The Term "Mansplaining" is Derogatory and Calling Men Incels or "Misogynists" For Disagreeing with Women is Toxic Feminism

Relic4989 · 2020-12-07T00:42:05+00:00

Precisely. Feminists are all about free speech so long as it’s THEIR** speech.

Royale-Wit-Cheez · 2020-12-07T04:07:37+00:00

Amen to that brother.

I always say mansplaining aint a thing. Its called being CONDESCENDING. Both genders do it and we do not need to genderize being condescending because at the end of the day if youre being condescending youre a dick head.

AngryIPScanner · 2020-12-07T02:03:33+00:00

Ok I was on a date the other night. Just a quick trip to the park here to talk.

I was explaining something to her, and then she asked me if I was "mansplaining" to her. I wanted to know if she was joking, but apparently she was not.

I let her know that it's a sexist word, and that explaining something to someone, even if you think it's condescending, has nothing to do with someone's gender.

She said it does SINCE it was a male (me) doing it to a female (her). I'm like, that doesn't make the ACT of explaining a gender-related action. She didn't get it.

After we argued that, she brought up: "Wait, do you also think that reverse racism is possible?". I'm like, WTF is that? She said it's when a black person can be racist to white people. I told her of course you can be.. racism can happen from any color to another. She said no, that it has to do with "power dynamics" or some bullshit.. but I pulled out my phone and let her know that "power" has nothing to do with it.

At this point she was trying to silence me, and demanded we talk about something else, and then said, with her hand up, "I didn't come here to argue blah blah".. I'm like, so what? You're here now and this is the discussion.

She started to get ready to leave.. I'm like, "listen, you really should look up the definition of racism". She said: "Well, you shouldn't tell me what to do". I responded: "Then don't be ignorant"... at that point she was walking away.

I mean, SERIOUSLY?! She thinks "mansplaining" is a good word to use, and that black people can't be racist? OMFG. Idiot bitch. Yes, she was black.

beatstorelax · 2020-12-07T03:21:02+00:00

every thing feminism say about men is toxic. want equality? deal with your shits first.

timleykis101 · 2020-12-07T04:59:20+00:00

Just say " oh yes Karen!" and watch their heads explode.

auMatech · 2020-12-07T06:55:40+00:00

The term "mansplaining" is pure hypocrisy. It's an accusation of sexism by being sexist.

The implication is that the explainer is being condescending on the grounds of gender/sex, yet in reality it's the accuser.

timleykis101 · 2020-12-07T05:02:45+00:00

First error ...was trying to date her.

daggypeas · 2020-12-07T06:24:05+00:00

i think feminists use it too often, especially in scenarios where there is no mansplaining envolved

this does definitely exist though, ive had it happen to me that a man was clearly explaining something in a demeaning manner and tone that i clearly didnt need explaining - the big man helping the helpless girl out, and making fun of her while doing it

but i agree that women use the term way too often and see how it could be offensive when youre honestly trying to explain something

edit: read a few more comments and i agree that thereis really no need for the word, "condescending" is good enough and genderless

Chowmeen_Boi · 2020-12-07T01:01:38+00:00

Toxic feminism-all feminism is toxic

2020-12-07T02:33:10+00:00

And that is the problem with modern women right there, far too many of them listen to crap from femtards and think it is a reasonable way to have an intelligent discourse.

Mate, you clearly dodged a bullet there. Who seriously wants to be with a woman who regurgitates dogma.

mhandanna · 2020-12-07T12:32:36+00:00

One of the ugliest elements of the social justice left (which has influenced our broader culture, including media norms and even government policies) is a belief in different standards of treatment for different demographic groups. Men, white people, straight people, and other “privileged” groups are seen as acceptable targets for a range of treatment (from insulting jokes to actual discrimination) that would not be considered acceptable for sympathy-worthy groups like women, racial minorities, and LGBT people. Conversely, those sympathy-worthy groups are treated as protected classes, and treatment of them is scrutinized for any small “microaggression”.

Being expected to deal with different standards of treatment is, I believe, a major reason for people in “privileged” groups becoming disillusioned with the social justice left. It also has implications for our perception of the prevalence of bigotry or mistreatment. If the same treatment targeted at women is sexism, targeted at black people is racism, but targeted at men is not sexism, then claims that sexism against men “obviously isn’t common” are (at least partially) artifacts of labeling decisions rather than reality.

KILL ALL MEN etc

4. Problems

Here are a few key points about why this double standard is a problem.

4.1 Skews our perception of bigotry and mistreatment

We have a very low tolerance for hostility, negativity, and bigotry against women, while these things targeted at men generally fly under the radar. In light of that, it doesn’t matter how much hostility, negativity, and bigotry men experience—less than women, the same, or more—because in all of those cases it will seem like women experience those things more often because that’s what catches our attention and strikes us as bad.

4.2 No bad tactics, only bad targets?

The idea that the morality of an action depends less on the action itself and more on who it’s done to is really scary. It’s necessary in some cases—people convicted of crimes are subject to different treatment (e.g., incarceration) than the rest of us. But punishment for an individual’s own actions is still different from collective punishment.

4.3 Simplistic understanding of power dynamics

Let’s assume that punching up is acceptable and punching down is unacceptable. The idea that men are necessarily up and women down is extraordinarily simplistic. First, gender is not the only factor in power dynamics. A mother trying to encourage “boys are stupid” thinking and put her 9-year-old son “in his place” is not punching up. She’s at a very real chance of giving him self-esteem problems and a negative view of his gender.

Second, maleness itself is linked to powerlessness in many situations. Men are a lot more likely to be murdered, and so victim-blaming murdered men is an attack on an especially vulnerable group. And employment discrimination against men is scarier in light of the bleak future for many male-dominated industries (due to trade and automation).

4.4 Less impact doesn’t mean no impact (or no moral qualms)

Maleness is linked to powerlessness in many situations, but there are few (if any) areas where white people are doing worse than black people. Still, “punching up” for race can do real damage, like when anti-cop, anti-white rhetoric contributed to the killing of five police officers in Dallas, Texas. And while employment discrimination against blacks is more impactful than against whites (it’s more common, and black unemployment is much higher), a less impactful injustice is still an injustice, and having your race override your qualifications can reasonably be called an injustice.

4.5 “When women hate men, we hurt their feelings. When men hate women, they kill us.”

As long as a man doesn’t engage in violence, he should feel free to hate women? Maybe not, because he can contribute to negative attitudes towards women in the broader culture, which can negatively affect women. But the same point would apply to hating men (whether done by women or men). Negative attitudes towards men in broader culture can negatively affect men: how we react to the abuse of men, how we react when they’re down and out (e.g., homeless or in prison), etc.

4.6 Is identity or ideology more relevant for power dynamics?

It’s easy to dismiss the mental impact on men of being targeted (by insulting jokes, generalizations, or even hatred) by pointing out that most people in power are men, and so even regular men feel some level of invulnerability knowing society is on their side. But we need to look not just at the identity of people in power but also their ideology. Do men really have society on their side when society accepts things like hatred against them much more readily? If a young boy hears Michelle Obama joke that women are better than men, with no backlash, while Barack Obama making the opposite joke would be a major controversy, will he really feel like he has society on his side?

And discrimination against men isn’t backed by institutional power because most people in power are men? With a certain ideology, men in power can harness institutions to discriminate against men. The preferential hiring for women by the Canadian government is institutional discrimination, despite the government being mostly men.

4.7 Up for interpretation!

The “punching down vs. punching up” logic could lead to various conclusions that the social justice movement wouldn’t like. As this post explains, it’s easy to convince yourself you’re punching up—Swedish racists see immigrants as a privileged group protected and coddled by a powerful “PC establishment”, so in their mind they’re punching up.

Also, one of the favourite points raised by anti-Semitic white nationalists is that Jews are “over-represented” in various areas of power and influence like the media, politics, and banking. Does this excuse anti-Semitism? Are they just “punching up”?

Feminists have much more power (in academia, the media, and government) than men’s rights activists. Should mistreatment of feminists be excused as punching up, as long as it comes from a less powerful ideological group?

We could also judge people’s level based on their actual power as an individual, rather than the power one might assume from a quick look at their demographics. If attacks on male politicians and business executives is punching up, should attacks on female politicians and business executives also be, as long as it comes from regular men?

5. Reaction & backlash

Even if you aren’t convinced that treating certain demographic groups as punching bags is wrong on its own merits, consider that this double standard has contributed to the rise of the Alt-Right and TheRedPill, which are (particularly from the feminist or social justice perspective) two of the most repugnant groups on the internet. This is not to say that these are justified reactions, but they are (in part) reactions.

5.2 Gender: TheRedPill

On /r/TheRedPill you can see all sorts of extremely negative things said about women like “women are shit”, “women are children”, etc. I’ve questioned and pushed RedPillers on the actual truth of such statements and many—not all, but many—say that they see them as not strictly speaking true, but useful to “shock” men and knock them out of the practice of putting women on a pedestal, which happens after hearing feminist messages about how bad men are and how great women are. (They’re also a reaction against what they see as bad feminist-inspired dating advice for men being mainstream.)

Full article: https://becauseits2015.wordpress.com/2016/09/17/social-justices-punching-bags-men-white-people-straight-people/

Auntie_Hero · 2020-12-07T07:36:52+00:00

"So I paid Judy last week and that bitch had the nerve to come back and tell me that my check was no good and the bank said I was overdrawn. How can I be overdrawn when I have all these checks left? HELLO! THIS IS WHY YOU'RE ONLY A NANNY, JUDY!!"

"Well, see that's not how a checking account works. See, when the bank-"

"OH MY GOD STOP MANSPLAINING! I JUST WANT TO BE HEARD! THANK YOOOOOOOU!!!"

Hands up if you've ever had this conversation only every fucking day of your entire every single relationship.

MBV-09-C · 2020-12-07T08:12:49+00:00

Yeah. Funny how there's no derogatory name for women who are undatable. Maybe we need one, in the interests of equality.

2020-12-07T08:14:09+00:00

your post got more updoots than mine! thanks for reraising awareness of this issue as it is very important!

matrixislife · 2020-12-07T08:22:09+00:00

Sure it is, but the only way it's going to change is to start a labelling campaign that turns these words into recognised hate speech. Turn them into "N" words and they'll disappear, otherwise there's no point worrying about them.

DryLeaf500 · 2020-12-07T12:26:00+00:00

I know a feminist who went on Twitter and retweeted a message (not gonna share it here, for obvious reasons) which ran to the effect of: "My bf couldn't even l**** my p****. I'm glad we broke up!" I'm sure she found it a laugh. Just reverse the scenario and we'll have people like that jumping down mens' throats.

BurningOrangeHeaven · 2020-12-07T15:51:11+00:00

Its not just women, lots of weak men on reddit will call you an incel too.

stunspot · 2020-12-07T16:07:05+00:00

"Mansplaining" is a word that definitely triggers me. The last time I heard it in person I called the lady out on it. Asked her not to use such gross sexist terminology. Shhe pushed back in righteous indignation so I said, "Fine if we're allowed to use sexist portmanteus, then I really don't want to be talking to a cuntdescending sarcastabitch." and walked away. She was truly flabbergasted. Neever heard her use that word around me again, though.

Dwellicon · 2020-12-07T17:58:22+00:00

why post this here, where everyone will agree with you? Post this on r/unpopularopinion so you can reach more kinds of people. Not trying to be offensive here

thingpaint · 2020-12-08T03:34:09+00:00

I've been accused of mansplaining in a meeting, that I was invited too as the subject matter expert.

I'm literally the person in the company who knows the most about this, and you invited me to explain it...

SultanSaatana · 2020-12-08T19:12:27+00:00

"Incel" seems to be the new to-go insult buzzword to call a man who says something a feminist doesn't like or agree with.

It's no secret The Simpsons cartoon has rapidly deteriorated over the past 2 decades, but there's actually a recent feminist episode where Lisa tells Homer off for "manspreading" and tells Bart off for "mansplaining", then at the end Bart becomes a feminist. ugh. It's cringe from start to finish, even 70 year old Julie Kavener's (Marge) voice is painful to listen to now.

playingpoodles · 2020-12-08T23:48:50+00:00

The term "incel" as an insult has become popular, it's the equivalent of "slut" or "whore" I suppose, but because it's lobbed at men that's okay.

Glittering-Dig9368 · 2020-12-08T06:20:26+00:00

Toxic feminism isn't a thing. Toxic feminity is what I think you meant to be the counterpoint of TM, but you've got that wrong too. That is when a woman believes her only reasons for being alive is to be pretty to look at, clean up after their husbands and have sex and babies when he wants. TM does not mean masculinity is toxic.

Mansplaining isn't when men give opinions, it's when men think the woman can't understand the subject and explains what she already knows. Like if he tells her what it's like to have a period.

And misogyny isn't when she disagrees, it's when the man says something that shows he hates women.

Greg_W_Allan · 2020-12-07T06:43:15+00:00

I can charge fees of up to $500/hour for mansplaining to others. I'm not about to give it up any time soon.

VanWarhol · 2020-12-07T21:29:42+00:00

Go cry about it lol

accidental_me · 2020-12-07T08:56:56+00:00

I think it's feminists and not women who do it. Most women probably don't even know what mansplaining is - or don't use it if they do.

NardiK · 2020-12-07T09:44:23+00:00

Shouldn't it be called toxic femininity.

benderXX · 2020-12-07T12:26:10+00:00

All fascists know that controlling the language is the first step to power.

Darth_Horseman · 2020-12-07T12:29:21+00:00

"Mansplaining? But i identify myself as a woman, did you just assume my gender?" - Me everytime they come with this bullshit

mrm_s_pp_rt · 2020-12-07T13:22:35+00:00

You can't expect feminists to be logical that's opression for them

lmbadatthis · 2020-12-07T13:26:57+00:00

I think the word is just misused so often by people that don’t understand so it muddys the water...

I have a friend that is an engineer, super intelligent and highly educated. Her and I were chilling at my house once watching YouTube videos and one was a car crash video. The car went up in flames and the way it did was kinda unique. I thought it was interesting and started explaining why the flames went up the way they did and she is giving me this weird look.

“Why you looking at me like that.”

“You’re mansplaining to me, what makes you think I don’t know this. I’ve worked as an engineer at multiple car manufacturers.”

This happens all the time I’m her field apparently. Where men just assume she, and other women, don’t understand a topic so they explain it to them, without even asking. Or we’ll ask “do you even know what that is?” In a way that makes it obvious we think they don’t.

That’s what mansplaining is.

NikolofVenus · 2020-12-14T04:34:16+00:00

1) I only really hear mansplaining used when a man is trying to "explain" women's issues to a women and gets all the information, statistics and nuance, wrong. But even then, I can count on one hand how many times I've heard it used. It's more pronounced on the interwebz as a thing but not really much in real world discussions of issues.

2) Incel/Misogynist - If by disagreeing you mean actually believing in Incel Ideology, then yes. You would be a Misogynist and an Incel. Pretty Simple. If you are repeating the rhetoric from that community, you are gonna come across as an asshole. Don't be an Incel or you will be called one.

3) Toxic Masculinity related to men's issues is actually big deal. Look at all the Testosterone supplements marketed towards men. Look how many straight guys are terrified to be gay or seen as such. Look at how many men think they are inferior "beta" because they haven't gotten laid yet or don't have an awesome physique or job. That skewed perception of oneself and others is Toxic Masculinity, not masculinity or manhood itself. That shits exhausting. Maybe think of it as "Toxic Gender Roles and Expectations" instead of the charged original term. The roles of feminity is often challenged by the same people who challenge Toxic Masculinity, however they are expressed as separate issues with their own nuance and problems. Apples and Oranges.

Also, it seems like the "Stereotypical" Feminist is the only example I see of those critical of Feminism referring to, which is always the cherry picked cringe comp feminist that doesn't seem to exist in the wild. Every real world Feminist I know don't act like those guys at all, which each feminist I have met was different than the last. I mean it's an umbrella term for a myriad of positions, not just the stereotypical misandrist, cringy screechy types. Hell, some Feminist camps are Conservative, like those who hate gays and trans folks. It's just not an accurate depiction whatsoever.

(Contributions by a random Trans Redditor).

Comments

4. Problems

5. Reaction & backlash