This is pick me behavior straight up. Prioritizing your partner is part of the compromise and shows respect.

LonchuraStriata · 2021-12-07T15:25:33+00:00

Well, I agree you shouldn't try to control their behaviours after you got into a relationship with them. Because you shouldn't get into a relationship with a guy like that in the first place. Dating someone while knowing he has habits like that and expecting them to change after you get serious is just stupid and never going to work. This is why we block and delete at the first sign of a red flag, incompatibility or low value behaviour, not stick around and try to build up and change a guy.

LizzoSaidTruthHurts · 2021-12-07T15:25:35+00:00

I’m at a point in my life where I’m not asking a man to bend to my will. If you want to watch porn or spend all day playing video games, that’s fine. You just won’t be doing it with me. Truly, if I have to ask you to not do either of those things, you’re not worth my time in the first place.

ShieldMaidenLagertha · 2021-12-07T15:35:03+00:00

What a pickme ass post. So desperate for approval.

Honestly I won’t even date a guy who shows an indication of interest in either of those things. I’m out the second he reveals it. I mean, wtf, who is actually like: “Kevin, now, you can only have 4 hours of porn a day instead of your customary 7.” Like he’s a toddler who’s overly enthusiastic about watching Frozen on repeat.

peacrabs · 2021-12-07T15:46:57+00:00

women not wanting their bfs to jerk off to other women "rubs her the wrong way"? ok

ImpressiveHat8550 · 2021-12-07T15:53:55+00:00

Women, by and large, don’t follow men on social media for creepy and perverted reasons. Meanwhile dudes will have dedicated alt accounts for following nothing but women for creepy and perverted reasons. 💀

I can’t wait for her breaking mom post in ten years where she “vents” about how her husband never helps with baby because he’s always playing video games and is ignoring her for his tinder account that he just uses for “making friends” of course. The life cycle of a pick me.

Patsy_Stone_darling · 2021-12-07T16:05:19+00:00

What kind of smooth brained ninny compares reading to porn and video games?!

subgirlygirl · 2021-12-07T15:30:44+00:00

"In conclusion..." 🤡🤡🤡🤡

When will it penetrate their thick beefy skulls and smooth, smooth brains that WE. ARE. NOT. JEALOUS. 😞 Christ, y'all! I have choices. I've always had choices. I've never been told or had to convince myself that something I'm doing to pay my bills is empowering. People in positions of power do not need to be reminded of it in hashtags and on picket signs.

Equal-Ear2312 · 2021-12-07T18:04:44+00:00

we all know men watch adult content and most have been doing so since going through puberty. why force them to stop becuase you're insecure?

what the F did I just read?

insecure? more like... why are we not encouraging the humiliation parade of trafficked and degraded women?

so men now come with pornography addiction and if we point it out we're isnecure?

who is the clown here? this girl forgot her big red nose!

iggypiggyfiggy · 2021-12-07T15:30:19+00:00

No way she gets picked 🤣 I agree with her you shouldn’t date these guys in the first place. Let them keep their video games and porn lmao

RadHart · 2021-12-07T17:32:16+00:00

Is it just me, or is it weird that she refers to porn as "adult videos" or "adult content?"

thinktwiceorelse · 2021-12-07T16:44:52+00:00

I absolutely agree with her. Throw the whole man away.

misandryismadeup · 2021-12-07T15:41:21+00:00

When will pickmes learn that men as a collective don’t care about women so why do you care about them?

Surely there’s plenty of other things to worry about as a woman than men with “controlling” gf.

stalient · 2021-12-07T15:59:28+00:00

She's right about it being weird to get into a relationship with a manbaby who plays video games all day. The problem can be avoided by not dating these men altogether.

bleda_princezna · 2021-12-07T16:24:01+00:00

Well, the thing is... Men will lie. The woman didn't necessarily know this in many cases. In some, maybe, but from what I've seen, it's usually not the case and the woman was lied to.

Personally, I have zero desire to change people and make them stop doing stuff they love. In my last relationship, I was told my now ex only plays video games occasionally, when he's absolutely bored and has nothing better to do.

Fast forward couple months when I started spending the weekends over at his place and then we moved in together. I was ignored constantly and he would play daily for hours, not really spending any time with me, only if he wanted to watch a movie in the evening. Sitting next to each other while watching a movie and otherwise living like roommates is not a relationship. I was not told this is what I'm supposed to expect nor was I shown this standard early on. I wasn't told he was addicted to his computer, he was careful not to show that the first few months.

Also, if I refuse a man over his gaming habits, I am immediately unreasonable and a bitch apparently. I said to my pick me friend I won't ever date a gamer ever again, because it always resulted in me being nowhere near any of the guy's priorities and she of course had to blab about it to guys on OLD and every single one was judging me for it, complaining how unrealistic my expectations are. What happened to the freedom of a choice in a partner then?

If we get in a relationship with them, we're to blame. If we don't, we're to blame.

Averyhvw · 2021-12-07T16:49:40+00:00

I wish we could get through to these teens. He doesn’t like you or his girlfriend, so…

OrangeyPanda · 2021-12-07T16:16:56+00:00

In what universe are women with these behaviors not labeled as controlling? That's been the top insult of scrotes for women since the day women didn't want to be submissive bangmaids. It's like they make up stuff just so they can get a slice of that sweet sweet male approval and a seat at the patriarchy table.

Brokenglassbarefeet · 2021-12-07T17:23:23+00:00

Why are the ”popular opinions” on that subreddit always popular opinions?

hopeful_flounder93 · 2021-12-07T15:48:02+00:00

You know, in an ideal world, we'd all band together as women and not let these shitty LVM reproduce - that's where our power really lies. In theory, we could change the makeup of humanity in a single generation.

Now, that's not the world we live in, precisely because of women like her - but, the silver lining here is these stupid fucking Pickme's make their own karma. You know who's going to end up dating these losers? Women like her. The women who rationalize their shitty behaviour so they can con themselves into thinking they're attracted to their skidmark-producing asses. A few years later, they're on subs about broken moms, wondering where they went wrong to feel so dead inside every single day (lowering the bar for the rest of us, that's where).

What does that leave for us?

The HVM, that's what.

scorchedsouI · 2021-12-07T16:33:38+00:00

Controlling whether or not men play video games, or how much they play, is a bad thing, but not for these idiotic reasons. It's a waste of women's time. Just don't entertain men that are content to passively waste their lives in front of a screen.

They're damaged in more ways than one, and frankly, this "controlling" behaviour is a job their mothers and fathers should have done. It's a pity, but it's not our problem to deal with.

Sorry_Calligrapher_7 · 2021-12-07T17:35:38+00:00

Essentially, we don’t label it controlling because it goes both ways. If you game several hours a day or more, you shouldn’t be pursuing a relationship in the first place. Why? Because this means outside of your job, you don’t make time for anything else BUT gaming. There’s no way you could possibly think it’s a good idea to pursue a partner when you literally don’t care enough to put energy into anything else in your life. And this is typically the case with MALE gamers. They tend to be some of the laziest, most misogynistic people on the planet. They put off and devalue physical interaction with women so much they tend to only maintain a partner to meet their sexual needs and nothing else. I believe just as we tell people who don’t have time or money for dating NOT to date, we should be advising men who not only game as a hobby, but are also addicted to it. They shouldn’t be dating anyway period if they’re not expecting their partners to want to spend time with them. As for women, it’s not controlling to want to spend time with him. I can also attest to how men LOVE to appear normal and not overdo the gaming thing when they’re pursuing you because they know it’ll make them look immature and then suddenly gradually begin to up the amount they spend playing in front of you until they no longer care what you think about it. I e hardly ever seen a guy so upfront with it from the jump because they know it would get them laid a lot less. But I will say it’s absolutely absurd as women to hang around and hope he will improve in that area after he has began to show you how little he cares about prioritizing relationships in his personal life. It honestly feels like some weird form of control on their behalf more than ours but we usually only end up being able to take control of things by leaving when we see the red flags. They often never change enough to ever accuse us of being controlling. This is one of many reasons I’ve been turned off to most men. The few who are mature never need you to explain these things but the majority of men do need to hear this but will never actually listen, only debate is.

_mooness · 2021-12-07T17:56:51+00:00

Why is this so vomit inducing?

OldWestStyle · 2021-12-07T15:47:13+00:00

Well the problem is that men lie. If you start dating a man that is a "casual" gamer, you won't realize that he plays 30-40 hours a week until you live together. Men will say that they don't watch porn or just "sometimes when I haven't seen you in a while" but it's actually multiple times a day.

Then they come at you with the "you knew I played video games and watched porn when we met!"

Men have no concept of moderation or balance in their lives. Hence why I will never date a gamer. A man who plays occasionally or casually is probably actually addicted and plays way more than he tells you. If he even owns a gaming console or a gaming computer, we are not a match. I'd much rather have a man that has real hobbies that improve his life like playing sports, running, making art, playing an instrument, photography, etc. Basically a man who would rather "produce" than "consume".

Apprehensive_Ad_7917 · 2021-12-07T18:34:28+00:00

My partner and I are both gamers and he has a friend who plays a game that lasts hours and hours. One time he made a comment about how he turned him down again to play (I didn’t know he’d ever asked or that my partner had interest) and he mentioned that he’s just got too many things to do with me and for work to have time for that. It wasn’t manipulative or problematic, he just simply decided that wasn’t a good use of his or our time.

Good partners prioritize you and your partnership (and other important areas of their life). Bad partners must be managed like children because they don’t value the relationship, so why even date them?

Hhjjuuy · 2021-12-07T18:40:15+00:00

This is so weird like the only people who should get into relationships are those who pre-relationship just sit around and do literally nothing for hours each day that they could then incorporate a relationship into?m

Title	This is pick me behavior straight up. Prioritizing your partner is part of the compromise and shows respect.
Author	ReeksOfChlorine
Upvotes	125
Comments	38
Date	December 7, 2021 3:22 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/rb1j06/this_is_pick_me_behavior_straight_up_prioritizing/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/this-is-pick-me-behavior-straight-up-prioritizing.1088155 https://theredarchive.com/post/1088155

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