Hi guys, incoming rant. This is really hard for me to post. I’ve been contemplating reaching out for help about this for about 6 years but I feel I’ll just get laughed at because people are so ignorant on the topic. But I hope people in this community will take me seriously and maybe even relate, perhaps reading my misery will make you feel less alone.

I’m currently 18, and ever since I reached puberty I knew something was wrong. I began researching circumcision at age 12, and I’m pretty sure from that day on my youth was lost. I feel like I’ve missed out on growing up like a natural human being. Instead of maturing and having fun like a regular kid, I was sitting in my room in tears as I learnt about the physical and mental damage that had been done to me. My teen years have been plagued by depression, anxiety, body dysmorphia, paranoia and suicidal thoughts.

The difference between me and an older circumcised person is that I have had to grow up with this huge weight on my shoulders. A lot of you older guys on here I’m sure are pissed off too upon learning the truth, but at least you got to experience being an ignorant teenager. Learning about the damage later isn’t as hurtful because you considered circumcision normal and didn’t think about it for a lot of your life. (edit: Reading this part back I’m sorry if I come across as insensitive. It doesn’t matter what age you found out the truth, it’s still horrible. I didn’t really word it that well but I hope you get the point.)

I can say with 100% certainty that if this was never done to me, I would be the person I have always wanted, or felt like I should be. I think about it all the time, like I’m living in a fantasy. Like I’m here but not really. There is this dark energy in my head at all times that makes me overthink and second guess everything I do. It makes me hate myself for no reason. Like there is something wrong with me. The more I think about it, the more I realise that every mental problem I have had in my life can be tied back to the day I got mutilated.

I can’t even imagine without shame the idea of a girl loving me, or having sex. The way I perceive myself in my head is so messed up that I can’t even explain it. 0 self esteem at all. Even thinking about a girl I find attractive or seeing one, I immediately think of circumcision and feel sick to the stomach. I actively avoid any situation with girls because I feel like I am not even on the same level as them. I am inferiors, they are pure as nature intended, I am extremely damaged mentally and physically.

If you didn’t know, most circumcisions performed medically nowadays are very aggressive. Meaning they don’t just take the foreskin, they basically skin the penis of a huge amount of it’s skin. It completely ruins the natural growth and development of the organ. This post I am making isn’t an overreaction, in fact I think it is warranted. The doctor (sick fuck) who did this to me caused as much damage as possible. It’s almost as if he wanted to fuck me up beyond repair. I’m pretty sure mine was botched. They took too much skin and it hurts

The mental damage that circumcision causes is badly under researched, but I’m sure over the next 10 years the truth will start to seep out more and more. There seems to be a trend of emasculated, sad men at the moment, I’m positive this has something to do with it. Incels, chastity cages, school shooters, beta males all things that seem to be on the rise. I could go on. More and more boys like me are going to learn the truth, it gives you brain damage. This is only the beginning of the problems.

I could sit here and rant all day about how insanely fucked up the procedure is, but there seems to be no point. People who post about it in /r/unpopularopinion get downvoted. I feel like I’m living with insane people, how the fuck is this even a thing? There’s no point going to get professional help because they can’t fix it, and they’d call me a crazy conspiracy theorist.

I feel completely hopeless and want to give up. I don’t even care about my future because I know I will always be plagued by this sadness. I will never be actually happy. I hope Foregen comes out, but I really doubt it’s even going to happen in my lifetime. And even if it does, it can’t undo the damage to my character or give me back my youth which I have wasted.

Sorry for the rant and sorry for talking about myself so much. I just feel so alone and like no one even cares. If you feel the same and want to talk then pm me.