never get married

SonGarwood · 2013-05-09T21:41:54+00:00

She apparently had him jailed again once he was released, for failure to pay alimony.

Fuck this. Fuck everything. I'm out. I can see this man committing suicide in the future, and no one will care because he was just the 'deadbeat' dad who couldn't pay child support.

ketebwoy · 2013-05-09T19:46:57+00:00

This terrifies me man. If my wife got mad enough she could make this happen to me. Shits not fair.

espoira · 2013-05-09T22:09:13+00:00

Here's the MESSED up part of this. http://coloradolitigation.wordpress.com/2013/03/28/in-re-the-marriage-of-regina-t-drexler-and-charles-b-bruce-jr-2013coa43-march-28-2013/

She's a freaking lawyer too after some brief research. He's paying a total of 17000 dollars a month. 12k to her even though she's a lawyer herself? Just shows how off balance the court system really is.

TheMightyCheng · 2013-05-09T22:38:47+00:00

This was a guy who's educated, had resources and presumably some knowledge of the court system and he still got screwed over.

What with this and some of the other horror stories I've heard, why on earth would anybody want to get married? It's like being a nudist and keeping an alligator in the house - you're hoping that despite the statistics not being in favour, you're NOT going to get your balls ripped off.

You know what, how about every time we see a "Where have all the good men gone. Why can't I find a good man to marry meeeee."- just post this link.

AnnArchist · 2013-05-09T21:55:12+00:00

Fuck that judge

murphymc · 2013-05-09T21:39:18+00:00

How can anyone even vaguely sane think this makes sense. If he owes money how does throwing him in jail help? Like, at all. It's not like you make money whilst incarcerated, or at least not in any significant quantity.

If I remember my history correctly, and I do, the entire idea of debtor's prison was deemed to be a direct affront to everything the constitution stands for. This man is in debtor's prison with a new name. Disgraceful.

2013-05-09T20:35:55+00:00

This shit is insane it has to stop.

LeapFroggingDicks · 2013-05-09T22:03:51+00:00

Im not married nor have I ever been. As a man, everything Ive seen in life and information Ive gathered about marriage all leads up to me being completed horrified of what could happen to me as a man seeking life time companionship with a woman. The benefits of marriage (for a man) are simply not worth the risk. A woman can recover easily from a divorce with all the government programs in a place to support her after. A man has nothing to help him cope or support during and after the process, in fact, its the opposite. He is forced to pay, pay, and pay more. PAY EVERYONE! And all it takes for this to happen is the whim of his wife to leave him and say a few lies in divorce court. NO THANK YOU!

Anq · 2013-05-09T20:46:55+00:00

Yeah. That was definitely the last nail in the coffin as far as my partnering ambitions go.

2013-05-10T01:59:34+00:00

Fuck American women.

kingdomgnark · 2013-05-09T21:47:10+00:00

what the even hell

MRMRising · 2013-05-09T23:31:06+00:00

This should be cross posted to r/MarriageStrike.

The_Thane_Of_Cawdor · 2013-05-09T21:22:30+00:00

what the fuck man

geengaween · 2013-05-10T02:36:20+00:00

His ex has the power to put him in jail and to get him out of jail. How exactly did this happen, where a guy's vindictive ex wife can decide such things?

SonGarwood · 2013-05-10T03:41:12+00:00

I am sick and tired having to worry about having to protect myself from these blood sucking lawyers.

MRAreader · 2013-05-09T21:12:14+00:00

Anyone have link to the original without the added commentary.

Invalid_Target · 2013-05-10T00:40:57+00:00

this made me physically ill.

poor guy.

thank the gods I'm gay.

bigkax · 2013-05-10T01:17:27+00:00

Right here is a legitimate reason for a husband to just leave or fake his death or something. Jump the border to Mexico, it can't be worse than this. Disposable male right there.

mvrk10256 · 2013-05-10T01:50:06+00:00

Biggest issue here is that he is playing by the rules. When people go after you like she is going after him, you gotta drop the nice guy routine, and hit below the belt.

Riverscr · 2013-05-10T03:00:26+00:00

TL;DR: This is pretty interesting. He appealed and lost. She gets to eat his retirement and when that runs out she comes to the negotiating table with all the power and he has to find a (non JD) job that hires people with jail time. Also, on a cynical note, depending on his total retirement she might have gotten more if she had kept him out of jail for more than the contempt and worked out payments that would have lasted...

For those with time to read: Brief of his appeal

I liked the last line of P27 and I guess for thoroughness reading the reference would be a good idea...P11 was interesting too because the judge sits there and criticizes Virginia's state code for doing things differently and potentially being in conflict with a federal law. Technically they're just critical of a precedent that doesn't fit with what they need to shore up their ultimate ruling but it seems like they could have done that without being critical of Virginian law itself (it'll work itself out in the Virginia appeals court if it's really a problem).

Anyway, this has been around for a while and the March 28th update was this so we'll go over what I think was said.

1) He worked at a large firm and they calculated the portion of his income that "should" go to his children via his ex-spouse= 17k/month in total.
2) He failed to pay and then refused to comply with a court order to pay allow his ex access to his retirement plan (after he had racked up ~100k in debt). They argued over this based on both federal and state levels and found that his position failed because his defense from the state level was not thorough due to a lack of precedence (~P11) and even if it were it would be superseded by federal law (P13 on).
3) He appealed and lost due to not requesting a specific hearing (P25-27) and the court was not obligated to have one without a request (who knows why, could have had to do with his contempt time in jail or the period after but that's the dramatist inside hoping for something interesting).
4) The only upside of this upholding of the ruling is that he probably won't pay his ex's attorney fees for the appeal...this is due to an opinion stated in P30 about a need for clearly being frivolous to award those sanctions. Still doesn't matter though since he lost the ex gets to dip into his retirement while he's scrounging around for a new job (the appeal ruling probably won't help with his BAR issue) and paying what he can to prolong going back to prison - which will happen unless he and his ex come to an agreement.

My opinion is that this blows for him and the interpretation of the law with regards to setting child support payments according to income and whether withdrawing from an ex's retirement is rightly covered by the law (they point out that this is legislative so try writing your congressmen and see if they have half a clue what you're talking about) places these things out of balance, at very least in this case or in cases where income changes after the ruling*.

*Even worse is that it's at the apparent discretion of one of the parties involved.

SS2James · 2013-05-10T03:54:14+00:00

Wow, this is legit scary.

Thisismynetlife · 2013-05-10T00:32:30+00:00

Exactly. As a previously married person, who thankfully came out on top, I would suggest that you NEVER tie the knot. I have seen so many friends get absolutely fucked by the system, and my burden of proof for custody was astronomically high while the ex had to prove nothing. Thankfully I had rock solid evidence of patental neglect, otherwise I too would be a victim of the family court steamroller. Again, NEVER get married.

Bobsutan · 2013-05-09T23:16:51+00:00

Cliffs of the video? Some of us are at work.

luxury_banana · 2013-05-10T09:37:00+00:00

Barbarossaa covered this over a year ago.

Abbrevi8 · 2013-05-10T00:08:22+00:00

Why there isn't rioting in the streets over this is beyond me.

AryoBarzan · 2013-05-10T01:32:41+00:00

This hard-working man should be grateful we have feminists around to create laws which place hard-working fathers like himself in prison for being unable to pay alimony. Ironically enough, feminists don't seem interested in addressing an age-old, "patriarchal" law like alimony. Yay for those brave, gender egalitarians! Surely, feminists had men like him in mind when they made these laws.

I_am_Norwegian · 2013-05-10T09:42:51+00:00

This makes me so mad. Fuck everything about this shit. Seriously.

HAQ_be · 2013-05-10T15:30:10+00:00

Did anyone noticed that there are 2 women sitting in front of him when he asked for his job back?

Deviant_Fart · 2013-05-10T08:43:24+00:00

Prenuptial agreement.

inc0gn3gr0 · 2013-05-10T05:37:06+00:00

Prenup. Ya, this is a really messed up story and she should be ashamed of herself. She's a real cunt.

ColrathD · 2013-05-10T04:17:11+00:00

Why the fuck would i feel sorry for someone that got married and then got fucked because of it? If you're so afraid of being alone that you have to resort to that then you're weak and deserve to get fucked over.

Title	never get married
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	135
Comments	59
Date	May 9, 2013 7:31 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/mensrights/comments/1e0qhf/never-get-married/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/never-get-married.1612374 https://theredarchive.com/post/1612374

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