Because of the posts I'm seeing in this subreddit, I want to potentially help some men out here. Or, perhaps I'm wrong and overlooking things, and you can tell me or just ignore me. Maybe I'm just flat-out wrong. It wouldn't be the first time. I'm also extremely interested to see if any women agree with my thoughts to any extent.

My position is that men overthink everything when it comes to starting some type of relationship with a woman: be it hook-up, short-term or long-term.

I see all this stuff about warm social circles, cold approach, friend circles...don't try pick-up in grocery stores but libraries are okay... if you're under this height do this, if your facial structure is this, chad, beta, pill colors, statistically average men should do this, etc. etc.

Let me simplify how to increase your success with getting a woman.

  1. Improve your appearance as much as you can in every way that you possibly can.

  2. Talk to EVERYONE in a polite and friendly way when you're anywhere in the outside world.

That's it, guys. That's the formula.

If you're going to overthink anything, overthink point #1. Women---as a whole---are very moved by appearance. I don't give a fuck about any objections to this point.

Women---as a whole---are superficial as fuck, and that's okay! I am too. In some ways, it's a very necessary and good thing for women to be this way. But, that's a very long conversation.

So, go ahead and overthink how to improve your appearance. Appearance is damn important. Don't let anyone try to tell you otherwise. If your looks are more average...okay then...you go after women who are more average. People shouldn't use a more average appearance as an excuse. The truth is that the world is filled with average people who are hooking up with each other.

Now, for men who are truly objectively unattractive...yes, you're likely to have a much more difficult time getting women. That's just the way it is...I'm not here to lie to anybody. If the world consensus is that your looks are really bad, it's likely to be a tough road. But, how many men does this really apply to?

I'm older now, but my looks are still considered pretty good. When I was younger, they were very good. I've got no reason to lie here. This goes a long fucking way. It really very often goes further than it should. It often goes much much further than it should. You can get away with a lot of shit. But, that's just the way it is...no use lying about this reality. But, what it really allows is for you to go after very beautiful women. But, like I said, if your looks are more average, then go after women who are more average also. Isn't this really common sense, though?

Get advice from women about haircuts, shoes and clothes. Pay more money to get a very good haircut. Get advice from knowledgeable people about nutrition, skincare, exercise programs, proper sleep, etc. Most importantly: GET LEAN! Nothing will take you further than getting lean. Overthink appearance if you like. It will help your life in many ways besides just pick-up.

As far as the height thing: yes, that is a big factor. There's not much that can be done about this. Height goes a long fucking way with women. There's nothing to be gained by denying this.

But, ultimately you have to make the best with what you've got. Shorter men get women too. Don't use that as an excuse. I see shorter men with women every time I go out in the world. You've got to work with what you've got. No way around it.

Point #2: I think that, for many reasons, a good practice is being polite, friendly and sociable with everybody. Regardless of gender, attractiveness, social status, wealth/poverty...start conversations with everybody when you're out in the world. This is also great practice for how to get over shyness, etc. As an exercise, walk through a store and say "hi" to everybody you pass. I do this all the time. Some of the people you pass will be attractive women. It's much easier to say hello to them when you say hello to everybody.

Now, concerning meeting women specifically...

Almost always, words will have to come out of the man's mouth first. If you pay attention, you'll see nonverbal signalling that indicates the woman wants you to say something to her. That's a long conversation, but you can research that on your own.

For men, start conversations in a polite and friendly way. Men these days are fucking terrified of just saying hello to a woman. Just be friendly. Within five seconds, it's usually apparent whether or not the woman wants to talk to you. If she doesn't, politely say you hope she has a great day and leave. Stop being so terrified! Saying hello to a woman isn't going to somehow ruin your life. Rejection is part of life. Stop being so frightened by the prospect of rejection.

Just say hello and whatever comes to your mind. If the woman's interested, you'll immediately be in a conversation with her...and, if your friends or someone else is watching from a distance, they'll often be wondering, "What did he say? How does he do it? How does he get into conversations with women so easily?"

Just be friendly and start saying almost anything and if the woman is interested, she'll see to it that there's a conversation that happens. All this stuff about pick-up lines and "negging" and all of that is total bullshit. Just start saying anything that comes to mind. You'll immediately see if you should proceed or not.

This is how it actually works. The woman is always in control of the outcome. So stop overthinking things. You're not in control of it beyond just improving your appearance and making the first move in a polite, friendly manner.

After that, if the woman's interested, she'll see to it that it happens. Women are very intuitive. They've got you sized-up pretty damn well pretty fucking fast. This is how it actually works in the real world.

If your appearance is at least average, don't use that as an excuse! As I mentioned, this world is filled with average people who have paired-up. If you think that these days none of this is worth it...I actually sort of agree with you, but I'm also not 25 years old anymore, either, so my perspective is different now.