Are you shallow?

SpaceWhiskey · 2018-11-25T16:53:58+00:00

I think everyone probably comes off as shallow to at least some people. I'm sure some people I don't care about think I'm shallow for whatever reason.

The people who I care about and whose opinion I respect seem to think I'm genuine, which is what I'm going for.

Your question C is hella biased and leading, by the way.

SweeterPickles · 2018-11-25T17:09:04+00:00

Sure. I don’t like dating women who are a little overweight. In strict terms that probably makes me shallow but I don’t date someone solely for their personality, as I’m sure is the case with everyone else.

All it means is that you’re looking at more than just a perfectly kind personality to date. I’ve met some very lovely women who I just am not attracted to physically, so there is easily part of me that is shallow.

But it’s something I can accept because who I choose to date is likely someone I choose to spend the rest of my life with, so I feel like o have the right to be choosy.

songofmelancholy · 2018-11-25T18:05:54+00:00

shallow is a shaming word. who gives a fuck?

I spend hundreds a month on how I look, i love bragging about my amazing body and proportions. I enjoy male attention and I will easily change my demeanor and interests to fit my boy of choice -- when necessary. i've dropped entire friend circles for a man's company. even if i knew him for a few days. friends and family have called me shallow, insecure, codependent...i don't care.

the only time i'm bothered is if the man i'm interested in thinks i'm shallow cuz it will affect how HE thinks of me, and that's not a good thing.

machimus · 2018-11-25T16:22:10+00:00

What are we talking about? For sex? For dating? For marriage? Just for checking someone out? I think we all have different sets of standards for all those things.

SerpentCypher · 2018-11-25T16:14:35+00:00

Yes.

It means I have standards.

Nope, I don't care if people are upset that I have standards. Those upset tend to be those that can't meet them.

It doesn't.

trail22 · 2018-11-25T23:51:06+00:00

Yes, It matters because it gets int he way of my ability to have a relationship with supportive good women.

Dubslav_von_Chekem · 2018-11-25T16:54:42+00:00

Yes.

A) Doesn't.

B) Looks matter.

C) Who cares?

D) Shieeeeeet

DespisedByWomen · 2018-11-25T20:48:49+00:00

Yes.

A) it matters because it effects my pool of potential partners.

B) it means I have dealbreakers regarding physical appearance

C) I am very open about my physical standards, I dont give a fuck what other people think, my standards are reasonable to me.

D) it doesn't effect my life in any way. If someone thinks I'm shallow I dont stumble over myself trying to prove I'm not, they can think whatever they want about me and I'm free to disagree with them, that's the beauty of America.

FicksFirstLaw · 2018-11-25T16:43:15+00:00

Alls I wanna say about being shallow is this:

I am a fairly shy, but attractive woman in junior college. Every end of the semester, without fail, I will be approached by at least 1 person that I have not spoken to the entire semester.

I try to give them the benefit of the doubt that perhaps they just need a friend and thought I seemed approachable in that sense, but of course that’s never the case.

If I refuse a date or simply do not eagerly respond and express interest it is not uncommon to be accused of being shallow for not enthusiastically accepting and reciprocating their advances.

While some of the time they may be correct that I find them physically unattractive, the reality is that there is little I find endearing or genuine about someone that I know is only approaching me because of how I look.

So it’s not being called shallow that I oppose, it’s the hypocrisy of being called shallow for refusing someone who only pursued me for their own shallow reasons.

Electra_Cute · 2018-11-25T16:11:07+00:00

Shallow is a meaningless word people use because they feel like there is a "true self" hiding beneath them, but the reality of the situation is that you do not have(as in possess) some hidden personality or character, but rather you are your personality or character and that is what people observe using their sensory instruments.

I would say I am "shallow" because I do not possess the ability to peer into the depths of a person to observe some immaterial soul or personality. If anyone here possesses this ability immediately notify me.

MercedesBenzoAMG · 2018-11-25T16:13:38+00:00

Every single human being on the planet is "shallow" it is a meaningless shame word people use if they wanna feel superior to you.

I'm shallow just like everyone else, I feel nothing about it. It just is what it is. Might as well ask my feelings about gravity.

[deleted] · 2018-11-25T16:15:53+00:00

In some ways, yes.

I have always found it vital that my partner have good taste in music. Objectively not a good indicator of their potential to be a good partner, but it's important to me. I think most people have things like that.

I don't give a fuck if people think I'm shallow for that. If they don't like it, they don't have to date me.

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LittleGanymede · 2018-11-25T16:18:16+00:00

I didn't used to be back in my simp blue pill days. I would have literally accepted any woman. Now a days I definitely am.

passepar2t · 2018-11-25T16:39:42+00:00

I'm extremely shallow. It doesn't matter in the slightest. I have triggers but being called shallow isn't one of them. I think almost all people are fake and lead fake lives saying fake things.

Physiologymatters · 2018-11-25T17:26:02+00:00

I'm shallow about a couple of things, the main ones being they must be athletic and they must lift (does not =must have 6 pack; no bodybuilders)

A) it matters because it has implications for both our personality/lifestyle compatibility and their long term health

B) it means I didn't date people who weren't fit

C) no. Don't care if people think I'm shallow

D) I might have to modify my behaviour if I want something from them

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2018-11-25T17:40:22+00:00

shallow is a meaningless shaming word for "you prefer things i dont approve of with my ghey cryptochristian morality"

nothing is less shallow that looks and appearance

Pope_Lucious · 2018-11-25T17:41:48+00:00

Looks are the main selection criteria for me,

So I guess so, yes.

Gravel_Roads · 2018-11-25T18:11:16+00:00

I guess I’ve never really used “shallow” to describe someone. I’ve have a policy of “dodging anything that looks like a bullet”, so my standards for what I consider a deal breaker are extremely high. Because of this, I feel it would be hypocritical to shame someone else for having their own unique standards. People who know what they DONT want tend to be able to save everyone a lot of time if you just don’t take it personally. My #1 turn off is someone not being attracted to me. So fortunately the problem kinda solves itself, and we can both be on our way.

beachredwhine · 2018-11-25T18:41:41+00:00

I don't think I'm shallow but my wife constantly tells me I'm incredibly vain and incredibly judgemental. She says it with a little smile though

[deleted] · 2018-11-25T19:00:35+00:00

YES, I AM SHALLOW.

A) What does it matter?

What does it English?

B) What does it even mean?

I'm only attracted to women out of my league (which are most women, but that's besides the point).

C) Does someone thinking you are shallow trigger you that much that you live a fake life being a fake person always saying fake things so people don'y believe you are shallow?

No, I live a fake life because I don't want to be morally lynched.

D) How does some person thinking you are shallow impact your life?

If it's just one person, not a lot. If it's more than one person, well, I could risk losing my job (happened once) or even worse.

darla10 · 2018-11-26T00:32:26+00:00

If you’re talking about attraction, everyone is shallow from the perspective of the undesirable.

DaphneDK42 · 2018-11-26T01:24:43+00:00

No. I'm deep. Especially when it comes to what girls I'd want to be with. Looks is alpha-omega. This means I ensure the best genes for my rapidly expanding brood.

cxj · 2018-11-26T02:56:20+00:00

YetAnotherCommenter · 2018-11-26T03:06:01+00:00

Almost everyone is shallow to some extent. I'd be lying if I said I don't find certain appearances attractive. My tastes can be atypical (it helps that I'm bisexual), but whilst I do have preferences regarding personality and psychology and intelligence, I am not indifferent to appearance. I'm less looks-driven than average (or at least I'd like to think so) but I'm certainly not indifferent to looks.

Okay, so let's go to your questions.

A) Its not morally wrong to be sexually shallow or semi-shallow. It is morally wrong to be prejudiced about people's moral character on the basis of looks.

B) Being "shallow" in this case means you have appearance requirements to be sexually attracted to someone. These requirements cannot be overridden by other factors. They're necessary conditions. The more necessary appearance requirements you have, the more shallow you are. A "perfectly" shallow person has an extensive set of necessary appearance requirements and doesn't care about personality, intellect or moral character at all.

C) I'm a dude so I'm expected to be somewhat shallow. Women are in a different situation; they're expected to have this 'deeper' and more high-minded sexuality. A positive prejudice can backfire.

D) See above.

MisterJose · 2018-11-26T05:27:40+00:00

There are a lot of things I was told growing up that turned out just not to be so, at least for me. Turns out, money can make you happy, helping others isn't always fulfilling, and a night of hardcore, hedonistic fun can be a memory that stays with you and you'll value more than a whole lot of other memories. Don't believe the purity and virtue hype.

TriadFamilyTimes · 2018-11-27T11:28:54+00:00

Yes. Don't know what it matters, what it means is that I won't date anyone I do not personally consider to be attractive and my standards for who is considered attractive are a bit strict. I don't rate numbers, you are or you aren't, and most people aren't.

I don't fake shit, I simply do not talk about appearance to anyone, ever, unless I am attracted to them. I do not comment on most people's appearance. "If you don't have anything nice to say" and all that. My version of body positivity is no one who I think they're ugly will ever hear from me or anyone else that I think so. I don't have to lie one bit. I just deflect and talk about other things.

No one thinks I'm shallow except my girlfriends so it doesn't affect me and they don't mind cause they're attractive and they know it.

Jebediah_Goodplow · 2018-11-25T17:51:17+00:00

No, I already know I'm not looking for my "looks match." I've discovered the mindset of the types of women I'm really interested in don't usually fall into the Stacy girl level of looks.

I just have to try and keep her from looking up some ex's, and getting a complex before I've at least seen her naked, and made her feel sexy.

Title	Are you shallow?
Author	Mr_White119811
Upvotes	3
Comments	66
Date	November 25, 2018 4:08 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/a09mw4/are_you_shallow/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/are-you-shallow.258873 https://theredarchive.com/post/258873

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