Single fathers vs. Single mothers

nenenene · 2022-08-11T15:40:56+00:00

With a few possible exceptions, the children of single fathers do about as well in terms of internalizing behavior and academic performance (sometimes better)… However, the children of single fathers appear to be more likely to participate in externalizing behavior and substance use … As of yet, the few studies of young adults (as opposed to adolescents) do not seem to indicate significant long-term differences, as related to marriage, teen birth, and divorce, between those reared in single-father versus single-mother homes.

https://ifstudies.org/blog/five-facts-about-todays-single-fathers

This does slightly contradict the findings published in 2013 here - https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2013/07/02/the-rise-of-single-fathers/#profile-of-single-father-householders - that single fathers were less likely to have higher education. Statistically, children of parents who do not have a higher education are less likely to achieve higher education themselves.

I think one of the reasons it’s difficult to study differences in child outcomes is due to the disparities in ethnicity, and things like most single mothers were never married, while most single fathers are divorced. I’m also having a hard time finding statistics on how many single fathers vs single mothers get remarried/married to someone who is not a bio parent, which would also improve children’s outcomes.

Ultimately, single parenting is hard and associated with poorer universal outcomes for children. There’s also higher rates of stress and depression amongst single parents, with poorer longterm health outcomes for single moms and single dads being 2x as likely as single moms to die an early death. So based on the inherent hardship of being a single parent, I don’t think there’s going to be any “far and clear” objective indicator that going with one parent or another is the best, especially given how custody should be determined on the individual level.

What is notable, is the increase in rate of single fathers. It seems that more men are being awarded custody than ever.

duhhhh · 2022-08-11T14:10:35+00:00

I believe it is true. Mostly because the bar is far higher for men to get primary custody. Most are wealthy enough to afford good lawyers and willing to go way beyond what should be required for the good of their children in order to become a single father. If we select mostly wealthy women dedicated to their kids to become single mothers, then single mothers would look a lot better than they do too.

DavidByron2 · 2022-08-11T14:29:56+00:00

It wouldn't prove anything. The way things are the mom would have to be some sort of convicted criminal and psycho to lose custody so that could be the reason "bad fathers" aren't seen with custody but "bad mothers" are.

glass_brownies · 2022-08-11T18:45:44+00:00

I knew someone who grew up with a single father and he is a pretty garbage human. But the father was too. Point being, gender has nothing to do with how one is raised, it's the person.

denisc9918 · 2022-08-11T14:24:38+00:00

It would make sense tho, fathers are mostly always the enforcers of discipline. That's what keeps boys outa jail and girls off stripper poles.

I think I've heard of reports comparing fathers and mothers but I've never checked.

KazukiYahashi · 2022-08-11T14:25:17+00:00

I would definitely enjoy sources on that.

HeligKo · 2022-08-11T20:03:35+00:00

The problem with that stat is that so few fathers win custody in contested cases. With the courts proclivity to give women a pass on so many issues, the men who win often either have to be extraordinary or the women they were with have to be extraordinarily bad. The largest number of single fathers are widowers in the stats that I have seen in the past. You will find similar stats when kids are raised by widows, because the other parent isn't being degraded even though they aren't present.

fwoomer · 2022-08-11T14:20:08+00:00

I mean, I doubt any single father spends even a fraction of the time bitching about how hard it is to be a single parent and looking for handouts, hero-worship, and validation as your average single mother. They’re too busy giving their kids the best life possible to waste time on that.

RecoveringCoomer · 2022-08-11T18:57:27+00:00

There are many stats showing how kids are harmed from being raised without a father. But I have yet to see any stats about single fathers doing any worse than two parent homes.

Maybe there are simply not enough or even no studies yet.

I have heard anecdotes that single fathers who became fathers with surrogate mothers do pretty well. But that means they are also generally well-off, since surrogates cost quite a lot.

thealphateam · 2022-08-11T15:59:23+00:00

I think part of it is that men rarely get custody, its usually the female. The only way for men to get custody is to have the female be a total piece of shit. So in that light ya the father looks better.

GF1386 · 2022-08-11T15:04:34+00:00

My anecdotal observation is that when a boy doesn't have a father in the picture he has the opportunity to define his life. The perfect scenario is the guidance of a father who understands, respects and supports your personal journey to define who you will be as a man. In the absence of that support, your father with the best of intentions, can guide you into a career that they understand. My Dad was a Senior Executive at major companies. My passion was in the arts. He understandably was concerned how I would earn money in the arts, got me a corporate job and after a few years of good income it's hard to walk away. But if you have a big enough pot to grow in, you can figure it out and really should figure it out on your own. Only you really know your gifts, your weaknesses, your strengths and your real identity will evolve. Bill Clinton and Barack Obama are examples of men who had the absence of a Dad who might say "be realistic you can't be a President". The comedian Louis CK and the solo free climber Alex Honnold are two others I can think of who grew up without Dads. The key here is to have a Mother who gives love and support but does not kill dreams.

peeknic · 2022-08-11T16:21:28+00:00

Seemingly this is the case. Source and more details can be found in "The Boy Crisis" by Dr. Warren Farrell. It is a recommended reading for everyone who has a male in their life.

Feminists will say the data is skewed because you compare good fathers vs. bad mothers. This is not the case when tracking the development of different metrics for a broad sample of children over time. Seemingly, children raised by single fathers are outperforming kids raised by single mothers.

ALSO, children growing up with both parents are outperforming children raised by single mothers. So... obviously, it is great for kids to have a father in their life, despite the effort of feminists to advocate against the contrary. Feminist organizations (e.g. NOW) do actively lobby against shared custody, even when they KNOW it is bad for the children.

Another "fun" fact is that most children who are abused and/or murdered are done so at the hands of their mothers.

maxlvb · 2022-08-11T22:37:51+00:00

FYI:

Single Mothers

80% of all prison inmates, and 90% of all homeless and runaway children, came from single mother homes.

Bob Ray Sanders, “Hey Y’all, Let’s Fill The Hall (Of Fame), Ft. Worth Star Telegram, Oct.28,2007

63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes – 5 times the average.

(US Dept. Of Health/Census)

90% of all homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes – 32 times the average.
85% of all children who show behaviour disorders come from fatherless homes – 20 times the average.

(Center for Disease Control)

80% of rapists with anger problems come from fatherless homes –14 times the average.

(Justice & Behaviour, Vol 14, p. 403-26)

71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes – 9 times the average.

(National Principals Association Report)

70% of inmates in state juvenile detention centers serving long sentences, were raised by single mothers.

Wade Horn, “Why There Is No Substitute For Parents”, IMPRIMIS 26, NO.6, June, 1997

72% of juvenile murderers, and 60% of rapists came from single mother homes.

Chuck Colson, “How Shall We Live?” Tyndale House , 2004, p.323

Two thirds of all children murdered, are murdered by their mother.

Source: U.S. Dept of H&HS website ‘Child Abuse Statistics by Relationship’ March 2013

75% of all adolescent patients in chemical abuse centers come from fatherless homes – 10 times the average.

43% boys are raised by single mothers. 78% of teachers are female. So almost half of the boys have 100% female influence at home, and 80% influence at school. Toxic masculinity is not the problem. The lack of a masculine influence in the boys lives is.

https://thefatherlessgeneration.wordpress.com/statistics/

Children with Fathers who are involved are 40% less likely to repeat a grade in school.
Children with Fathers who are involved are 70% less likely to drop out of school.
Children with Fathers who are involved are more likely to get A’s in school.
Children with Fathers who are involved are more likely to enjoy school and engage in extracurricular activities.

Single mothers much more likely to live in poverty than single fathers, study finds

https://aces.illinois.edu/news/single-mothers-much-more-likely-live-poverty-single-fathers-study-finds

The Effect of Fatherlessness on Children

http://empathygap.uk/?p=2594

The Consequences of Fatherlessness

https://fathers.com/statistics-and-research/the-consequences-of-fatherlessness/

Five Facts About Today’s Single Fathers

https://ifstudies.org/blog/five-facts-about-todays-single-fathers

Two simple word that most feminists struggle to understand: Facts and Evidence.

dontbedarius · 2022-08-12T03:06:18+00:00

I actually made a video recently on my youtube explaining some of the harm that single mothers can do to their sons. I specified in the video about black boys but the same applies to all races and what can happen when a boy is raised by a single mother. Its not good and the US should be concerned about the rasing rate of single motherhood

Due_Cancel_3296 · 2022-08-12T15:22:59+00:00

I was a single dad. We used to share week on custody and kid was averaging a C grade average and unhappy. I won custody and after being with me for 10+ years, she’s an A average student in grade 11, wants to be a lawyer and happy as can be. If mom had custody, she would be caring for the subsequent 4 kids she’s had with different dads.

pearl_harbour1941 · 2022-08-19T15:15:34+00:00

Stefan Molyneux made a (now banned) youtube video about single mothers. Can be found here https://www.altcensored.com/watch?v=o1xf78EltKM

It's packed with truth bombs.

Why doesn't society want to think that women are terrible? That's the million dollar question!

Objective_Ad_8698 · 2022-08-11T15:50:06+00:00

I have a hard time believing that. They did a study and 1.4 million child abuse cases came from single mothers while only 600,000 came from fathers. I myself have seen that my mother wouldn't be a good single parent

rosewiththornzzz · 2022-08-11T20:40:43+00:00

If either parent is abusive then I think it’s best to keep the kids away from that one parent as much as possible. However, placing children with one parent over another simply based on statistic is not right. If both parents are all there mentally and capable of being good parents then I believe in joint custody completely. But, and I’d say this is the average was doing better with single mothers as well, placing the kids with a specific parent just because the average amount of children do better with said parent based on statistic, is not okay. Kids need both parents in their lives if possible

maryhartman000 · 2022-08-11T22:10:20+00:00

Depends on the parent.

allmyghtt · 2022-08-11T20:38:44+00:00

The only thing I don't like about this is its based on statistics so 40 single mothers with custody 20 kids succeed

10 single fathers with custody 9 kids succeed

Stats So of single parent children of mothers having custody only 50% succeed

While single parent fathers have a 90 success of there offspring rule the world so to speak

I'm guessing but that's mit what it sounds like

rabel111 · 2022-08-12T05:25:57+00:00

Single dads and single moms, I take my hat off to both. It's a hard job being a parent, harder still when doing it alone. There are no magic numbers when it comes to parenting, and we all do it perfectly imperfectly.

But there are differences in the ways our communities and our services react to single moms and single dads. Single moms are more likely to earn less than single dads, have more eligiblity for assistance schemes, and are paid more child support (based on non-custody parents income). So working moms experience more poverty, and get more assistance, but working dads get less child support from non-custody moms, and qualify for fewer assistancce services.

Single dads are less likely to repartner than single moms, are more likley to die young, are at increased risk of being reported to child services without reasonable cause, and are more likley to treated with suspicion by child services, schools, sports organisations, local facilities etc, particularly if the single father has a female child or very young children.

msennello · 2022-08-12T05:39:00+00:00

My estimation, based on divorce in the early 90s:

It's extraordinarily rare for a guy to get the kids at all, and the courts are all biased wildly in favor of the woman. That means the only way a guy is going to get the kids is if some fairly extraordinary circumstances arise, like that the mother is a crack addict murderer sentenced to life in prison and dad is an award-winning nuclear physicist and goddamned Eagle Scout.

Which means the comparison is between [luck of the draw] and [absolute best dads you could possibly get].

Pure speculation, but this is my guess.

Title	Single fathers vs. Single mothers
Author	SudetenNachkomme
Upvotes	93
Comments	70
Date	August 11, 2022 12:44 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/wlqi16/single_fathers_vs_single_mothers/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/single-fathers-vs-single-mothers.1127737 https://theredarchive.com/post/1127737

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