'Mansplaining' as a trans guy

sillymod · 2016-11-10T00:22:39+00:00

Mansplaining is not about being raised with privilege in a patriarchal society. It is about thought-terminating cliches. It is a manipulative argument tactic to shut you down so that your position is not heard.

Congratulations on your transition. I hope that these aren't common occurrences for you, but I will warn you that they are more common than you would like.

Equality is a noble goal. But abusing the push for equality in a power trip is what has happened.

HotDealsInTexas · 2016-11-10T01:22:07+00:00

Lemme guess... your friend is a "progressive" and "pro-LGBT" Feminist, right? But yet she treated you, a transgender person, as being inferior on the Privilege Scale.

You know why? Because no matter what type of man you are, whether you're poor, black, disabled, gay, or even trans, you will ALWAYS be inferior in the eyes of Feminists because of your gender. The difference between a "trans-exclusionary" and a "trans-inclusionary" Feminist is that the trans-inclusionary Feminists are okay with transwomen because they're women, while trans-exclusionary ones hate transwomen for being born male.

I have heard very little support for transmen in the "Tumblrsphere," and probably less support than posts that are actively hating on transmen and basically using the exact same "Transmen are privileged gender traitors" rhetoric as TERFs.

The LGBT movement has already turned on gay and bi men, it's no surprise that it's turning on transmen too.

Tedesche · 2016-11-10T02:04:31+00:00

Isn't mansplaining meant to be something caused by being raised as male in a patriarchal society and having an inherent sense of privilege??

That is the definition, as far as I'm aware of it. The problem I have with the term/concept is this: how do you tell who has an inherent sense of privilege and who doesn't?

As far as I can tell, there's no reliable way to do it. And that's the problem with the concept of "privilege" to begin with—no one actually feels like they have it. No one boasts about it, no one acknowledges it without first having been shamed for it; in other words, privilege isn't a human experience or feeling that people have. It's a sociopolitical shaming tool. This is the only consistent way in which you see it being used—as a label put on others by those who supposedly aren't as privileged. It's away to shame and silence someone, based solely on their race/gender/orientation/etc. In other words, it's racist/sexist/heterophobic, etc. That's the incredibly devious and ironic thing about the concept of privilege, it's purpose is to curb prejudice, and yet it is inherently prejudicial.

To play the devil's advocate against myself for a moment, a feminist would probably argue that privilege is specifically about an intersectional power structure, in which straight people enjoy perks associated with normativeness over gay and bisexual people, cis over trans, white over black, asian, latino, etc. The more axes on which you are "on top" of, the more privileged you are.

That academic framework for it makes privilege seem like a much more legitimate concept. The problem is it remains entirely abstract, and when you start applying it concretely to reality, the framework begins to break down very rapidly. Again, this is because no one actually feels privilege, and the socioeconomic benefits associated with it are actually dependent upon a much wider array of variables and circumstances. According to the intersecional model of privilege, a SWM from a small, poor, "backwater" town in Louisiana should have better job and education prospects than an inner city black lesbian. And yet we have a plethora of statistics at this point that clearly demonstrate that the latter is more likely to graduate high school, attend college, and go on to higher education than the former, based solely on her sex. Similarly, if you actually look at the hiring ratios for STEM fields (hires proportionate to number of applicants), women are nearly twice as likely to be hired in those fields as men—the reason there are more men in those fields is because far fewer women elect to go into them.

The point is that feminists has a lot of academic models, concepts, and narratives about gender and race that sound very sophisticated and which they honestly believe are accurate. And often, they are accurate. It's just that they aren't always accurate, and yet most feminists won't pay attention to those inaccuracies, because they call into the question the validity of the models/concepts entirely. Gender and race relations are exceedingly complex, but feminists have—with completely good intentions—reduced them to a comparatively simplistic hierarchical model of oppressor/oppressed. And really, it's not just feminists—this is a major failing of the civil rights era as a whole.

I would encourage you to keep an open mind about these issues and what you may be being taught by your parents, teachers, peers, etc. I'm not suggesting there's nothing to learn from feminism—there absolutely is. Just don't regard it as gospel. Take from it what seems accurate/useful to you, but question it, and leave what fails to withstand real scrutiny. Skepticism is by far the most important attitude one can learn to adopt from school. If a psychosocial concept you learn in school is actually true, you should be able to witness it in your day-to-day life.

Terribledragon4Hire · 2016-11-10T00:22:22+00:00

Not anymore. If you are a man, and you explain to a girl, she takes offence to it.

It doesn't matter if you know what you are talking about, or you talk to her like anyone else.

AtomicBLB · 2016-11-10T01:13:11+00:00

Mansplaining, as it's used most often today, is anything a man says to a woman that she disagrees with. Any attempt to use logic or facts only makes their response worse.

thrway_1000 · 2016-11-10T00:17:37+00:00

No matter what feminists say, it's just feminist approved sexism to shut down any man in any conversation. It's about feminists gaining social power, not sexism by men.

Funcuz · 2016-11-10T09:49:50+00:00

There's no such thing as "mansplaining". It was coined by people who spend more time looking for ways to be outraged than for words in dictionaries.

The word they mean, of course, is condescending but since it's not a verb they can't use it the same way. There are two ways to view it :

1 - You're being an asshole

or, more likely,

2 - You're dealing wtih somebody who just doesn't seem to get what you're telling them so you have to explain it to them like they're five years old. This is usually what people mean when they speak of "mansplaining". Idiots who don't understand their own language well enough to follow step by step instructions are resentful that it had to be explained to them step by step. This sort of thing will undoubtedly keep occurring based on the fact that things changed but your friends won't change the way you need them to. Not for a long time, anyway. Find other people in the trans community where you live. If you live in a small town, make friends on the net and look for a way to move to a place where there are others such as yourself with similar interests.

On another note, I would just put all those old friends in a box and leave it on the side for the garbage collectors. They're never going to just see you as a person, they're going to see you as either an ally in their cause or as somebody working to subvert it. Gradually they'll all whittle themselves away until there are none left. Find new friends for your own good.

nyolmonds · 2016-11-10T00:23:49+00:00

It's hard when a close friend starts drinking the tumblr koolaid and starts developing a victim complex.

But to give you some insight, "mansplaining" even as a concept is fucking bullshit. It's basically just something feminists came up with to shut down any man trying to give his perspective. Cause to them, women are always right and men are always wrong. Doesn't matter if cis or trans either. It's something that once was a joke that got turned into an abusive silencing technique.

It'd probably be best for you to put some distance between you and your friend if you feel she's becoming toxic. Maybe make some more friends or spend time with someone you know wont be too easily influenced by her and her feminism. In case it may come to you having to sever that friendship.

I lost my best friend almost the same way too when she began to turn "tumblr." It sucks and it hurts but there isn't much you can do to persuade them otherwise.

EDIT: Fixed some typos.

splodgenessabounds · 2016-11-10T08:22:41+00:00

Isn't mansplaining meant to be something caused by being raised as male in a patriarchal society and having an inherent sense of privilege?? I was raised as a girl so that doesn't even make any fucking sense by their own standards? Also even by their standards transgender people are less privileged so what the fuck???

As a straight(ish) white male shitlord of 50-something (on which basis I daresay I should have been "dealt with" ages ago), I really do appreciate it when younger people who've gone through what you've gone through with say stuff like this. You have a perspective most of us haven't and - unlike your "friend" - you've gained it through real-life experience.

Sod gender theory. Sod intersectionality. Sod blind allegiance to "ism". Experience trumps all of them.

liztheheretic · 2016-11-10T01:16:34+00:00

"Mansplaining" is bullshit. It's a way to dismiss what you're saying because they don't want to hear it. It doesn't matter if you fall under their pet groups, if you disagree you become just as bad as the cishetero white etc etc patriarchal male, with an added side of either condescending pity for your internalized ism or aggressive vitriol for being a traitor to ~~the feminist narrative~~ your own kind.

Hope you can get your friend to come around. It's impossible to have a real conversation with someone who believes in mansplaining.

upsidedownbackwards · 2016-11-10T01:43:05+00:00

If you are transitioning, shouldn't be "mansplaining" be a badge of honor?

JestyerAverageJoe · 2016-11-10T11:20:12+00:00

Congrats! Take it as the biggest ever compliment that you're fully passing. You're so authentically male now that you've shed your female-bodied past like it never even happened! /s

Yes. It's fucking stupid. "Mansplaining" means "a man saying something I don't like."

EricAllonde · 2016-11-10T00:45:46+00:00

Kids, I think we all learned an important lesson here today: don't be friends with feminists.

Cut 'em loose and leave them to be alone with their cats.

ChaosOpen · 2016-11-10T07:33:21+00:00

Originally, mansplaining was something along the lines of a man insulting a woman's intelligence solely on things such as a period or what it was like wearing a bra or something akin to that. Topics that a woman would know inherently, basically "I already know that, can you get onto your point?"

However, it has become a catch-all term of anything a man is explaining to a woman, it is a very convenient tool in censorship. The man could be trying to explain to a woman that it doesn't exactly tickle when one is kicked in the balls, well that is "mansplaining." In this way, a man is unable to explain his point to a woman because then he would be "mansplaining" At that point, she does not allow him to even attempt to refute her point. So, since he cannot make an argument counter to her point, it is much easier for her to just assume she is right.

Feminist have a very simple way of thinking, you really have to turn your brain off to buy into feminism, so that is what they have done. They basically say "okay, I'm right and there exist no other option" and at that point, they have no reason to listen to any counter points because they assume their case is rock solid. Which is often why instead of refuting your point they will simply tell you to familiarize yourself with their point.

On a side note, I'm pretty sure the term "educate yourself" comes from a feminist who claims to hold a position on something but is unable to explain exactly what that position is. Most likely they look up to someone in an almost cult-like appeal, and don't feel the need to listen, believing that they have the answers and that they are right, so there is no reason for them to even familiarize themselves with the position, they only to obey orders.

Atheist101 · 2016-11-10T03:19:47+00:00

Your friend is the reason Trump was elected. I really hope the sane feminists learned their lesson that allowing these SJWs to take over is destructive not only to feminism as an idea but to equality in general.

TheSummerain · 2016-11-10T04:36:08+00:00

Sorry to laugh...but just imagining a woman calling you out for mansplaining...I can stop laughing at the how stupid that is.

Rasalom72 · 2016-11-10T05:45:04+00:00

If I hear the word mansplaining, I just look at them and say "I am discounting anything you say, because you have a vagina... you're opinion is worthless."

Lice138 · 2016-11-10T14:49:40+00:00

Mansplaning is just something people say when they don't want to admit they said or asked something really stupid.

while in car: The airconditioning is broken, i keep turning it on and nothing happens

That is because you are playing with the radio buttons, the AC controls are right next to it

Thanks for mansplaining

RichardSaturday · 2016-11-10T17:32:35+00:00

Mansplaning is just what females use to describe logic since they don't posess such qualities they need to coin a derogatory phrase to get their childish point across. Kind of like "bromance", women are so stuck up and foreign to the concept of a real friend they have to hide behind their shitty, shallow attitudes and just insult people to make themselves feel better. Its quite sad...

WillMeatLover · 2016-11-10T06:08:57+00:00

Your friend is a shit person. Whether your ideas are right or wrong is determined by their merits and not by your sex or any other biological attribute.

theDodgerUk · 2016-11-10T07:38:30+00:00

Can you tell us , when you got your male privilege membership card. I never got mine , I was wondering if it's just though the post or does someone in real life give it to you /s

eixan · 2016-11-10T07:41:59+00:00

I have always wondered why men who are born in female bodies dont decide to just roll with it. I mean obviously most do considering that the majority of people who transition on this sub are women even though reddit at large is mostly populated by men:

https://www.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/5ar0o2/about_9_out_of_every_10_people_on_rtranstimelines/

But why are transmen a thing? Women can dress up in t-shirt and jeans everyday for the rest of her life and not get shit over it. If I woke up in a female body tomorrow and looked at the mirror I'd be like "thats particular" and go about the rest of my day.

XxswagtasticxX · 2016-11-10T12:27:50+00:00

Don't listen to them, it's perfectly fine to be trans, and I think you're really brave to be going through that. Especially as a teenager. That said, the term "mansplaining" is just used to shame those who try and help.

Shubrook · 2016-11-10T12:33:09+00:00

You are both still kids - people say dumb shit sometimes.

On the other hand, why is she your friend? You use the term ally - which is very different.

She gains a lot of social status by having a gay bff. What are you gaining from your time spent with her?

Senno82 · 2016-11-10T13:08:33+00:00

If anything - it proves you've made it as a guy!

Seriously though i hate the term. Such a stupid word...

xXMetatronXx · 2016-11-10T14:11:13+00:00

I am an old white male so you will likely view my comments as shallow, but I have a developmental disorder and I need to ask questions to understand certain concepts, I lack the ability to read so far into things so as to understand them.

So my first question is if I can't see or don't care what configuration your genitals are in how does that put you at a disadvantage by our/their standards, it is a serious question please don't take it personal.

I never heard of mansplaining, a young volunteer told me I was doing it once, I thought yes I am a man and I am explaining so I agreed with her.

Comment: the reason feminists get all up in arms about you abandoning ship is because the woman in that group are angry and angry people like to fuel the agenda, so when you leave they view it in a very inward selfish manner, careful, I have seen peoples lives ruined by unruly feminist behavior gone unchecked.

When you say "ALLIES" when describing people who empathize with you, by this statement it would seem to me your alienating the rest of the world, and by nature of that you separate yourself from the the collective population not the other way around, it is not the people, it is peoples perceptions, including yours, like if your not my Ally you must be my "_______" fill in the blank. Why can't I just be a dude with a penis and you can just decide what you want and I will be okay with it, and if I was concerned with only having just a penis and not a penis and vagina together you would also support me and be my ally, so why is it always a preconceived idea that just because I am perceived as normal I am not your friend or "ALLY", to that I say okay if you no longer want to participate in an equal exchange I am okay with it, I accept instead your desire to separate and fight, and because I am also human I will respond defensively when I am labeled as such because after all I am now being labeled, see how THIS is counterproductive as well? If this is how transgendered people demonstrate how they want it, we are better served to ignore the transgender demographic rather than to try help you articulate your position in society that is based on your genitals and not buy any achievement or merit, When you jump on to reddit you are percieveing an audience that will care about what junk you have, and why people treat you differently because of it. I am fat, I could get lipo suction but I can't see the connection between how you perceive me and my quality, or the percieved benefit I would have when people view me as a person who is unaturally different than what nature gave me, you want ot be accepted and normal right? So be normal, buy getting surgery yand shouting to the roof tops on Reddit is not a way to illicit respect and empathy from perceived normal's like me, so I decrease my resoluton and the transgender community fades into black for me. People distance those groups and want nothing to do with the drama, we will all just show up once a year and marvel at the Spectical of the Pride day parades and explain to our kids that these people are opressed on there sexuality so we let them have a parade because they thought it was important to let the world know how they feel. I have no time for you or your cause mostly because the nature of your protest excludes me from the dialogue. I think that you have some maturing to do, when the world has chewed you up and your 40 and on your knees you will succumb to the majority as we all have so when your old and the kids are oppressing you because of your appearance or views, ad you open your eyes you may just find that the world is a much different place than it once was and, they make a pretty good argument

CountKoala · 2016-11-10T14:43:59+00:00

I thought manspaining was first used to give a word to a man explaining something he hasn't and can't experience himself and thinking he is right because he is a man. Then people starting to use it as a privilege thing to shut arguments down?

galtthedestroyer · 2016-11-10T16:34:27+00:00

I hope you feel welcome here. Occasionally there are posts and comments that are against the entire concept of being trans. Hopefully they will not deter you from coming here.

kragshot · 2016-11-10T18:24:57+00:00

Hey, dude!

Welcome to the dark side! We have Guinness stout and smoked meat; you'll love it here!

Seriously, though...like water on a duck's back; just let that shit go and get on with your life, bro.

Shields42 · 2016-11-10T19:58:28+00:00

I've already had to deal with tumblr "feminists"

See there's your problem. Tumblr is literally the ass of the internet. It's just a bunch is special snowflakes that need a safe space and want to blame all their problems on straight white men. You deserve better company than those morons. Reddit has your back.

thefilthyhermit · 2016-11-11T05:14:22+00:00

You no longer matter to them. You transitioned. Switched sided. Betrayed the XX mafia. It is as if you were physically born and raised male. Welcome to the team.

FeminismIsAids · 2016-11-10T00:18:54+00:00

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

levelate · 2016-11-10T01:45:27+00:00

let me get this straight, not bullshitting.

you agree with the premise that 'mansplaining' is a thing, but that it cannot apply to you, is that what this is?

Putrid_Knowledge9527 · 2021-10-21T09:58:57+00:00

Transphobes always say "Misandry doesn't exist" to eliminate the existence of trans men. Because hating trans man also misandry (just same as hating trans woman is misogyny).

morpheustech · 2016-11-10T00:29:57+00:00

Well, if it makes you feel better, I have to live with this kind of nonsense day in and day out. Pray for me.

someonecallamedic · 2016-11-10T15:12:46+00:00

Mansplaining is like calling someone hitler. It's meant to shut them up and make everyone around them form a poor opinion of you based on nothing, however, once people think less it's hard to turn them around.

I didn't vote for either party, but trump is society's reaction to being called sexist, racist, bigot, homophobe who has to mansplain everything.

Title	'Mansplaining' as a trans guy
Author	boygeorge-ftm
Upvotes	76
Comments	116
Date	November 10, 2016 12:00 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/5c4ome/mansplaining_as_a_trans_guy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/mansplaining-as-a-trans-guy.937851 https://theredarchive.com/post/937851

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