Takeaways from the way men drive their vehicles...

Delish-Donut · 2020-07-30T17:29:33+00:00

[deleted]

Phoenix__Rising2018 · 2020-07-30T17:03:40+00:00

It also it shows you whether they obey the law or not. I think that is an indication of your safety in the relationship if he can't even obey a stop sign or red light. That's a red flag. Also shows you if takes care of his things if the car is clean, well-maintained, and free of dents. Tells you something about how he lives his life if he can't do these things.

Pasdepromesses · 2020-07-30T17:47:25+00:00

My mom (who is absolutely no FDS'er, but very tough on guys in other ways) always casually drops that men with 'precious packages' in their car should even drive more carefully than when they're alone. If she doesn't get a visible or audible reply to that she will look them in the eye and says something along the lines of 'this is my baby, I carried her for 9 months, you better be careful'. Always cracks me up.

thighsmatch · 2020-07-30T17:48:20+00:00

I have been in a relationship with a LVM who was obsessive about cleaning and maintaining his vehicle. So I wouldn’t give a ton of weight to that.

That said, one major red flag I noticed with him and with another LVM in disguise I dumped recently was their casual attitude for driving high, buzzed, or without a seatbelt. Like what? Who does that? Is it 1950? Really a big turnoff, and indicative of bigger issues.

Delish-Donut · 2020-07-30T17:30:32+00:00

My ex was a scary driver

There would be 2 cars in front of us waiting to saftely left and turn and he would go into the oncoming traffic lane and cut them off dangerously, and was honestly using scary driving as a way to keep me quiet, and he was just impatient to “ get on his computer”. Agreed.

DarknessKitties · 2020-07-30T17:45:04+00:00

This is huge. 2 years ago I got in a really bad car accident but was able to walk away with only a bit of whiplash (rolled my car into a ditch on a gravel road) and instead of being considerate about my accident my ex used to purposely drive fast on gravel roads, purposely slide the car around on icy roads when no other vehicles were around, and would get upset when I would "drive too slow" to be cautious on these kinds of roads.

Never dating someone like that again.

MuffinSongs · 2020-07-30T18:03:59+00:00

Before I married my late husband he tried driving like a crazy person with me in the car once. Only once. I told him to pull over and let me out of the car. He figured out how to drive safely real quick. It never happened again.

Averyhvw · 2020-07-30T17:53:35+00:00

Yes, my narc ex would drive dangerously if he got upset by something, which was a lot, and this was during the honeymoon period. I hated it, and I will never drive with someone who I don’t fully trust is a safe driver. My narc dad does the same thing, but it’s to prove he’s the “best” driver, except he’s old, always running red lights (they’ll take his license away if he gets anymore), and always getting into altercations with other idiots on the road. I also had an ex bff who I found out was a covert narcissist, and she was also entitled (didn’t wait for pedestrians), ran over a squirrel and didn’t care, and also didn’t understand what “coasting” is. That last one I don’t get, they’re either pressing the gas or the brake, but no in between.

ImPiqued1111111 · 2020-07-30T18:49:58+00:00

This is so true. It sounds kind of silly, but a man who drives assertively but not aggressively is a turn on.

My ex used to follow too closely for my comfort and then have to brake too hard. I have anxiety and I hated it. When this would trigger my anxiety and I would say something, he'd yell at me because male ego. Like, the last thing you do to someone feeling anxious is yell at them ffs.

Blackishcat27 · 2020-07-30T18:58:27+00:00

Yes! 100 percent. To that I would add that if a guy is an aggressive driver stay away.

Incredible_Alligator · 2020-07-30T22:31:54+00:00

As a professional driver (my job is driving) how a man drives is a huge thing for me. Driving is serious business. Drive like an ass and you could kill someone. Also, I want to feel ok letting him drive my own vehicle if something should happen, without worrying he'll smash it or do something stupid.

My last dude was actually an incredible driver. I probably felt more safe than with anyone else I'd ever been in a car with. Unfortunately that was one of his only good qualities, he was shit at almost everything else and super LV.

subtlecuttlefish · 2020-07-30T23:11:45+00:00

This actually triggered off memories of an LVM ex which I hadn't given much thought to. My ex (who was weirdly enough not an outwardly aggressive person in any other aspect of life) used to get really wound up if for example someone cut him off or overtook dangerously, and then he would drive super close to the person to make a point. Which is completely dumb because not only is that unsafe behind a decent driver you are then putting yourself at risk for someone who has already been shown to drive badly.

My motto is "I'd prefer to have idiots in front of me where I can see em". If someone wants to be dumb they can do that and I'll keep a safe distance because it's just not worth it. I don't even get annoyed because that's just life! There's idiots on the road, it's not my job to teach them a lesson, it's my job to keep myself, my passengers and my car safe.

The most frustrating thing was he did this with me in the car. I told him many times it wasn't okay and if he wanted to put himself at risk then go ahead but stop putting me in that situation. The fact that I told him multiple times should tell you how much he respected that.

Thanks for bringing it up. It seemed more normal at the time because I couldn't drive when I first met him, but that's a big red flag now I have my license and know how dumb it is.

briefhelvetica · 2020-07-30T22:45:08+00:00

I once went on a date with a guy and he had to drive me back to the bus station (risky I know). His driving style made me feel safe, but he was still a lvm. I totally agree that it displays men's personality. One of my male family members doesn't understand that I don't feel safe by the way he drives and then gaslights me when I say something about it. And it's not that this is his only time he dismisses my feelings about certain topics.

MiaAOT · 2020-07-30T18:28:34+00:00

What is an MVM?

Whateverbabe2 · 2020-07-30T18:38:08+00:00

As long as they drive safe and their car is clean, idgaf.

Unlikely-Marzipan · 2020-07-31T00:54:15+00:00

I agree. I always look at the way a man drives his car. I always look out for careful, cautious and polite.

I had a guy once who was really into his cars and wanted to pick me up in his super supped up car. I said to him - ONLY if he doesn’t hoon, because I had been in a serious car crash before. I said it multiple times. What did he do? He waited until we got to a straight road but was still busy and put his foot down. From that point on I knew we would be going nowhere.

Rdrses · 2020-07-31T02:18:13+00:00

If he drives like a dick hes a dick

Teenie34 · 2020-07-31T04:09:28+00:00

Any time I’m in the left turn lane at an intersection with a green light but no protected arrow, there has been more than once someone right behind me who will lay on their horn to try to get me to turn left into the oncoming traffic. WTH? Do they not see there are cars coming across the intersection? Do they also not see the sign that says “Left turn yield on green?” Do they REALLY want to see me get in a multi car wreck? Every time this happens, I look in the rear view mirror and yes, it’s a man. Every fucking time. I got out of my car one time to approach the honking dude behind me and let him know that there was no protected green arrow and ask him if he could see all the cars coming across the street. I was planning to explain that a green light does not always mean you get to go. When he saw me, he jumped over into the next lane and went straight through the intersection instead turning left. Pussy.
And any time someone blocks me from making a lane change, it’s a man. Every time. They may or may not do these things to other men but i suspect they do it with far less frequency. They are bullies behind their wheels.

VioletRomantic · 2020-07-31T05:41:01+00:00

I have MAJOR anxiety around driving. I dont personally drive right now because of it. A man's ability to recognize that and drive extra safely, leave an over cautious amount of space between us and the next car, go the speed limit, and make safe lane changes extremely far in advance because sudden changes make me nervous without making me feel bad for it is definitely a HV trait to me. I've dated men before who were extremely reckless drivers and my anxiety would be through the roof just thinking about getting in their cars. Part of vetting men for me is definitely evaluating their driving.

Caedere01 · 2020-07-30T18:24:39+00:00

What? No offense, but I really don't think anyone's trying to manipulate others with their driving style. At least not by taking risks.

I agree with the fact that it shows a person's character, but if a dude is rushing to beat a red light that doesn't mean they "just want to make your heart race". Nah, girl, he's just an impatient prick who thinks risking his life, your life, potentially a few others AND/OR the safety of his car is worth the few minutes he's sparing.

Title	Takeaways from the way men drive their vehicles...
Author	Delish-Donut
Upvotes	87
Comments	42
Date	July 30, 2020 3:50 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/i0ofkw/takeaways_from_the_way_men_drive_their_vehicles/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/takeaways-from-the-way-men-drive-their-vehicles.719118 https://theredarchive.com/post/719118

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