"Commitment" and "doing what you say you're going to do" aren't the same thing.

Uncommon_Sensed_1234 · 2019-01-24T04:13:25+00:00

Your post is confusing. You are speaking for both men and women out of perception of what you think each wants.

"I think this comes from men's incapability to reconcile women wanting relationships for recreation only." No want expects a STR to have the same level of vested personal interest as a LTR. LTRs involve some level of commitment which is more serious than recreational games suited for a STR.

Plopolok · 2019-01-24T04:57:22+00:00

This post is highly confusing but oddly specific in parts like it’s very personal or you wrote this after some sort of argument.

TheBookOfSeil · 2019-01-24T04:58:58+00:00

Your first few sentences show where the confusion is. You say women want something, but don’t need it. If they want it, then they’re going to try to get it whether they need it or not. Your opinions of them not needing it like are farts in the wind.

Then, you want to blame men for women’s desires. Really?

Finally, you say commitment is obligation, but you don’t clarify what the obligation is toward. Is it obligation toward each other? If so, to do what? Put up with each other’s crap because they’re not the same exact person they met 5 years ago? Out of “obligation?”

If I’m correct so far, I could sum this post up from the undertones alone as “Men are the cause of committal problems in a relationship, and they should continue loving their women even if they turn into Jaba the Hutt with a severe case of PMS because they’re obliged to.”

Barely-moral · 2019-01-24T04:34:04+00:00

Women want a man that takes their obligations seriously. Everyone wants that. Unless you describe it as commitment, then you're being needy and no one wants that.

What???

How does that work? So... everyone wants "X" but if you call it "Y" instead of "X" then you are being needy... for wanting what everyone else wants?... so everyone is needy? and no one wants a needy person... that is only needy because they call it "Y" instead of "X"?

BlindingTwilight · 2019-01-24T04:38:00+00:00

You are very confused and it shows in this post. Women are the gatekeepers to sex and men are the gatekeepers to commitment. It is that simple.

jax006 · 2019-01-24T05:40:54+00:00

Responding only to the title because the OP body sounds like something I scribble on my journal while high AF

They arent all that different if you look up the word commitment. It's basically means committing to something. So, idk how that differs from "doing what you say you're going to do" those sound prett similar..

NeedingAdvice86 · 2019-01-24T05:54:42+00:00

I think you need a therapist.

Your grandmother was 1000x smarter than you when she told you that:

"Nobody is going to buy the cow when you give them the milk free".

And she wasn't talking about milk...she was talking about your pussy. It used to be common sense because those women actually fucking understood male\female relationships and had not been convinced that not being a male was toxic for some reason.

99% of men actually think it is okay for you to be normal female and to follow the advice of your grandmother.....but she knew and men know that if you leave your panties on the counter every night you go out because you aren't going to be needing them then no guys are not going to be jumping to do any thing special such as a relationship or commitment...why should they you already have your panties off.

That used to be common sense...and is still followed by 85% of regular non-reddit women across the globe.

Pope_Lucious · 2019-01-24T05:23:33+00:00

Yea. Men want to do what they want to do and don’t want to see your face everyday.

Men actually understand what commitment entails- a massive increase in obligations. So many of us avoid it because the juice isn’t worth the squeeze.

beachredwhine · 2019-01-24T04:45:06+00:00

Men will indeed commit. But only to their family. And then only some men will do this. And then, again, only with a girl who is worth it. I hate it break it to you lovely beings, but being told non stop you are always awesome, doesn't actually mean you are.

A woman who is committed to her man will move, will give up everything, and follow him to the depths of hell itself. But women? I hate to break it to you since you are so used to being the fox, and the hound howls at you, but these men who are worth following are FAR rarer than a girl, with her youthful overies. Even if you feel in demand. You can go make your angry posts about how much in demand you are, again.

How would barely aware terps say it? When they aren't crying about Chad the body builder?

There are some men who have true inner worth and validate themselves. They create. Why does a fashion become the fashion? Because a man, who is a leader, and who can and does validate himself, then deigns to validate another. We give you permission.

But you can't just look for a man who grants permission, for this reason. The half thought out boy who tells all the other boys he learned the touch of death from batman cartoons and his sensei, the neck beard himself, will indeed act exactly like the man who gives his permission.

It gets way worse even if you can understand this bit.

Men have evolved to mimic the man who is so self secure, who knows himself so well, that he does not need or want your validation, it's not even an afterthought, he doesn't watch himself. He watches you. To see if you are good enough to be his wife.

And many an NPC now runs this program. They run their programming until they die. But they can't actually commit to you, you his wife, who he really actually commits to. Because he isn't a confident man, he isn't being himself, their is no self there, he can't act, he reacts. He has no actual self confidence. He runs self confidence.bat, and as a man he must be truly very stupid to be so self unaware. Something only guys see. As we stop and wonder why girl? While you only see, he runs the validate others program.

This man you want is so rare that women will disbelieve a great deal to believe that her man could be one of them. He could be a great man! He could be a man who validates himself! And then can validate others from his place as the superior man, a man that yes, other men will do their best to shit upon.

Methinks you fell in love with a gamma man. I hate to break it to you lovely girls. Men are very busy playing many games, totally unaware that they are, men normally don't have any self awareness, and there is no one telling you the truth.

Observe actual winning. If a guy tells you a sob story? RUN. RUN NOW!! RUN FAST!!!!!

MoodyBrizo · 2019-01-24T05:39:11+00:00

Either you're very high, or don't know how to construct thoughts in the English language.

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_Neon_Shadow_ · 2019-01-24T05:37:01+00:00

I'm not sure I follow. But if men and women both want commitment, what's the problem?

Plopolok · 2019-01-24T08:19:46+00:00

It seems to me that what you're describing would be better described as "keeping his word". Part of the problem is that the obligations you're talking about, "what both agreed on when they got together", are not always clear. When both partners are happy and loving, no problem. When they're unhappy and love disappears, it's hard to disentangle if someone didn't commit to their obligations or the other one redefined them.

Anyway, there is a need for a term to describe what is called commitment by RP in "women are the gatekeepers of sex, men the gatekeepers of commitment". It might not be 100% true since, as you say, women can enjoy recreational relations, but it's generally true. So if you think commitment doesn't fit, which word do you propose?

Eastuss · 2019-01-24T08:21:42+00:00

Seems like you're conflating commitment and dedication.

wobbleelbbow · 2019-01-24T08:49:20+00:00

You want his damn time. And space. Imagine if he was never there. Would you call it a relationship? Or even commitment? You are full of yourself op

Xemnas81 · 2019-01-24T16:17:48+00:00

So commitment=commitment to...forever only be giving her casual sex?

Child-centric women seek commitment,less child-centric women seek to optimise the sensual side of their hypergamy. Hence why the Pill saw a rise in hookup culture.

Until a young woman hits the Wall, 'baby rabies' (if ever) then yes, she will rationalise that she and by extension 'women as a class' do not seek, desire, or even NEED commitment from men. This is RP canon. Same rationalisation as how many incels will deny they just chase and pine after Stacies rather than Beckies or...you know...Gertrudes.

BobApposite · 2019-01-24T20:10:10+00:00

This sounds like some sort of bad sophistry.

It doesn't even make any sense.

What's the difference between a "commitment" and an "obligation"?

I can't see one.

Not in modern parlance, anyway.

[Obviously, "obligation" has its roots in duties owed a lord by their liege, or in this case, owed a lady by a subject. So "obligation" is a word with shades of a "power" relationship. Whereas commitment is a word indicating a relationship between equals.]

But I digress...

It's not like people getting into relationships draw up contracts with explicit terms.

Usually people just fall into relationships without any explicit discussion of anything.

The truth is most relationships are just a never-ending series of small ad hoc negotiations and re-negotiations around some "normal".

The author refers to "men's incapability to reconcile women wanting relationships for recreation only", but I think that's a criticism that goes both ways.

I mean - recreation ( I would say "company") is pretty much all women have to offer men - and men aren't going to assume "commitments" or "obligations" in return for nothing.

Maybe the problem is the author's post is just too vague, but as far as I can tell they're trying to draw a distinction where there's actually no difference.

WhatIsTheMeaningHere · 2019-01-25T01:28:21+00:00

Commitment is just not having sex with other people. That's all that word means to me.

Title	"Commitment" and "doing what you say you're going to do" aren't the same thing.
Author	Eartherry
Upvotes	7
Comments	79
Date	January 24, 2019 4:04 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/aj8jb4/commitment_and_doing_what_you_say_youre_going_to/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/commitment-and-doing-what-you-say-youre-going-to.257657 https://theredarchive.com/post/257657

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