Why does it seem only men are encouraged to improve themselves and take responsibility?

Njaulv · 2025-11-03T15:45:03+00:00

Simple answer, gynocentrism. It is a huge part of our society.

Y0uHad0n3J0b · 2025-11-03T15:51:40+00:00

Silly man. Women are wonderful. They don’t need to be told such things. Their vaginas imbue them with the wholesome light of a thousand stars. They bathe in righteousness and drink from the golden chalice.

dougpschyte · 2025-11-03T15:52:33+00:00

Men have to be creative, innovative and high earners, in order to stand an iota of a chance with women.

Women know that the boys will come calling anyway.

Kathhound3 · 2025-11-03T16:05:19+00:00

Because we live in a world where everything a man is, is a horrible thing, and everything a woman is, no matter what it is, is a beautiful thing. Misandry is rampant.

savro · 2025-11-03T16:22:28+00:00

It's another manifestation of the Women-are-wonderful Effect.

Local-Willingness784 · 2025-11-03T16:27:44+00:00

part of it is because mens standards for women are on the floor or lower, but also because society expects and demands more from men, from our lives when there is danger to our services when its convinient. which is weird seeing how some women have so much hatred and dislike or fear for men in general but kind of do nothing about beyond bitching or getting some sucker to be their toy and pretend he is "one of the good ones":

AbysmalDescent · 2025-11-03T17:16:02+00:00

Because there's so many inherent biases and inequalities that comes with the subject of dating, most of which are still very much prevalent today. From this idea that it's a man's job to pursue, to this idea that it's always a man's failure when things don't happen, the idea that men must come ready to perform and perform well, or this idea that men have to navigate every single possible social or emotional test, or lack of social/emotional skill, in women in order to make things happen.

All of the discussion is centered around this idea that it's men's sole responsibility to please women and adapt to their every whims, and that a woman's approval/affection must be won over. If a man is kind and good hearted, immediately the response is "he's too nice" or "he must be a push-over", instead of "why don't women value good-heartedness?" or "why do women take advantage of good-hearted men and aren't being held accountable for it?". If a man answers too fast, the take away is always "men shouldn't seem so eager or desperate" and never "why do women punish effort and investment?". If a man gives too much space or isn't assertive/aggressive enough, the reaction is always "well, it's his fault, he should have made a move sooner" or "if he wanted to, he would", and never "she could have initiated something, and still chose not to" or "if she wanted to, she would have made it easy".

husbandwife_TA · 2025-11-03T18:35:24+00:00

Agree with you you said. Someone told me men are taught how to treat women, not what to expect of women, while women are taught what to expect from men, not how to treat men. First and foremost I believe in gender equality and we should be learning how to treat and what to expect from one another. However, while gender equality has made strides in the last century, a lot of the friction comes from private person to person relationships, where in public we are legally equal and should have no gender roles, but when in a relationship and behind closed doors our gender roles come out based on our talents. This is where a lot of people get confused. No teammates are equal, but we are equally important. This is where the ideology falls apart in relationships and now people are avoiding relationships all together because the ideology that holds it's weight in public does not hold up in private. For example I am not great at doing laundry or cleaning, so I have to learn. She is not great at plumbing, lawn care, roof and gutter cleaning, insulation, car maintenance, electrical work, but she doesn't have to learn because it can be dangerous. We are equals, but bring different talents to the team and that should totally be fine, but when men can't do something, we are blamed and when women can't do something, they are given sympathy.

The consequences are what's happening right now. Women mocking men openly on social media (all of a sudden it's embarrassing to have a boyfriend per a recent article) and men not being able to defend themselves online or in society, because social norms have placed mens feelings secondary to that of women. When women speak up, it's liberation. When men speak up, it's misogyny. Then everyone blames men for not being able to talk about feelings, when it's because no one cared anyways. When women are traumatized social conditioning, we blame men. When men are traumatized by social condition, we blame men. It seems our only use is to go to war or lower the life rafts for the women and children to get on. We see that double standard all around. Also, women who are married, give the worst dating advice to women who are single. Social media has become a doom loop of what men are/aren't doing or what men can do better for the comfort and choice of women.

There are both good men and women out there who do self improvement and take responsibility for their actions. They are just hidden by the men and women who don't.

hottake_toothache · 2025-11-03T16:21:53+00:00

I challenge you to try to finish this sentence without getting in trouble: "Women need to ...." It can't be done. (Not mine, this observation is from Alison Tieman)

DrewYetti · 2025-11-03T19:34:18+00:00

One word: Gynocentrism. It also reveals an accountability gap where men are expected to take responsibility for not only their own actions but to shoulder the blame for women’s actions as well as society.

SidewaysGiraffe · 2025-11-03T18:00:45+00:00

Not quite- it's because women are assumed to lack the moral agency necessary for self-improvement. It's why they feel less able to make positive changes in their own lives, which in turn drives them to feel more like oppressed victims, which in turn pushes them toward things like Feminism, which serve to fight the battles FOR them, making them both less able (through losing out on the personal strength they'd gain) to improve things AND more reliant on what they naturally come to see as their "saviors".

This, in turn, makes it far easier to manipulate them into buying the idea of men as their competitors, or even enemies, and fuels much of the current gender war bullshit. Consequently, we're more divided, and the real bad actors of the world can move more openly, because the hoi polloi are all staring at each other menacingly instead of at the powers responsible for ACTUALLY making things worse. This is a big part of why so many guys here are so resentful, why I always call that out when I see it, and why every time I do so, I get downvoted into oblivion.

There are economic, cultural, and religious versions of this, too, and probably more I don't know about. This modern addition is obviously just strapped on to naturally existing tensions, but media (consumer and social) consolidation has allowed for the manipulation of it on an unprecedented scale; the men's movement scene in the Usenet days was very different, and I'm told the 70's equivalent still more so.

On a more personal level, it contributes (greatly, I suspect) to the senses of misery and helplessness many women feel; when you see yourself as incapable, you're much less likely to prove otherwise.

Sick-of-you-tbh · 2025-11-03T16:30:03+00:00

Because encouraging those things for men benefits women, encouraging them for women doesn’t.

WhyDidntITextBack · 2025-11-03T16:45:15+00:00

Because men (more like males, given that this is pretty consistent across mammals) want sex and to have relationships with women.

That’s it.

Women are pickier than men in terms of mate selection and since the average woman gets attention much more easily than the average man, a viable strategy for women is simply to wait for the best available partner to approach.

Men on the other hand. Well how many women are approaching the average guy???? Not many. Not enough to be able to wait and pick the best one, she may never show up. So what do you have to do?

Make yourself attractive to women, be the kind of man that women want to date and be around. Then you must pursue them. Men in particular must be compatible with relationship. If you’re not, you simply won’t have a good chance of being picked. The men who conform to women’s standards will have a better chance with them than the ones that don’t

That’s really it. Men seek, women are sought. Becuase of this men have to be the ones to make themselves attractive and compatible with relationships with women in order to have the best chance of success.

Not blue, not red, not purple, not black, no. THIS! Is the hardest pill to swallow, because it’s simply our nature.

StandardHelp9493 · 2025-11-03T22:20:35+00:00

Because women are perfect just the way they are and men need to do what they are told.

Because "Equality." Or something.

MeasurementNice295 · 2025-11-03T17:01:59+00:00

In the eyes of society women are born with value and men have to earn it.

Men who give advice on improving themselves to other men are making them a favor, and women who "advice" other women to waste their worth are sabotaging them, either knowingly or not.

Vast_Revenue5545 · 2025-11-03T17:16:02+00:00

"No man should trust the words of a girl, nor anything a woman says. Women’s hearts are molded on a wobbly wheel. Faithlessness is planted at their core."

Ericridge · 2025-11-04T02:36:33+00:00

Stay home and play vidyagaem all day long is an option but not everyone can do that.

Evening-Scarcity7081 · 2025-11-05T01:35:34+00:00

No wonder such women are entitled throughout their lives. The sad part is that they don't behave and gaslight men, but some societies, especially those that derive their values from cheesy TV series will still support women because they are apparently infallible with their victimisation abilities. Things are changing slowly, and more and more men are realising it.

LoquatBear · 2025-11-05T09:12:56+00:00

Also "better" usually means emasculated.

I remember my younger sister bit me and to the point of making me bleed when she was like 11 , why, because her friends asked me to change the radio station. I hit her back. Why was I the one given a squeeze toy to "control my anger"?

I remember wanting to get into kickboxing and was told it was violent(mom's response) and girly (dad's response)?

The only time I was "respected" is if I just did "nice" quiet things, chess, reading , music (with headphones)

DBIIJ0U · 2025-11-03T15:53:17+00:00

It's a huge problem, society's expectations for men are one of the bigger factors causing a large percentage of suicides to be young males. It's harder to provide, and harder to find a good woman and meet their expectations due to things like social media and onlyfans.

It seems women are encouraged that way because of the past inequality and being abused by men as they are the more vulnerable/emotional gender by nature (not always).

If a woman dresses explicitly she's reclaiming her sexuality, if a man does something similar he has no class and is a "douche"🤣

I have a feeling this is all part of a bigger agenda, as I can't understand why these behaviours are pushed if not to increase divorce rates, keep men who are more durable working longer, and to reduce population.

On the other side, even though there are alot more immature adults these days imo, I was blessed to be with some girls that were definetly more mature than me, even though I didn't think so at the time. My take on that is because they have more emotional intelligence on average, having to deal with emotional fluctuations and change in hormones and way less ego. Society encourages men to be strong and lead and alot of men go about that in a toxic fashion, controlling rather than guiding and supporting.

Mammoth-Ebb-5670 · 2025-11-04T16:38:55+00:00

I think it’s because the primary consumers of self help books are those who initiate going to therapy are women. So it’s a “hey this helped me, it will also help you” mentality. Kind of related: What’s interesting is I’m currently doing a research paper on emotional intelligence in relation to critical thinking. The people in the study who had the highest emotional intelligence had a higher sense of self perception and what they thought/felt in the moment. Those same people reported living in higher stress environments and scores the highest on critical thinking. Second place (close 2nd) for overall emotional intelligence were those who had a higher sense of others needs, non verbal communications, and responding empathetically to others. The key difference was being able to self soothe and ground oneself first before making decisions always directly impacted quality of cognition and critics thinking skills.

jcpoling · 2025-11-09T01:48:40+00:00

Men are far more dangerous to society physically so we've been told to be better people because we have the most power to hurt society.

Aromatic-Tennis-4213 · 2025-11-10T23:19:33+00:00

it’s such an easy answer. have you been living under a rock? it takes 2 seconds to search up statistics on male - female violence. such a huge percentage of men grow up to be violent, rapists, pedophiles, criminals etc etc. incredibly larger than women. now imagine how much worse that would be if nobody tried to teach them not to be bad. women are typically the victims of the crimes, therefore we are taught to put ourselves first and look out for our safety. men don’t need that. but in the current situation of the world it seems that men need to be taught these things, instead of it coming naturally. i mean just look at how many rapists there are.

ElSoniador42399 · 2025-11-18T05:41:03+00:00

Men and women are not psychologically the same, that's the reason

L0nleylife112 · 2025-11-06T08:59:59+00:00

Cause women are children in adult bodysuits. Simple as that.

bmrheijligers · 2025-11-03T18:21:29+00:00

It's how evolution created the human species. We might as well accept the role mother nature laid out for us. The pressure to evolve consciousness and to use our bodies as human cannon fodder has always been on the male gender.

Sure we can have a temper tantrum about it.

Or we embrace it and do what men have already done. Group together and get shit done....

Somebody has to do it. Might as well be us.

Who is with me?

#ConsciousnessAttracts

mrkanu · 2025-11-05T11:48:08+00:00

Civilizations and societies have always depended on men doing more and producing more than what they require. It has always been male labour that has propelled economies without exceptions. Women are net consumers and are not capable of supporting leave alone bolstering an economy on their own. So there always will be social pressure on men to "do more" or " become more capable" etc.

Outrageous-Team3363 · 2025-11-03T19:28:41+00:00

Disagree women are constantly encouraged to improve themselves, they are never enough. There are higher societal pressure on women to physically fit a standard. The reason more women are telling other women to be selfish is because historically they have been responsible for other ppls feelings and to make themselves smaller. Women were not allowed to have opinions.

Women are encouraged to always look perfect and to take care of others. They can always be smarter but never as smart as a man. They can be successful but never as successful as the man. We can never age bc thats something bad for women in society or get fat even though women carry the baby.

Title	Why does it seem only men are encouraged to improve themselves and take responsibility?
Author	TheNamelessComposer
Upvotes	510
Comments	72
Date	November 3, 2025 3:36 PM UTC (9 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1oneyb8/why_does_it_seem_only_men_are_encouraged_to/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/why-does-it-seem-only-men-are-encouraged-to.1565706 https://theredarchive.com/post/1565706

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