Define toxic masculinity/femininity.

Cactuar_Tamer · 2014-11-21T12:30:44+00:00

Masculinity or femininity that is toxic to it's host.

For guys, having to act tough even when you really do need help, to the point that you commit suicide instead of getting help for emotional issues or die of a detectable disease because you decided to tough out the pain until it was too late.
For girls, 'learned helplessness,' One example, being terrified of typical and very simple car stuff like changing a tire or giving a jump. Includes being bad at things because you've bought into it that you're just supposed to be bad at X so why try.

There are many other manifestations for both genders.

Jacksambuck · 2014-11-21T12:58:21+00:00

Just my subjective opinion, but:

It's on a spectrum, and most stereotypically femininine and masculine qualities are not inherently toxic, but become so when there is too much of it.

toxic masculinity: too great an unwillingness to compromise, too great a propensity to solve conflicts with violence, too much stoicism in the face of danger(like not going to the doctor)...
toxic femininity: relying too much on the judgment and help of others, seeking consensus and harmony at the cost of Truth and effectiveness, letting emotions guide one's decision-making process...

Two sides of the same coin. If you are completely anti-masculinity, you get toxic femininity and vice-versa.

SirNemesis · 2014-11-21T16:02:34+00:00

Feminist notions of how men and women should behave are what I consider toxic masculinity and femininity.

quiet-observer · 2014-11-21T11:33:41+00:00

Isn't it when you and the rest of society feel so beholden to the typical standards of what it is to be a man or woman that it's self-destructive?

Like how a man has to "man up" and put a lid on his emotions, or how a woman is supposed to feel so ashamed of her sexuality that it is her fault if she's raped?

I feel that it causes a lot of issues in society, but really for men in particular at this moment, as women are gradually becoming liberated from the cage of gender roles, while men are still afraid to be themselves to the point where there is violence against "feminine" men and suicidal behaviour is indirectly fostered by the fear of seeking help.

[deleted] · 2014-11-21T12:13:35+00:00

Toxic masculinity: the idea that you can only be a man if you do xyz and you must do xyz even if it leads to negative consequences.

To put it another way you could think of it as the idea that you have a "man card" which you're in danger of losing (by being seen as weak, crying in public, being raped ect) and the lengths men will go to retain it to the point of destructive behavior.

The trouble with defining an equivalent "toxic femininity" is that femininity is traditionally passive while masculinity active. Women don't really have an equivalent "woman card" to gain or lose. The closest equivalent would be urging girls to retain their "purity"(virginity, submissiveness) but that doesen't really manifest in the same way.

Interestingly the coining of the term seems to have come not from feminists, but from mens advocates looking to contrast it against a positive masculinity. The fear for kids being raised without father figures ect.

CountDrama · 2014-11-21T18:01:44+00:00

Toxic masculinity:

1) narcissism

2) inability to compromise

3) an impulsive need to use violence as a way to resolve conflicts

4) unwillingness to work with others

5) controlling and agressive behavior

6) self worth derived directly from how many women you can bed

7) the idea that the world should bend to your will for simply existing

8) lashing out during emotional state

9) lack of empathy for others

10) excessive pride

Toxic femininity:

1) constant helplessness

2) doormat like behavior

3) constant need of approval from others

4) self worth derived directly from external validation (example: you need to have someone tell you you are INSERT WHATEVER CHARACTERISTIC HERE or else you don't think you are)

5) lack of ambition to excel at things outside of said gender role even though you have an interest in it

6) dumbing yourself down

7) backhanded behavior (includes excessive gossiping, backstabbing, tearing others down emotionally, picking on other's weaknesses, etc.)

8) princess syndrome

9) inability to voice any type of opinion and impulsive meekness

10) excessive sloth

namae_nanka · 2014-11-21T14:14:40+00:00

They're toxic outside of their proper spheres.

FollowThisAdvice · 2014-11-21T11:48:48+00:00

I havent heard the expression. Presumably its self-imposed sexism to your own detriment, like being a man and bottling up your emotions because its the "manly" thing to do, or being a woman and not standing up for yourself or being assertive because you want to be more "feminine"

Those_Who_Remain · 2014-11-21T15:12:59+00:00

I'd say gender roles are 'toxic' when people feel like they actively have to act a certain way or suppress certain behaviours because that's what their 'role' is.

It's funny to see how gay people can 'break' their gender roles and nobody will be surprised about it. It's one of the only 'benefits' to that. I'm a feminine man and that suits me just fine. I hope that straight people can also break these gender roles without weird reactions in the near future.

Reginleifer · 2014-11-21T13:00:49+00:00

It's one of those feminist buzzwords that don't really mean anything..... but is used to describe everything like Patriarchy or "rape-culture".

Normally spammed after a school shooting or some bullshit domestic abuse incident to perpetuate the false idea that they're oppressed.

Every society has expectations of it's members, every society has standards......feminists don't like the standards so they call them "toxic" or "problematic" (one of their newer buzzwords).

Ignatius_Oh_Reilly · 2014-11-22T21:50:24+00:00

No such thing

Plugawy_Nedznik · 2014-11-23T06:15:08+00:00

"Toxic" is a meaningless buzzword.

XYEaQMZJvS · 2014-11-22T02:12:25+00:00

/r/TheRedPill

Title	Define toxic masculinity/femininity.
Author	wazzup987
Upvotes	7
Comments	96
Date	November 21, 2014 11:21 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/2mz5xf/define_toxic_masculinityfemininity/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/define-toxic-masculinityfemininity.284307 https://theredarchive.com/post/284307

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