Hi lovelies!

This is a bit of a read. But I've seen some posts discussing dating and covid - and the possibility of a grieving partner. I have a similar case, though rather than covid, it was cancer that wreaked havoc in the life of the man I was dating. Here's what the last 2 months looked like:

I met a guy, and we hit it off. It was like coming home. Same for him. No red flags. A few weeks go by. We talk, we see each other, he took me to his hometown, etc. He even went to a party a little later to finish building my new wardrobe for me.

Next thing I know, he ghosts. Three days later he tells me his mom has cancer. He says he is terribly sorry for his absence but did not and does not know how to process any of it. He's very close to his mom - they had to protect each other from his father. He visits about once a month, and she calls him about once a week. I actually talked to her briefly on the phone before, just saying hi as he picked up on speaker while we were waiting for dinner.

Anyway, that's the last I hear of him, and it's been three weeks. He did read my response, which was along the lines of how he has nothing to be sorry for, I understand, and some words of comfort. I tell him this is a time he can be selfish, and of course that I'm sorry that all of this is happening.

Over these past weeks I have sent him several messages expressing my support, telling him I'm thinking of him and some random stuff about what I'm up to.

The last message I sent was about 5 days ago, after a week of silence. I still offered my support, but also left the ball in his court.

I can tell that for now I need to let go. Already after a week of silence I made a deal with a female friend that I would send her the messages I wanted to send to him. It helped. The experience has been mixed for me. I have a new apartment, a good job, and am surrounded by a growing number of strong HVW.

Showing him warmth and patience has been easy, and my ego isn't really harmed. I know it wasn't me. And this isn't about me. I just miss him. It's not this kind of forlorn lovesick missing. I just genuinely wish we could be around each other because it felt really healing for both of us.

With all the shit with guys I've been through, this actually hasn't made me think badly of him. I genuinely don't believe he's an LVM. I've been at the point that I can block and delete easily and don't give most guys even a second of my time. But I have been a bit scared that maybe a HVM wouldn't just retreat like that. In reality, we only knew each other a few weeks, had NOT slept together, but were moving steadily forward and were both excited about that. If there was going to be a point to break it off, it was likely the right point. He was investing a lot of time and energy in me after all.

I get that he needs to focus on his family - he's the type of person that steps up and does what needs to be done. I appreciate and respect that.

I have been lucky not to have to deal with loss. Moreover, I am not close to my family so while I cannot pretend to know what losing a parent might do to me, I think my feelings would be conflicted if nothing else, since the relationship to them is complicated.

Just? How would you ladies deal with this situation? Is it really just a case of right person, wrong timing? How does FDS look upon that?

I could really use some advice, but thanks for letting me speak about my situation either way. Stay awesome 💞