Abolish child support!!!

UglyDude1987 · 2024-05-13T20:55:30+00:00

I think child support should be re-worked rather than abolished.

I have equal shared custody but am paying child support because I earned slightly more.

But she is also constantly taking me to court trying to change custody, is being supported by her family and lives for free with her boyfriend. So she's living a luxurious life style whereas while with me I'm struggling to provide for my child.

The justification for child support even at equal shared physical custody is so that child standard of living is maintained at both homes. It doesn't take into account family wealth, inherited wealth, living situations, gifts, etc, which runs counter to the former justification if one parent is unable to maintain the same standard of living

Roamer56 · 2024-05-13T19:27:54+00:00

Mandatory DNA testing at birth. If the child is yours, you need to pay for it and not offload it even further onto the taxpayers.

Sintar07 · 2024-05-13T16:14:54+00:00

I'm in favor of actual child support. You should take care of a child you create. I'm not in favor of the weird system we have now where there's no way to guarantee it goes to the child (and it usually doesn't), women have no similar accountability to and for their children, and for men it doesn't even have to be your child some places.

Substantial_Bar_8476 · 2024-05-14T00:14:35+00:00

You know if she makes more money than you. Then you get child support… Also don’t stick your wick in places then.

WanabeInflatable · 2024-05-13T17:11:33+00:00

Child support is a valid mechanism. If one parent is raising kids after separation, he or she needs help from the other parent. And it shouldn't be always men paying women, also vice versa.

We should strive for 50/50 guardianship in case of divorce, promote good fathers. Child support is not a problem. Fathers almost always losing in courts is.

Alimony (spousal support) should be abolished though.

neveragoodtime · 2024-05-14T02:09:46+00:00

Everyone wants the man to pay for the kids but no one wants to give him custody so he can pay for the kids. Remember child support was never about how much support a child needs. If it were, there would be no need for child support in millionaire Hollywood divorces, both parents can afford the child’s needs just fine. This is about “equity” of outcomes, to balance out lifestyles between households. So if dad works hard and makes more money, that’s not fair to the mom who doesn’t work hard to make more money. It’s about forcing the man to continue his role as breadwinner for the family, whether they’re a family or not.

I say, if financial support of the children is so important, give custody of the children to the parent who can afford them. Women will immediately stop claiming they can’t afford their children without the man’s money. Personally I believe time spent with the child is more important than any amount of money. But the current court system takes the child from the dad, then takes the money from the dad, and gives them both to the mother. That is not a fair deal.

When the dad claims he wants to spend more time with his kids, people accuse him of wanting to get out of child support instead of, you know, loving and missing his child. When a woman wants full custody instead of sharing, no one accuses her of doing it just to get more money in child support.

Character_Display945 · 2024-05-14T03:51:42+00:00

First choice is 50/50 custody and in most cases that is best.

I do know several women who were pressured into being a stay at home mother to men with high earnings and this should be a consideration before they have children. If they split, and she gave up her job prospects to support his desire to have children, that he agreed to provide for- there has to be some contingency. And the same if it was a man. I would have had to pay child support to my ex husband and I was prepared to do so when asking for our divorce, because he was chronically unemployed and I was the bread winner. The only reason I didn’t have too is he told the judge that if I proceeded with this divorce he wasn’t going to play family man and he wanted nothing to do with the kids if I wasn’t going to be there to look after them. He then looked at me and said “it’s not too late, how bad do you want your kids to have a daddy?”

And because I already know you will say pick better- he was fully employed - making more than me, though we still did 50/50 but I worked 2 jobs- and we were married that way for 4 years before we had our son. He only quit 2 weeks before our son was born and we went to joint accounts thinking he would get back on his feet but he stayed unemployed for 3 years till I told him I was going to file for divorce and he got a $12/hour job. I got a bunch of promotions and we decided to have my daughter 7 years later because I thought that was just a rough patch for him. Well when she was 6 weeks old he quit his job and didn’t go back to work at all until I moved out 6 months later. I spend a lot of time looking back for what red flags I missed with him before my son was born, still haven’t figured it out yet.

C0nstantineXI · 2024-05-13T16:05:55+00:00

Raising a child is expensive. Throughout history, Countless woman and children (half of whom are boys, obviously) have been left destitute by absentee fathers. If you create a life, the very least you can do is help pay for it to survive to adulthood.

Playful_Subject_4409 · 2024-05-14T13:34:38+00:00

50/50 custody should be the default and parental agreement should be possible in prenup.

Common-Ferret-1435 · 2024-05-13T16:08:19+00:00

You worded it wrong. You don’t mean abolish child support.

What you mean is abolish “Alimony 2.0”, which is all child support is. Mommy support payments. Children are cheap, mommy isn’t.

W1ckedLobs · 2024-05-13T21:06:37+00:00

Is this really what we want to advocate for in a men’s rights group? More divorces are ending in 50/50 custody and more women are paying child support and alimony. We’re making steps in the right direction and posts like this are fodder for feminists.

Is the system perfect? No, but we don’t leave millions of kids to suffer because some stupid adults abuse the system. You don’t want to owe child support, then don’t have kids or don’t get divorced or don’t let them take anything more than 50% custody.

Hopeless0341 · 2024-05-13T17:36:01+00:00

I will vote to abolish child support when you figure out how to give an unborn child a say in who there father is because that child didn’t have a choice or ask to be here. It’s not about you it’s about the child

MannerNo7000 · 2024-05-13T20:12:04+00:00

No. The child doesn’t deserve to suffer.

CawlinAlcarz · 2024-05-13T16:50:51+00:00

You have Title IV-D of the Social Security Act to blame for the usurious nature of the child support system.

Technically, under the law, child support calculations themselves are not gender based, however they ARE based on custody percentage, and the determination of that custody percentage is ABSOLUTELY gender based.

Further, the way child support is calculated based on the income of the payor is a farce. The justifications and "costs" of raising a child are often grossly exaggerated.

Some anecdotes about it all...

Two of the couples that are close friends of me and my wife are in their second marriages, and all 4 of those people have children from previous marriages, but no children with their current spouses. The rarely bring the subject up, but over the years, I've come to know the details of their situations post divorce. Suffice it to say that they were both completely divorce raped/asshammered by family court and their first wives. Meanwhile, their current wives all talk about how their children's fathers were scumbags, deadbeats, etc.

I won't relate the men's stories to you because they're the same sh*t you read here every day. Whenever the topic comes up, the men might make a brief remark of distaste, but then move on to whatever other topic of conversation. The women are VERY quick to point out, with righteous indignation, at the slightest provocation, how they never received any meaningful child support from their baby daddys. Their stories are eerily similar, if the truth be told. One woman received a grand total of just over $400 in child support for her 3 children who were 14, 10, and 6 when she divorced, the other will talk about how she occasionally got a hundred bucks now and then from her ex-husband for her two children who were like 9 and 7 when she divorced despite her ex-husband being VERY well off financially.

If you ask these women why they didn't get any reasonable child support, they will tell you that their ex-husbands threatened to take them back to court to review the custody situation with the children if the women attempted to have the courts force them to pay child support. So, in the end, those women made their choices, and their complaints about child support are moot. Meanwhile, the current husbands of those two women who got hammered in family court both petitioned for 50/50 custody of their kids, but were awarded zero custody of their children and only visitation rights, and paid every cent of the exorbitant child support the courts ordered.

Years ago, I was in a long term relationship (though not married) with a woman who had a child from her previous marriage, for whom she never received a cent of child support either. When I asked her why, she expressed the same concern that the baby daddy would sue for custody if threatened with child support payments and she wasn't willing to risk it.

Roadburner440 · 2024-05-14T16:17:44+00:00

I agree with child support, and the fact it needs to be reworked as someone who currently is still paying.. what I want abolished is alimony. How can she cheat, with ample evidence to the fact of, and then I have to pay her $129,000. There is no accountability in that.. that will forever be what gets me.. and she gets to carry on with her man to boot. 🤣 You can’t make it up. Children should be supported though, but I do agree that I have seen the extortion that happens with that as well.. I feel the child support amount I pay is fair, but some guys paying thousands of dollars is ridiculous.

Calm-Cry4094 · 2024-05-15T14:15:07+00:00

Just allow men and women to decide the amount via contract before conception.

Instead of marriage or totally free sex, why not make explicit business arrangements.

Opening-Scar-8796 · 2024-05-15T21:56:19+00:00

I’ll pay to the child. I will not pay to the ex wife.

foreverdescending · 2024-05-15T23:02:11+00:00

Eh idk about abolished but it should be reworked. Without it a man can impregnate a woman and run away without facing any consequences. Especially with the way abortion rights are going, she will be unlikely to get rid of it. It also gives the baby a better quality of life, since most people can’t afford a baby alone.

That being said, if a man is left to care for the baby, the woman needs to be hit with the child support just as hard though. And it needs to account for the income and financial support the person asking for child support is receiving, as well as the amount of time the paying parent is allowed to see the child (someone forbidden to see a child without criminal charges shouldn’t be paying). Basically it’s super unfair right now and needs a lot of changes.

Plasticbag245 · 2024-05-14T10:11:45+00:00

No. The child/children don’t deserve to suffer because of this.

Low_Breakfast3669 · 2024-05-14T02:18:43+00:00

Ya no.

I'm all for men's rights, mandatory paternity tests, the total abolishing of alimony and general overhaul of family court system and divorce law, but child support (ASSUMING THE CHILD IS YOURS) needs to stay.

Yes, even in the event of baby trapping. Sorry not sorry.

The only circumstance that should absolve you of child support is if it is not your biological child.

If she was a single mom; first, wtf are you doing with a single mom? Second, if she was taking care of the kid before the relationship there should be no obligation for the man to continue supporting them after the relationship.

Obviously if the child is the result of an affair absolutely no money should be awarded and the actual father should be tracked down and drug into court and any money that had been awarded prior to discovering the true paternity should be awarded back to the man.

Calm-Cry4094 · 2024-05-14T16:06:26+00:00

Instead allow child support to be decided by agreed upon contract.

Let women and men decide amount of child support.

Title	Abolish child support!!!
Author	This-Top7398
Upvotes	68
Comments	100
Date	May 13, 2024 3:43 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1cr2gq6/abolish_child_support/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/abolish-child-support.1518371 https://theredarchive.com/post/1518371

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