Take note

mrCNeverSleeping · 2020-10-18T04:32:08+00:00

[deleted]

Inspection-Critical · 2020-10-18T14:02:49+00:00

This extends to all areas of our lives too, not just dating or marriage.

I really decided to leave my job for a host of reasons: the company hasn't fulfilled its promises to me, and I honestly think they might go out of business. The writing's on the wall.

2 men resigned the other week. My boss complained, "Why didn't they talk to me first? We could've figured something out."

And I thought: "Why would these guys beg you for scraps we all know you won't give them anyway? Why would they try to prolong the pain when they can just get a better job that actually respects and values them?"

That was my lightbulb moment. I started reaching out to my network that afternoon.

LittleBiitchyBanana · 2020-10-18T10:21:16+00:00

Don’t waste your time ladies. You are not his mother or therapist.

hope-wallace · 2020-10-18T14:17:14+00:00

I had a similar thought a few months after learning about my ex-husband's infidelity: " what if I just hold this marriage in the same level of regard as he does?" And with that question, the flip switched for me. Interestingly, he tried to re-engage me after that but I was able to see it all as manipulation. He couldn't get me to care again.

circescircus · 2020-10-18T08:44:53+00:00

Don't we all agree with this, yes or yes?

Be ruthless in your actions, but don't explain yourself, unless you want to get death threats from scrotes and pickmes. You don't have to be cruel and unkind, just expect reciprocity, it goes a long way. Stop trying to explain yourself to unworthy people, and definitely stop trying to explain unworthy people's behavior and choices to yourself.

perkypancakes · 2020-10-18T04:39:16+00:00

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SanAntonioCacti · 2020-10-18T05:57:47+00:00

and next we will start praising narcissists for not blaming themselves for everything. 🥰

buttercup_010 · 2020-10-18T06:32:41+00:00

While I agree with not tolerating shit from anyone, there’s something that rubs me the wrong way about making men the frame of reference for a standard of behavior.

Unlikely-Marzipan · 2020-10-18T10:50:58+00:00

This is so bloody true. They don’t at all. So why the heck are we?!

Boiling_Rock · 2020-10-18T15:04:55+00:00

I consider that even when we as women try to "go", or try to call someone out on their BS, our needs and desires get invalidated. Either we get mocked, the episode that prompted our displeasure gets laughed off, either we end up being pushed, screamed and sometimes hit into submission. We also forget that walking away from a man who we have been in a relationship with for an extensive period of time is different from walking away from a man we just met. The man we have been in a relationship with often has greater power over us, whether financial or simply the fact he refuses to leave a rented apartment and we cannot do anything against it. What I will say is horrible, but it has to be said. Whenever a woman decides to "go", she needs to have thought out a plan.

(1) What will happen if he tries to physically/emotionally stop me from leaving? (2) What if he posts damaging things, which might destroy your career and social life, about me on the internet? (3) Do I have somewhere to go? How long can I stay there before I become person non grata? (4) What will happen if he stalks me/attacks me/harasses me/threatens me? Will the law be able to help me (not for stalking and harassment, I believe)? (5) Do I even have the financial resources to leave?

Does a man need to consider this many variables when he decides to just "go", when things do not serve him or when he refuses to accept something? Nah, sis. He just up and goes. His ex posts dick picks of him on the internet? He's the bro! His ex harasses him, threatens him, whatever? She is either psycho either he will get plenty of attention from the girls who have been force-fed triangulation from their earliest days. He has nowhere to crash? There are more shelters for homeless men than women worldwide.

Phoenix__Rising2018 · 2020-10-18T15:46:43+00:00

It's true

melaningoddess____ · 2020-10-18T16:23:05+00:00

Omg yes. In my past relationships I try too hard. Of the roles were reversed these men would have kicked me to the curb. Idk why I can’t seem to do the same.

throwaway631391220 · 2020-10-18T19:10:19+00:00

Can anyone translate?

Title	Take note
Author	carameals
Upvotes	1596
Comments	39
Date	October 18, 2020 4:22 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/jd9uzh/take_note/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/take-note.317997 https://theredarchive.com/post/317997

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