I need some insight.

BluepillProfessor · 2016-05-09T21:20:39+00:00

Just get married already. I am sure her mood swings, crazy hamster, trust issues and ESPECIALLY HER BAD ATTITUDE will all magically disappear after the vows.

SHAZAM!

Good Lord! You are so far in your fiances head I can't tell whether you are full of shit or actual shit.

She, she she she she get pissed. I whine and beg and try to get her to tell me her feelings because that is critical to a relationship! I am imagining Pweeeeze daling. Why are you upset? Tell me, please.

she gets upset about something in her head but she knows it's not a valid reason to get upset so she just acts pissed off while ensuring me...

/r/deadbedrooms in....5....4....3....2....1....

aka: Run Forest, Run- unless you can get to the point where you can control her little temper tantrums you are in for a nightmare of epic proportions. Ask me how I know.

FearDearg2015 · 2016-05-09T18:15:08+00:00

Look, you are not married, yet. You say confidently that you "are getting married in October". Just pull that card immediately. Cancel whatever plans are there, or at the very least, postpone indefinitely.

As you read that stuff I just said, did you notice how your ego got all riled up and ready to sling out some defensive bullshit? Don't waste your time sending any of that shit. I'm not the one who needs to make the choice for you. Instead, get busy with some proper introspection and peel away as many layers of that shit as you can stomach. And then dig in some more.

Archwinger · 2016-05-09T19:46:31+00:00

I've been with my fiance for 3 years. We are getting married in October. When she doesn't have an attitude, or trust issues, everything is great

No need to read farther. Let me know how she takes the break-up.

Okay. I'll skim:

I would consider her out of my league.

She gets a fucking attitude.

she doesn't trust me, like at all.

Time to pull out a girl card. Tell her you need a break. Then just kinda sorta never get around to the part where you get back together. When she tries to contact you a couple of months later, mention your new hot girlfriends.

UEMcGill · 2016-05-09T19:33:16+00:00

She is also very attractive and I would consider her out of my league.

I lost the will to go on after this. If you don't value yourself highly enough to be with her how will she ever value you?

Who fucking cares if she goes crazy about your phone and all that? Fuck man. Set boundaries. Quit fucking texting. Remember if no one is at the station you can't get on the crazy train.

[deleted] · 2016-05-09T20:46:47+00:00

Dude. Bro. Man. Your post reeks of clueless pussy.

Read the books again. Read some of the top posts. You haven't internalized shit.

You haven't shown "IDGAF"
You haven't shown the confidence of a leader
You put that pussy on a pedestal.
You continually fall into her frame
You talk too much

You're not lost yet. You can pull the commitment card off the table. You won't do that though, because you idolize this woman even though she gets an "attitude" bad and often enough for you to complain about it to a bunch of internet strangers playing alpha.

You say you don't want to do any dread in a comment here, and that alone told me you don't know what you're doing. You haven't understood the material- you don't even know what dread really is do you? Dressing nice, being well groomed, and working out are passive dread. Are you seriously saying you don't do that? You don't make yourself valuable in your social circles? Damn dude, it's like you're not even trying.

BluepillProfessor · 2016-05-09T19:22:34+00:00

I've been with my fiance for 3 years. We are getting married in October.

She is also very attractive and I would consider her out of my league... She gets a fucking attitude.

Idk how to deal with this shit, but I damn sure am not going to put up with it forever

3 things. DGAF, not rewarding bad behaviour, the one who wants the other the least, has the power.

There's a ton of little tidbits spread throughout NMMNG, rationalmale, and 16 commandments of poon. I'm surprised you missed ALL of them

cholomite · 2016-05-09T18:28:17+00:00

First off, don't get married. She will only get worse once she has a legally binding contract which forces you to pay her in order to break up. But whatever, that's on you, don't say you weren't warned.

Stop trying to engage her like she is a rational and logical adult. She is not. She is a child with the body and vocabulary of an adult. Why do you think explaining things to her will make her all of a sudden see the truth? That will never work and it only makes you look weak.

Make her hamster spin in your favor. It's a good thing when your girl is jealous, getting fired up about who you're talking to and what you're doing, but only if you know how to handle it. Stop giving a fuck about how jealous or angry she gets. Tease her about it, tell her you have 30 ho's but she's your bottom bitch, then tell her she's cute when she's angry and slap her ass. Honestly, I love it when my gf questions what I'm doing or who I'm talking to. I see that as a chance to fuck with her, get her hamster spinning and build up a little tension before carrying her off to the bedroom.

You want to increase her emotional highs and lows in your favor. That's what alphas do. They have fun then don't call, or they talk to other girls while she glares from across the room, or neg her a little before going out. Betas try to limit her emotional highs and lows with supplicating and placating behavior, and that eventually kills attraction.

If she is honestly just a bitch to be around and not even any fun to fuck with, then reevaluate why you're with her. Otherwise, learn to spin the hamster in your favor and have fun messing with her. Don't take her so seriously, remember, she's just the most responsible child in the house.

fuckmrp · 2016-05-09T18:36:49+00:00

She somehow can see how many picture messages I get

Bitch probably got a copy of your phone bill. They usually distinguish text from media messages. Been there.

All pussy feels good. Why work so hard for this one?

HelloImRIGHT · 2016-05-09T18:22:26+00:00

"Just stop with the not trusting me shit, I advise you to not look at anything of mine because it never seems to help, it just causes trouble, and for what? Alright? This will be the last time I tell you that.."

You'll see it all over MRP. Texting is for logistics only. Stop having bitch fights and defending yourself. Just ignore any bullshit.

First, secure your shit. That's your phone, emails, and messages. If she is really able to go through your stuff then you need to stop her access. That's bullshit. Does she pay for your cell phone plan or something?

Second. You don't mention anything about your journey with MRP, what level of dread you're on, etc. You say she's out of your league but never mention yourself. Are you dreading the fuck out of her and not throwing in comfort? Does she have any legit reasons not to trust you?

If she's higher value, consider that she can be getting some dick on the side too.

2gunsgetsome · 2016-05-09T18:36:17+00:00

She ~~gets a fucking attitude~~ is a woman

FTFY.

she doesn't trust me, like at all.

Because

I would consider her out of my league

Well there's your problem. Be the prize. You need to be out of HER league. None of this shit will improve until you do.

Do you even sidebar bro? Not just reading, but actually absorbing it? Remember, no mater how much lifting, dressing up, and holding frame you do, you don't make her choices or take her actions; she does.

I just txtd her and said, "Just stop with the not trusting me shit

Why do you care (rhetorical)? Are you doing something you don't want her to know about? Do YOU have a problem with anything you've done? BE trustworthy and she'll eventually trust you. Or she won't. You don't get to make her choice, YOU only get to decide how YOU respond to her choice.

I'm pretty sure it's because her hamster gets going and she gets upset about something in her head but she knows it's not a valid reason to get upset so she just acts pissed off while ensuring me she's not. I've tried dealing with it multiple ways.

Seems like you're trying to fix things for her, even if that thing is her attitude (emotions). Knock that shit off. Let her have her swells. Whatever she's feeling will pass. You already know this, because:

eventually it just takes an hour of talking to come to the same conclusion.

Save your energy for fucking or lifting or something.

Sapphire_Jizz · 2016-05-09T18:37:43+00:00

The other comments are spot on and should get your started down the right path.

I'll chime in with something smaller, though--

Dude, get your fucking digital life under control. You speak as if this girl is the NSA or something and just by default has access to every number you come across, every picture you put on social media, etc. Maybe you're a technological retard, but it isn't that hard to reign in your shit, get a password on your phone, fine-tune privacy settings, whatever.

Also, read the side-bar.

HelloImRIGHT · 2016-05-09T20:29:23+00:00

[deleted]

[deleted] · 2016-05-09T21:19:45+00:00

I wonder if any of these guys actually take the advice they are given when is different than what they wanted to hear?

[deleted] · 2016-05-10T22:24:29+00:00

watching your communication like that is a really big sign of abuse. Just saying.

Also, if she isn't making her crankyness your problem, why are you making it your problem? Let her stew for a bit, get her a snickers and she will probably get better.

[deleted] · 2016-05-09T18:53:10+00:00

The "attitude" you describe is juvenile and manipulative. Does she do the classic "I just think it's funny how...." statement when you know that whatever she is about to say she definitely doesn't think it's funny. Lol.

Is the suspicion completely unfounded? Is there something in your past that contributes to this? If the answer to this is yes, then how you deal with her behavior might be different than if she is just an unreasonable, intrusive, ill-mannered bitch.

If you are going to get married (and you might want to reconsider that) you ought to have a serious talk about how necessary it is for couples to have space and privacy in their lives and let her know that you don't intend to move to the next level unless she can demonstrate some sustained acceptance of that.

You just cannot be happy if you are up each other's asses all the time especially when it is amplified by some ridiculous "digital" love triangle.

Why is she even on your phone and reading your emails? That's the question.

sexyshoulderdevil · 2016-05-09T19:35:28+00:00

Fortunately, it sounds like you have some natural "alpha" tendencies. Your gut tells you to ignore her when she starts throwing some beta traps your way (aka fitness tests, aka shit tests) and acts in a childish manner as an attempt to get you to do whatever it is she wants you to do. You're getting slowly confused though and starting to verbally negotiate your way out of these traps. This verbal negotiation doesn't really work as you've seen and ultimately wears away at your Alpha stance like water on rocks. So knock that off.

What's getting your goat are the comfort tests that are progressing into full on neurosis on her part. I assume your alpha tendencies leaves her a little unsure at times as to when you plan on leaving her. Not to mention despite being "hot" she likely suffers from her own insecurity issues from whatever daddy did or didn't say to her as a child. Either way, if you plan on keeping her around you're going to need to learn how to manage these comfort issues of hers. Read up on "comfort tests". Sometimes it's as simple as a kiss on the forehead while telling her she's your gal.

You can fail shit tests and come back from it. But trust me when I say repeatedly failing comfort tests can nuke the relationship and make it very hard to recover...if at all.

7Fig · 2016-05-09T21:15:13+00:00

Sometimes the best TRP principle is the willingness to walk away. You're down playing her trust issues to protect yourself from the tough truth.

Too many men think of TRP as a book of tricks and all we need is this secret formula and it will fix a fucked up situation. Unfortunately there are no magic tricks, just good behaviors. From what I read it sounds like you are on the right track and you might even be a good leader. The real issue here is that she might not realize how serious of an offense it is to go through your phone etc. Have you ever proved to her that there are consequences for her actions? She expects you to itemize who you talk to and when you do. You're her bitch.

AnonymousAndLovinIt · 2016-05-09T23:04:06+00:00

"She is also very attractive and I would consider her out of my league."

You are what you believe.

KyfhoMyoba · 2016-05-10T01:10:30+00:00

We are getting married in October. When she doesn't have an attitude, or trust issues, everything is great.

What the FUCK makes you think that any of this will improve after you've literally signed your life away in October?

AWALT4Sure · 2016-05-10T03:46:20+00:00

All women are moody and all women have trust issues.

Women know their main value to men is sex and that men would rather not be monogamous if they could get away with it. (Men are pigs/dogs will fuck anything)

The life of a woman largely sucks. She has to deal with a body that is constantly changing as she moves through her cycle.

Being a woman is largely being treated like a second class citizen because they are weaker and smaller.

Most women know the experience of having their opinion discounted because they are women and they make it worse by trying to act smart because they think everyone thinks they are stupid so in the end they sound stupid because they always are trying to sound smart OR .... because they have a pussy every guy trying to get laid hangs on their every word leaving them with the impression that everything they say is brilliant so guys trying to get laid turn woman into delusional idiots who think they are brilliant.

Any way you spin it women are fucked up.

Deal with it or go MGTOW.

mrp_1844 · 2016-05-10T09:11:57+00:00

Also, she doesn't trust me, like at all.

Don't trust people who don't trust you. Its a big red flag.

NEVER FORGET You are the prize!

[deleted] · 2016-05-10T16:42:40+00:00

So you put up with all this shit for her looks. Fuck that. When you are jerking off every night and she's out fucking Chad, OR when she puts on 200 lbs after 1 year of marriage, where will her looks go then? Her looks on their own are useless to you. What else does she offer? Would you put up with this shit from a girl you consider below your league?

How she is now is the BEST she will ever be. She gets worse from here in. She will try to control every move you make, guaranteed. I also think she thinks are NOT out of her league, she would not be so suspicious if she thought no-one would go after you. You have undervalued yourself IMO.

Can't believe some of the people on here. I got married at 25, was as beta as fuck, but I knew stuff like this. My wife was a STEM grad, worked hard, had a good job and could hold an intelligent conversation, had an n count of 1 (LTR) and was about a 7. Even then the other stuff was more important to me than her looks. She still looks pretty good at 45 and can do all the above still. Our marriage had a wobble because I wasn't man enough. What will your wife be like at 45?

ImprovingMan · 2016-05-10T22:19:11+00:00

Back in the hood growing up, we always knew that the hotter the girl, the more crazy the are. So this is nothing new. If she isn't mental in some way, her behavior is just feeding off of what you are giving her. Until your value is higher, she will control you with her emotions. They clearly have tremendous power over you. If you are responding to her like you explained above, you are in her frame, and feeding the beast. If you raise your value above hers, you would get a lot less of this. You would also know how to respond in a more nuanced way because you would feel like you are doing so from a position of power and confidence. Your post is filled with frustration. If your post is, I imagine that is what you are projecting to her. Do you feel like she respects you in general?

fredless1 · 2016-05-14T13:50:33+00:00

If you've never given her a reason to not trust you, why doesn't she trust you? I've found that people are suspicious of others for behaviors they themselves often engage in.

BluepillProfessor · 2016-05-15T16:09:00+00:00

I have read the 88 comments and my advice is the same except you may want to treat these like comfort tests first.

Captain Kirk showed us how a long time ago:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i64vZB000nI

Pastelitomaracucho · 2016-05-21T11:06:11+00:00

I'll give you some little piece of advice. Stop that marriage at all costs. You are in for a very miserable ride for the years to come

HelloImRIGHT · 2016-05-09T20:03:40+00:00

[deleted]

40mullet · 2016-05-10T05:28:13+00:00

People in deadbedrooms tell their SO-s to go fuck somebody else and not bother them, they are not usually spying and not trusting.

You look like a decent guy who does not really need help from this sub, most of the answers here come from the guys who aint getting any sex and their solution for everything is sidebar and NEXT.

You kind of described my wife and I have never regret marrying her. Yes, I went nuclear in the beginning also, there were crazy events couple of time in year, but eventually everything settled down. Now when she goes silent I just remove myself and do my own things and actually kind of enyoing silent time. Trust issues werent that bad like yours but those ended completely.

Title	I need some insight.
Author	HelloImRIGHT
Upvotes	0
Comments	81
Date	May 9, 2016 6:03 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MarriedRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/4iktdh/i_need_some_insight/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MarriedRedPill/i-need-some-insight.200009 https://theredarchive.com/post/200009

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