What precautions can a man take to avoid losing everything in a divorce?

not_the_troll · 2025-05-29T20:21:54+00:00

Depends on the country but atleast in US, UK, and Canada, there isn't much you can do really. Judges can throw a prenup and a postnup out the window if they feel like. They are the most educated on the law, have superior logic and reasoning skills and are excellent with words. If they don't like you, the slightest leverage they can get over you, they will use that to invalidate your marriage contract that you may have used to protect yourself in case of a divorce. The woman can also make all sorts of claims and it's on you to prove they are false.

In Canada, it turns out that even a long term monogamous non-cohabitating girlfriend that you don't have any kids with can claim spousal support for life if the two of you spent significant time together through the years and had your lives intertwined. Family court judges make some pretty far fetched interpretations of the law all in the name of protecting the "vulnerable" woman. And you wonder why the birthrate here is declining.

AgentCarbine · 2025-05-29T20:11:27+00:00

If you’re going to marry, treat it like entering a combat zone and prep your perimeter. Get a prenuptial agreement with both sides having independent legal counsel or it won’t hold up. Keep major assets like your house, business, and retirement accounts separate before the marriage. Don’t take on joint debt.

Document everything, income, property, and expectations, before saying your vows. Marriage is a risk. That doesn’t mean go in blind. It means go in armored.

axmaxwell · 2025-05-29T20:48:46+00:00

Make sure that if you have property or major investments that they are premarital. If you have to do something to maintain your properties use funds from premarital accounts.

My ex-wife tried to go after a mutual fund that my grandparents established for me when I was a baby I was only able to keep it out of her hands because I hadn't contributed to it since high school. She's trying to make an argument that she deserves half of my total 401k but my lawyer and I are firing back that since we were only married for 6 years she is only entitled to half of what I put into it and earned in that six year window and I have that documentation from the retirement fund.

Nathaniel66 · 2025-05-29T20:14:32+00:00

Depends on specific country's law. In my country 2 things: assets separation and prenup.

NCC-1701-1 · 2025-05-29T20:19:07+00:00

Pre nup of course, but the judge can do whatever they want.

legal: make sure you segregate all your money pre marriage and make it clear in the pre-nup that such accounts are not marital property. You cannot prenup child support but you can prenup alimony and property division.

legal but dishonest: 1) take out a lot of loans before marriage, put the money into your pre-marital assets accounts that are separated, but carry the debt into marriage. 2) Have a cash storage locker, dump cash in there each month but not so much it draws too much attention. Don't declare it in divorce.

illegal: try and create hidden assets. I think bitcoin used to be untraceable for instance. Offshore bank accounts, maybe gold. Ask a very trusted relative to have assets in their name.

easier yet- don't get married.

MasonBlake_ · 2025-05-29T22:12:20+00:00

You're not wrong to ask this...most men walk in blind thinking prenups and "good women" are enough. They're not.

A prenup is toilet paper if the judge decides it "isn't fair." Family court isn't about facts...it's about feelings + framing. She just has to cry...you just have to be male...

The real precaution is owning your frame before it starts. Don't co-mingle finances. Don’t put her name on assets. Don’t move in without knowing your local laws on common law...keep written records like you're preparing for war, because you are...

Once the state has authority over your relationship, you're not in a partnership...you’re in a legal structure where one party can destroy the other at will, and be rewarded for it...

Marriage isn't about love...it’s about control. Operate accordingly...

Redsands · 2025-05-30T00:14:58+00:00

Pre-nups get thrown out as soon as she makes a false accusation.

Set up an offshore trust that runs an LLC. See a financial planner and accountant to set up a structure to nake sure you don't own anything.

Make sure you ALWAYS keep your finances separate and if she stays hone for any period of time for whatever, make sure you put in place an employment agreement and any money that passes from you to her is through wages.

Put up cameras absolutely eveywhere, wear a body worn camera at all times.

Make sure you journal your entire life, just the events, what you did, what she did, not your thoughts and feelings.

ImaginaryComb821 · 2025-05-29T20:47:38+00:00

Budget Household spending. Avoid consumer debt. It's easier and less painful to divide cash and liquid investments. Always stay liquid and solvent. Don't overbuy on your home. The mortgage should be the only debt of the marriage and should be manageable on one income if there are sufficient investments likes cash, stocks etc. Buy used cars for cash; no car notes. Prenup to exclude any debts like student loans your partner may have. In fact don't marry them if they have large debts. Ignore the Joneses. In fact stay away from the entirely.

tomsnrg · 2025-05-30T03:44:47+00:00

She needs to be richer than you, and earn more. This flips the table at least partiallly.

Rhbgrb · 2025-05-29T23:29:00+00:00

This is going to sound harsh, but if you get married knowing how the courts treat husbands/fathers then You get what you deserve.

SquaredAndRooted · 2025-05-29T20:40:47+00:00

Keep this checklist handy whether you are marrying within your own country or abroad.

Precautions to Take Before Marriage (General + International)

Get a prenup/postnup - Fair, transparent, and legally enforceable in both countries.
Keep premarital assets separate - Use trusts, LLCs, or separate accounts.
Avoid joint ownership early on - Especially for inherited or family property.
Consult legal counsel in both countries - Laws vary; dual advice prevents surprises.
Document financial transparency - Asset disclosures help enforce prenups later.
Understand local divorce laws - Especially if moving or marrying internationally.
Plan for children and custody - Especially with different national legal systems.
Secure income protection or liability insurance - Protect against alimony or claims.
Use estate and tax planning tools - Wills, nominee holdings, offshore options.
Vet immigration intent (if cross border) - Protect against misuse of marriage for residency.

Note - International marriage is a legal & financial treaty between people from different legal systems. Protect yourself the same way you would when doing business abroad - with research, contracts & professional advice.
Standard divorce insurance doesn’t really exist globally because risk modeling is too unpredictable but workarounds through legal, financial & custom insurance solutions can offer similar protection - especially if you’re HNI, proactive & financially savvy.

aerial_coitus · 2025-05-29T20:31:13+00:00

don’t get married. problem solved.

ZaphodBeetly · 2025-05-29T20:25:55+00:00

Well honestly short of totally not getting married at all everything else is just risk mitigation with paper thin protection.

You should own everything before you met or married her. Then enter into a mutually agreed upon prenup that she has to have her independent legal consent to. Then you have review the prenup every few years to update or reverify it.

Also you need be talking about prenup and have signed document a year or two before marriage or something legally noting its presence. This avoids her saying you made her sign it under pressure 6 months before marriage and she didn't know what she was signing and you were pressuring by threatening not to marry her if she didn't.

Prenups are the best bet but they can be broken though they tend to largely be honored but again they can be broken.

Before meeting a woman and marriage you could distant yourself from your money via trust and business entities or financial services that pay you but again they can go after the payments from those entities.

The answer is always how much money and assets do you have and how much money and anger does she have to pursue your assets.

This a USA perspective. Also the particular state you live in and your marriage license is also highly plays a significant role due their specific laws. It also can come down to the specific jurisdiction the divorce is filed. Same goes with custody for kids.

I suggest talking to a good divorce lawyer in the area you are to determine options. Also discuss with estate planner after. Worth 500-1k between the two for that advice to follow.

That being said what woman is going to agree to marry knowing you prepared this well?

Most will see this as a threat to them. Best of luck.

Lost_Charmander · 2025-05-29T21:54:06+00:00

Don't get married. Safest.
Marry someone who loves and respects you a lot, and try to be a good husband. Might work out might not.
Marry someone who's kind. Who doesn't have it them to take revenge on someone it's not their nature.
Marry someone well off Or similar financial footing.

BigGaggy222 · 2025-05-29T23:51:20+00:00

Most western countries have huge, corrupt, and inescapable industries set up to fleece men of their resources in the event of a relationship ending, you don't even have to be married under defacto laws. Prenups get overturned so they can have access to your cash.

I think the best option, if you don't want to live a lonely life, is to make sure you only make enough to get by, make sure she earns and contributes as much if not more than you. That way it won't hurt as much when she gets the majority of it in divorce.

Don't be that guy that sacrifices decades of his life, health and happiness to build something while she stays at home, only for it to be given to her and you kicked out and start again at 50 years old....

OnlyCommentWhenTipsy · 2025-05-29T20:33:22+00:00

Depends where you live. Some places let you keep assets accrued from before the marriage. Some places honor pre-nups. But even those aren't safe if alimony is involved, where you can end up losing half then paying the other half and more through alimony.

But seriously, if you're worried losing money, marriage is not for you.

PerennialPsycho · 2025-05-29T21:55:58+00:00

Don't marry

Dismal-Diet9958 · 2025-05-29T23:48:29+00:00

Don't marry

michaelpaoli · 2025-05-30T00:10:45+00:00

Don't marry (or even get in a relationship) with a bad, crud, or quite seriously flawed (at least in ways that materially matter) person - make sure you damn well know them and for quite a while first (at least a year, generally/preferably fair bit longer than that), also pay attention to what your family, friends, acquaintances pick up from then and say or otherwise hint/indicate to you about them - they may well pick up on stuff you miss. Likewise well and highly pay attention to what her family, friends, and acquaintances tell you about her, how they react, what they may hint at, etc. - oh, and if they tell you she's bad news, yeah, she probably is - they've generally known her better and longer than your family/friends/acquaintances. So, that's the first major prevention step. Get that part right and generally you won't get screwed over ... may not be paradise, but typically won't turn into some nightmare.

Prenup. Do it right, proper, legal, lawyer(s)/attorney(s) and all that. Be sure you well discuss it with her first, and you both quite agree - no reason for to sign prenup if it's not (mutually) beneficial - so if it's not, why would she even sign it? So, yeah, do that, be sure she has ample opportunity to also review it with her legal counsel, etc., and be sure to it's also done in accordance with all relevant jurisdictional laws/regulations - so yeah, if you blow that you may have a worthless piece of paper, rather than a good binding prenup. And yes, do it properly with lawyer(s)/attorney(s) that are competent and such, and you'll get that. Try to do it yourself based off of some form you copied from online or out of some book, you may well end up with a useless sheet of paper and a lot of regrets.

That's mostly it. One can optionally have some additional protections, but may not be worth it. E.g. various assets not owned by you, but owned by trust, and you can even be trustee and beneficiary of the trust ... but don't rely upon that without well going over it with relevant competent lawyers/attorneys first. E.g. if it's a revocable trust, that may not (sufficiently) protect it/you, and there are also consequences/limitations - including for you, if it's irrevocable trust.

That's at least mostly what jumps to mind, notably don't marry bad person, prenup, possibly some additional asset protection(s) ... lots of other stuff relevant to good marriage, but most of that probably isn't all that applicable otherwise as to whether or not you'd likely lose it in a divorce or that it would be at risk of being lost (or divided or whatever).

Also, can't sign away rights of children (or potential children), so, no guarantees she doesn't get / keep / take away the kids, and no guarantees you don't get stuck paying child support - you can't negotiate that stuff away in a prenup ... though you might be able to negotiate / have some stuff in a prenup that might offset or partially offset stuff like that.

HuumanDriftWood · 2025-05-30T01:28:09+00:00

I know a few guys who are repeatedly divorced - j keep saying it's cheaper to buy a wedding cake if they like it so much.

But having a good outlook on life and a bed buddy is a good start.

There's nothing to save you in this life against a woman and a hungry lawyer and a system geared towards feeding every level on your way out and down.

Vegetable_Ad1732 · 2025-05-30T02:34:25+00:00

Trusts are often better than pre-nups. Here's an OP I did on trusts. But read the comments underneath it, some of them were by lawyers.

https://www.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/13e79oy/money_safe_from_divorce/

pepsi_com_pipoca · 2025-05-30T02:40:00+00:00

I don't have knowledge to contribute to this topic.

But not getting married is probably the safest option

Glum_Teacher_6774 · 2025-05-30T05:13:58+00:00

Marry for the church/mosque/budha/....

But not for the gouvernement. Dont involve the gov.

This being said...living together for a longer time will already fuck you up if shit goes down

Lilly_Rose_Kay · 2025-05-31T08:14:25+00:00

From reading a lot of Reddit, I've noticed a trend. When a couple fall out of love with each other and split on friendly terms, assets are usually divided evenly.

However, when the husband or wife cheats, have an emotional or physical affair, treat one another not as equals, then divorce turns into a game of revenge.

So, if you do get married, or enter into a common law marriage, it is best to stay faithful, loving, helpful to each other, and together. Work out problems with therapy.

sgtm7 · 2025-05-31T12:44:12+00:00

Don't get married in a man hating state that would award a woman everything in a divorce. Get married in a state, that is a community property state. So the most she will get is half. If you can, have all your stuff paid for, BEFORE you get married, so that your stuff is considered separate property, rather than marital property. That way, it won't be considered for division during a divorce.

RandomYT05 · 2025-05-31T13:08:03+00:00

If I'm ever in the case of divorce, all my stuff is going in a storage unit owned by my half brother with a different last name, the car is going over the cliff, the house is getting burnt down, and I'm gonna be sitting pretty in an unregistered cabin in the woods.

hendrixski · 2025-05-31T22:52:13+00:00

Be a stay at home husband. Don't have anything that can be taken.

ThePiachu · 2025-06-01T00:43:00+00:00

Ask a lawyer and not Reddit, they'll give you a more realistic answer based on your jurisdiction.

MassiveMike82 · 2025-06-01T00:55:44+00:00

Keep a pile of cash

Snoo71180 · 2025-06-01T13:24:20+00:00

In the US you want a rock solid prenup (which they never are but you can try) but more importantly any assets you have, or family inheritance you may receive, or net worth you have before the marriage should be in the prenup as those aren't marital assets. The courts almost always can't touch money / assets / inheritance that had nothing to do with her before you got married if you have a good prenup. Once you're married though, and I'm speaking from experience, don't expect the prenup to be rock solid for anything acquired or earned after you're married. This is a US comment

antixwick999 · 2025-06-01T21:01:57+00:00

Not get married

Tumor_with_eyes · 2025-05-29T23:13:52+00:00

Get married in Texas.

There is a built-in state prenup, where if you are married for less than 10yrs you don’t pay alimony.

Don’t get married at all.

Get a solid prenup that is enforceable.

addings0 · 2025-05-29T23:14:15+00:00

Secret separate bank account ( or a bag of cash ) .

imextremelymoderate · 2025-05-29T23:26:08+00:00

Put your assets in your parents' or siblings' name

Title	What precautions can a man take to avoid losing everything in a divorce?
Author	PeachBling
Upvotes	63
Comments	80
Date	May 29, 2025 8:06 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1kykqnp/what_precautions_can_a_man_take_to_avoid_losing/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/what-precautions-can-a-man-take-to-avoid-losing.1553446 https://theredarchive.com/post/1553446

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