“it” factor can even the field tremendously regardless of status, genetics, money etc.

throwaway164_3 · 2022-08-07T16:20:53+00:00

Kurt Vonnegut has this to say about the harsh nature of reality in Cat’s Cradle

Midget, midget, midget, how he struts and winks, For he knows a man's as big as what he hopes and thinks!

And for a more detailed analysis

The reality for the midget is that he can never be as big as other full-grown adults. It is a simple fact. In other words, it is an unchanging, sad, even "heartbreaking" reality. However, the midget is probably strutting and winking because he has been conditioned to believe that his feeling of self-worth can be equal or greater to any other human. But if the reader analyzes the passage literally, then the midget truly believes that he is of actual physical stature of other full-grown adults.

Lying to the midget, by telling the midget he is as big others if he thinks it so, gives him an illusion of strength and confidence. Thus, the reader understands the "necessity" to lie about reality, especially when it makes someone feel secure and comfortable in their surroundings. However, the lie is equally "impossible" because anyone can see that midget simply is not as big as other people.

In other words, dudes can pretend to have whatever swagger and “it” factor he wants, but ultimately evolutionary biology doesn’t care.

It’s looks/money/status to get you past the chemistry/attraction threshold and then personality for compatibility. No amount of self delusional “it” factor is going to compensate in my opinion.

daddysgotanew · 2022-08-07T16:25:11+00:00

Yea but that’s extremely rare and not many people have it. It’s also not something you can learn. You’re born with it or you aren’t. I’ve only met 2 or 3 people in my entire life that possessed it. It’s ingrained.

GottaPSoBad · 2022-08-07T16:21:41+00:00

This reads more like a CMV than a discussion post, just saying. I'll discuss though.

This is kinda similar to the confidence debate that was hard here a few days ago. The essential question was "Can behaving with confidence overcome other shortcomings?" You seem to be saying "yes," OP. I'm not saying you're per se wrong, but I think it's more complicated than you make it out to be.

Firstly, there's earned confidence and unearned confidence. Being secure in oneself is great. Being proud of one's capabilities and achievements is fine. Being a braggadocious, arrogant prick to overcompensate for one's own insecurities or weaknesses? Not so good, to put it super mildly.

Secondly, isn't this kinda just a highly contentious and somewhat played out PUA tenet? Again, not saying it's defacto garbage or can't work, but I think a lot of people will see thru the Game in 2022 if someone tries to work them like this. Especially if the performance doesn't match the performer.

IDK. I'm very much a fan of Doing the Work, which I espouse as a combination of self-improvement and using good dating strategy. And acting confident or aloof might well work as a strategy, I fully grant that. I just think it needs to have a solid underpinning beforehand. I'm not turning over a weird rock just cuz it's a weird rock. I'm turning over a weird rock that I find attractive/enticing in some way.

JapchaeNoddle · 2022-08-07T17:43:19+00:00

I think Charisma ,self care and truly enjoying your life is even better

BitsAndBobs304 · 2022-08-07T16:25:18+00:00

so in other words, be or pretend to be a dark triad man.

Pilling_it · 2022-08-07T19:14:45+00:00

If you can behave/carry yourself in such a way that implies you got something more than what others can perceive on the surface, natural intrigue will take over; especially with high tier women who ain’t used to being ignored/“upstaged”.

People can feel the difference with proper confidence and faked one usually, especially in 2022. Proper confidence is built upon success, and it takes a bit of it to start the virtous loop.

If it wasn't the case, there wouldn't be as many people struggling with it.

TheRedPillRipper · 2022-08-07T19:27:28+00:00

that implies you got something more than what others can perceive

In TRP it’s referred to as faking it until you make it. Ultimately though, a person still has to make it.

Godspeed and good luck!

Sigma_Fang · 2022-08-07T16:23:53+00:00

This. But it's rare, has to be natural. Met a few people like that and they just radiated confidence and light from their eyes. Theyre often genuinely happy and positive and just light up the room.

keepin2002 · 2022-08-07T16:54:40+00:00

“It” factor is nothing but an excuse to reject someone

warramite · 2022-08-07T16:47:23+00:00

All those qualities are what makes someone have an "It factor" though? If you're famous, really good looking and tall, royal heritage etc.. you have "It" already

You'll have no shortage of people worshipping the ground you walk on

63daddy · 2022-08-07T16:39:18+00:00

Sounds like coming across as a “high status man” that all the dating coaches used to talk about. (and maybe still do). It’s the same with women spending hours on make up, fashion, their walk, etc. People act on their perception of reality, which may or may not accurately reflect reality.

Magnito-was-right · 2022-08-07T17:11:53+00:00

It does help. I had about 50 social media friends, but had a bunch of different cool hobbies and had a unique style. People actually thought I only had so few social media friends because I was super selective. If I ever sent a message to someone they instantly became my friend. Most told me they thought I was too cool and would be mean so they never would have messaged me first.

sibellita · 2022-08-07T23:56:20+00:00

This sounds like a very complicated way to describe "negging"

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JoeRMD77 · 2022-08-09T02:28:45+00:00

Maybe that's why this cute girl at work keeps staring at me the last few days. I glance at her and then keep going on my way but I can feel her eyes on me until I turn a corner. She's probably used to every man staring her down when one comes past but I purposely avoid doing that so she knows I'm not desperate and I don't want to make it awkward either.

If I catch her staring at me again, she's gonna' get a "Sup".

Title	“it” factor can even the field tremendously regardless of status, genetics, money etc.
Author	iB_Rezzed_Out
Upvotes	12
Comments	47
Date	August 7, 2022 4:08 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/wij9c2/it_factor_can_even_the_field_tremendously/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/it-factor-can-even-the-field-tremendously.1126657 https://theredarchive.com/post/1126657

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