Obsession about looks is delusion

HighlyFlashy · 2023-05-26T18:06:52+00:00

What are you even arguing? I think most people, women and men, can agree that a relationship can not be long lasting based on just looks alone. But looks do matter, and I personally believe they matter before anything else (ie a threshold must be met) because looks are probably the most important thing for sexual attraction and most people don’t want to be in a relationship where the sexual component is missing. That’s a friendship.

Cjaylyle · 2023-05-26T18:50:34+00:00

Its going to hit some naive people like a sledgehammer when in 5 to 10 years time the instagram generation are mass divorcing each other because of fading looks

Enflamed-Pancake · 2023-05-26T22:20:59+00:00

Looks aren’t all that matters, but without looks you’re going to have a much harder time. It’s like applying for the job - how you come across in an actual interview is more important than your CV, but a poor CV makes landing those interviews way more difficult.

For those people outside the club looking in, their appearance is likely a relevant (but not complete) component of the equation, that unless they have a fantastic personality, can be difficult to compensate for. Not impossible, but there’s no denying it makes the game easier.

bitcoinisbubble · 2023-05-26T19:22:39+00:00

This is BS. Looks are extremely important. Just because they're not the ONLY thing that matter, doesn't mean that they are not extremely important. I wouldn't rent an apartment without a bathroom, and the bathroom is not the only that matters, I still look at the kitchen, living room, etc. But without a bathroom, the chance of me renting it is 0. Unless, the rent is crazyyyy cheap, (maybe like $400/mo) then I might consider compromising.

We can observe this with the many physical traits people look for in dating, and then how people can "make up" for it if they lack those traits but are exceptional in other areas like being rich (analogous to the extremely low rent benefit).

SmallishBiGuy · 2023-05-27T06:58:19+00:00

A man's height is part of the looks equation, and a woman's level of body fat (and/or how it is distributed) is also part of looks. In my opinion, those things frequently make or break opportunities for people.

There's some wiggle room where being gifted in some other areas can offset height or body fat, but.... in my opinion that happens for a small percentage of short men / heavy women.

Mr_Chad_Thunderpenis · 2023-05-28T07:24:24+00:00

Looks is step 1. What you're describing is step 2, step 3, step 4 etc. But if you can't get past step 1, all of that is pointless. So what are you arguing here exactly?

OpticalEpilepsy · 2023-05-26T19:00:37+00:00

I wouldn't say it's delusion I would say its pacification. Incels need success with women to be luck (height, jaw, face) so their failure to have romantic interactions with women appears to be bad luck not incompetence or unambition.

Loud_Definition6669 · 2023-05-26T19:12:19+00:00

Looks might "fade" but there are plenty of comely, if not sexy people up to their 60s. And none of them were ugly in their 20s. Looks fading and changing over time doesn't cause people to regress to the mean. If anything, good genetics and bone structure become more important once the glimmer of youth fades.

This-Adhesiveness-52 · 2023-05-26T21:01:55+00:00

Looks are everything, can’t get my dick hard if the girl is not young, skinny and has a cute face. I want a fresh body, young girls 18 to 25 years max, body needs to be in good shape and no bad smell. Tight everything, pussy, boobs and ass.

I want to feel horny when i fuck, you understand?? Inner beauty does not get dicks hard!!! Having a fat, old or ugly women having to suck you’re dick for 30 min first to get hard and then lose you’re erection after 10 min because she is not hot. Having to fuck with the lights out, fantasizing you’re fucking a model is not fun!!! Having to take erection pills because you’re once beautifull wife turned into a cow is not fun.

Preme2 · 2023-05-26T19:34:15+00:00

The whole point in dating is to get to know someone and fall in love with them.

Damn, I couldn’t even make it past the first sentence. Who says this is what dating is all about? Dating is all about finding a woman, getting comfortable then pumping and dumping her. Love? I’m not interested in that. If we’re dating, we might go to a restaurant or do an activity together, but that’s about it. Casual fling. Trick a fee Becky’s, rotate and spin plates. Isn’t that what dating is all about? - Chad

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MarBitt · 2023-05-26T19:18:08+00:00

Looks are only a fraction, but necessary if this is to be a relationship with sexual attraction and not a platonic friendship.

Also, if someone does not pass the appearance threshold, there is usually no point in continuing, appearance is the first thing you perceive about the other person and what motivates you to be more interested. So it's understandable that looks are the first thing most people talk about when talking about dating.

Moreover, no, the whole point of dating is not to know someone and fall in love with them. Not for everyone. For some, it's meeting someone to have sex with. Or who they will start a family with. Falling in love is a frequent and popular part, but not always the main goal.

I agree that looks fade in the long run. But that's not entirely an argument against taking looks into account at the beginning. Because if you choose someone who from the beginning is on the edge of what you are able to accept and then he gains weight, it can be worse than if you keep a healthy reserve. Few people want to have a relationship without sex.

RocinanteCoffee · 2023-05-26T21:30:58+00:00

I'd rather be alone than with someone I'm not physically attracted to. Also I would dump anyone if I found out they were only with me for my personality and didn't find me attractive.

grendalor · 2023-05-26T22:11:31+00:00

I think the disconnect people are having with what you've written is the suggestion that people don't focus on the physical connection before getting into compatibility assessments. The reason is that it doesn't really work if you do it the other way. That is, if you are not attracted to someone (and not just kinda sorta, but if you're not hot for them), it isn't going to develop later on if you end up being compatible with them after getting to know them better, and you may end up with someone you only have so-so attraction for (and/or vice versa), which tends to be really bad for the marriage, because sex is, for many people at least, one of the core aspects of a marriage that has to be very satisfying in order for the marriage to thrive and succeed. This is why people generally run the screening in the opposite order -- start with screening out for people you are hot for, then if they do the same and you're both still there, assess for compatibility. If it isn't also there, you move on. That way you always end up with someone you are hot for and compatible with, instead of ending up with someone you are compatible with but not hot for.

BaobabOFFCL · 2023-05-27T12:45:48+00:00

False

nicoleberry16 · 2023-05-28T05:21:22+00:00

Well yeah ofc looks aren't everything, but they are pretty important at least to me. I mean it's the difference between who I consider a potential "boyfriend" as opposed to just a friend. Looks get your foot through the door. If I don't feel any sexual attraction then I'm not dating you bye

James_Cruse · 2023-07-20T08:27:08+00:00

This is guilting men saying that looks don’t matter because they fade so might as well date a woman that doesn’t look that great to begin with (pick me! - the author lol)

Do you even know why men choose women based on looks first and everything else second?

Title	Obsession about looks is delusion
Author	Orangematcha
Upvotes	5
Comments	51
Date	May 26, 2023 6:01 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/13sk3hd/obsession_about_looks_is_delusion/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/obsession-about-looks-is-delusion.1220455 https://theredarchive.com/post/1220455

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