Thought this belonged here. Do you know the difference, lurkers? 🙃

greatmoonlight21 · 2021-06-02T15:57:24+00:00

Makes me wonder how many people actually have healthy sex

Not sure if it's just me but it seems so rare for that to happen these days

missgelassenheit · 2021-06-02T19:39:14+00:00

I have never had healthy sex and I will never have porn sex again. It is so refreshing to find likeminded women. It is better for me to never have sex again than to let another "man" who does not respect me touch me again. Never again!

getrippeddiemirin · 2021-06-02T15:51:21+00:00

They know the difference, they just don't care

throwawayheeeeey · 2021-06-02T14:48:25+00:00

This is a great list! The only one I was uncertain about was the “sex is a natural drive” because I’ve been hearing that calling sex a drive implies it’s a need like how hunger and thirst is a drive to get food and water.

Especially liked the point that sex requires certain conditions and that it is NURTURING not hurtful. So many of them don’t get that

thelittlegirlblue · 2021-06-02T19:22:29+00:00

Again thank you lovely FDS ladies. At least ten times a day I save very needed petals of wisdom from this subreddit and it’s sister subreddits. You have given me insight, courage and strength to continue on my level up journey and only to give myself real love and connection. I’m happily single after a very abusive relationship and part of it is because of the FDS handbook. I now do everything I can to pass it on to more women. 🙏🏻

DisastrousSundae · 2021-06-02T19:46:55+00:00

I've never had healthy sex

Meredeen · 2021-06-02T21:40:31+00:00

To me, sex will always be something that takes from me. Maybe I'm just too messed up to ever see it any other way, but the thought of someone touching me makes me want to puke.

AriaLuz · 2021-06-02T20:37:44+00:00

Yup… well… that just confirmed I’ve never had healthy sex.

AcadiaLeather5071 · 2021-06-03T03:55:43+00:00

Yess! Love this.

raphaellastorm · 2021-06-03T07:28:40+00:00

Yes, preach. It’s absolutely scary how society shames us into believing if we believe sex is special and intimate we are somehow unenlightened and “traditional.” Like wth because we place a high value on sex and believe it should be healthy and not rooted in disturbing male fantasies, we are somehow backward. What’s backward is a society that treats women like objects and sex so impersonally — like we are in caveman days.

ivy176 · 2021-06-03T05:51:04+00:00

I've certainly had bullshit sex in an abusive ex marriage (and that understandably turned into dead bedroom and then divorce), but sex with my (2nd) husband is definitely all on the right and healthy sex. It is possible

chasingshoesales · 2021-06-03T05:16:15+00:00

I definitely need help in this department. When I think of sex I think of porn related sex. When I was younger, I definitely had sex for validation. I never felt loved but sex at least made me feel wanted.

However something happened a few years ago where I started to feel dirty having the casual sex I was having. It started when I actually started dating someone who was previously my sex buddy. It’s like I had an epiphany during sex that I was being used and it was no longer fun. This kind of traumatized me cause I didn’t like the sex with that thought In my mind but continued on. Later on, I had no sex drive and we broke up cause he cheated. My low sex drive continued and I still feel dirty having sex.

I can’t seem to view sex in a healthy way. When I try it makes me cringe. My last boyfriend tried to have this kind of sex with me and it really put me off and I told him to stop. Porn related sex makes me feel dirty so that’s a no go.

My first exposure to sex education was porn. I probably got interested in it at about 10. It just intrigued me cause it was so taboo. I never talked about sex with my parents cause it was a shameful thing. I had the internet with no parental control so I could see whatever I wanted.

I just don’t know what to do. I have very low sex drive now and I guess that’s good cause it keeps me from making bad decisions with guys. However, I fear if I do find a HVM, I’m not going to be able to enjoy sex cause my head is fucked up. Sex is supposed to be a good thing and I fear it’s forever tainted in my mind.

Title	Thought this belonged here. Do you know the difference, lurkers? 🙃
Author	Thestral-glow6
Upvotes	758
Comments	33
Date	June 2, 2021 2:41 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/nqncue/thought_this_belonged_here_do_you_know_the/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/thought-this-belonged-here-do-you-know-the.773247 https://theredarchive.com/post/773247

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