should men Cry?

No_Adhesiveness6440 · 2022-10-09T12:17:20+00:00

Cry if you feel like it. Don't if you don't.

Don't let others tell you what to do. Nobody cares if you do cry or not. Don't worry about pleasing others in your sorrow.

LiquidDreamtime · 2022-10-09T14:01:49+00:00

I’m a dad, husband, and brother. I earn a good living as an engineer, played college football, and I’ve had the privilege to travel a bit as an a adult throughout the US and abroad.

Pixar movies make me cry. My kids (3 girls) accomplishing something makes me cry. Me retelling heartfelt stories from books or movies I love make me cry.

I’m all man baby.

Kazzier · 2022-10-09T12:49:35+00:00

"Should men be allowed to have human emotions".

That's the more accurate way to ask the question.

ReWildingOfMen · 2022-10-09T14:52:22+00:00

Yes absolutely men SHOULD cry. Crying is an important emotional release that is essential for greiving and 'letting go.'

EVERY single emotion within our circuitry has a perfect purpose and wisdom to it. Sadness and grief and tears 8s primarily about releasing and letting go, so we are more able to move forward less burdened.

In older times, you could in times immemorial in a long forgotten world. Strong and wild men would weep and cry as necessary when they felt it. And would not be shamed for it by anyone.

Now I'm not saying that a man should 'cry like a baby' every time he is frightened and at every given thing.

Yes a man must develop his strength and unflappability, and ofc must learn to show no fear in the face of his enemies.

But to honour and allow and express our emotions freely among brothers and sisters of our tribe who love is and watch over us. Is a normal and natural and beautiful thing.

Unfortunately as we've lost contact with the sacredness of life as a people, with the divine... And as our competitiveness has had less healthy rails to run and be directed upon. As we've even become lost and corrupted as a species.

So it's made sense for a multitude reasons for men to repress their emotions.

But even today, say in aspects of the military, especially the more specialised and tightly knit brotherhood's/units, sports teams... Really anywhere where men have to work physically in brotherhood and serious competitiveness together... There is often a deep understanding and allowing of tears when they come. Especially around the grief of losing a brother.

I also have the privilege to know and have known, some incredibly dangerous and imposing yet good men, who likewise have all the space in the world for another man's tears.

It's a weak man that shames his son for crying, and that teaches him to be too hard and too stoic. Yes a man needs to prepare his son for the world, for war. But there is a way to do it that doesn't castigate the boy of his emotions.

And there are plenty of weak women also, who more than play their part in eviscerating their boys and men folk of genuine and free expression.

All of that being said, despite all the 'work' I've done to try and recover from the life time of abuse I've suffered from men and women... I still find it incredibly hard to cry.

But on those rare occasions that I do, if I am able I let it flow, I don't really give a flying fuck who sees, I've cried in public with tears running down my face more than once, although I am watching out for disrespect (which I would address) with my head held high as I do. I certainly don't feel shame about it. And god it feels a relief. I know that one day I will weep for days and days... Weeks infact, for the ocean of grief inside me to be released.

But there is such an automated response drilled into me by the modern world and those around me, that so often shuts any potential tears down. It is still difficult for now, to be freely expressed in this way.

LoneKharnivore · 2022-10-09T12:15:02+00:00

This question is as dumb as a bag of hammers. Of course they should.

One of the biggest problems men face is the socialised belief that they should bottle everything up.

ExMuzzy · 2022-10-09T12:18:06+00:00

Yes

The problem is that it isn’t received will by others and men are usually taught from a young age that “men don’t cry”

MarmiteTermite · 2022-10-09T13:17:50+00:00

Matt Walsh is a bit of an odd one. He likes to pit one side against the other . I do agree with some of the things he says, but the delivery is politically motivated and often intended to be divisive.

If you're more inclined to cry, you cry. If you're not, you don't. See how easy that is? There's absolutely no shame in crying. I personally see tears as a means of 'cleansing' us of junk. But again, it depends on your personal constitution and how your emotions are exhibited in your body. I wouldn't tell a boy not to cry if he's crying (unless it's real petty crap, but that petty crap I'd also be telling a girl to toughen up too).

IceCorrect · 2022-10-09T14:47:17+00:00

Most of conserwatives belive in gynocracy

The_Namez_B · 2022-10-09T15:41:12+00:00

I hate things like this. Look, whether you’re a man or woman, in this case men, if the situation is appropriate then cry. Don’t bottle emotions up but don’t become an emotional wreck. Both are unhealthy.

_BlueShark87 · 2022-10-09T21:05:44+00:00

Do what you feel like. If you don’t want to don’t. Pretty simple.

astros_fan_from_eu · 2022-10-09T12:31:45+00:00

Matt Walsh made the point that men shouldn't cry in public, short of a few exceptions. Which is 100% true.

kitten-cat08 · 2022-10-09T13:38:21+00:00

Telling men they shouldn’t cry is stupid af. No woman wants a guy who goes around boo-hooing about every little thing that goes wrong, but let’s be fair — no man wants a woman like that either. But to never cry at all? Not ever? That’s not just ridiculous, it’s unhealthy. Tears are the way we release negative emotion, and repressing that stuff can lead to high blood pressure, among other things.

EmirikolWoker · 2022-10-09T12:17:13+00:00

"Should men cry" as in "should men be allowed to cry if they feel the need to", or "should men be obligated to cry"?

Fuzzy_Department2799 · 2022-10-09T12:33:26+00:00

Women dont want men to cry because it shows they are human. They need the confident and fearless warrior to protect them and their children when things go south. But a man who doesn't cry isnt capable of processing emotions correctly and therefore cant lead well in the long-term. A woman who doesnt want a man who can allow himself the moment to be vulnerable doesnt want a partner but a tool to use to her advantage

RubMobile2126 · 2022-10-09T12:32:52+00:00

I have expressed to my son that it is OK to cry in front of very few people in his life. Most people will use his show of emotions against him.

Arrathall · 2022-10-09T13:04:34+00:00

Men can cry, but they shoould know they will be very unlikely to receive empathy for it, as they're not recipients of empathy

Longjumping_Fly_2978 · 2022-10-09T13:28:24+00:00

Yes, but till it will become accepted mainstream, it is better to start to cry only among men first.

paynetrain37 · 2022-10-09T15:46:31+00:00

For those who don’t understand what the phrase “toxic masculinity” means, Matt Walsh is a perfect example.

Crying is a normal human emotion, and people like Matt who want to stigmatize it and make you feel inferior for doing something that 100% of humans do is extremely toxic. It’s unnatural to just bottle up all your emotions to the point where you never even do something as simple as shedding some tears.

Men deserve better. We deserve to be able to feel emotion and not be shamed by the Matt Walsh-es of the world. They want to confine men into an unnatural and unhealthy version of masculinity, and nobody should support that.

Javi_Noire · 2022-10-09T15:51:04+00:00

Cry if you want to but only when you’re by yourself, never let anyone see you crying especially females. I cry all the time because of stress from college but no one knows I do it

EnforcementX · 2022-10-09T17:46:16+00:00

My opinion on this isn’t very popular but it’s something I truly believe.

Men shouldn’t cry in front of their SO’s and certainly not their children. Stoicism gets a bad rap but it is vital for men to adhere to it. Stoicism isn’t about having lack of emotions, rather, it’s about controlling your emotions.

Men, when it comes to interpersonal relationships - specifically in the nuclear family - are supposed to be pillars of strength. We’re problem solvers. We’re the crutch our families lean on for their own emotional support. It’s our duty to be strong. Crying doesn’t solve anything. It doesn’t fix anything. It certainly doesn’t help our families feel safer when we’re the ones responsible for providing security.

With that being said, if you’re in your emotions about something, that’s what your male friends are for. If you need help to overcome an emotional roadblock, you don’t need to ‘cry’ about it.. you need strong, logical reasoning. Just like you offer this to your family, your male friends can offer this to you.

This is important to teach our male children as well. It’s ok to feel the negative emotions that come, but what are you going to do about it? Crying won’t fix the issue, so what else can you do?

Bring on the downvotes, and I’m open to discussing this with anyone who disagrees.

MAGA-Latino · 2022-10-09T12:27:27+00:00

Well men are human too. But the sad truth is that it will be used against them if others see them cry.

Just look at the newest hate for Jordan Peterson. The same people that's been saying men should be allowed to cry are now laughing at him for crying.

Quix_Nix · 2022-10-09T13:13:29+00:00

You watched a video by matt Walsh, that's the problem (I just don't like Matt Walsh)

Familiar-Antelope316 · 2022-10-09T15:04:12+00:00

Crying is a biological process relating to the feeling of overwhelming emotion. If your stomach is empty, eating is the biological response, if you're dehydrated, drinking is the biological response, if your emotions are overwhelming (joy or sadness) crying is the biological response.

To deny the act of crying is to deny your humanity.

I understand where the idea that men shouldn't cry came up. Like a lot of our old though processes, it came from the time when we as a species were trying to survive in a dangerous wild world. Men being physically stronger meant they needed to be the providers, which meant working in hard dirty conditions, and being weak was seen as threatening not only to the person, but to their family for whom the man had to provide and the society that depends on them.

We don't live in those days (for the most part) anymore.

nakedv · 2022-10-09T15:57:20+00:00

Of course, like any human being.

vanduychr · 2022-10-09T18:03:27+00:00

Men cry, we dont cry in public and only around those that we feel safe crying around. I had someone run into my car after insurance i lost 7k of the loan i still owed and needed another car. So i was looking at loosing every dime i had to my name. I cryed infront of my gf and i ended up consoling her...... if your man doesnt cry infront of you its because he doesnt feel he will get her support. Hes afaid he will look week to you and leave him or that his feelings will be used against him later.....

YoWassupFresh · 2022-10-10T00:15:08+00:00

ideally men would be a stoic as possible in public and at the workplace. you shouldn't create a scene or anything. but at your home, do what you gotta do man. let that ish out.

HikuroMishiro · 2022-10-10T02:30:55+00:00

In my opinion people saying men should cry are as bad if not worse than people saying men shouldn't cry. If you feel like crying, go for it. If you don't, don't feel obligated to because of social pressure.

Almost any question dealing with 'should men do/don't...' is never going to have a universal answer. Societal expectations vary wildly as do individual opinions. Personally I don't cry, it's not a mechanism I need to process things. If a man cries every day over pretty minor things I'll probably be a little bit judgmental, but a man cries over the loss of a loved one or something I think that's perfectly reasonable.

Kilstradamus · 2022-10-10T11:16:39+00:00

People should show emotion however they want.

tiredfromlife2019 · 2022-10-10T13:16:48+00:00

Men can cry. Just don't do it with Women around especially a significant other cause they will look down on you.

Do it in private by yourself or male friends.

Reddit1984Censorship · 2022-10-11T18:42:16+00:00

Short answer is they should in a progressive society and shouldnt in a conservative society.

Title	should men Cry?
Author	Amarillo_Cocknballz7
Upvotes	0
Comments	43
Date	October 9, 2022 12:13 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/xzk6rl/should_men_cry/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/should-men-cry.1134485 https://theredarchive.com/post/1134485

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