Thoughts on this article? Most man not worth the effort?

Obarak123 · 2022-10-17T16:11:17+00:00

The journalist who wrote this has an agenda.

She was citing Researcher's findings that single unmarried women were more happy. But the researcher, Dolan, does not have definitive proof of that

Experts say — despite Dolan’s cited data — there isn’t any generalization you can make about what situation makes women happier because there is no one-size-fits-all (or even one-size-fits-most) for when it comes to contentment.

Though studies do show that most women do become less happy during the course of the marriage. I'm guessing that's why they initiate the most divorces. Her point at the end is quite unkind. She seems to imply all lonely men are either incels or "nice guys", nice to get in her pants. Which is quite the wide stroke to describing men seeking companionship.

nofaploveit · 2022-10-17T18:35:17+00:00

The fact that they say “m*n” boggles my mind. Like irs a terrible word

StingRayFins · 2022-10-17T21:46:30+00:00

What they refuse to address is they cannot find and lock down the man that they want. They get ghosted by men they want and they blame men instead of being able to get the man that they want.

elebrin · 2022-10-17T18:10:42+00:00

“Level up your mental health game. That means getting into some individual therapy to address your skills gap. It means valuing your own internal world and respecting your ideas enough to communicate them effectively. It means seeing intimacy, romance, and emotional connection as worthy of your time and effort,”

When the majority of people seem to need therapy, then the problem isn't with those people but with the expectations on them. Same thing goes with all the various disorders we are putting out there. What if the problem isn't that people are disordered, but rather that we have really fucked up expectations?

lifesuckswannadie · 2022-10-17T14:34:15+00:00

Womens standards are just sky high.

Ok-Translator2294 · 2022-10-17T16:12:05+00:00

I wasn't aware women were putting effort into dating in the first place. Can someone please send this memo to the girls I've tried dating in the past decade?

DeadSkullMonkey · 2022-10-17T18:54:15+00:00

It's simple. Just reverse the genders: "Most women not worth the effort" and see how they lose their minds. It's ridiculous these days how its accepted and nothing is done.

Low_Cranberry_4024 · 2022-10-17T13:42:43+00:00

just more men bad women good even when women are the ones cuasing the problem.

it's nothing new.

rabel111 · 2022-10-17T23:56:08+00:00

This author is a feminist crow, loudly squawking her hatred of men, and endorsing a world where men are irrelevant, worthless and subhuman.

The authors opinions, that people are worthless unless adherent to her narrow bigoted framing of humanity, speaks for itself. She is one of the increasing number of modern feminists who have more in common with extreme fascists, skating on the edge of brutality and callous indifference to humanity.

CawlinAlcarz · 2022-10-17T17:47:06+00:00

The field of psychology is dominated by women. The majority of actual mental health care therapists are women. They are fully indoctrinated in feminist dogma throughout their educational path to becoming qualified as a therapist. What kind of therapy do you think they're going to give you as a man if you show up? They're going to teach you all sorts of coping mechanisms to be happy and find fulfillment in your role as provider and cuckold.

Liberated_Asexual · 2022-10-17T22:04:16+00:00

Huh? What effort do women put into the actual initiation/execution needed to begin a relationship?

You know, as a kid, I was almost sort of proto-red pilled without ever having been exposed to even tangentially related concepts.

It just never made sense to me — it never made sense to be how the man had to almost always do all of the approaching and initiation, had to basically be perfect in presentation, had to be charismatic, good-looking, witty, and charming — while literally all the women had to do is make eye contact and laugh at the guy's jokes. All so the man could get the "prize" of the woman — it just seemed like such a one-sided, parasitic relationship to me.

Then I hit puberty and realized it was about pussy.

Then I studied evolutionary biology/psychology and got to understand just how much relationship leverage reproduction got women as a result of being the physically weaker sex and the reproductive bottle-neck in the mating game.

TrilIias · 2022-10-17T16:48:50+00:00

I seriously don't understand why that Psychology Today article was so fascinating to all the people desperate to take a massive dump on men. The article wasn't interesting it didn't back up it's arguments, and was just noting but "men are the problem because I say so."

I mean "skills deficits?" Like what? The article only mentions "emotional availability, good communication, and shared values."

First of all, since when is sharing someone else's values a skill?

As for emotional availability and good communication, the article needs to provide evidence that men lack in these areas rather than just making an unsupported assertion. If men tend to have different ways of communicating than women, why are we assuming that women's ways are the correct ways?

tiredfromlife2019 · 2022-10-17T20:28:31+00:00

Remember that 80/20 rule?

Although I heard that some now call it the 90/10 rule.

Here you go.

Rule is women and speaking in abstract general here don't want men that aren't the top 20% or 10%. They want Men in that 20% or 10% group.

But issue is that said group is small so you have women having to settle down with men they really don't want hence all the dead bedrooms and contempt for their husbands.

They are simply admitting to it now.

icedragon71 · 2022-10-17T23:12:50+00:00

Or maybe it's the men who have realised it's not the effort.

https://www.psypost.org/2022/10/new-study-identifies-an-increasing-disinterest-in-fatherhood-among-childless-men-in-the-united-states-64072

ThrowAway29307845034 · 2022-10-18T01:21:29+00:00

I just fucking LOVE this overwhelmingly hateful bullshit.

Women can vote for warmongers while immune to the draft, and men are expected to happily tolerate this sexist inequality without comment.

Women are almost zero percent of military fatalities, and men are expected to happily tolerate this sexist inequality without comment.

Women can create debt their husbands are responsible for, and men are expected to happily tolerate this sexist inequality without comment.

Women demand equal pay but won't do equal work in professions of excessive difficulty, discomfort, and DEATH, and men are expected to happily tolerate this sexist inequality without comment.

Women have made laws such that if men lie about birth control that's rape while if a woman lies about birth control he should have just kept it in his pants, and men are expected to happily tolerate this sexist inequality without comment.

Women can incriminate any man upon any accusation without due process but never pay a price when they lie, and men are expected to happily tolerate this sexist inequality without comment.

Women have special laws protecting only them from violence in violation of the 14th Amendment protections of equality before the law, and men are expected to happily tolerate this sexist inequality without comment.

Women can choose whether or not to be a parent after sex and even after birth because of their sex but men should just keep it in their pants over reasons of sex (sexism), and men are expected to happily tolerate this sexist inequality without comment.

Women almost exclusively refuse to marry men of lower financial station thus ensuring that if they initiate a divorce, they will get alimony, and men are expected to happily tolerate this sexist inequality without comment.

Women can take a child away from the father during a separation and that’s called physical custody, but when a man does the same it’s kidnapping, and men are expected to happily tolerate this sexist inequality without comment.

Women can be violent towards men with impunity, but if a man even so much as defends himself he’s seen as a woman beater and is all too often convicted of such, and men are expected to happily tolerate this sexist inequality without comment.

Women are automatically presumed to get custody of children because of sexist assumptions about only mothers being necessary, and men are expected to happily tolerate this sexist inequality without comment.

Women are immune to genital cutting while almost all boys have their penises mutilated at birth, and men are expected to happily tolerate this sexist inequality without comment.

In addition, men should do all the approaching, thus taking all the public social risk, do all the paying, put up with their shit-tests, again, all without comment. Further, if you have ANY standards about the women you date, you're a rapist misogynist who needs to get raped in prison until you die, and men are expected to happily tolerate this sexist inequality without comment.

And, if we do all this, we're still not worth the effort.

Gee, I just WONDER why they can't find a good man, huh? /s

somethingneet · 2022-10-17T14:25:19+00:00

0% of women are worth the effort, so best of luck to them when they realize they're 35 and their biological clock is ticking yet nobody wants them anymore because their looks faded and they're insufferable to be around.

IGotBigHands · 2022-10-17T19:35:35+00:00

Honestly the opposite is true. Most women aren’t worth the effort anymore. There was a time we’re most were but now a days men are better off alone if you can’t find a good women.

BettmansDungeonSlave · 2022-10-17T22:02:45+00:00

I’ll tell you what. The first company that makes advanced lifelike AI robots that can do housework and have realistic bedtime fun with the owner like in Blade Runner 2049 will make hundreds of billions. And that’s when human relationships will fall off a cliff

FuriousGeorge50 · 2022-10-17T21:30:33+00:00

I’ve never dated a woman in almost 12 years that actually did more housework than i did. The paying for dates part was also atleast 4:1, and the same goes for other departments

silent_boo · 2022-10-18T04:15:18+00:00

The article linked is so openly bitter, resentful and spiteful towards men I don't even have a response to it. Good luck to the author living a fulfilling life with that attitude.

What I'm more interested in is the claim within the very first paragraph that unmarried women are the happiest demographic. I see the claim all over the place and yet even after following all the linked sources I have yet to find any reliable numbers that actually substantiate the claim. There's one book by one researcher that is one of the original sources but the book is most opinion. Can someone link to any studies that actually found this to be true?

My guess is that the claim is based on self reported happiness and no objective measures of health or stress outcomes but I really want to know if there's any truth in it at all. The author of the book I mentioned is, incidentally, a proud anti-natalist, which obviously affects their opinions quite a lot.

IgorRenfield · 2022-10-17T19:17:38+00:00

There are men out there that aren't worth the effort. This is true. The same can be said of women.

Extra-Strike2276 · 2022-10-17T22:58:32+00:00

I don't disagree, but I also don't think most women are worth any effort either. So not a double standard really just only mentioning half the population in the article. The problem comes when someone says they don't think women are worth it because then everyone throws a fit. The truth is humans suck and if you're lucky you'll find one worth it and they will think the same of you.

HyakuBikki · 2022-10-18T04:14:33+00:00

If women don't want us then we'll gladly leave, just saying.

One-Low8135 · 2022-10-17T17:25:42+00:00

But aren't we also realizing that most women today are not worth the effort either? We are the ones who need to better ourselves. They can live in la-la-land for a few more years until the female loneliness pandemic starts. Hopefully groups like this one will lead us to build better communities of men so that we end our own loneliness pandemic sooner than later.

B1G_Fan · 2022-10-17T16:02:33+00:00

Incentives matter

It’s one of the basic concepts of economics

Men aren’t becoming husband, father, and provider material, then asking whether there are enough incentives to become a man who’s husband/father/provider material seems like a reasonable step to take

rsa1x · 2022-10-17T18:03:35+00:00

What effort are women putting in dating?? Tinder is far from representative of the general population, it is a hook up app!

Rod-Molina · 2022-10-18T01:42:49+00:00

But, at the same time, many of us know – often firsthand – that lonely men are dangerous.

They dedicated an entire paragraph (2nd last) to say how lonely men are a threat to the well-being of women, basically treating male singledom as a red flag. That's the cherry on top of this article: singledom empowers women, but make men a threat to society.

gwh1996 · 2022-10-18T01:55:55+00:00

I love the part where it mentions emotional intelligence. It's a skill everyone can work on. But we live in a world where men can't be emotional without backlash.

GivesStellarAdvice · 2022-10-17T19:41:15+00:00

this realisation that most men, truly, aren’t worth the effort.

I don't think this is necessarily an inaccurate assessment, but the blame goes to feminism.

Men's worth. What is it really in 2022?

It used to be a pretty simple formula. Women wanted financial security, physical security and social status. And they found worth in men based upon those 3 criteria. The higher a guys "score" in those 3 criteria, the more "worth" he had.

While some women still value those traits in men (and most will by they time they're 40), I'm not sure that those trait provide any "worth" to your typical early-20's woman in 2022.

Financial Security - While it's still nice to have the option to earn less money than you're capable of earning and supplement your lifestyle with the earnings of another person, it's not really a requirement anymore. Women have at least equal employment and earnings opportunities that men have if that's what they choose to put their effort into. So a man having a good, stable income is now viewed more as a "meh" than as something that makes him "worthy". And not having a good, stable income will get most men eliminated by most women without even getting to know more about him.

Physical Security - Not only are we living in some of the safest times in human history to begin with, ubiquitous guns have been the great equalizer and a woman is able to to provide for her own security with little difficulty. Combine that with feminists brainwashing women into believing that men are more likely to harm them, than to secure them, and the ability to provide physical security no longer carries any worth to women.

Social Status - If you're an early-20's woman and you want status, it's as easy as taking some or all of your clothes off and posting on social media and/or Onlyfans. Need a confidence booster? Just post a few bikini pics on Instagram and let the positive affirmation come rolling in. All but your elite men aren't going to be able to compete with that. As a result, the ability to provide women with social status no longer provides any "worth".

So it leaves me to ponder: Do women even know what they want men from anymore? Like if you were to ask 100 women "if you want to eventually marry a man, why do you want to do that", I think a lot of them are going to be stumped for an answer. You don't even need a man to have kids anymore, just get a donor or have an "accident". And for those women who could come up with an answer, I'm not sure there would be any consistency whatsoever in their responses.

So where does the blame go? Is it on the men who aren't able to provide to women whatever it is that would make the women deem them worthy? Or is it on the women who have no idea what it is that would make a man worthy? It's tough to be what women want, when we have no idea what women want.

And maybe it's not blame at all. Maybe it just is. It's the new normal and we're moving towards an America where people aren't really interested in marriage and just date for "fun" and no end goal in mind.

imbecile · 2022-10-17T15:58:40+00:00

Worth the effort to do what?

Everyone should put in the effort to be a decent human being, no matter if you want to shack up with someone or not.

Parzival_007 · 2022-10-17T14:37:41+00:00

Do you post here and the AskFeminist sub to compare and contrast or what is it?

macrian · 2022-10-18T03:14:14+00:00

Look. To be honest, most women aren't worth the effort for a relationship. They are pump and dump quality. Same goes for most men. More or less, most humans suck

Emyhatsich · 2022-10-18T04:00:06+00:00

Average men are just simply invisible to women nowadays. If you are not a millionaire and not look like gigachad, and not have a 6 pack then you’re not worth the time. Women just want the benefit the most from you

Creative_Ad2302 · 2022-10-18T04:23:07+00:00

Theres no way i do shit i dont like. Like travelling, giving up things i like (early morning gym, videogames, my cat, peace, freedom, stressless life) or marriage.

If you see it like that, the article is true.

Accomplished-Foot123 · 2022-10-18T06:29:07+00:00

Not worth the effort. Like what effort do they need to get a guy. 5/10 boom 💥 you have a 100 right swipes a day. 7/10, good job, earns above average, tall, funny, good conversationalist you get few right swipes outta which most are there to get free dinner in name of date. You become pregnant- you can abort if you don't want. If you wanna carry it, you get child support. What option does guy have in this matter. You can divorce the guy, still have kids, monthly alimony or half his shit. What option does that guy have. You become single mom, people praise for your strength and hustle. Guys are being critisized for not being enough and that's why you got dumped. You stay single- girls praised for being high values and not settling for anything less. Guys become single and 💥 again, you are officialy an Inc3l. The fact is, sexual/dating market is a cruel place for men. It has been like that and it will be. But the empathy gap for young men who can't find a good partner just cause they are not the top 10% guys is just so evil.

dfnxINC · 2022-10-18T13:07:29+00:00

The fact that the article says "we can live without them"like if men weren't part of humanity smh

PoolPartyAtMyHouse · 2022-10-18T16:24:26+00:00

Friendly reminder, women use to say "I'm too picky" and you virtually never hear that anymore, it's not "Standards"

This is just women now shifting blame using language. Yet another thing many women are doing take no responsibility for in an area they use to.

Remote_Neck3486 · 2022-10-17T18:06:21+00:00

They’re gonna realize that they all can’t have the top 5% of men, and if they do, they can’t have that man to only be with herself.

Huffers1010 · 2022-10-17T19:43:21+00:00

Female version of MGTOW, surely. And we've recently discovered that MGTOW is unacceptable.

Anih1list · 2022-10-18T01:00:54+00:00

She’s right. Most PEOPLE are not worth the effort.

AdobiWanKenobi · 2022-10-18T00:27:41+00:00

becoming increasingly comfortable with staying single until the right man (read: someone with basic emotional intelligence who knows how to operate a washing machine) comes along.

Funny

Mask_Dbater · 2022-10-18T02:37:50+00:00

The article pointed out a trend, but didn't really give any meaningful causes:

It could be social media, increases in cost in living, more men living at home, dating becoming harder, women having a wider array of options, men adopting MGTOW or not interested in dating, a tighter job market, decline in religion, people putting off marriage, less interest in socializing, etc.

There are so many factors that could affect loneliness in men, it's not possible to pinpoint because the data was self reported in the first place.

throwawaygoodvibess · 2022-10-18T04:13:13+00:00

We’ll hear this over and over again until they finally realize it doesn’t work and that the entire system has failed it’s own people

And perhaps parts of the system starts to crumble, and our way or life slowly erodes. The pleasant and nice aspects of current life will not be sustainable for too long.

South-Personality927 · 2022-10-18T07:58:31+00:00

If men aren’t worth the effort then what’s the term for women who are even farther below?

B1uefalc0n · 2022-10-18T10:30:29+00:00

Wow Men arent worth the effort? What do most Women bring to the table? Take away sex and good looks what is left? Most men have more bills instead of less by having a partner thats a fact. Think about it with 2 people shouldnt those two people working together have a significant amount of more spending money then if they were alone? Nope most women either dont work or dont contribute. They refuse to pick up their end of the couch because its the mans job to provide. If its our job to provide then its womens job to cook and clean. If women are working they need to contribute their earnings to the relationship (rent, food, utilities, maybe pay for a date). But they dont do that they think his place his money not my problem im just here cuz he wants me here why should i pay anything. Guys get rid of the bums from your lives and do your best to find a woman worth bringing in to your home. Stop supporting these women that would be homeless without our handouts and only fans donations. The best woman you can find is one that is independent and knows what it means to work for your money. Find a women in that group that matches with you.

Yoramus · 2022-10-17T22:09:33+00:00

A female version of MGTOW. They are welcome to leave and find happiness in other pursuits

Incidentally women who make the effort to write "m*n" don't strike me as being particularly valued in the dating market anyway.

StableStarStuff2964 · 2022-10-17T22:59:42+00:00

Relationships are tough, regardless of who you are, and regardless of who you’re with. Being in a committed relationship for a significant amount of time, inevitably, presents good times and bad. Is that so hard for people to grasp?

saito200 · 2022-10-18T09:56:14+00:00

Calling men trash is a great way to address the problem /s

Just_Luck_5495 · 2022-10-18T12:59:33+00:00

There's nothing wrong with having high expectations. If a man isn't worth the effort, then he's only got himself to blame.

MathematicianSad1915 · 2022-10-18T12:15:02+00:00

Truth is yeah most men aren't worth it. The more I observe other people the more the Less hope I see. The good news is to be "worth it" you just need to do the little thing. The little things you know you should be doing, start by making you bed everyday, then clean you house, then look after you other needs and health. Workout, eat right, organise your finances to get rid of bad debts and start building some wealth.

Become a man ffs and stop crying about woman having a high standards, they should if they get it wrong they end up being a single mother to a dropkick or killed. Also put up some standards yourself, standards for yourself and what standard you will live to.

Anih1list · 2022-10-18T01:00:15+00:00

I actually agree. Most PEOPLE are not worth the effort.

Anih1list · 2022-10-18T01:00:31+00:00

I actually agree. Most PEOPLE are not worth the effort.

_BlueShark87 · 2022-10-18T11:40:01+00:00

I feel like most men and women are just not worth it. You got no effort idiots over here who just leech off you and this is on BOTH genders. Yea I’m looking at both of you.

Title	Thoughts on this article? Most man not worth the effort?
Author	TheNamelessComposer
Upvotes	278
Comments	118
Date	October 17, 2022 12:11 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/y69kti/thoughts_on_this_article_most_man_not_worth_the/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/thoughts-on-this-article-most-man-not-worth-the.1208459 https://theredarchive.com/post/1208459

Comments