in high school.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 09:50 PM
37

"Fat Karens" What is wrong with you? Since when is this a sub for tearing other women down?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 09:49 PM
1

I'm sorry you have a LVM for a brother. All good observations.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 09:48 PM
46

Somehow I don't think these guys would feel the same if the shoe was on the other foot.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 07:14 PM
3

Allow a male to babysit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 03:29 PM
0

Please don't do that. It's the men you think you can trust that turn out to be the true monsters.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 11:56 AM
28

My gaslighting narcissist of an ex-husband used to tell me I had it good because he didn't hit me. They really do think you should be grateful for scraps.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 10:06 AM
15

Lol, in my 50s, it's still happening. Scrotes of all ages, from 19 to 80.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 12:29 PM
17

Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 06:53 PM
13

And when you divorce him he will say he was "blind sided." I urge all women here to go read the divorce sub for some eye opening tea.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 12:12 PM
49

I'm an older woman. When I was in my 20s almost all men in my age group were thin and many had six packs, but that was before video games and the fast food explosion. It's sad to see what young men look lie today.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 12:12 AM
15

Read the handbook
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/20 01:48 AM
42

Yup. I'm a very well maintained 52, no major wrinkles, US size 4, toned and fit. I NEVER see men my own age I find attractive. Sometimes I'll adjust my settings out of curiosity to see how the younger ones look, even guys 20 years younger than me look terrible.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 07:35 PM
13

I think that the ratio is 80/20 male/female. Which makes sense given the majority of narcs I've encountered are male.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 05:10 PM
13

Did you watch the video? He talks about why.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 04:35 PM
15

The guy interviewing him is the one with the platform, not him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 02:53 PM
32

I have been told they're rare but don't believe it. I have encountered many men who are very similar to this guy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 01:23 PM
38

I suspect he is in therapy because it was mandated by the court. He repeatedly says he cannot be trusted.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 12:29 PM
17

It's called the bro code.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 12:18 PM
53

Because they're cowards and idiots. On average, men have 40% more upper body strength than women - fact. They are also taller and heavier. A man hitting me, an average sized woman, would be the same thing as me beating up a small child, maybe a 9 or ten year old. How is that equal?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 10:34 AM
4

The only people stopping them are other men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 12:11 AM
23

It's been around way longer than Boomers. Go look at some silent movies - also see The Honeymooners with Jackie Gleason. Shakespeare was also guilty, Taming of the Shrew.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 10:57 AM
154

I'm older, in my 50s, and constantly telling young women on here that men are not your friends. Too many of you don't believe it yet - but you will.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 06:02 PM
20

I've been taking a break from dating for a long time now. I live in a medium sized city in the southern US. Every time I go back on Bumble I see the same guys. I run out of men to swipe on within an hour of reloading the app and get the message that there are no more men in the area that fit my criteria. There don't seem to be many single men in my age range (40-60) in my area and hardly ever any I swipe right on. I recently went to visit relatives in the NYC area where I grew up. Thought I'd se…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 05:56 PM
5

Oh it's real. I'm sorry to say I've experienced it multiple times. They think that if you like them there must be something wrong with you. Men are really messed up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 07:28 PM
75

True - also remember to thank those women who fought for the rights you now enjoy, the first and second wave feminists.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 12:40 PM
2

I agree. I've always had it together. I value and love myself. Early on in life I was unaware of the true nature of men and I got some bad advice from my mother and grandmother about dating. Because of that I overlooked things that should have been red flags - but no more. I was married for a long time to someone who was not right for me and mistreated me. I divorced him and I've been single and dating on and off for about 10 years. I'm in my 50s, happy with my appearance and I've had two very d…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 05:25 PM
9

If you were with a HVM you wouldn't be asking that question.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/20 01:13 PM
14

You cannot know he is a HVM, only time will tell.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/20 01:01 PM
9

WTF? Is that doughboy sitting on a toilet with dirty laundry in the background? Scrotes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 11:55 AM
81

So many out out there who are compulsive liars. They lie even when they have nothing to gain from it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 11:46 AM
16

She might change her mind when she becomes morbidly obese and diabetic from that diet.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 06:26 PM
8

I came here to say this but you beat me to it. I will not be called "dude."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 06:18 PM
4

Read the handbook, please.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 09:12 PM
51

There is so much wrong here I don't even know where to start.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 09:07 PM
26

I've noticed men seem a lot less "manly," especially the younger ones. They are soft and doughy, don't work out and have poor social skills. I think there are a lot of factors, internet porn and online dating are big ones, but I also think there has been an attitude shift. They expect to be taken care of instead of being proud to be able to provide whether that be financially or with traditionally male skills (fixing thing, building things etc.) Parenting has changed a lot from when I was young.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 08:36 PM
9

A week is way too much time. If it was a real work issue and he wanted to meet her he would have rescheduled immediately. He's lying.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 08:23 PM
11

You are not in a relationship. He is using you for sex. Read the handbook and stay far away from this LVM.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 08:12 PM
8

Perfect description of my ex-husband - a Pisces - my first and last.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 07:50 PM
16

Geminis and Leos have been my worst experiences. Gemini was flat out insane, For some reason Leo men seem to be very attracted to me, but then end up wanting to dominate me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 07:49 PM
31

I dated when I was younger too. Guys my age weren't like this then. To my knowledge older men weren't either. I've noticed an alarming shift in how men approach potential romantic relationships in my lifetime. What's happening now is not normal.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 07:45 PM
3

No. They never change.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 04:51 PM
4

Never waste this much time writing to a LVM. He does not care and it is likely he will not even read what you wrote.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 11:36 AM
44

You may find this hard to believe but there are several states in the US that do not require you wear a helmet.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 11:31 AM
7

Demisexual is not a real thing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 06:48 PM
13

If you get old with a man chances are you will be the one taking care of him. If you get sick or senile he will pawn you off on someone else. There is also no guarantee that any children you have will take care of you. I know plenty of older women who had children that never see them. Take care of yourself and your own health and you will be fine. There are things far worse than being alone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 11:16 PM
61

Beauty is a double edged sword. It may make it easier to attract men, but it doesn't make them treat you well. The most beautiful women in the world are routinely cheated on and abused. Your looks will also change quite a bit as you get older. There are many beautiful older women, but even so men will often choose a less attractive woman if she is younger. Men like women they can control and manipulate. In relationships your beauty will lose it's novelty fairly quickly. I don't really think ther…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 10:12 PM
18

Prostitution had been renamed "sex work" to make it more palatable to a broader cross section of women. The reason they are offended is because you've struck a nerve. They may tell themselves "it is a job like any other" but they know that it isn't. Nobody wants this for their child. No parent has a baby girl and hopes she grows up to be a stripper, cam girl, call girl or street walker - and yes, all of those things are PROSTITUTION.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 11:58 AM
14

Disgusting
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 11:51 AM
21

No. I don't allow myself to be treated poorly, yet still come into contact with many assholes both professionally and personally. I don't allow those people access to my time or attention or to upset me like they used to. Sadly, I haven't been "attracting" good people. That has nothing to do with me and everything to do with the state of things in the world. The power of attraction idea is dangerous new age woo that inevitably leads to self blame when you have negative experiences that are beyon…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 11:48 AM
73

Also why you never date a "gamer." Pathetic, who raised this POS?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 11:35 AM
37

It's not just white dudes either. This is men from all ethnicities when it comes to women's rights.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/20 11:40 AM
15

I've just completed menopause. I didn't have any real issues and now I'm period free. It's fantastic. It's also great not having to deal with hormonal fluctuations affecting your mood and appetite. Oh, and I get better results from my workouts too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/20 09:23 PM
17

You need to understand the difference between criticizing prostitution itself versus the women who become involved in it. These are two different things.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/20 11:16 AM
9

There is no such thing as "sex work." It's called prostitution and no, it isn't like any other type of work.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/20 11:14 AM
23

Let's call it what it is - PROSTITUTION. The recent rebranding of prostitution as "sex work" was deliberate. Language matters.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/20 11:12 AM
22

This is a classic red flag. Please read the handbook.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/20 11:06 AM
11

Disgusting
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 11:23 AM
10

I like to cook and I'm really good at it, baking too. I used to cook for men. They don't appreciate it, take it as a given, and almost never reciprocated by doing something thoughtful for me. Now I save all the deliciousness for myself and my girlfriends.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/20 11:03 AM
10

I'm an older woman. You are both way too young to get married. What's the rush? Both of you should complete your education and establish a career. Then, if you are still together start talking marriage.
/r/askFDS23/07/20 10:40 AM
70

This is 100% true. The best sex I ever had by far was with a man that never criticized my body or appearance and only complimented me. One time I hadn't seen him for a few months and I had gained a little weight. I mentioned it. He told me that he thought I looked sexy and he "liked me a little thicker through the hips." Now this may or may not have been true but what he did there was smart. He took an insecurity of mine and turned it into something he found sexy. This man was an asshole in many…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/20 11:26 AM
22

They are vile. It is a massive psy op to keep women an underclass.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 09:57 PM
135

It's exactly what it looks like. Most men hate us and derive pleasure from hurting us. Proof? Go visit Pornhub.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/20 11:55 AM
74

I have never heard of this before. It's completely ridiculous. The woman is the prize.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/20 01:05 AM
9

No. This is not a relationship. You are being used. Please read the handbook.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/20 04:52 PM
14

Jesus Christ! What the hell has happened to our society that young women think any of this is even remotely acceptable?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 10:24 PM
18

I'm in my 50s. I get plenty of male attention, maybe even more than when I was in my 20s and 30s. Difference is I don't care. Most men are ridiculous and not worth my time. There are much more important things in life to focus on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 10:15 PM
36

So many things wrong with that profile I don't even know where to start.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 09:28 PM
44

If there is no spark keep moving. You can't fake attraction.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/20 07:09 PM
100

My ex husband was jealous of our pets. I kid you not.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/20 07:07 PM
17

I'm in my fifties. Nobody ever asked this when I was younger and I've not been asked this recently either. I don't get it. It's nobody's business.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 08:49 PM
25

The powers that be would like you to think that. Makes it easier to coerce girls and women into doing these things. The change in language was very deliberate. Selling sexual access to your body, whether physical or visual is prostitution. Ask yourself, if a woman goes to a hotel with a man, charges money, and performs solo sex acts while he watches and masturbates is she a prostitute? If yes, what is the difference between that and doing it online?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 08:35 PM
77

When I was in my early 20's I dated a guy who was horrible to me, cheated, lied and even once held me at gunpoint in a drunken rage. He later married and had 3 daughters. He also now has a granddaughter. Throughout the past 30 years he has continued to periodically contact me. I did speak with him once and asked him how he felt having daughters after how poorly he treated me and any other women. He laughed and said he watched them like a hawk and kept them busy with sports to keep them away from…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/20 12:01 PM
28

This is 100% true. I'm older and know many women who have persevered for their children, made terrifying choices and struck out on their own with NOTHING to get themselves and their children away from an abusive man. These women are resilient. They rebuild their lives and careers and thrive - as long as they stay away from men. Many men on the other hand continue blaming their shitty behavior on one (self reported) traumatic event - such as being cheated on by their college girlfriend. They will…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 11:07 AM
-4

Nope. Reread what she said.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/20 12:31 PM
-3

Though being an outspoken Atheist, nuns are the effin coolest and I have the highest respect of them. Nuns as a whole are not too cool. You may find a good one here or there. Perhaps you aren't very familiar with Catholicism or how harmful the church has been to women since it's inception. That is my point and there is plenty evidence to support it. Read up on it a bit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/20 11:58 AM
54

This is exactly the point of The Beauty Myth, a book written in 1990. Add up the time, money and energy women spend on these treatments and products. It is considerable and can reach well into the high 5 or even 6 figures for many women over a lifetime. Your supposed higher salary for conforming will not make up for this loss. It is possible to look your best without spending your precious resources on artifice. Focus on exercise, healthy eating and getting enough sleep. Not only will you look g…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/20 11:13 AM
1

Like the one's who ran the Magdalen Laundries? https://www.history.com/news/magdalene-laundry-ireland-asylum-abuse There are millions of people who have horror stories of being abused by nuns as children in Catholic schools.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/20 10:53 AM
42

Correct. The opinion back them was that man to man sex was actually superior to sex with women. True love was between men only. Women were only for making babies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/20 10:54 PM
48

I could have written this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/20 03:31 PM
4

Agree 100%. I've never seen a man become a better person from therapy. Lundy Bancroft also addresses this in WDHDT.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/20 11:17 AM
4

I believe it is although I don't know what it's called.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/20 11:02 AM
8

It's called having a Y chromosome. Most of them are like this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/20 10:56 AM
2

He's 58 years old...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/20 03:11 PM
59

I'm sure he thinks he's being funny, but it's just disgusting. No quality woman would even entertain someone with such a lame and clueless sense of humor. I'm sure going on a date with him would be a veritable cringe fest.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/20 11:49 AM
1

That's your personal opinion. My opinion is that those interests are childish and I consider them a red flag. I really have no idea why you keep trying to tell me you disagree with me. I really don't care. It seems as if you're trying to convince yourself. Why do you even care what i think?
/r/askFDS19/06/20 12:05 AM
16

yes
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 09:54 PM
1

Why do you feel compelled to justify yourself to me by telling me all of this information? I'm not stopping anyone from doing anything. If you want to date grown men who watch anime, play video games and like superhero movies have at it. In fact I think that would be a good match for you. Personally, I wouldn't touch one with a ten foot pole.
/r/askFDS18/06/20 09:29 PM
17

Agree 100%
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 08:03 PM
11

In other words, treat men like toddlers. WTF are these people thinking?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 07:58 PM
2

Disney and all other cartoons were initially designed to entertain children. This is a fact. To remain invested in this entertainment form as an adult displays a lack of maturity and failure to develop more sophisticated interests. In other words -arrested development. Also, Disney has probably done more than any other franchise to promote "princess culture" which has been deleterious for an entire generation or two of young women. I think it is incredibly strange that grown people n their 30's …
/r/askFDS18/06/20 07:35 PM
1

Oh, I get it. Cartoons are for children.
/r/askFDS18/06/20 06:57 PM
44

Its a great decision. The world today is beyond messed up. To bring other people into it because you want to experience motherhood is unbelievably selfish. I'm 52 and childfree by choice. It is by far the best decision of my life. Many women I know have told me they regret having children. That has to be one of the worst regrets to have.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/20 03:39 PM
11

Are you pursuing age appropriate women with similar levels of education and career success as yourself?
/r/askFDS16/06/20 04:59 PM
11

So that means you are considered above average. What's the issue?
/r/askFDS16/06/20 01:22 PM
21

Go outside and look at couples you see on the street, in stores, in the park etc. What you will see 90% of the time is very attractive women with at best average looking men. Very few men are objectively "hot" after 30. This doesn't seem to dissuade women from dating them. Work on your personality, be a decent person, treat women respectfully. Go on dates with a goal of getting to know her, not getting her to have sex with you. You might be surprised what happens.
/r/askFDS16/06/20 10:57 AM
1

My intuition is right 100% of the time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/20 11:23 AM
27

I used to be a finance manager in an international corporation. The men who reported to me would not ask for help if they didn't understand something. They would often wing it, getting it wrong, or not do the assignment at all, rather than asking for help. This in turn would mess things up for everyone else in the department because our tasks were dependent upon one another's output. it resulted in missed deadlines and extra work for those who had to "clean up the mess," in other words, women. W…
/r/askFDS13/06/20 12:32 PM
12

Promoting prostitution is not promoting women. Yes, I entirely reject any man who thinks prostitution is ok.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 11:06 AM
11

Go look at his tweets. He is pro-prostitution. His bio says he is the "gender columnist" for the Guardian. He is very clearly a man who is "feminist" in the libfem sense of the word. u/saffron25 is correct.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 10:45 AM
52

I wouldn't be at all surprised if he's hitting her up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/20 11:01 PM
3

Lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/20 01:22 PM
14

Nah sis, you'll see the truth one day. No man is your "friend" unless he wants to have sex with you. Also, I'd bet my last dollar he uses his "friendship" with you to make his girlfriend jealous. It's called triangulation. Open your eyes, stop throwing other women under the bus and don't be a pickme.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/20 10:28 AM
33

I always made it very clear to any man I ever dated that if he didn't like going downtown it was a no go. That's a deal breaker for me. Another deal breaker is if he ever says anything negative about my body or physical appearance. If he does that we are done. I've never had issues with men sexually because I make my requirements clear. No man has walked away.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/20 01:46 PM
65

Men in their 50s do it too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/20 10:55 PM
78

The lives that matter are men's lives. And their peepers./s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/20 10:00 PM
14

Never tell a man about your ex, especially not on the beginning. Many men will use your trauma against you. Also, many men will make the effort to appear HV in the first few months. Be extremely cautious.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/20 03:36 PM
15

Are there support or social groups for people living with epilepsy? You might meet a woman dealing with the same struggles. You would both have the understanding and knowledge of your condition to help each other in life. Oh, also 33 is not even close to middle age, that starts around 50.
/r/askFDS08/06/20 11:11 AM
4

The reaction guys aren't being mean. They're just vocalizing everything a fuckboy thinks while he's bullshitting you." They are being mean. They are also acting like sociopaths. It is disgusting to laugh at another person's deep pain. There is something fundamentally missing in them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 10:50 PM
3

Good luck sis. I'm sorry to tell you that you very well may be mistaken about things. Thousands of women with decades of life experience know exactly what men are like. But hey, maybe you got lucky. And for the record we may call men trash but all you have to do to prove it is look at the behavior of 90% of them, crime stats and maybe peruse this r/nametheproblem We are nothing like them, not even close.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 10:43 PM
48

It's an uncomfortable truth that NO MAN WANTS TO BE YOUR FRIEND. I have had men tell me this and I have experienced it myself. The only reason a man pays any attention to you is if he wants to fuck you. Of course you feel betrayed. I'm guessing you are young and though men and women are equal in our society and that there are good men out there. Wrong. YOU thought these were friendships, the guys saw the relationship as an opportunity for sex. I'm in my 50s. I know what I'm talking about. Also, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 09:19 PM
2

Yes. Even if it's not hentai cartoons are a very immature pastime. Develop some grown up interests and hobbies.
/r/askFDS03/06/20 11:57 PM
16

I suggest avoiding it whenever you can. Try to build a network of women. Help each other. Men are not like us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/20 10:51 PM
23

Men are not your friends, ever. They are only nice to you if they want to have sex with you. Im a 52 year old woman who had a very successful corporate career and now own my own business. I've seen it a million times.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/20 09:54 PM
56

Find a new accountability partner, preferably an older woman.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/20 09:16 PM
10

Great comment!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 11:23 AM
113

They never change. I know some men like this, they were good looking when they were young and played the field until their mid to late 40's. At that point they look around them and start to think they've missed out by not having had children. This is not because they actually want children but is about continuing their family name or their delusional "legacy." Next they find a young naive girl in her 20's to use as a brood mare. The poor woman thinks she's tamed the player and she is the love of…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 11:15 AM
12

She is fantastic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 12:04 AM
36

The divorce sub is chock full of men who say they were "blindsided" but also admit they refused to go to counseling or take their wives requests seriously. Scrotes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 12:01 AM
41

I have also heard this dozens of times. I reply "Oh really?" and raise an eyebrow. Most of them then look sheepish or give a sly smirk. They know I'm wise to them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 12:00 AM
3

Thats exactly what it is. Not one of them left for another man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 10:38 AM
9

You cannot raise your children that way and then expect them to function in the real world. I've seen the result of this type of parenting and it is troubling to say the least. If you have t do all of those things there is no point in having them. A parent's job is more than protecting children from harm. It is also about allowing them to grow in the world.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 10:32 AM
0

If it gives you any relief I highly doubt those were women, much more likely they were trans identified men. Women as a rule do not do those things. On Twitter there is a large group of men who identify as trans, furries and MAPs (minor attracted persons) and there is significant overlap between those groups. I report them every time I see them, but Twitter does nothing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 10:30 AM
95

I think you're right to be scared. I don't think it is wise to bring children into this world. People ARE getting worse and more sociopathic and it is becoming much harder to achieve financial security and home ownership. I'm childfree and in my 50's. Not having children was the best decision of my life, for both myself and the children that weren't born.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 12:08 AM
3

I hope you saved screenshots of your conversation so you can be honest with his girlfriend.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 09:23 PM
30

I can confirm this is true. I know countless women getting divorced in their 40's up through their 60's. They've had enough and they just want to enjoy the rest of their lives in peace.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 08:21 PM
39

Men are not your friends. They do things like this on purpose because it amuses them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/20 10:06 AM
15

Me too
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 09:44 PM
1

I wish women would understand how buying into this culture is harmful. I recommend reading The Beauty Myth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 11:14 PM
-7

Are women talking about makeup brands here? For real? What a waste of money. Invest in your 401K or a Roth IRA. Don't be stupid.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 08:49 PM
1

Thank you! Great video, it was spot on. I think I had every one of those physical issues at one time or another. I really like Dr. Ramani. Her series on this topic is terrific.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 11:04 AM
-5

Yes. Cartoons and playing dress up are for children. Edited to add: How hilarious is it that I'm being downvoted for this? I will reiterate, these are childish interests. Ladies, if you refuse to behave like grown ups and indulge in these childish pursuits you will end up with like minded men. Good luck with that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 06:11 PM
4

Couldn't agree more
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 03:01 PM
16

Its a very immature interest besides the creepy sex factor. I would be very wary of ANY adult so enamored with cartoons. It's bizarre and a sign of arrested development.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 01:51 PM
18

Right. Also all throough this lockdown Amazon has been delivering things to my doorstep a couple of times per week.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/20 01:48 PM
32

"We" don't get pregnant. Only the woman gets pregnant. I wonder if she understands that now? This woman is on her own, even if she doesn't realize it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/20 01:46 PM
12

Not only does it exist it is worse than it was hen I was a young woman 30 years ago. Thank you internet porn.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/20 07:07 PM
2

Now that is the truth
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/20 06:37 PM
1

You are a very confused person with muddled thought processes. I'm not going to interact with you on this any further. It's fruitless.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 09:24 PM
1

Sorry, I"m not going to stop thinking highly of myself. What an odd thing to say to someone. These are not my opinions. The things I've said are facts. You're just offended by them. That's your personal issue.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 09:17 PM
3

Where did I say all religions were Abrahamic? I have studied many religions, the Abrahamic oned as well as others. And yes the vast majority of them are misogynistic. It's a fact. I'm not going to debate with you. You are uninformed and its not my job to educate you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 09:04 PM
4

He's lying to you. Dump him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 08:35 PM
2

Girl, you're all over the place. Please leave this LVM.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 08:30 PM
1

It's a no go for me. They are probably into porn too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 08:19 PM
4

Hilarious. "Pray for us." He'll probably use his "faith" to guilt his wife into forgiving him. Love it when people use their religion like a get out of jail free card. I'm sure their pastor will be "helping them through it" too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 08:12 PM
1

R: Your edit. You're still wrong.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 07:42 PM
36

I'm old enough to be your mom. If I've learned one thing in life it's that when people send you hate for standing up for yourself and your standards you know you're doing something right. Haters gonna hate. When you hold up a mirror to someone and they don't like what they see they will attack you instead of correcting themselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 11:41 AM
2

🙄🙄🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/20 09:44 PM
2

Libfems like you are the reason women of the world are in such horrific states. Radical feminism supports porn, supports hookup culture and supports going dutch and all those things that have resulted in the misery of women. Who is showing their ignorance here? You don't even know the difference between liberal and radical feminism. Just stop now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/20 09:42 PM
0

If you feel offended don't engage with me or reply to my post. You have no right to censor what I say. If you have a problem with what I wrote take it up with a mod. I stand by my comments on religion being detrimental to women's liberation from patriarchy. I also stand by what I said about a sudden conversion from atheist to born again Christian. I've seen it more than once and religious psychosis is a real thing. If anyone is acting like a LVM here it is you not me. You are making things perso…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/20 09:35 PM
1

How have I offended your beliefs? Acknowledging that Abrahamic religions have subjugated women is a basic tenant of radical feminism. That is not my personal take.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/20 09:21 PM
43

A HVM would not take advantage of kindness, generosity or your insecurities. Not being a pick me protects you from LVM.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/20 09:18 PM
0

Nah sis. I'll say what I want. Have you actually analyzed what you believe and why you believe it? I can make a feminist critique of religion all I want. FDS is not about women becoming tradwives. And yes, a sudden and intense turn towards religion is often a sign of mental illness. Especially when a person was previously atheist.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/20 09:06 PM
11

Nope. Those men are excatly the same as they were before. They will treat the new woman the same as they did you. It's just a matter of time and it makes no difference that he married her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/20 08:58 PM
57

Men treated you badly because they are abusive animals. You put up with it because you were a pick me. A HVM will not mistreat a woman - even if she is a pick me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/20 08:56 PM
2

Most religions see women as second class and inherently sinful. That is the truth. They also impose many more rules on women than men. Religion is no friend to women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/20 08:22 PM
6

It's very rare for someone to go from atheism to born again Christianity. IMO his conversion displays a lack of critical thinking skills. He's not intelligent enough for you. I promise you that you will look back at this and shake your head. Another possibility is that he is mentally ill. Many schizophrenics become hyper religious.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/20 01:19 PM
9

How him watching porn makes you feel is only one aspect of his porn watching. He is deriving sexual satisfaction from exploited women, many of whom are drug addicted and trafficked. It doesn't matter which "type" of porn he is watching or whether or not you deem it to be tame. Anyway, he's probably lying to you about the amount and type of his porn use. You have no idea what he is watching other than what he admits to you. He is displaying a lack of empathy and the inability to self reflect. His…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/20 01:08 PM
12

Definitely a man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/20 12:25 AM
12

She's evil incarnate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/20 12:21 AM
9

Me too. Lol!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/20 12:16 AM
159

In the past women would blame themselves for being treated poorly. We were told our "picker was broken" or that we chose men who were projects. This instills shame and secrecy. Well now we are talking to each other. The truth is that we weren't unlucky and we didn't pick bad guys because of our personal flaws and issues. The reality is that the dating pool is overflowing with garbage and there is nothing good to pick from. The more we share our stories, the less shame other women will feel for b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/20 08:25 PM
13

I saw that. She was tiny compared to him, at least a foot shorter. It would be like me knocking out a 9 year old size wise. Shameful cowards.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/20 08:13 PM
2

You are supposed to read the handbook before commenting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/20 12:19 PM
32

He is such a mental midget. I laugh every time I hear him speak.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/20 12:02 PM
4

They are looking really bad. I'm in my fifties and would like to date a man somewhat close to my own age. The last time I was on Hinge I set my preferences to age not being a deal breaker. I would get men of all ages in my feed. On Hinge you can't see their ages unless you scroll down. I can't tell you how many times I thought I was looking at a guy over 40 only to scroll down and find out he was under 30. It's rough out there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 11:44 PM
12

Abusers target everyone. They are opportunistic. It has very little to do with your personal qualities. They will exploit any trait they can whether it be positive or negative. There is likely nothing about you personally that makes you particularly attractive to abusers. There are also many, may more abusive men out there than we were taught. In fact I believe the majority of men are abusive. It's part of our culture.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 12:34 PM
7

All Abrahamic religions believe women are inferior to men and inherently "sinful." Modern versions of those religions may try to whitewash that fact but it is still 100% true. Ask yourself, what is the purpose of purity culture?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/20 03:22 PM
16

The rise of liberal feminism IMO is due to a lack of critical thinking skills among those who consider themselves libfems and the commercialization of feminism. Women like Beyoncé are not feminists in any sense of the word. Younger women have been duped into believing this garbage and need to do some actual reading of second wave feminists (yes, many of them were black, Flo Kennedy for one, and lesbians.) To buy into the trope that second wave feminism is/was "white feminism" is foolish and unin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/20 01:31 PM
34

This article is from a conservative, traditional Catholic blog. FDS women are self sufficient women, we are not aiming to become tradwives. The philosophy here is actually based on radical feminist principles ie. protecting women from being exploited for their sexual and reproductive capacities. Although we may align with conservative values in superficial ways our reasons for doing so are VERY, VERY different.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/20 12:31 PM
181

I think this is a lovely gift. Someone else here in the comments said jewelry is useless. It most certainly is not. She seems quite young and they've been together a year so I think this gift is totally appropriate and very sweet. Traditionally men would give women serious jewelry on special occasions and especially after giving birth to a child. Part of the reason for this was that in the past women could not open bank accounts or get credit on their own. Their jewelry was their insurance. If t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/20 08:14 PM
22

I really like that idea. I'm quite a bit older than the average poster here. I remember how men used to behave before the internet existed and my expectations of men are more in line with those times. It's clear from many of the stories we see here that the horrible behavior we see these days has been normalized for younger women. They do need to see examples of appropriate behavior. A "raising the bar" flair is a terrific idea. I think there is an important distinction to be made between accept…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/20 01:18 PM
3

Be yourself. Men are attracted to women - period. Trying to be someone you aren't will only attract the wrong type of man for you. I have many friends who never wear makeup or feminine clothing styles and they had no problem finding boyfriends and husbands.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/20 12:28 PM
18

Thank you for this. I didn't know the song. My ex boyfriend took me to meet his 92 year old grandmother early on in our relationship. While we were there he took the garbage out and left me alone with her for a bit. She started talking about her marriage. I made a comment about how it seemed they had a good relationship and must have loved each other very much. She shrugged looked me dead in the eye and told me "Trust no man." I realize now that she was warning me about her grandson. If only I h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/20 12:19 PM
41

I like the idea. I do however think that some of the things women post as high value traits are not that at all. They are baseline good manners and proper etiquette. Yes, they are positive signs but not actually indications that a man may be HV. The bar is so horribly low that women are excited about and praising men for doing the bare minimum. I think it's important to keep their behavior in perspective.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/20 11:43 AM
10

Do not emotionally invest in any man this early. Many LVM can put up a good front for a short time. IME they reveal their true nature at the 6 to 8 week mark - exactly like this guy did. The only way you will know if a man is serious is to take your time. In the future do not agree to exclusivity this early.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/20 11:35 AM
30

HVM do not watch porn - period. If he gets off to the type of porn that is available today there is something very wrong with him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/20 04:38 PM
22

100% true.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/20 04:33 PM
16

Not to burst your bubble, but this is not an indication of him being a HVM. This is baseline normal behavior and should be expected as the bare minimum.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/20 04:31 PM
4

I don't think they fail to see it. I think they believe men behaving this way is inevitable and they are balancing what they believe is the lesser of two evils. I don't agree with it at all, but I think this is their reasoning. IMO Biden is a terrible choice for many, many reasons. However, the main reasons he won the nomination is because he appeals to African Americans, especially in the south who tend to be socially conservative for religious reasons, and they think he will be able to win ove…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/20 12:16 PM
13

You don't have to explain or justify yourself to anyone. Learn not to GAF.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/20 11:11 AM
18

Nailed it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/20 06:24 PM
10

Another thing about that guy's post. When he sees a man with a woman he thinks is much younger what he might actually be seeing is a woman who has taken care of herself with a man who has not. They may very well be the same age. I know many beautiful, fit women. When I meet their husbands I'm shocked and appalled. I can't believe these woman would be married to men who look like that. Most of them have been married for decades and met in college. I used to date someone 17 years younger than me. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/20 05:57 PM
15

Yup, but they won't admit it in person because they know we would have nothing to do with them on those terms. If any man came at me with that I would laugh in his face and tell him to keep moving. I've gone on dates with guys ranging from 26 to 58. The vast majority of men who ask me out are 40ish and younger. I am 52. There literally is no wall for women. We can date as young as we want if you're into that sort of thing. The difference is that men our own age know we are onto them and they are…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/20 05:23 PM
22

Yeah, a few guys my age have tried that with me too. I laugh, block and delete. Dick is abundant and low value. If all I want is dick there are a shit ton of much, much younger hot guys willing to oblige. The sad thing is even the young ones are so pathetic and porn addled I don't even want that. Men have turned themselves into a pathetic joke.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/20 04:32 PM
31

Thank you. These guys really need to start checking themselves. I had one guy tell me he was in the process of getting divorced when that was a complete lie. I dumped him after a couple of weeks. However, I did reach out to his wife and provide her with evidence of what he was doing. Because of what I told her and showed her she hired a private investigator and got even more dirt on him and divorced his ass. He had been cheating on her for 30 years. She was grateful I told her. She had been tryi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/20 04:27 PM
28

I do expose them whenever and wherever I can. They need to be publicly shamed and other women need to be warned about them. I'm not embarrassed by how they treated me. They are the ones who should be embarrassed and ashamed. Their behavior is not manly in any way. They don't seem to realize how bad they make themselves look.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/20 04:08 PM
1

Really? I find that hard to believe. It makes no sense.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/20 01:34 PM
6

I'm 99% sure this is a troll post from a woman flipping the sexes and seeing what type of comments she gets from men. It's a clear case of give them enough rope and letting them hang themselves. Sadly, I'd bet many of the scrotes reading this are too cumbrained to comprehend.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/20 01:15 PM
4

I only did something like this once and it was different circumstances. An ex wrote me an email asking for my forgiveness and to get back together with me. However, he was also stringing along another woman he had triangulated me with. I knew this because I could see his interaction with her on IG. (caveat - if this had happened recently he would have been long since blocked which is the wiser choice, back then I used to think blocking people was childish, I did not fully comprehend how disgusti…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/20 01:02 PM
58

Yes, many, many times. They usually reveal their true nature at the 6 to 8 week mark. Be extremely cautious. There are a few that can keep the con up for much longer, years even.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/20 12:43 PM
25

Outstanding post. I spent 3 years after my divorce learning about this on my own. My "therapist" was useless in recognizing what had happened to me in my marriage and with the 2 men I dated shortly after. I read endlessly trying to understand what had happened to me and came across this book by Martha Stout, Lundy Bancroft's WDHDT and others. Sadly, since then every man I have dated has displayed a significant number of sociopathic traits. For that reason I have essentially remained single for a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/20 11:26 AM
31

Story of my life. Lol!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/20 01:27 PM
55

I think women should learn skills for themselves. I'm always teaching myself new things. I cook, bake, knit, sew and garden. I can and preserve food I grow. I can do basic repairs and DIY projects around the house. I own power tools. I can also set up a corporation and do the books, taxes, websites and online commerce for businesses. Another skill I acquired and am certified in is teaching fitness classes and personal training in several different disciplines. The only times I have "needed" a ma…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/20 12:39 PM
54

The most generous man I ever dated drove a truck. He also had a side hustle buying and selling used cars on his own. He never let me pay for anything and he wasn't making six figures.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/20 09:52 PM
15

Let's flip this. I'm 52. I the past few years I've gone on dates with a handful of guys in their late 20's and early 30's - at their insistence. They claim "age is just a number." So, OK little man, I'll give you chance, show me what you've got. Lol While these guys were nice looking and amusing to a point, they were CHILDREN compared to me. They had very little life experience, few accomplishments and no interesting hobbies. They bored me. So apart from their physical attractiveness they brough…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/20 01:28 PM
10

I've had this experience multiple times as well. It's a thing for sure. First time was when I was a teenager back in the 80's.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/20 09:22 PM
124

Hilarious! If you're not gonna dump your porn addled cumbrain this is the next best response. She should also start checking out every hot black guy she sees out and about when they're together. You know, just because she appreciates a gorgeous man doesn't mean she wants to have sex with him. Lol!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/20 11:40 AM
18

Lol, the answer is yes. The longer I stay away from men the better I look. Not kidding at all. The reason? I sleep better, eat better, spend more time on exercise and self care, drink less and have less stress. I'm at a perfect weight for me, my skin at 52 is smooth, clear and almost wrinkle free and my hair is silky and shiny.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/20 12:08 PM
3

Just ask the question. It's not intrusive. I always ask if they have children and if they've ever been married.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/20 12:34 AM
76

A higher percentage than you might think. I believe this is the inner dialogue of many. many men. Germaine Greer said "Women have very little idea of how much men hate them." That is a very old quote and it is absolutely true.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 05:55 PM
32

Could be Alabama.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 11:16 AM
4

No.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 11:13 AM
6

Exactly, my single girlfriends and I (all in our 40's and 50's) have been making quarantine care packages for each other and dropping them off at each others homes. They have included homemade face masks, freshly baked bread and cookies, toilet paper, handsantizer, etc. Basically just being thoughtful and sharing with each other. Because that is what we do - actually even during normal times we do thoughtful things for each other. The men we know - radio silent. I don't do nice things for men an…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 10:57 AM
34

I could have written this. I can't tell you how many men I matched with over the years that pulled the same thing. One guy I dated for about six weeks who had three children (I thought,) at the one month mark revealed he had another son from another woman that lived with his mother in a different state. Another guy I talked to had six children, they were ages 20, 21 and 22 - none of them were twins. Yes, three different woman, at least two of them pregnant at the same time with each pregnancy. T…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 10:19 AM
2

So you discount all of the science in the article regarding the benefits of having 2 X chromosomes? Are you saying that is false? Why?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/20 09:29 PM
1

It still doesn't seem as if you read the article.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/20 08:50 PM
2

https://www.reddit.com/r/GenderCritical/comments/ftkkc3/proven_science_women_are_genetically_superior_at/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/20 01:39 PM
2

Read the article.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/20 01:33 PM
2

Lol!!! That was my post. The MGTOWs must have mass reported it because Gender Critical sent me a message saying they were removing my post because the title did not reflect what was in the article. Um, wrong. Yes it did. The title exactly summarizes the article. Go read my OP, the text is in the comments. Someone else cross posted it to another sub which removed it because "it was not reliable information from a credible source." The article was on the front page of the New York Times and writte…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/20 01:31 PM
17

Learn this now while you are young. Men do not find beautiful women intimidating.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/20 12:44 PM
2

Fantastic response. I'm with you 100%.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/20 12:18 PM
26

I'm much, much older than you. I can't even count the number of first dates I've had that went like this. I've also been considered beautiful my entire life and I'm successful in my career so people tell me I'm "intimidating." It's not true. Not one man I ever dated was actually intimidated by me. They were just manipulative assholes. When a first date goes this well and you feel a "calm" around a man this early it can actually be a red flag. Narcissists are empty on the inside and if you are a …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/20 11:34 AM
25

"I think I intimidated him and now he is resorting to hot and cold techniques. My gut is rarely off and it’s telling me this is not a manipulator. I feel like he wants to get rid of me because I scare him." ​ Nope - sorry, he's not into you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/20 11:22 AM
2

His ex who he thought was ugly had a mental illness and was crazy. This is where your conversation should have ended. I'm sure his ex was none of those things. This guy is a textbook abuser. I really don't understand the rest of your post. This is a clear example of negging. This scrote isn't even worth the effort it took for you to write this post.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/20 11:13 AM
14

It is evil. There is nothing more evil than to intentionally work to crush another human being's spirit and self esteem. Abusers actually do suck our life force and energy from us. If you have ever experienced this type of abuse you know what I mean. Many women are sufferring from C-PTSD because of these men. This condition does actually cause brain damage and it takes a very long time to recover from. Forget about COVID, these men are the real plague and are responsible for a worldwide pandemic…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/20 10:44 AM
4

Yes, we have very similar experiences. I too started dating again in 2011. I couldn't believe how much things had changed. It's just not worth it anymore.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/20 03:20 PM
13

That after this virus created upswing of OLD, after the restrictions are lifted, and all these virtual relationships die IRL how many heterosexual women will for stop OLD permanently? All dating? How many divorces and breakups? Prior to the quarantine I was again, cautiously dipping my toe in the dating waters. I went on a few lackluster dates and matched with some men who were boring and lazy. When the stay at home order was issued I deleted the dating app. I've been home alone, with my pets an…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/20 01:26 PM
20

Absolutely untrue. I don't want to go into details of what I do for a living, but I work almost exclusively with women. I've been doing this work for decades and have had thousands of clients. They tell me things about their marriages and relationships. I can count those who had good men on one hand. Sis, just read crime statistics, look at how men treat women all over the world. You are lying to yourself out of a sense of hope and a desire to have some control over the situation. Face the facts…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/20 12:21 PM
41

It's our entire culture. You need to have innate self esteem and excellent critical thinking skills to escape being a pickmeisha on your own. Some women learn to be queens early, for others it can take a lifetime. Some, sad to say, never learn. Handmaidens and pickmes until the end.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/20 06:16 PM
9

I've heard those stats too, but my personal experience and anecdotal evidence from other women I know would put the percentage of men with this disorder much, much higher. Most people who have this do not go for help or get diagnosed because they are not suffering. They make the people arounf them suffer.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/20 12:12 PM
12

Most men are at least somewhat like this, but it seems you have encountered a full blown narcissist.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/20 12:09 PM
8

I'm 52 and living it. It's awesome.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/20 08:52 PM
2

Well good for you! There are many women on here who state that NYC is a veritable dumpster fire of LVM and who haven't shared your experience. How you are treated has nothing to do with looks and I NEVER said that. However, if you choose to earn a living from your looks as this woman has you really have to be realistic about where you stand. No, she does not fit the criteria for a "model" as she claims to be. Clearly she is a cam girl performing sexual acts for money on camera. Who aspires to th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/20 01:32 PM
4

Agree with all your points. They are both settling. 🤷‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/20 11:24 PM
4

I don't disagree with you. There is nothing empowering about this. What I took out of this was that she pursued him 100% by initiating contact through FB, . He seems to adore her and treat her well as far as you can tell from the video. She has nothing else going for her other than being pretty and being willing to degrade herself as a cam girl. Character wise he is probably the better person. I agree with you that she is wasting her life doing this, but I disagree that she is naïve, she's 26, n…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/20 09:39 PM
9

Maybe some people might think I'm grotesque and old. I'm about the same age as him. She pursued him. Also, being pretty is no guarantee that you'll find someone to treat you well. Beauty is not the type of currency you think it is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/20 03:34 PM
36

I don't know about that. NYC is a mecca for beautiful models and actresses. This woman is pretty, not beautiful. She is young and thin at the moment, but her looks hardly would make her a standout where she lives. If she wants a man to actually treat her with kindness, which it seems she does, is Mason really worse than other men out there?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/20 01:18 PM
7

Oh my. I'm about the same age as Mason and I remember him well from when he was a child actor. He really was adorable. I'm happy to see he didn't fall into drugs or crime like so many other child actors. Of course she is with him for financial stability, but their lifestyle is hardly lavish. Who knows, maybe she had enough of men using her for her looks alone. I could never do something like this, but he says his goal is to be the best boyfriend ever. Honestly, I think she is getting the better …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/20 01:13 PM
9

Narcissists love your attention, be it negative or positive. Maybe they even like the negative attention more. Shows them they got to you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/20 05:12 PM
7

This has been a thing forever. Guys call it a circle jerk. Apparently they start doing it at a very young age. Male depravity starts early.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/20 05:09 PM
4

Teach yourself how to knit. It will keep your hands and brain busy for hours.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/20 05:06 PM
3

😂😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/20 03:09 PM
1

👍
/r/askFDS01/04/20 01:43 PM
3

This is a really good documentary on YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=08CnDSQelNg&list=PLD8E5F0D70B62BEFE
/r/askFDS01/04/20 01:34 PM
2

Your friend misunderstands Taoism. Acceptance does not mean apathy. Most Eastern spiritual traditions have stringent ethical guidelines to which a serious practitioner must strictly adhere. These include things we might call self improvement. There is a distinction between the small "self" which could be described as your ego, consisting of temporary states of being such as your job, physical appearance, thoughts and feelings and the large "Self" which is your true nature, the consciousness that…
/r/askFDS01/04/20 12:24 PM
108

Just say no to hobosexuals.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 07:47 PM
8

Exactly, it's an extra big ego boost for them to think they broke up a marriage. It's all just a mind fuck with these monsters. It's a game to them. They enjoy hurting people.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 07:23 PM
21

I agree, I was in a bad marriage for a long time. There are men out there who specialize in targeting vulnerable women who have lost all their confidence after years of being in an abusive and loveless marriage. They know what they're doing. OP's "friend" isn't telling the entire story.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 06:26 PM
96

Back in the early 90s before cell phones, the husband of one of the secretaries in my office used to call his wife every day around lunch time to talk to her. The call had to go through the switchboard. The switchboard operator told me that he always asked to speak to "his beautiful bride." They had been married for at least 30 years, but that's how he saw her every day.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 11:41 AM
7

Or psychopathy. You had to go to a movie theater to see porn back then. VHS tapes were still pretty new.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/20 01:42 PM
20

I had one man suggest Olive Garden for our first date, Another one made a habit of eating at The Crab Shack, although that isn't where we went for our first date. These restaurants aren't really cheap price wise, but the food is poor quality and mass produced. It displays a lack of sophistication to like this type of food over other options. There are many ethnic and independently owned restaurants in the same price range (sometimes lower) that have infinitely better food and atmosphere. Where I…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/20 01:13 PM
51

As if men are the prize LMAO
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/20 12:54 PM
18

Tears turn men on. I realized this long ago, back in the 80s with my high school boyfriend. I didn't understand it back then but he seemed to love to pick a fight, make me cry and then "console me" with sex. Scrotes, their brains aren't wired properly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/20 12:11 PM
4

I think you are very good looking. Your height would not be an issue for a lot of women, myself included if I were 30 years younger. You have your life together and are doing all the right things. You are young and it doesn't seem as if you have much experience dating. I think that is the issue and it may be coming across when you talk to women. When you are interested in someone romantically your conversations must have the right balance of appropriate flirtation and genuine interest in the wom…
/r/askFDS30/03/20 11:38 AM
51

I was married for 20 years. The only benefit I received was the ability to accrue financial assets more easily, especially home ownership, and share living expenses. Other than that, no, it's not worth it. This may be an unpopular opinion but I don't think having children in this day and age is a very wise thing to do. If you are young you may not realize it but things in the world are going south - fast. Your children will not have the opportunities you had and in fact will be left with a big m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/20 01:22 PM
12

It was eleven for me too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/20 11:45 AM
30

Yes, this seems to be the norm these days. It's very strange.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/20 11:54 PM
13

Something similar happened to me a few years ago. Turned out he had another girlfriend in another state. We were supposedly exclusive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/20 09:27 PM
5

It does display a troubling lack of empathy on his part. That will extend to you. My vote is to dump his ass.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/20 01:18 PM
25

Lol!!! Towards the end of my marriage to a narc I would hope and pray he would meet someone else and leave me of his own accord. Alas, it was not to be. He forced me into leaving due to his vile behavior at home and came out looking as if he was the victim. Saint Jolene - I love this!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/20 01:05 PM
6

It's definitely not for everyone, but they only live 2 kilometers away from the village and she is an artisan cheese maker, he's a master woodworker and charcuterie expert. They don't depend on the homestead for their income. Granted it is a lot of work. I would struggle the most with the lack of running and hot water and the cold long winters in Sweden. But, I love how they solve problems together and do it without drama or fuss. It's refreshing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/20 11:05 AM
69

Can confirm.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/20 11:02 AM
6

Idk. Just started watching yesterday. I find it mesmerizing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/20 08:21 PM
66

Excellent reply. I am 52. Men in their 20's are always hitting me up online. I do not entertain them for the most part. I have gone on dates with men in their 20s a handful of times over the past 8 years. Of course they were looking for sex and thought I should be impressed with their youthful stamina. Well Tyler, been there done that, many years ago, before 25 year old's has porn sick, limp dicks and when they actually knew how to please a woman. I'm certainly not going to deal with their immat…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/20 03:52 PM
18

Excellent comment. Men are often very different in romantic relationships then they are with family member or friends. Most men still think in terms of madonna/whore.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/20 12:01 PM
8

If your goal is simply to get women to have sex with you, you are asking the wrong people for help. FDS is about helping women avoid men who only want to use them for sex. Most of the women here are looking for relationships and/or marriage. Also, you may be trying to date women you find attractive. Do you think a pretty, fit woman with a positive outlook would find someone of your description attractive? Work on your attitude and physical appearance. Be realistic about the type of woman you can…
/r/askFDS23/03/20 10:43 AM
27

"Intellectual conversations, however, I enjoy them very much! And those women who have studied a lot, I especially love when they listen to me (I know, it's a bit of a show-off) and we both understand each other and share ideas." Less talking, more listening and asking questions. You seem quite self absorbed. When you spend time with a woman she is giving you the opportunity to get to know her. She is not an audience for your ego.
/r/askFDS23/03/20 10:32 AM
13

Casual does not have to mean low effort or unkempt.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/20 04:59 PM
25

I know of one HVM, he has been a client of mine for over 10 years. He has also proven himself to be a friend when I was in need. This man has been married to the same woman for over 40 years. He and his wife raised two highly successful children. Over the course of his career he grew a small law firm into a large one . He does pro bono work and donates generously of his time and money to progressive causes. He personally volunteers each week in a reading program for inner city children. As a cli…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/20 04:54 PM
33

There is no excuse for a grown man to not know how to groom himself, get a decent haircut and dress appropriately. There are many examples in the media of men who are attractive well dressed and well groomed that they can look to as role models. There are also men's magazines such as Men's Health and GQ that have extensive information about how to look good. A man who cares about taking care of himself will do so without help from a woman. If he is not already doing this he is low value in my op…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/20 04:34 PM
9

I can't say when the shift occurred but I can tell my story. I stopped dating in 1991, my ex-husband and I were married in 1994. During my teens and young adulthood all of my relationships with guys lasted minimum 1 year. My high school boyfriend and I were together for three years. I only had sex with my boyfriends. There was no such thing as a hook up. Even on few occasions where sex happened very early on it turned into a relationship. We expressed our feelings to each other and loved each ot…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/20 12:52 PM
2

Thank you. I'm doing much better. I think there are a lot of us suffering from the trauma these men cause.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/20 02:21 AM
20

Thanks for responding. I have three dogs. They keep me going.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/20 02:25 PM
62

Yes, blaming women for "choosing" the wrong man makes them feel safe and superior, as if this could never happen to them. They are wrong. My ex-husband didn't become abusive until 10 years into our relationship. Everyone outside the marriage thought he was a pretty great guy. People have no idea. I once watched a talk by Lundy Bancroft about what type of woman ends up in an abusive relationship. They had done studies. The only common denominator was that they were all women. Some had come from d…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/20 12:01 PM
10

They understand just fine. The thing is they don't care. You are being abused.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/20 11:46 AM
27

Apparently, yes. Seems to be a trend. The last couple of men I went on dates with seemed to want cookies for what was basic human decency, like not lying and "being nice." Of course when they stated that they could have lied or treated me meanly I gave them no credit but only said "being nice and not lying is what you are supposed to do." It infuriated them. They still thought they were entitled to casual sex with no care or regard for me or what I was looing for. Scrotes gonna scrote. It's kind…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/20 11:44 AM
19

It sounds as if you may be a victim of narcissistic abuse. This is very different from a relationship where things just didn't work out. This is a very good resource to learn about this type of abuse and how to heal. I have been there and spent years trying to heal from the trauma. Don't blame yourself. https://www.psychopathfree.com/articles/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/20 11:37 AM
124

I think the vast majority of women are in denial about the true nature of men. Like you I think I am done. I am 52 and have been basically single for 8 years post divorce from a 20 year marriage to a narcissist. It is simply not true that there are a lot of good men out there. I have dated a lot, all different types of men. They were all abusive in some way. Most were pathological liars, a few turned out to be married. The cruelty I've experienced from these men in the course of dating has been …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/20 11:24 AM
5

^^^This...AND there are some LV traits that are genetic. No guarantee your child won't inherit them no matter how well you parent them. Do NOT reproduce with LVM. They need to be taken out of the gene pool.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/20 04:28 PM
39

Heartbreakingly common. I am in my 50s. The majority of my friends are divorced because of situations similar to this. This is the reality when it comes to most men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/20 12:03 PM
8

Are you serious? Women need therapy if they are "attracting" LVM and are the common denominator? Just wow! There are very few HVM out there. I have a lifetime of experience that proves it as does every other woman I know. Wake up sis. You are way out of line. YOU are the one not being supportive of other women and blaming them for men's bad behavior.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/20 11:42 AM
15

As she should!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/20 12:09 PM
1

Exactly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/20 12:25 PM
14

I am divorced. Shortly after the divorce I attempted to have what I called an "arrangement" with a man. We had a big age difference and were not suitable long term partners. However, we did enjoy each others company and had great chemistry and pretty good sex. He also seemed "safe" for other reasons. I was very specific about laying down ground rules that would protect both of us physically and emotionally. It turned out he was incapable of following those rules even though he readily agreed to …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/20 11:35 AM
6

After you have been dating for a while and he has paid for dates then you may choose to do some thoughtful things for him. A few years back I dated someone who was very generous with dates and in other ways as well. I showed my appreciation by cooking him meals at home or buying special treats he liked. When we were in public I always let him "be the man." He really enjoyed that dynamic. Our relationship didn't last for other reasons but we did have a conversation recently and he conveyed how mu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/20 12:12 PM
45

Nah, GenX here. Sadly, Millenials and GenZ women are tolerating much more crap than we ever did thanks to liberal feminism. It's the truth. In my early dating days (80s and early 90s) men took us out on nice dates, bought gifts and flowers and sprung for the biggest diamond engagement ring they could afford, usually something priced at three months of their salary - minimum. My ex-husband turned out to be a covert narc, however, while we were married, every day, he got up before me to make me co…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/20 11:28 AM
50

I would love to see some serious legal action with respect to rape by deception. Basically where a man convinces a woman to have sex with him under false pretenses by lying about who he is or his intentions. When a woman does not know who she is consenting to have sex with or the actual circumstances and intentions of that person due to deception there is no consent.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/20 11:09 AM
175

Yes, that is what happened. I am a GenXer. The sexual revolution was supposed to allow women to enjoy sex without shame learn about their bodies and know that they were deserving of orgasms. (See: Our Bodies Ourselves and The Joy of Sex and The Women's Room) It was never about expressing our sexuality like a man or being promiscuous. When popular culture and capitalistic influences got hold of the idea they turned it into the mess that is the libfem idea of sexuality today. It is a damn shame an…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/20 10:50 AM
35

Your experience sounds almost idenitcal to mine. It is a sobering realization. I had no clue.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/20 11:04 PM
6

Why in the world would you want more children at this stage of your life? What is your reasoning?
/r/askFDS12/03/20 06:03 PM
46

This. I know of men who have their own law firms, CPA firms and luxury car dealerships who at the age of 60 got divorced from their age appropriate wife and married a 23 year old waitress or stripper. These situations ended badly for those men, financially and otherwise. Meanwhile I also have female friends who are doctors, lawyers, professors and real estate moguls (literally) who are gorgeous, kind and empathetic who remain single because there are no suitable men available. I know for a fact …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/20 04:53 PM
17

Get off of IG. Go to a public place, a mall or busy shopping district, buy yourself a beverage, sit on a bench and look around you. Take some time to people watch IRL. Do you see anyone at all walking around who looks like those IG women? The answer will be no. The reason for that is because even the women posting those pictures don't look like that. The photos are edited and the women are wearing drag queen make up. IG is a horrible, mindless platform and provides no real value.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/20 12:03 PM
31

I have never been attracted to men who treat me poorly, although I have ended up with men who were abusers. My initial attraction was always because the man in question was kind, considerate and treated me very well, at first. That is what I liked about him. Later, when small things, plausibly deniable to him, started to happen I didn't want to believe that the man I fell in love with didn't actually exist and I hung in for longer than I should have trying to figure out what happened to that gre…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/20 08:46 PM
28

Truth. I looked way hotter at 35 than I did at 25. I'm 52 now and still have a great body and very few wrinkles. Some people might even say I look even better than I did at 35. Eat clean, exercise, get plently of sleep and avoid too much sun. I know women who look amazing at 70. These guys are really something else.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/20 12:01 PM
30

I do not take phone calls or reply to texts after 9PM.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/20 11:36 AM
13

Yes, more than once. I don't trust anything a man says anymore. Men who do this, and it is a lot of them, are creating generations of women who are traumatized and fear any form of intimacy with them. The thing is women tend to be more resilient than men. We will heal and get on with things. In the long run these men are their own worst enemies. I don't see their later years being very healthy or happy after decades of living like this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/20 11:25 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter