The zero effort date - invite her to tag along while you do your errands.

totallylikeothergals · 2019-12-14T07:55:00+00:00

I cringed so hard hahaha I'm not that desperate "babe".

That creature was desperate enough tho to invite you in doing his errands. And after this he would have probably asked you to help him with carrying his shopping bags home and ooops there you are, in his flat meeting his doggo. 🤷‍♀️ Want a coffee or something? 😂

Some men are so pathetic lol

cassabell1894 · 2019-12-14T10:13:32+00:00

I can't even express in words...the low effort, entitlement and condescension. Next he'll suggest a date involving him laying there and being fed grapes by hand.

OneOnionBhaji · 2019-12-14T09:22:34+00:00

Fellow Melbournian ( I'm guessing) here. He wanted to have a shopping centre trip less than a fortnight before Christmas as a first date? Was he trying to make things as loud and awkward and harried as possible?

AstridRavenGrae · 2019-12-14T07:51:26+00:00

I often look for people who live closer to my area for dating (as I love where I live and I plan to stay in this area forever if possible). Sometimes dudes are way too chill around here though and I get hit with the drinks-at-the-pub or the walk-at-the-beach dates instead of a planned event.

Started talking to this guy last week and at first he offered up a dinner date ‘soon’, so I left that arrangement up to him. In this convo that offer instantly became much more loose - coffee this afternoon (the part I referenced about not liking last minute plans was my response to that offer), then further loosened to going to his house, and then finally meeting him at the local shopping centre.

Is there such a thing as negative effort?

I don’t need to go meet your dog - I have two of my own - and I don’t feel the need to be an unpaid shopping assistant. Bye Felipe 👋

darkhorse8419 · 2019-12-14T08:14:33+00:00

Men are garbage. “ Hey, come over to a stranger’s house”

CuriousCatNYC777 · 2019-12-14T13:58:34+00:00

Yeah LVM.

BUT...

You made yourself too available, thereby lowering your value.

You can see clearly after you mentioned that you were basically available for him all week, that’s where the conversation NOSEDIVED.

cherieblosum · 2019-12-14T11:25:19+00:00

Someone here posted that some men treat dating apps like uber eats for sex and it's so true. Who's gonna go to a stranger's house the first time they meet them? That is so unsafe and men obviously do it because they think it'll be easier to get laid.

Scotsburd · 2019-12-14T10:13:27+00:00

What a tool. Woman love to do our shopping, right? He's probably thinking this is a great date. Plus you can tell him what to get for his female relations? And maybe he can get a free shag too? Bingo. Err no sir, you do not own a solid, gold penis.

2019-12-14T09:27:05+00:00

What a douche.

pinkyberries · 2019-12-14T09:50:24+00:00

Honestly i bet he's a MGTOW. I read about how they offer women to 'join' their plans, if it's a movie or shopping and then they don't have to pay for the woman.

surviveIIthrive · 2019-12-14T14:23:44+00:00

Personally, I think any guy who is vague is a waste of time. Any guy who doesn’t comprehend the inherent danger for a woman to go to a stranger’s house is also a waste of time. I say waste of time bc it is abundantly clear these types of men are looking for low hanging fruit! As soon as he asks for you to come over he should be blocked! You already know what time it is! You may think you’re “expressing boundaries” but by even continuing to engage after he said that what you’re doing is NEGOTIATING BOUNDARIES. Guarantee you that’s what they think is happening and that’s what it looks like from a cold read. That’s why he went lower.

And I agree that telling him you’re free all week made you too available! Next time decide in advance what day you want to be bothered and give only that day as available. Narrow the options. Don’t give a Friday or Saturday availability for some guy you’ve never met. Let him think you have other plans those nights. That’s prime time. He has to earn that. Don’t respond to messages right away. Don’t seem eager. I don’t see anything wrong with a late lunch on a Sunday for example. Sunlight is a good antiseptic! Assuming he’s been respectful and clear and there’s been good convo on the phone. Pre-screen them on the phone before even stepping out of your house! Don’t go back and forth back and forth on IM or texts. Talk on the phone! One convo will reveal all!

cutiechana · 2019-12-14T15:39:21+00:00

Anytime a guy offers you to come to his house for a meetup, he is basically saying he is low value. He wants to bang. No relationship. Ridiculous.

even_thriller · 2019-12-14T19:41:57+00:00

...errands are now dates? Wtf. Nice response there sis.

grimreapersdtr · 2019-12-14T15:24:59+00:00

Wow. I thought men in the US were bad. I guess all of the UK’s “formal penal colonies” have some true winners, huh? It’s fascinating to see we have so much in common with women in Australia when it comes to men.

CeriseNoire · 2019-12-14T23:45:51+00:00

A date like a normal human being?? LoL, i'M NoT ThAt dEsPeRaTe bAbE.

The insecure fragility on that one. Disgusting.

Yeah, I'd like to meet your dOgGO, dumbass. Just bring the dog and leave.

madandunabashed · 2019-12-14T21:16:15+00:00

I adore how he was trying to act all casual and nonchalant because TRP prob told him that's how you fool women into thinking you're impressive when you're not and it just totally blew up in his face.

AstridRavenGrae · 2019-12-14T18:51:23+00:00

[deleted]

haloarh · 2019-12-14T22:35:50+00:00

I hate running my own errands, so the idea of tagging along while somebody (whom I don't really know no less!) sounds unbearable to me.

solowolfwarrior · 2019-12-15T03:52:43+00:00

On the safety side... I personally don't go to guys houses anymore until I'm 100% sure of their character (did when I was younger, thankfully nothing bad happened).

If you do plan to catch up privately, screen shot convos and profile pics and keep them on your phone, send them to mates etc.

A friend of a friend was raped by a guy she met online. He immediately deleted his profile and there was nothing cops could do.

Loiacono3137 · 2019-12-14T21:12:31+00:00

What a cheapskate and loser Jfc Glad she said no

Title	The zero effort date - invite her to tag along while you do your errands.
Author	AstridRavenGrae
Upvotes	170
Comments	70
Date	December 14, 2019 7:45 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/eagz3h/the_zero_effort_date_invite_her_to_tag_along/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/the-zero-effort-date-invite-her-to-tag-along-while.686964 https://theredarchive.com/post/686964

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