“Better tk ask forgiveness than tk ask for permission.” Thoughts on this quote?

wingbark · 2019-11-05T17:29:49+00:00

Yes. If a man ever asked permission to kiss me I'd be totally turned off. Saying that though, there's a lot of middle ground between that and just going for it unannounced. Most guys are able to flirt and read cues and understand when a woman's into them.

Kos_-_Omak · 2019-11-05T17:58:34+00:00

A lot of dudes are socially retarded and do dumb shit like asking for permission to kiss a girl.

A lot of 21 year old girls are dumb as hell and constantly putting themselves into uncomfortable situations then blaming other people for their discomfort.

The story in the OP is the part of the Venn diagram where the two circles overlap.

HarassMyAnger · 2019-11-05T17:37:04+00:00

Were they coworkers? If so, fuuuuuuuck just doing it with a 10 foot pole. While having the law step in is a little far fetched, it is not far fetched to assume that if an interaction goes wrong, that she will march straight to HR and get fired from your job, with a black mark on your record.

NEVER mess with a girl on the job.

Orange_Paisley · 2019-11-05T20:41:08+00:00

Asking can be flirtatious and charming if you play it right. You usually know already if someone has shown you interest, unless you are completely socially inept. In a setting completely devoid of interactive flirtation it’s probably a bad move.

Aaren_Augustine · 2019-11-05T17:43:53+00:00

Imagine if Chad asked whether he could kiss her - she would have found it cute and endearing. IMO the girl wasn't interested in this guy well before he asked.

SmurfESmurferson · 2019-11-05T18:06:46+00:00

Awkwardly asking for a kiss (from a coworker? Did I read that right) is just as much of a turn off than going to for a kiss with no flirting or build up

Set the mood and escalate, and you’ll know if she wants that kiss

wtknight · 2019-11-05T18:25:30+00:00

There is a kind of social foreplay in these situations. Both asking without this foreplay for a kiss and just going in for the kiss are equally dumb moves unless she’s putting out IOIs like crazy.

CosmicBioHazard · 2019-11-05T18:58:15+00:00

What the fuck happened to affirmative consent? I hate to accuse women of acting on feelings rather than logic, but if any woman on earth asked any man permission to kiss him, the last thing he'd be is creeped out whether he granted permission or not.

And y'all go around talking bout 'me too'. You'd get metoo'd asking for consent supposing you respected a 'no'.

goatismycopilot · 2019-11-05T21:06:24+00:00

It is more about reading the context and situation which many, many, people are bad at doing so they are in a constant state of anxiety because they did an underplay or an overplay. Everyone here hates boomer advice but hiding behind technology and not practising basic obervational skills will cost ya. I am also very easily entertained and I am always people watching.

angels-fan · 2019-11-05T21:19:28+00:00

I asked a girl if I could kiss her once and she said it was incredibly hot.

Who the fuck knows??

Dora_Bowl · 2019-11-05T18:33:10+00:00

Vacant of any context; it seems really stupid when you apply it to certain situation. If you are being arrested for trespassing you will not be able to talk yourself out of it.

brokegradstudent_93 · 2019-11-05T20:44:52+00:00

Read people’s body language...if they seem into you go in 90% then let her go in the other 10. If she’s not into it just back off

rus9384 · 2019-11-05T21:07:05+00:00

I am now thinking of the third option: asking for a kiss.

slavicgypsygirl · 2019-11-05T21:40:54+00:00

When I am sexually attracted to someone them asking or not asking permission doesn't matter

poppy_blu · 2019-11-06T00:34:43+00:00

Op:

If you were hooking up with a girl, and it was hot, and she suddenly started shouting dirty obscenities like the chicks do in porn... would you be turned on?

Now imagine your waking down a busy street one day and a random woman walked up to you and started screaming the same obscenities at you. Would you be turned on? Or would you be calling for a straitjacket?

findingfemininity · 2019-11-05T17:32:59+00:00

Part of game is being able to read a woman's body language. Asking for permission to kiss her makes a man come off as a high inhib weirdo.

I know there’s lots of hand wringing here about not wanting to get metooed

From high inhib weirdos who have little to no experience with women.

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katymarx · 2019-11-05T22:43:40+00:00

I’d bet that if he just went in for the kiss, she’d have been fine with

Hmmmmm, I wouldn't bet on that. Given that they work together it would be more prudent. I think there are ways to verbalize consent that are more effective than his approach but those are for dating.

Besides, if she got out of the car into the rain, then he was clearly repulsive to her regardless.

Wait....were they on a date and not co-workers? Think I read this wrong.

ontherailstoday · 2019-11-06T02:37:26+00:00

I wouldn't want to be kissed properly in a car while on break from work either. You'd go back tousled which isn't professional. If I went to spend my lunch break chatting in his car with a guy I was dating, I'd probably be eating my sandwiches and drinking my coffee... so I'd have bits of food in my mouth and coffee flavors and that's not great for kissing either. And the possibility of being seen snogging by a passing workmate.... ugh no thanks.

I think it is assuming a fair bit to say she'd have allowed it and it would have been fine.

Skolpill · 2019-11-06T03:05:33+00:00

Need more context in this story. Do you really bet that if he just went for it it would have been fine? We’re they flirting? Maybe she wanted to spend her lunch break around a guy se was comfortable with.

You say it turned her off but was she feeling it in the first place?

Edit: was this a “ so wanna make out” in a cheeky way or “c-can I kiss you” with upward voice inflection.

wingbark · 2019-11-06T03:08:51+00:00

Yeah, no. This is where you're trying to be "smarter" than women by listening not to what they say they want, but what you think you can figure out that they want. THe last thread I replied to was about "Men having huge egos" and this is a perfect flagship example. You in your 26 years of life think incorrectly that you can figure out how to do things better than women for women. That's factually stupid, your post is an assumption based on almost nothing. And it's entirely to your advantage and that's what you miss. You're not assuming she actually wanted him to kiss her. You're assuming he could have done it and gotten away with it.

Women have been SCREAMING for years to stop trying to pull shit like that and you're more than old enough to stop trying to talk yourself into this shit like you are in this post. You call yourself this old man, dude you sound young af to me. I'm 34. This old man says "better to respect women's boundaries even if you're not sure on them than catch a rape accusation, get fired, or make them uncomfortable by being an asshole who assumes where he has no right.

That's right. Their personal comfort in their own space is five hundred thousand times more important than your desire to kiss them.

Mulkvistee · 2019-11-06T07:25:51+00:00

I've never been asked before, would likely weird me out but would probably depend on the circumstances. Definitely more weirded out vibes the older a guy I'd date would be, seems like more a youthful thing to do.

I saw a "guys wouldn't care if asked" response but my one time of asking has fucking haunted me!! Not even overtly sexual either. Before my h and I were dating we were at a Halloween party and he was in an elaborate King Kong costume, that thing was legit but very hot. He took off the mask and his hair was kinda sweaty and in his eyes. With a mask in one hand and a drink in the other I reached over to move it when I had a terribly timed moment of buzzed clarity. People touched his hair all the time and he hated it. The fake smile and lean away thing every woman knows, I'd seen him do it. So smooth as fuck (read: like a total tard) I say "Do YoU cARe iF I tOucH yOuR haIr?" He dropped the mask and plopped my hand on his head.

He brought it up way later and instead of acting all aware and polite I owned that it was actually awkward buzzed inspiration. It's been over a decade but he still makes jokes about that. It will never ever die

SyrusDrake · 2019-11-06T14:42:39+00:00

If it's to circumvent bureaucratic corporate regulations to realize an idea you know has potential, this is a sound idea.

If it's about ignoring consent and just doing to a woman what you want, this is a terrible idea.

[deleted] · 2019-11-07T01:57:55+00:00

Yeah, only because it's weird to answer that question. It's weird when an attractive guy does it but I can kind of laugh it off, and when a guy I don't like asks me, it's even weirder. Always comes out of nowhere, always like "what would you do if I kissed you right now?", like we're two middle schoolers whispering to each other on the phone so our parents don't overhear.

RudePercentage5 · 2019-11-05T18:32:04+00:00

It's complicated but yes. Things are weird right now. Most women want a guy to dominate/be more aggressive with them sexually and this is usually a huge turn on. The problem is that the combination of a few male psychopaths and overly fragile women who cannot speak up for themselves have left young people extremely confused.

cappeca · 2019-11-05T19:08:34+00:00

Do what you want and fuck the consequences

Title	“Better tk ask forgiveness than tk ask for permission.” Thoughts on this quote?
Author	wingbark
Upvotes	0
Comments	59
Date	November 5, 2019 5:23 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/ds2d35/better_tk_ask_forgiveness_than_tk_ask_for/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/better-tk-ask-forgiveness-than-tk-ask-for.294125 https://theredarchive.com/post/294125

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