~ archived since 2018 ~

Feedback from ended relationships

LongDongBlackKong · 2016-11-29T05:00:23+00:00

All right so when a relationship ends, and it wasn't you who ended it, do you like to get a reason why it ended? Or not, and move on? I personally have...

LongDongBlackKong

November 29, 2016

3 upvotes

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Post Information

Title	Feedback from ended relationships
Author	LongDongBlackKong
Upvotes	3
Comments	99
Date	November 29, 2016 5:00 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/5fgrrb/feedback_from_ended_relationships/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/feedback-from-ended-relationships.271608 https://theredarchive.com/post/271608

Comments

[–]madscientistlove 7 points7 points7 points 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

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[–]LongDongBlackKong[S] 4 points5 points6 points 9 years ago (49 children) | Copy Link

[–]LewisCross 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago* (48 children) | Copy Link

[–]SmurfESmurferson6 points7 points8 points 9 years ago (13 children) | Copy Link

Since no one else is taking you up on it, here are a list of reasons not related to sex that gals in my friend group dumped guys.

(Please note that many of these women had expressed disappointment that they had to let good sex go, despite these reasons)

He kept an Excel chart of her weight, and the dogs' weights
He was a Patriots fan
He got black out drunk every weekend and had rage drunks
His family was "Family," with ties to the Jimmie Hoffa debacle
He was obsessed with a "platonic" female friend
He wanted kids, she couldn't have them
She found him letting his dog lick PB off his junk
He went through her social media accounts, phone, and email
He cheated
He wasn't interested in sex with her more often than once every 3 months

The list goes on and on, and doesn't have anything to do with tingles.

[–]LewisCross 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

•He kept an Excel chart of her weight, and the dogs' weights

She lost attraction because of his obsession with her weight and weights of animals. Sperg. women aren't attracted to Aspies.

•He was a Patriots fan

Lost attraction because of differing team loyalties. I've seen breakups because of this all the time. It's also a neat cover for "I just don't like fucking him."

•He got black out drunk every weekend and had rage drunks

Easy. This is quite pussy drying. Guys who'd rather drink and then get emotional when drunk are pussy parching.

•His family was "Family," with ties to the Jimmie Hoffa debacle

Lost attraction, pussy drying because she didn't want to end up dead or her kids to end up dead

•He was obsessed with a "platonic" female friend

Lost attraction or none to begin with. The man is essentially a woman himself, what with his obsession with a platonic female friend.

•He wanted kids, she couldn't have them

Lost attraction because he wanted children; she felt guilty about being unable to have them. Guilt dries up pussies.

•She found him letting his dog lick PB off his junk

Repulsive. And pussy parching. No woman alive would continue fucking a guy after that. Most women would break up with Brad Pitt if he was caught letting a dog lick his junk, no matter what reason there was for it.

•He went through her social media accounts, phone, and email

He's a bitch. He's female minded. Pussy parching.

•He cheated

Pussy dried up a long time ago. He likely cheated because she wasn't sleeping with him. Or, he cheated with an uggo, causing her pussy to dry up.

•He wasn't interested in sex with her more often than once every 3 months

Pussy drying. He's an asexual, neuter, male. He doesn't inspire tingles, or if he did before, he wouldn't after a near complete lack of interest in sex. Women EXPECT men to want to fuck, so they get repulsed by men who don't want to fuck.

[–]ArthurMacArthur 7 points8 points9 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

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[–]ozymandias271That's not how evolution works.5 points6 points7 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

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[–]Atlas_B_Shruggin🔪Yeetus that Feetus🔪7 points8 points9 points 9 years ago* (20 children) | Copy Link

ok i hate to play the "what about me game" but in fact this ha sNOT been the reason i broke up with any of my three exes. i think youre beta male solipsism is SO strong that you cantunderstand the downside of "too much alpha" traits or too LITTLE beta comfort, not too much. i never lost attraction to my ex fiancee, we were engaged with rings and a license. he finally went on his last 3 day bender and i changed the locks on him. i couldnt take his drinking anymore. similar with all my other exes, it was never loss of attraction it was eventual lack of comfort. the balance cant swing too far in the other direction either

you cant tell ME i lost attraction, i know MY feelings. you dotn understand that "too much alpha" doesnt make women "lose attraction", it makes them want to commit suicide. eventually you cant take it anymore even though youre still attracted to them

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[–]chasingstatueszion was part of the matrix2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (17 children) | Copy Link

I think that, most often, attraction is actually the reason why women wait to end relationships and allow them to go on longer than they should. It's the reason they stay when they stay when they should leave, until the reasons they should leave stack up enough against them.

This is definitely true for younger people. Young people don't know enough about themselves, compatibility, compromise, or long-term commitment to form a stable relationship. Their relationships are more often based in attraction than anything else, and attraction creates illusions that you kind of project onto that other person about who they are. Then the love they feel is based on those illusions.

So then, after some time passes, they find themselves stuck with someone they have nothing in common with and don't even really like all that much. The attraction is still there in the end, but the illusions they had about that person are gone. That's why ending relationships when you're young is really difficult and devastating for some people, especially with "first loves" and all that. You don't want to break up with them, because the attraction that made you feel like you loved them is still there, but there are too many reasons not to stay that are forcing your hand.

Basically, it's a part of growing up where you realize that love and attraction are not enough justification to stay in a relationship or to make a doomed relationship work. Compatibility is of equal importance.

[–]LewisCross 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (16 children) | Copy Link

[–]ArthurMacArthur 4 points5 points6 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

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[–]ArthurMacArthur 3 points4 points5 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Atlas_B_Shruggin🔪Yeetus that Feetus🔪3 points4 points5 points 9 years ago* (11 children) | Copy Link

why would a woman to whom men she was attracted too came regularly and easily like busses on a schedule feel this way? you cant see this is male solipsism?

please dont read any of my comments as antagonistic, i genuinely want to engage and understand where youre coming from. your rigid adherence to hueristics as 100% absolute truths is what everyone argues with. this is what its like to me: a man reads several books on IQ and finds of blacks have an average of 85 IQ, he forms a stereotype that ALL blacks in 100% of the cases have 85 IQs. he meets Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas and announces to him that he has an 85 iq because he is black, couldnt have gone to law school and therefore its not possible he is a supreme court justice.

youre stereotypes are correct heuristics, i dont disagree with them at all as generalizations. but im asking you honestly directyl, in a friendly noncombative tone and a spirit of charity--do you think youre possibly missing the alpha males experience of the world and the experiences of the women they date/LTR from your framework? its true, most men are betas, but at the some time from the WOMENS end, most non gross women have been put throught the MILL by an "alpha" at least once in her life, why deny this is real?

[–]LewisCross 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago* (10 children) | Copy Link

[–]Atlas_B_Shruggin🔪Yeetus that Feetus🔪2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

[–]LewisCross 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

[–]Atlas_B_Shruggin🔪Yeetus that Feetus🔪2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

i mean not to take ADVICE from women because female advice will serve the female imperative not th emale, not to NEVER listen to women describe their own experience of relationships and take them into ACCOUNT, not believe them as gospel

what im saying is, when women break up with men when they HAVENT lost attraction (which they do) it is BECAUSE they have displayed too much "bad alpha" which doesnt mean they ar ebad men. or quite often substance abuse problems that become unmanageable and intolerable irrespective of attraction. you are 100% right that women stay in bad relationships WAY TOO LONG directly becaus eof attraction, all im saying is that in many if not most cases of this, she doesnt finally end it because she lost attraction but because of other factors

a "good" man can display so little beta comfort to a woman that she feels like dying, she stays attracted to him, wants to please him but finds she cant, continues to love him, but SHE is dying inside. this can often become the less common case where a woman cheats for comfort rather than for alpha, for example

im never ever ever saying your generally wrong, everything you say is 100% generically true and i agree with you, again, im only trying to say that i think you have a blindspot with regard to how LTRs with more alpha rather than beta males are and im trying to fill in that experience for you to take into account

[–]LewisCross 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

not to NEVER listen to women describe their own experience of relationships and take them into ACCOUNT, not believe them as gospel

Candidly I find that a lot of what women describe of their own experiences with relationships is hamstering, rationalization, and reported in such a way as to cast her in the best possible light and cast the man in the worst possible light so as to blame him and exonerate herself. I find such reports to be unreliable for the most part unless they can be independently verified, which most of the time, they can't.

when women break up with men when they HAVENT lost attraction (which they do) it is BECAUSE they have displayed too much "bad alpha" which doesnt mean they ar ebad men. or quite often substance abuse problems that become unmanageable and intolerable irrespective of attraction.

it happens. Just doesn't happen very often. And it doesn't happen nearly as often as many women on this sub seem to believe it does.

[–]Atlas_B_Shruggin🔪Yeetus that Feetus🔪0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

Candidly I find that a lot of what women describe of their own experiences with relationships is hamstering, rationalization, and reported in such a way as to cast her in the best possible light and cast the man in the worst possible light so as to blame him and exonerate herself

i dotn disagree with this, i however feel i can tell the difference between when women are doing this and when theyre not. most women wont paint an honest picture of a bad relationship pand explain that she staye dbecause she was so hot for him she overlooked everythign else because it paints her in a bad light. when you see a woman doing this, you may have found the honest woman

it happens. Just doesn't happen very often

it does though. almost every ATTRACTIVE woman has experienced a man with too much alpha in her youth in particular. in any given town and time it wa sprobably the same guy they experienced it with too lol

[–]LewisCross2 points 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

she staye dbecause she was so hot for him she overlooked everythign else because it paints her in a bad light. when you see a woman doing this, you may have found the honest woman

I have never once heard a woman say anything like this. I have met women who have been in high alpha asshole/low beta comfort relationships. What they SAY about those relationships and why they ended and why they broke up with those men are something like the following

--"He was a total asshole dickbag and didn't treat me right"

--"I stayed with him because I was afraid I'd never find another man like him"

--"I stayed because I was afraid I'd be alone for the rest of my life"

--"I did everything I could to make that relationship work. I did everything; he did nothing"

and looking at those statements and reading between the lines, what comes out is

"I stayed because I was attracted to him and decided to ignore the bad shit"

The closest I've ever heard a woman come to the truth about that kind of a relationship was (paraphrasing):

--"I stayed with him because I loved him and cared about him and had kids with him and I was fucked up myself because I had a drinking problem, so I left because I needed to fix my own shit and one of us was going to die if someone didn't fix their shit and I didn't want it to be me"

[–]sunkindonut1491 point 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

this. I don't think the CC is a bad thing necessarily. I don't think the CC is a new thing either within modern, urban society. i think that people do have positive experiences even if they are alpha widows. I don't have a problem with Anaise Nin etc.

a lot of people are drawn to others simply by the heat of their loins and that's all.

I have a few buddies (men and women) who opened up about their CC experience in their youth - this is not a bad thing. It takes a certain psychological constitution, a strength of character, to get into the world of promiscuity.

some high inhibition types like me get into slut shaming, red pill for women, religious prairie muffinism but that is against the idea of agency imo. i do not hate chad or stacy any more than i think r selection is a negative thing.

so much of what we do is reaction as opposed to action. i follow the creed "do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law" and what this means is that you should act and live deliberately like thoreau suggested.

u should not base your life upon reacting to that which happened. but upon action with full understanding of what shapes that whether it's your nature or your nurture.

And let this be his final question: To what purpose am I fitted?

Now that he may clearly understand the nature of this question, and the method of solution, let him study the reasoning of the anatomist who reconstructs an animal from a single bone. To take a simple example.

Suppose, having lived all my life among savages, a ship is cast upon the shore and wrecked. Undamaged among the cargo is a "Victoria." What is its use? The wheels speak of roads, their slimness of smooth roads, the brake of hilly roads.

There is no minutest atom of his composition which can be withdrawn without making him some other than he is; no useless moment in his past. Then what is his future? The "Victoria" is not a wagon; it is not intended for carting hay. So the adept has military genius, or much knowledge of Greek; how do these attainments help his purpose? - Aleister Crowley

[–]LewisCross1 point 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

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I can understand that some people belive you should just be yourself

"Just be yourself" is mostly approaching advice; not life advice.

"I don't know how to approach women and what to say" - "don't worry. Just be yourself and relax."

This doesn't mean that you should never ever change or improve.

This just means that flirting is an innate skill (for most people) and that you should just let go of your anxiety and let your autopilot take charge of the flirting. Your instincts and intuition will know what to do and you don't have to put in some elaborate show or pretend to be into all the shit she likes. By "just being yourself" you have to go with the flow which means noticing her IOIs and another side effect is that you've got to be assertive and confident in order to even show "yourself".

The desired effect is not much different than the IDGAF attitude and abundance mentality.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link