Why harm the children ?!

ramao__ · 2022-08-11T12:34:57+00:00

It's absolutely true that they want it. Had a girlfriend that explicitly told me she would have not problem running away and even hiding our kid from me if she felt like it or if I broke up with her (if we ended up having one, GLAD we didn't).

Ferbuggity · 2022-08-11T06:47:03+00:00

I just see so many women so comfortable with having kids and not really thinking of the child needs what so ever.

Narcissists don't think of anybody but themselves, is why.

My child went through nearly 7 years of almost complete fatherlessness through no fault of mine, I must add. And it really did her no good. Breaks my heart to think of it. Anyway, no matter what he did, I always made sure that door was open for him to see, talk to or visit his child. Even on days I wished he'd just vanish down a deep hole, I wouldn't talk badly about him in front of our child. Until he hooked up with a high;y manipulative psychopathic woman he was a great dad, and I'd never try to say he wasn't. Years later, after the stepmonster was long gone, thank god, my ex and daughter reconciled, she went to live with him a couple of years as a near adult, and while there were challenges, everyone was better for it. And so my grandson has a grandfather, too.

Unless a man is violent and abusive, there is no reason to deny him his children. Negative emotions of the mother are of zero importance in this matter, and I just wish more women put their children first. To not do so is extremely narcissistic.

Nathaniel66 · 2022-08-11T07:55:50+00:00

It is not so simple. I remember speaking with a katholic priest (i'm not religious, but he was a really smart and open minded guy, and we needed to have this conversation before getting married). We spoke about marriage, raising children and so on. And he told me (contrary to the common opinion) that in family: "you and your wife as a single individual units + you two as a couple are far more important that kids. Cause if you won't be happy, there's no way for your kids to be happy. Also, one day kids will be gone, having their own families, and you will still be together".

He also (what surprised me a lot) said that it's good we're having sex before marriage, cause so many couples find out they're completely not compatible in that area.

Anyways...depending on situation there are pros and cons of staying in bad relationship. Women leaving a drunk who beats the crap out of her...sure, she should do it. But women breaking a family cause she found someone better? That sux.

weirdornxtlvl · 2022-08-11T11:14:57+00:00

Men just don't understand the thrill of using your kids against an ex husband or an ex boyfriend. It's a lifestyle of abuse and power play to suck that man's money, destroy his mental health, deny him visitations and such. It is fun for the woman and I'm not even kidding, if there is no other parent to abuse, this whole thrill would be gone, probably a woman would prefer to commit infanticide at this point. That's why financial abortion, abolishing alimony and property division and equal custody laws would decimate this dynamic.

Fuzzy_Department2799 · 2022-08-11T13:13:48+00:00

Because its about them and not the kids. The kids are a pay check and a and a useful tool for manipulation.

Amazing-Bit6140 · 2022-08-11T15:29:56+00:00

I wonder what you guys think about gay couples adopting? I feel like if a single father can raise a kid well two of them should be more than fine and same for two women. Opinions? Would the kid suffer from not having a male or female figure?

Black-Patrick · 2022-08-11T21:56:45+00:00

A lot of society’s problems are indirectly related to an absence of a positive male role model especially in developing minds.

biopsia · 2022-08-11T11:21:18+00:00

Thank you so much for this. That is so fucking accurate it hurts.

KidRetro_95 · 2022-08-11T13:06:59+00:00

It's absolutely an ego thing, it might not be the only reason but it's definitely one of them

Trev6ft5 · 2022-08-11T20:47:11+00:00

It's narcissism

silly_birb_Banned · 2022-08-11T07:46:42+00:00

Imo it's because the government gets a cut out of the child support, promoting the feminist narrative of "a woman needs no man".

Women are nevrotic by nature and they fully went with this narrative as a phenomenon similar to mass hysteria, where one person starts panicking, so the next person also panics until everyone screams but nobody knows why; same thing for the hate towards men, ask a woman why and she will tell younit's because a feminist screamed "all men are evil".

The idea that a man cares of his family is lost in our society.

WiiWynn · 2022-08-11T19:51:41+00:00

For anyone who wants to pay attention, just look at how well children of single parents or absent parents end up. Sure there are success stories, but from experience, most are really struggling in adult life. Young men are emasculated and lack agency (and are susceptible to the same type of women that caused the single parent scenario in the first place) and young women are susceptible to really worthless men.

Then there’s life skills like how to make friends, how to grit thru things for longer term goals, how to build skills thru consistency and discipline from cooking and cleaning after yourself to navigating college or a personal business. These are things difficult to learn with two parents let alone one struggling to just keep the children alive.

JosephSmithSux · 2022-08-15T04:37:45+00:00

To women, children are property. Their property, which they will fight for just so you can't have it. Love has nothing to do with it, except your loving the kid makes them try harder.

Educational_Bet_6606 · 2022-08-21T11:31:39+00:00

Studies show its ideal to have both a father and mother figure present in a kids upbringing.

Bound-Submissive · 2022-08-11T19:34:57+00:00

I also fucking hate that.

I got mental wounds and mistakes I will never repeat, as a daughter of a cheating slut of a mother who stole custody. Thank goodness I went to live with my father as a teen.

My wretched mother neglected me and let her deadbeat fiance sexually abuse me (no penetration).

I feel lucky that I learn as an 8 year old from the tv that cheating is one of the worst things.

I hope I am good mother when the time comes. My spouse is head of household.

Those who steal custody and neglect own kids and dispose of fathers and take their family for granted as a whole, are brutally embarrassing my gender and I don't understand them. They are just vile harpies without morals.

imextremelymoderate · 2022-08-11T07:00:39+00:00

Feminism produces excellent career women but shitty mothers

hanbulance · 2022-08-17T17:22:07+00:00

I’m confused on what you think a father can do for a child that gives them this “balance” that single mothers can’t provide. Same with single fathers filling a mother’s role.

According to psychology today “an involved father can play a crucial role, particularly in the cognitive, behavioral, and general health and well-being areas of a child's life; having a positive male role model helps an adolescent boy develop positive gender-role characteristics; adolescent girls are more likely to form positive opinions of men and are better able to relate to them when parented by an involved father; it is generally accepted, under most circumstances, that a father's presence and involvement can be as crucial to a child's healthy development as a mother's”

I think that role can be filled by a mother, an uncle, an older brother. Really anybody, gender doesn’t matter. I tried to find a study about mother’s specific roles but found nothing specifically listing the roles but from what I read their roles are; caring for the child, catering to them, emotional support, and unconditional love. So a mother can provide the child emotional skills like stability, communication and self worth. I think Mother’s are seen as more important because she carried the child and gave birth so the child has an instant attachment to her where as a father has to connect with the child and take the time to get the same attachment.

Basically I think both of these parent roles can be filled by single parents of any gender, same sex couples, older siblings, other relatives, literally anyone that cares for the child and that person that provides these doesn’t have to live IN the household. An uncle, coach, teacher, or counselor can fill the gender specific needs for the boys if that’s what you’re worried about

scoobysnax91 · 2022-08-14T09:54:29+00:00

Masculine/feminine roles don’t need to be observed by a child. What are the benefits of being raised by a single mother vs a single father? What do fathers teach us that mothers can’t and what do mothers teach us that fathers can’t? Gender roles should be erased when raising a child period. Be a good person and set good examples to raise a good person. Feminism wouldn’t exist if society didn’t separate us into our own cages based on our gender at birth.

I’m reading through the thread and everyone says there’s benefits of a father (masculine) and mother (feminine) role when raising a child but are not listing these said benefits of either.

Foreign_Law3727 · 2022-08-11T07:46:29+00:00

Do you mean the women who don’t have abortions? Curious about the context of this question.

Grow_peace_in_Bedlam · 2022-08-11T19:28:06+00:00

It's disgusting how devalued fathers are in general. I haven't even had my son yet and I've already seen this. For example, I'm not allowed to accompany my wife to her prenatal medical appointments, even though the child is mine too and I have just as much of an interest in the child's well-being and proper development as she does.

Worst of all, it is very counterproductive. First, it puts all the stress on my wife to come up with questions at the appointment, denying us potentially useful information.

Second, news can sometimes be very unsettling for the pregnant women who receive care, and I think it is so callous, inhumane, barbaric, and cruel how they isolate them at times when they could really use the emotional support of their partners.

For example, a few weeks ago, my wife called me after leaving her appointment to tell me that the doctors had told her that our son's cerebellar development was about three weeks behind; when I got the news, my heart fucking sank.

However, after a moment of sober reflection, I got on my smartphone, looked up the number of days since the last menstruation date, and divided them by seven to get a conservative estimate of gestational age, and I realized that it lined up very closely with the estimated cerebellar development. Indeed, the doctors were using the estimated age based on the ultrasounds rather than the date of last menstruation (which happened to be on Christmas 2021, and we were with my wife's family for a whole week after that, unable to do the deed). They also didn't consider that I, her husband, am a foreigner from a country where people are on average considerably bigger, and even though I'm not tall, my family is on average much taller than hers, and my birth weight was much higher than those of any of the men in her immediate family, which could throw off the rigid expected size ranges of the hospital's ultrasounds; if I had been there, they couldn't have ignored this.

Nevertheless, since I wasn't there to check the dates and time elapsed, my wife left the appointment feeling anxious and hopeless without having been able to question their interpretation of the information. If I had been there, surely I could have made the calculation that I actually made and asked about it. Instead, now, every time she goes in for an appointment, she is terrified and anxious that we will be given bad news, thanks to the poisonous fucking seed they planted in her head (and my own, to a lesser extent).

This just goes to show you how people are willing to take their low opinion of men's value and importance to such far levels as to hurt the women whom men love.

I am going to write a letter of complaint to the maternity hospital after our baby is born, highlighting the pernicious effects of sidelining fathers(-to-be).

Title	Why harm the children ?!
Author	martialardis
Upvotes	139
Comments	68
Date	August 11, 2022 6:32 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/wlkfeq/why_harm_the_children/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/why-harm-the-children.1127769 https://theredarchive.com/post/1127769

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