Role model

SlyPogona · 2024-07-18T20:19:16+00:00

"Men are heartless because a study said they leave their wifes when they're sick"

"Wow, she left his dying husband, stunning and brave"

BEEZY086 · 2024-07-18T20:16:30+00:00

So much for "in sickness and in health"

Darkwing-Official · 2024-07-18T20:12:12+00:00

'I divorced my dying husband to look after my own wellbeing - I'm not a bad person'

I especially enjoyed this part:

"Yana hopes her story will encourage other women who might be struggling. "I feel we, especially women, are just usually brought up is the mentality to serve others, but when you go against it, you learn a lot about resilience and self-awareness," she explained.

Rabbitino · 2024-07-18T21:05:53+00:00

Reminds me of the gal that left her husband because he had brain cancer I think. She of course posted it was for her mental health. She did a 5 or 10k run in his name..garbage human being

tilldeathdoiparty · 2024-07-18T21:22:36+00:00

Man I feel for that guy, hopefully she doesn’t get anything in the divorce…. Oh wait, she will get the gold standard of fairness

JT98191 · 2024-07-18T22:28:51+00:00

What a bitch

conradfart · 2024-07-19T05:21:50+00:00

I had to have years of therapy to learn that I am not a horrible person for making the decision that I did.

No, you are absolutely a horrible person for that, if we judge you just on what is hopefully the worst thing you ever did.

The best you can hope for is for you and the people around you to realise you aren't just the worst thing you ever did and perhaps you aren't a horrible person despite that.

If years of therapy led you to instead cognitively reframe leaving a dying spouse as a brave, laudable act I'd call that a huge waste of time and money.

Specific-Ad3525 · 2024-07-19T06:58:04+00:00

I don't often comment here but when you have to say to everybody "I'm not a bad person" you probably don't believe what you're saying yourself

independance_soft1 · 2024-07-18T20:18:05+00:00

A lawyer advising a divorce in that situation for financial purposes is a good professional.

But this person is life coach.

walterwallcarpet · 2024-07-19T08:37:00+00:00

The stages of moral development. It was noted that males progress more frequently beyond Stage 4, implying that women lack moral reasoning skills. https://www.simplypsychology.org/kohlberg.html

Step right up Carol Gilligan. Outraged by this, she proposed that female morality was different to male morality, with female morality based on principles of compassion and care. This is mainstream psychological stuff, but is actually prime gaslighting. Here's what Florence Nightingale, founder of modern nursing, thought of female compassion. https://machomag.blogspot.com/2020/04/women-arent-capable-of-love-says.html

Gilligan is correct that male morality is based on 'abstract' principles of law and justice. These are called deontic values, and arise through male systems of competition. Deontic reasoning gave advantages to civilisation. https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1468-0017.1996.tb00039.x

Female morality, by contrast, is founded on utilitarianism. What's in it for me? If its good for women and children, it is THEREFORE good for humanity. That kind of stuff. This leads to women's 4x preference for decisions which will advantage their own sex. https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2004-19340-007

Of course, once this sort of thing runs amok through society (as has been occurring since WW2), civilisation based on male deontic values is doomed. Females gain most evolutionary advantage by SUBVERTING deontic values. They'll justify this to themselves, and even write 'ethics' papers about how paternity fraud is a good thing, https://jme.bmj.com/content/medethics/33/8/475.full.pdf

Or celebrate the deception. https://www.spectator.co.uk/article/who-s-the-daddy/

So, sure.... leaving a dying husband..? Don't you know that this woman still has eggs which could be fertilised?

PROFESSA954 · 2024-07-18T22:38:01+00:00

"I feel we, especially women, are just brought up with the mentality to serve others."

I don't like how both genders tend to think Their gender is the one delegated specifically to service. Both mothers and fathers are expected to do Their part to raise, provide for, and protect Their children. Husbands are expected to be chivalrous, provide for, and protect Their wife. Wives are expected to cook and clean a bit more than Their husband since He's expected to provide more of the money and physical strength based physical labor, as well as being the one to go fight and die in war if conscription is used.

Don't believe men's gender role is as enforced and that the whole "toxic masculinity" thing is entirely Our fault? A significant portion of divorces are because the man lost his job. Basically signifying that men are usually only loved when They provide something. When the woman loses her job it rarely has an impact on the relationship or marriage. It doesn't even have to be a woman You know if You're not willing to put Your life on the line for her both men and women will shame You as the post on this subreddit about a woman being robbed shows.

TL;DR: Stuff is expected of both genders in a serious, committed relationship. Not abandoning Your partner in Their time of need is one of Them. "In sickness and in health" was part of Your vow to Them. This is desertion. A violation of a promise You made to Your spouse. Perhaps You're not a bad person overall... but You're not fit for a serious commitment like marriage. You may or may not be a bad person but one thing is certain: You weren't worthy of his ring, and deserve to be known as an oath breaker.

pissed_off_elbonian · 2024-07-19T10:17:30+00:00

“My husband had cancer, but I’m the real victim.”

Noted. This narc should vanish.

Jay-Ames · 2024-07-19T08:23:45+00:00

Can someone help me remember those wedding vows? I thought it was something like "for better or for worse" but reading this article I am sure I am totally wrong.

StarZax · 2024-07-19T08:42:42+00:00

Don't they understand that we're both expected to help each other ? If you really want to not shame women leaving their sick husbands, then don't cry when men don't help you when you're getting robbed or something.

What's tragic is how now neither wants to help each other, that's just crazy. It's perfectly normal to have expectations put onto each other. Does it mean we should be shamed when we fail to fulfill them ? I don't think so, it's normal to fail and from my own experience, that's why men were the only ppl able to give support (besides medical professionals), that's because they have the same expectations put on themselves and can relate.

The difference is, we aren't running away from those expectations. If we all do that, society is doomed. But some people keep pushing over and over .... Men aren't machines who are going to provide for nothing in return no matter what.

Electronic-Quail4464 · 2024-07-18T22:43:39+00:00

UK women are truly a different breed of garbage. I wouldn't even casually conversate with that trash. Literally the worst of the worst in humanity.

Oof, it has occurred to me that I might be illiterate. I saw the website and jumped to a conclusion. I still stand by my statement, it's just not relevant here. Lol

redditme1 · 2024-07-19T19:39:05+00:00

She is a piece of garbage. Sadly, this is not uncommon.

SleepLivid988 · 2024-07-20T02:03:21+00:00

My husband passed from testicular cancer. He was first diagnosed at 31 and it came back twice, the second time with a vengeance (all over). I was only there for his last 4 years as we were both married to other people before that. He was my high school sweetheart and the love of my life, and passed away at 41. I had a lot of trouble dealing with my own mental health once he was told he was terminal. Know what I did? Talked to a doctor and got on Zoloft. Did everything I could to support him no matter what. Granted I was in my late 30s and not early 20s, but still. What she did is not something to be proud of.

As an aside, although I take breast cancer very seriously, I feel like there should be more awareness about testicular cancer and screening. Football players wear pink in October, but never speak about men’s health. (I am a woman)

Inevitable_Dark3225 · 2024-07-19T00:33:53+00:00

Boo fucking hoo.

Title	Role model
Author	Darkwing-Official
Upvotes	195
Comments	37
Date	July 18, 2024 8:09 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1e6kt7f/role_model/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/role-model.1524626 https://theredarchive.com/post/1524626

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