Do men ever get forced into marriages?

dukunt · 2021-09-19T01:37:16+00:00

My ex-wife is Japanese. I'm Canadian. When we were in Japan I came home from work one day to find out that we were now married. I did not consent to marriage. She had us married without my knowledge. In Japan it's simple, my name was added to her family registry and that was it. We were now married. Draw your own conclusions.

TheVintageMind · 2021-09-19T01:00:21+00:00

Ever heard of pregnancy?

tenchineuro · 2021-09-19T06:17:19+00:00

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Groom_kidnapping
Groom kidnapping
Groom kidnapping, colloquially known as Pakaruah shaadi or Jabaria shaadi, is a phenomenon in the western parts of Bihar, and eastern Uttar Pradesh states in India, wherein eligible bachelors are abducted by the bride's family and later forcibly married, to get men with better education and/or richer men. Considering the traditional regard for the marriage sacrament, most such marriages are not annulled. Additionally, the groom may suffer fake criminal charges under Indian dowry law, and end up fighting lengthy legal battles.
The practice started becoming noticeable towards the late 20th century, as dowry costs became prohibitive and organised gangs came forward to carry out the abductions.^[1][2] In 2009, 1224 kidnappings for marriage were reported in Bihar, carried out on behalf of the families of the brides.^[3]

SwiftStrik3 · 2021-09-19T01:58:33+00:00

Baby trapping.

Live_Nefariousness31 · 2021-09-19T02:42:56+00:00

Ever heard of a shotgun wedding

63daddy · 2021-09-19T01:53:03+00:00

I think that depends on your definition of “forced”

Marriage as an institution favors women. Marriage and divorce laws in America strongly favor women. Society is hypergamous. I know many men in their late 50s who tell me they wish they never married.

So, why do so many men marry, when it’s overall not in their best interest?

I think it’s mostly because they are strongly pressured to do so before they have time to realize it’s not really in their interest. So, I think it’s more about strong pressure than being forced. Family and social pressures to marry can be almost “forced”. I’m also aware of women who lied about birth control and got pregnant (or tried) literally to force marriage.

I’m not anti-woman. I know and like many women. I’ve had many wonderful relationships with women and I’m seeing someone now. I feel fortunate that I realized fairly early on that marriage in most cases simply wasn’t in my best interest due to all the biases, but the pressure to marry especially as a younger adult can be immense.

Men-Are-Human · 2021-09-19T08:34:47+00:00

115 million boys and men around the world married as children - UNICEF

And that's just preliminary results. Mostly they find these boys because they're married to girls the same age.

baapkomatsikha · 2021-09-19T07:40:31+00:00

Yes, it happens quite frequently in India

Read this article https://www.hindustantimes.com/patna/bihar-man-abducted-at-gunpoint-and-married-forcefully-in-instance-of-pakadua-vivah/story-tVdVyG0kyhBHCCJcTBfXwM.html

IXDarkES · 2021-09-19T00:58:11+00:00

Well in an arranged marriage, it’s not like the guy picks out the girl he wants, it’s the parents’ decision right?

mgtowolf · 2021-09-19T01:00:51+00:00

Never heard of a shotgun wedding before lol

McSmarfy · 2021-09-19T07:01:17+00:00

I went to high school with two guys that were lied to about who the father was and married cheating bitches. Both were told they were the fathers to be. Both married their girlfriends. One baby was the wrong color and one came out the spitting image of her ex boyfriend. Both are divorced and married to better women now.

DanteLivra · 2021-09-19T04:18:17+00:00

Aside from pregnacy.

It happens all the time in India and Japan. Probably other countries too.

pinjooo · 2021-09-19T09:04:41+00:00

Anecdotally, I taught at a school in the UK where both boys and girls (under 18, legally children) had been forced into marriages in their home countries. So yeah it happens. :(

gdobssor · 2021-09-19T04:26:10+00:00

Yes. My friend is Indian and from Singapore. His parents were married via arranged marriage. Neither of them liked each other as more than friends nor wanted to marry. They were emotionally blackmailed into marrying and told love would come later. It never did. Their kids suffered for it. They are still married but the love that everyone said would come later never did.

Reaper621 · 2021-09-19T12:08:20+00:00

Yes. My former mother in law threatened to sue me when I told her and my ex wife the wedding was off. She told me she'd go after my license next. The coercion was enough to make me temporarily reconcile. I should have called her bluff. The marriage lasted 18 months, but she only stayed with me for 3 weeks.

Eta: modern me understands that past me was a weakling for this.

SamaelET · 2021-09-19T21:01:51+00:00

I have a neighbor. He comes from a trad country where arranged marriages are the rules. His parents made him drunk, forced him to sign the marriage paper and his "wife" raped him while he was drunk.

enjoy03 · 2021-09-19T03:21:34+00:00

Ever heard of Indians?

mikesteane · 2021-09-19T02:19:39+00:00

One could argue that Prince Charles was forced to marry his first wife.

Edit: This, of course, is always portrayed as being a tragedy for her.

throwRA_SheIsBack · 2021-09-19T14:21:47+00:00

In India its a huge phenomenon.

atleast 10 men are forced into marriage per day and also raped

Its called Jabaria Shaadi or Groom Kidnapping.

source

Here a woman picks a man and her family points gun to his head and marries him, just so you know even here media points out women to be the victim itself as the husband usually won't be loving her

armaadi · 2021-09-19T18:09:09+00:00

In areas with arranged marriages, both the woman and man are married pretty much whether they want to or not. Now, they both get a say in who they marry, but there isn't an unlimited amount of options and you will be married.

DiamondWolf19 · 2021-09-19T02:18:04+00:00

In India, it is common for the parents to arrange marriages for their children, this includes males.

Asmodium27 · 2021-09-19T06:53:38+00:00

I'm sure a man has been blackmailed into it

men married and blackmailed

https://www.hindustantimes.com/cities/others/gang-of-women-fraudsters-held-for-faking-marriages-blackmailing-groom-101629996443425.html

ThiccBoyChampa · 2021-09-19T01:05:15+00:00

Yeah in an arranged marriage, neither the man or women get to choose, its the parents who choose, which often times leaves both the man and women being super unhappy.

Tanman55555 · 2021-09-19T04:59:29+00:00

Parent organized marriages went both ways

bhaybheet · 2021-09-19T09:31:07+00:00

Ever heard of Indian parents and nosy relatives?

SidewinderTA · 2021-09-19T17:04:33+00:00

https://news.sky.com/story/number-of-men-being-forced-into-marriage-reaches-seven-year-high-11727985

Stuck_in_a_Ditch · 2021-09-19T07:49:08+00:00

I am in a relationship where I am constantly being told that it is unacceptable to be living together and not getting married. The thing is, that argument falls flat. She was previously married and has taken years to actually get her divorce settled. It only just went through this week. Being divorced in her culture is also bad so she should be happy someone was trying to stay in a relationship with her. Despite this, I have been getting told I am horrible for not buying a ring. The thing is, she has anger issues and things rarely feel stable for more than a week at time. All of my friends that know about her bad side say there are too many red flags and to leave. I think it is about time to do so. She has many good characteristics and a good career. But overall the bad outweighs the good.

Notuanks3 · 2021-09-19T01:08:23+00:00

Too many

EgalitarianFacts · 2021-09-19T04:24:34+00:00

Ever heard of a "shotgun wedding"?

vhisic · 2021-09-19T08:21:10+00:00

The phrase "shotgun wedding" should provide all the answers you need for that question.

Good_Stuff11 · 2021-09-19T12:06:25+00:00

Yes, that’s what an arranged marriage is. It’s forced on both sides to a certain degree and I know in different cultures it’s much worse. Don’t have resources but do have personal anecdotes.

harrylukin · 2021-09-19T05:30:54+00:00

Ever heard of arranged marriages? Wow

TAPriceCTR · 2021-09-19T06:53:37+00:00

ever hear of a shotgun marriage?

sahinbey52 · 2021-09-19T08:26:08+00:00

Depending on the meaning of 'forcing'. My mom and dad too always tells me "you need to marry", "your marriage age has come" etc. My gf wants to get married while I don't really want.
Are these considered as forcing?

Mohammedmkh1990 · 2021-09-19T10:39:35+00:00

Yes when i was 17 i forced to marry a girl but i didn't accept it and then I try to stay on my own feet and leaving my family till now I'm mgtow

yoman076 · 2021-09-19T12:34:27+00:00

Ever heard of baby trapping?

SenseiGiraffe1337 · 2021-09-19T12:51:59+00:00

All the time man, but usually its because they had a child together, which the the mother sometimes uses as leverage to get married. Gotta love America lol

ash33010 · 2021-09-19T05:41:48+00:00

India is full of such examples. Tbh, a guy marrying someone they like and because they want to, is still a minority of all marriages in India.

Family pressure builds up and people ultimately relent and get married to whoever their family tells them to.

Da7mX · 2021-09-19T08:30:48+00:00

Depends on the location and cultures tbh

New_Engineering3987 · 2021-09-19T09:32:29+00:00

Yeah I had a mate in college who had to drop out as he got forced into an arranged marriage poor lad was contemplating suicide he was so depressed

LegendaryEmu1 · 2021-09-19T11:41:35+00:00

Yes, child grooms in india happen at a slightly lesser rate than child wives.

And plenty of men get 'trapped' into marriage with the woman getting herself pregnant.

Hell, some men are forced, legally, to produce children.

LW_YT · 2021-09-19T14:52:00+00:00

When a girl gets accidentally pregnant and forces the man to marry her, or else he'll need to pay for child support

Ready_Inevitable2718 · 2021-09-19T15:24:30+00:00

Yes, any crime you can think of without getting too creative has happened. Most estimates I have seen put 14-20% of victoms of forced marriges as male. It mostly happens in south and southeast asia where gay or suspected gay men are forced by their family to marry a woman and, in rare cases, sometimes better educated men are kidnapped by lower class/caste families in hopes of attaining a better life for their daughter at any cost. However, I have to wonder why you didn't just google this. To be frank, I fear you are looking for a talking point to say that women forced into marriges "isnt a big deal" or "happens to both genders" and that is just destructive rhetoric. I dont mean to accuse you or make assumptions but we need to be pushing for everyone to have a better life and I have seen people do that far too often.

asura227 · 2021-09-19T15:32:33+00:00

Never heard of a shotgun wedding huh?

Arael666 · 2021-09-19T15:33:26+00:00

Do a quick google search for "kidnap marriage india", there are a lot of other countries that do this but india is by far the biggest offender

MrMacDoctor · 2021-09-19T16:32:27+00:00

HAH yes.

Crpto_fanatic · 2021-09-19T17:41:29+00:00

Yes, it’s called surprise pregnancies. Those are the equivalent to arranged marriage

Cool_Weather_7763 · 2021-09-19T18:08:09+00:00

I mean would any man get married if they didn’t have to?

Alarming_Draw · 2021-09-19T20:31:55+00:00

Seriously? All the time, in the same cultures women get forced.

How is this even a question

HumbleMagicJack · 2021-09-19T20:40:44+00:00

Idk about forced but pressures and manipulated? Absolutely

sault18 · 2021-09-19T21:31:37+00:00

I was a dumbass for getting into my first marriage. I started dating her in high school and the relationship lasted into college. As we got closer to graduation, she said she'd follow me to wherever I got my first job. My dumb ass thought, "might as well marry her".

I mean, I'd feel like shit if she moved away from her family and job prospects only for us to break up. It was immense pressure that I put on myself thinking of her needs instead of trying to determine if marrying her was what I really wanted. I never thought that we're both adults and if she wanted to move with me across the country, then it was tough shit if things didn't work out.

By the time I proposed, we had long finished with the infatuation phase and moved into a cold but comfortable routine of a relationship that just kept going because it was never consistently bad enough for me to leave. I actually did try to dump her once, but women can definitely get away with a dogged persistence to reel a man back in that a man would be thrown in jail for doing the same thing.

TL:DR self imposed pressure on men can get us into marriages that we really shouldn't be getting into.

ignatztempotypo · 2021-09-20T04:13:24+00:00

You've never heard of a "shotgun wedding"?

kvakerok · 2021-09-20T19:36:01+00:00

In USSR it was culturally common to intentionally get pregnant while fooling around and then force guy into marriage with rape claim blackmail. Since USSR was too technologically backwards for a DNA test, the baby was used as a "proof" of rape. All the courts were stacked against men in this, so it was basically either marriage or 10 or 15 years iirc in a prison camp in Siberia, where due to "rape" part of the sentence the accused male was to basically become "free use of all holes" bitch for the entire prison population.

Unfortunately it's impossible to either prove it disprove such stories, so take it with a grain of salt.

fanclockbedsheet · 2021-09-20T21:42:20+00:00

Yes, obviously. Why do people act like forced marriages are only a female thing?

People say forced marriage is a women's problem in middle eastern and Asian countries, no it's not, it's a cultural problem that affects both men and women. In many of their cultures mom and dad will decide who you marry, and depending on how crazy your parents are, you will be forced into it, doesn't matter if you're male or female.

Accomplished_Fly6554 · 2026-01-23T15:09:59+00:00

I’m sorry that happened to you. I think this happens in more countries than we think. Sometimes is for religious reasons and sometimes for economic/social reasons.

no_user_ID_found · 2021-09-19T06:22:38+00:00

In most arranged and forced marriages the participants of the marriage both have no say in it. Families say who should marry who.

Title	Do men ever get forced into marriages?
Author	JackieNaper1907
Upvotes	164
Comments	114
Date	September 19, 2021 12:57 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/pqy8o9/do_men_ever_get_forced_into_marriages/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/do-men-ever-get-forced-into-marriages.1075652 https://theredarchive.com/post/1075652

Comments

atleast 10 men are forced into marriage per day and also raped

source