Ladies, how would you describe the difference between being a doormat and being submissive?

Mrs_Drgree · 2023-04-13T09:32:34+00:00

No internal questions

ohdiddly · 2023-04-13T05:20:08+00:00

They mostly mean the same thing to me, at least in the way conservatives describe ‘submissive’.

Which is why I cringe when I hear a man say he wants a ‘submissive woman’. All I hear is that he wants a quiet pushover who won’t stand up for herself. Someone who he can control.

FightMeCthullu · 2023-04-13T06:21:47+00:00

Hmmmm I mean submissive does mean like, obedient or passive to authority/an authority figure so on principle I don’t like the term. It feels too much like a definite or a rule rather than part of a healthy exchange.

With my fiancé, there are absolutely times when he is better equipped for something so I follow his lead, and other times where I’m better equipped so he follows mine, but to me that’s not submission because there’s still room to question and exchange ideas and compromise. I feel like the word submissive doesn’t describe that kind of exchange.

Pola_Lita · 2023-04-13T07:20:08+00:00

A woman can be submissive to a man who not only has her well being in mind but is smart and capable enough to make it a reality.

OTOH, she can be submissive to a man who is missing one or more of these qualities. Then she'll be a doormat. It can't be helped.

That's why submission should always be a choice, not a requirement.

lacuti3 · 2023-04-13T05:09:47+00:00

It’s just letting him have his way more often than not. That’s not really a slave

TermAggravating8043 · 2023-04-13T07:37:36+00:00

To me, submissive is just a nicer way to say doormat

begayallday · 2023-04-13T09:10:50+00:00

On my end there is nothing positive about being submissive. That’s just not my personality to be that way. Easygoing? Sure. Totally willing to compromise, or even center my partner’s wants and needs more often than not? Absolutely. But I also want the same qualities from my partner. For one person to be submissive, the other person needs to be dominant, and that ain’t it for me.

januaryphilosopher · 2023-04-13T09:25:51+00:00

Sometimes it's code and sometimes it isn't. I personally use the word "submissive" mainly to describe someone who's into certain kinks in the bedroom. All of these words could be taken at face value to mean someone who's nice and chill but can still have a spine, but often, especially when applied to women, it means "does what I want". Someone who's submissive outside of the bedroom would be someone who likes to be guided and not the first to make decisions, but can still have equal input (or not) into whether these decisions are in fact made and doesn't need to be afraid to say no. I tend to stay clear of these terms, even if their literal meanings sound good to me in a partner, because they are associated with doormats and I don't want one.

oneblackcoffeeplease · 2023-04-13T06:52:07+00:00

For me personally its basically the same thing

l-otters · 2023-04-13T08:07:32+00:00

'Doormat' is a pejorative slang word for "submissive".

BusinessGarage2606 · 2023-04-13T08:11:12+00:00

It's the same thing, especially when I see conservative or red pill descriptions of it.

riceweight · 2023-04-13T05:37:20+00:00

Doormat: saying “yes” 100% of the time without question. No thoughts head empty. No boundaries. Blindly trusts her man and hasn’t vetted him properly, obeys him because “he’s a man and I find him hot and I crave a dominant man in my life”

Submissive / agreeable: saying “yes, why?” Instead of “no, why?” As the default answer. Eyes wide open, trusts the man enough to not question every decision he makes, but if something isn’t adding up will absolutely step in and ask for his reasoning. Has boundaries. Follows her man’s leadership because he has earned it according to her criteria. A submissive woman’s submission is worth more than gold because she doesn’t give it to anyone — you have to be trustworthy, honest, a man of your word, and capable to lead her and your future family.

“Bitchy” women tend to say “no, why?” As their default answer.

shadowofdoubt13 · 2023-04-13T08:10:04+00:00

Being a doormat: you don’t have boundaries and you’re a pickme ass bitch. Blindly listening to men because you desperately want a boyfriend.

Being submissive: trusting your man and respecting him. Seeing that he’s smart and seeing that he knows what he’s doing, so you listen to him. A submissive woman still has her own mind.

InjectAdrenochrome · 2023-04-13T05:23:33+00:00

Oh the difference between doormat and submissive is huge.

If the guy states he is interested in a sexual dynamic where he's the submissive one... way different than a doormat. He already hooked you in, now he can make requests without a problem.

I'd be super into a submissive guy but not someone who id's as a doormat

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Title	Ladies, how would you describe the difference between being a doormat and being submissive?
Author	Windmill_flowers
Upvotes	5
Comments	29
Date	April 13, 2023 5:02 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/12kco4x/ladies_how_would_you_describe_the_difference/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/ladies-how-would-you-describe-the-difference.1214006 https://theredarchive.com/post/1214006

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