Which is why a lot of answers don’t line up.

People discuss what makes people attractive, what’s right and wrong within the context of a relationship, how the wider dynamic of the dating landscape should be seen or managed, values, principles, etc etc.

If you’re sat on your lunch break or in bed or on a long car ride etc, you sit and read a Reddit thread, consider a question, take pause and think about what you should say, what’s right, and in some cases what sounds smart, with the luxury of a disconnect from emotion and urgency. Your emotions are not being stoked, you’re not immersed in an immediate situation. You’re not being faced with the complexities and nuance of a personal scenario where your actions and feelings couldn’t possibly be explained or maybe even justified within the confines of a Reddit comment.

Men and women answer and ask questions on here with the safety net and benefit of a vacuum of emotion and impulse. It grants us the ability to answer intellectually and maybe even with some self awareness and review our own opinions and that of others analytically.

The problem is that this does not line up with reality.

A person may claim on Reddit not to be drawn to physical attractive people. They may claim to find no value in a one night stand. They may claim to believe in and uphold values of which they swear not only they but the majority of their gender would uphold if faced with any given scenario that may compromise them. They answer with reason and consideration and may fully intend to promote what they consider strong moral values.

Then a week later the right cocktail of circumstances and emotions and events line up and they find themselves in a situation with a very attractive person who is exactly the sort of person their logical rational and principled mind claimed to never be drawn to and literally have sex with them within an hour of meeting them and wake up the next day thinking….what??? That’s not me, right?

My point is everyone of both genders will post and comment on here, present themselves a certain way and truly believe what their rational intellectually engaged mind is typing, whilst also having the potential to turn around and act in total contradiction to what they’ve said or claimed.

It makes discussing attraction borderline futile, and words and actions and reason and reality often do not line up. Attraction is an emotional cocktail, and you never really know how you’re going to behave when you experience it strongly.

This sub is almost like a bunch of people claiming that they’d never act a certain way whilst drunk, whilst sat there typing stone cold sober. In reality, when half of you go and get intoxicated, everything you said and thought of yourself flies right out the window whether you believe it will or not, which is why what a lot of people observe and experience of people doesn’t line up with what everyone says about themselves and their peers on Reddit.