All the Single Ladies.

rantgrrl · 2011-10-11T18:05:35+00:00

her choice is between deadbeats (whose numbers are rising) and playboys (whose power is growing).

Regendering.

his choice is between fatasses (whose numbers are rising) and bitches (whose power is growing).

Wow, doesn't sound particularly nice this way, either.

tango646 · 2011-10-11T15:19:01+00:00

I see now, is in keeping with a post-Boomer ideology that values emotional fulfillment above all else.

i think a lot of what is happening is the same thing which happened during feminism. women were finally able to collectively cast off the shackles of their gender roles. suddenly women could be whatever they wanted.

now men are finding out the same thing. men know now that they don't have to be a wage slave if they don't want to. they don't have to get married if they don't want to. they can be emotionally fulfilled (shocker, men have emotions) and they no longer feel obligated to go down the path that they are expected to.

in short, men are realizing that they have rich inner lives. they are not workhorses and don't have to be such if they don't want. just like when women realized they were not motherly maids by default and can be anything they want.

until now women had relied on the fact that a lot of men were tied to their gender roles. a great back-up plan when you're dream of CEO by day, world class mother by night doesn't work out. in that world women could always depend a man being there and fulfilling his role when she wanted him to.

now that the rug is pulled out from underneath they are scrambling. suddenly men aren't playing the game so the back-up plan is ruined. now everyone has the right to live the life they want instead of the life they are prescribed. so when Judy's plans don't work out, good ol' dependable Jack isn't there to do what she expected. and they're very upset.

great article.

godlessaltruist · 2011-10-11T16:12:32+00:00

There's a key dynamic here which this article didn't discuss...

And I'm generalizing greatly here, but it's something I've observed for a while...

But, in the young adult years, women have the upper hand in the dating world. But this reverses later on, and in later adulthood, men have the upper hand in the dating world.

Women in their 20's and 30's are at their pinnacle. Everyone wants to be with a woman in this age range, including teenagers, including older men. (I'm generalizing of course, but trying to paint some trends, so bear with me). So, men of the same age are not just competing with other agemates, they are instead competing with ALL men for women who are agemates.

And men in their 20's lack the same advantages. They are new to dating and lack the confidence and experience in approaching women, they are poor and less established in life, still completing their educations or getting established in their careers.

In a few decades though, this flips. The men have had several decades of experience with women and have become much more confident and socially comfortable. They are much better established, with their careers and success in place.

On the other hand, their female agemates have passed their prime, and aren't as appealing as younger women.

Of course these are trends and not absolutes - women in their 40's and above can still be sexy, desireable partners, and men in their 20's can be attractive to and successful with women. But the overall balance between the genders does shift according to these trends, with age.

I think that's the key point the author is missing. When she was younger, she lived in abundance, and she took this for granted. Men lined up at her door, and she assumed they always would. She didn't recognize that eventually the balance would shift in favor of the men, and that the ample opportunities she enjoyed as a younger woman won't always be there in such great quantities.

Both women and men would benefit from recognizing this dynamic early on. Discouraged young men would do well to realize that "it gets better" if they can be patient and not lose hope. Attractive young women would do well to realize how much of their appeal is tied to their youth, and to make life decisions that don't count on this continuing.

Shuttlecock · 2011-10-11T18:01:56+00:00

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geodebug · 2011-10-11T14:54:14+00:00

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etherspirit · 2011-10-11T17:11:11+00:00

What about the single men who want women for happiness? I don't like how the article takes it from the woman's perspective. There are a lot of single, frustrated men out there.

rantgrrl · 2011-10-11T20:32:08+00:00

This woman can certainly put a lot of energy into something she professes not to care about. I'm on the fourth goddamn page of this.

I remember sharing a hotel room with a happily single-lady. We were making a presentation at a conference. Before I went to bed I called my husband to tell him that I loved him(something I do every night when I'm away from him.) The woman freaked out--in a passive aggressive way.

These women are often not happy people. I'm sure some of them are but for the rest... I can't imagine living the rest of my life alone with someone so completely self-centered and narcissistic she couldn't make a relationship with a man work.

Seriously. Relationships with men are not difficult things. Men seem to want two things: to know that their presence makes your life better(not complete, not happy, just a little better) and to have a bit of their own space.

If she can't handle a relationship with a man; how the fuck does she think women are going to end up in coalitions with each other.

Relationships with men are like... oh... kindergarden level difficulty. Relationships between women... holy shit. HOLY FUCKING SHIT!

Women together with no men around to 'bond over' by dissing? Women sharing finances? Women relying on each other to get important stuff done?

Here's the first problem. If you have a household that can only afford one more child; which woman gets to get pregnant and which women have to knuckle down on their own self interest to pay for another woman's child? How many women are going to be perfectly happy getting up every day, going to the grind, and coming home to watch Suzy-Q surfing the internet on their dime while the kid they paid for(who isn't even theirs) zones out over the Wiggles?

Women don't even want to pay for their own children! How many times have women viewed child support they owed as an insult to them?

"I thought about the years I’d spent struggling against the four walls of my apartment, and I wondered what my mother’s life would have been like had she lived and divorced my father."

I know one thing about what your life would have been like if your mother had divorced your father. Five years shorter. Look lady. You want to treat men as expendable to your life? Then don't get fucking upset when they treat you as expendable to theirs.

TLDR; I don't wanna need men but I want men to need me. I dumped a good guy because I'm actually exactly the same as what I accuse men of being: unreliable. I think women should have the right to be unreliable but not men.

el_chief · 2011-10-11T21:42:29+00:00

Scumbag Females:

men take care of them for millenia
their turn comes, "end traditional marriages"

LAMFF · 2011-10-11T20:36:15+00:00

Too much literal masterbation for me to get through it, but I got the gist: lonely white woman can't believe she's alone after never "settling" for any of her boyfriends. Meh, typical drek from the fairer sex...forever alone never looked like such a good option.

Davethe3rd · 2011-10-11T16:28:19+00:00

Why is that whenever I read articles like these, I always think of Guile's winquote from Street Fighter II (SNES version)?

"Go Home and Be a Family Man."

chavelah · 2011-10-11T18:27:02+00:00

When this woman was 29, she had a steady boyfriend who was (and remains) a good guy, but she didn't want to marry him. So she didn't. Now she's a 39-year-old Free Range Woman, supporting herself, open to a partnership but also open to a life lived without one.

GOOD FOR HER. Staying single is better than ending up divorced. It's not a painless choice. Few choices are. I mated for life at 22 and that wasn't a painless choice either, although I knew than and know now that it was the right choice for me.

Why the fuck does everybody have to get married? Why is the response to caterwauling single gals not "learn to settle" but "be damn glad that you don't HAVE to marry a guy you'd be settling for!" I feel like both my gendered-rights communities are telling me that the world will burn if the marriage rate doesn't stay sky-high, and I just don't see why that would be.

skier69 · 2011-10-12T07:13:01+00:00

I like how she dichotomizes today's men into two groups. deadbeats and playboys. that's really nice.

c0mputar · 2011-10-12T03:25:18+00:00

Decent article, sort of got carried away by the personal touch. However, there was simply a complete and utter lack of understanding of why men have drifted away from their traditional gender role.

Women are motivated all the way through school to be financially independent, while it's suppose to just come automatically for men or something, and then they want to start a family with an even more successful man. Well, guess what ladies, guys don't want to be the breadwinner, carry his wife through the child-rearing years, and finance a family through the modern economy and risk (upwards of 50%) going through the family courts where he'll get financially raped for 20 or so years.

As long as you ladies perpetuate this idea of marrying up or down, allow marriage/family to be an extremely stupid financial gamble, the longer you make yourself unavailable for half your prospects. Fewer and fewer men care about making more than women and are willing to finance one with all the associated legal risks.

At least women can choose to have a biological child in the future regardless... It's a little bit harder, and far more expensive, and far riskier (in terms of surrogates changing their mind) for men to do the same

ProWomanAntiFeminist · 2011-10-11T15:28:59+00:00

Throughout history, the vast majority of men have had to "marry down" just so they had company, and someone to bear their children. He had to take what he could get.

Now that women are supposedly so high and mighty, they still only want to "marry up." Why don't these ticking biological clocks find a decent man, who may not be successful or handsome, but has good attributes? She could encourage him and help him become a better man. But NOOOOO...she deserves better! Lowering standards, what, are u crazy? Only men have to do such things.

Also note the typical "men as resource" perspective by women. She's looking at men, not as humans, but as natural resources to be exploited by the CEO of Vagina Incorporated.

However, I do appreciate her willingness to find many different perspectives. This was a more evolved article than Hymowitz's juvenile screed earlier this year.

Oh, and LOL to her conclusion that the best solution is for women to be polygamous, live in matriarchal communes, or behave like Bonobo apes. Western civilization, we hardly knew ye...

KMFCM · 2011-10-11T21:56:31+00:00

nobody should settle, but if you're not going to settle, you need to be ready to be alone

Arxl · 2011-10-11T17:49:19+00:00

If he was a great guy and you had no problems then why not wait WITH him? I'm sure if you actually had a conversation once in a while you could communicate that desire with him. If he was a great guy then he should understand how you feel. Something was missing? Yeah, talking to each other, see point above.

spokenlike · 2011-10-11T15:54:41+00:00

This woman, like all feminists, are failing to see that competition KILLS romance. They are so busy trying to act like men that they don't even realize this is the biggest turn off to a man looking for a good woman.

Feminism is not only the death of marriage, but the death of relationships in general. This is why the no-strings-attached hook-up culture is so prevalent today.

Shuttlecock · 2011-10-11T22:33:56+00:00

The lady doth protest too much, methinks.

Title	All the Single Ladies.
Author	master_mason
Upvotes	35
Comments	102
Date	October 11, 2011 1:27 PM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/l88z1/all_the_single_ladies/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/all-the-single-ladies.1033335 https://theredarchive.com/post/1033335

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