[Q4M] Do you censor yourself when feeling vulnerable if the recipient of a discussion is female?

Supernumiphone · 2020-01-09T14:34:18+00:00

Male: Always and absolutely. Even men who care about you are awkward about shit like this.

Women: Only if I want to fuck her. Women hate weak men.

2020-01-09T15:03:24+00:00

I didn't used to, I used to buy into this BS about sharing your feelz.

After practicing meditation for a while, I learnt to just observe my feelings and let them go.

This meant I stopped talking about feelz as much and stopped being controlled by them as much (obviously I still have them).

Now I am generally calmer and happier.

The result of this is its easier to talk to people as they are a lot more receptive and respond better.

No-one wants to hear stuff from people that makes them feel like shit.

reluctantly_red · 2020-01-09T15:10:16+00:00

Why is this even a question? Its NEVER a good idea to discuss feelings of vulnerability.

When a guy becomes truly vulnerable he can just wander off into the woods to be eaten by wolves (I'm only half kidding).

whyserenity · 2020-01-09T15:25:56+00:00

Yes, what I say is always filtered, regardless of who I speak to. I know how melodramatic this sounds, but I've had some low points in my life and suicide crossed my mind before opening up to friends/family did.

sadomasochrist · 2020-01-09T16:17:05+00:00

I learned this lesson early with a woman I told about what I thought was a small gaffe. She responded quickly and abruptly that she was blown away that I had lost my cool like that and immediately it was apparent my image of her was destroyed.

Then I forgot about it and shared problems in my life and almost lost my family.

So let's see how long it takes me to forget this and fuck up my life. It looks like about once every 15 years I forget this.

2020-01-09T15:09:30+00:00

Yes. All day. For everyone, regardless of gender. A vulnerable man is targeted man.

Gravel_Roads · 2020-01-09T14:39:23+00:00

If I don't know someone well, I don't care what their gender is, I will be censoring myself. Especially if I am feeling vulnerable.

persianexmuzzie · 2020-01-09T15:00:17+00:00

Nope I don't censor anything I say about anything.

Workaholiconew · 2020-01-09T18:14:18+00:00

I never show vulnerability to women, it is asking for trouble. Many here seem to think it just affects the sexual view, but truth be told, it affects all relationships, not even a adult son can show vulnerability to his mother without her view of the son decreasing. Women cannot see any adult male vulnerable and have a good relationship with him.

I may show vulnerability to male close friends, men are usually very awkward to strangers being vulnerable, but very helpful when it is someone close. Those are the only real friends that is.

I also sometimes show vulnerability to my lesbian friends, I know it affects our relationship but sometimes I need it, like mourning someone's death. I don't intent on fucking them, so it is fine.

bonusfruit · 2020-01-10T02:40:32+00:00

Never express fear, insecurity, uncertainty or grief to a woman. She will punish you for it. Simple lesson.

NeedingAdvice86 · 2020-01-09T14:48:36+00:00

I don't understand what the deal is with people on Reddit who talk about being vulnerable, spilling feelings and communicating your emotions all the time.

This just isn't something I do, really ever. With my boys or my gf. My GF also doesn't do this either and I don't know if I could be with someone who has the need to have their feelings validated all the time, or shares every thought that comes into their head. It sounds exhausting for the other partner.

Even the idea of communication is way overstated. Best way to resolve a disagreement/conflict is agree to disagree and sleep on it. You'll wake up the next day thinking it was silly.

rus9384 · 2020-01-09T14:32:14+00:00

I am an anti-censorship person.

ShinCasshern · 2020-01-09T14:33:16+00:00

Except with my trusted friends, yes.

Barely-moral · 2020-01-09T15:44:50+00:00

If the recipient of a discussion is female. Yes. I do censor myself. There is nothing to gain by being honest.

If the recipient of the discussion is male I censor myself unless I trust that man with my life.

binkerfluid · 2020-01-10T11:19:35+00:00

Its been my experience that if I show weakness to a woman she will leave the relationship or even get angry at me for it.

When I was younger I did not believe this of course but experience taught me other wise. You cannot show weakness to a women who are you in a relationship with.

2020-01-09T14:39:30+00:00

No to both but I'm not really the type of person that gets vulnerable. Most I do is vent and then eventually get over it.

lonelinessmademecave · 2020-01-09T16:00:46+00:00

If I’m in polite company, yes, otherwise no. I tend to express myself pretty freely, for the most part. I don’t cater to women’s delusions per how a man “”should”” be,

Million-Suns · 2020-01-09T16:17:09+00:00

Yes, even with men. Unless you're my therapist, you don't get to know my vulnerabilities.

JoremKycoo · 2020-01-09T17:19:22+00:00

Male or female I censor myself depending on how deeply the person knows me. If I know they won't judge me then I wear my emotions on my sleeve.

There are only a few occasions when I just say fuck it and speak my mind to a person I barely know.

Lord_ImperialSurname · 2020-01-09T19:05:45+00:00

Yes. I don't see the point sharing vulnerabilities with women. Only I can solve my own problems.

Based on my experience, if you share with women, bad women will try to blame you (i.e by saying "how can you be so stupid?"), good women will offer support. BUT both women will lose repsect to you.

Mystery_Tragic · 2020-01-10T04:29:51+00:00

All the time.

Though there have been times when some women online have mistaken me sharing part of my life in a text conversation as me showing my vulnerabilities. I mean all I was saying was that "When I was this age blah blah". I wasn't writing a fifty pages on it. Just a couple of sentences on it at most.

And then later they'd go: "Omg it's so exhausting to deal with you I can't even!". And i'd be like wtf?

So now i don't even do that.

theambivalentrooster · 2020-01-09T16:24:09+00:00

You should have enough credit built up with your FEMALE that you can express vulnerability from time to time.

If you are naturally a whiny sad bitch with sad feels all the time that can't handle stress or setbacks then good luck with dry pussy desert women most women don't want to fuck men they have to mother.

Also who told men that it was okay to be a sad baby bitch and share feelings? I guess 'feminists'. But feminists don't care about the sexual side effects of sharing your weakness.

demiurgoxy · 2020-01-09T14:46:26+00:00

Except to my close male friends, otherwise yes... Even to female friends I don't plan to fuck

HarassMyAnger · 2020-01-09T14:50:52+00:00

I censor myself with pretty much everyone except the couple times Im seeing a therapist.

If there's one thing I learned, its that nobody likes a weak man.

goneaway2thewind · 2020-01-09T15:02:04+00:00

Absolutely

2020-01-09T15:21:39+00:00

I used to when younger, but not any more. And it's much better this way.

wub1234 · 2020-01-09T15:47:55+00:00

I don't ever feel vulnerable.

throwawy_12262017 · 2020-01-09T15:48:57+00:00

I flipped the vulnerable switch off a few years ago. So far so good.

goldmedalflower · 2020-01-09T15:59:41+00:00

Depends.

Family, friends then no.
ANY situation where there is (or hopes to be) sexual attraction then you must avoid or else she's done with you.

topofthecentipede · 2020-01-09T16:42:00+00:00

I honestly do if I'm dating someone and it's relatively casual. If we were in a serious LTR or married I wouldn't. That being said, my 3 closest friends are women, and they're a big help if I'm going through something.

bonslytoss · 2020-01-09T17:14:52+00:00

Vulnerability is a weird thing and there's no simple flowchart always-do-this-if-this answer. I mostly just open up when I get the feeling that prompts it and if the person/people I opened up to accept it I make sure to return the favor later.

the-lone-squid · 2020-01-09T18:48:13+00:00

I never feel vulnerable. That's silly.

Why are reddit people obcessed with feelings? Like, that's weird.

lilsaihah · 2020-01-09T19:14:15+00:00

I'll very rarely be open with someone unless they're a good friend, and not someone I'm romantically interested in. Very rarely have I found being open with someone about that sort of thing to be good.

GreenSatyr · 2020-01-09T20:05:44+00:00

No I am uncensored and fully open with almost everyone. The only people I would ever put a mask on around are people who hold power over something that involves my interests (for example a boss) or people who interact with people who have such power. So long as a person holds no power over my interests I don't have much of a filter from my mouth to my brain.

Friends or partners don't hold that sort of power, so I can be totally open around them. Unless I was going to say something mean, I guess I do still self censor for diplomacy. In that case the feelings of the other person fall under "my interests".

CHAD_TDK · 2020-01-09T21:43:50+00:00

recipient of a discussion???

A discussion is something that 2 or more people engage in, all peers, nobody is the "recipient".

Care to re-word the questions?

yoyohoto · 2020-01-10T00:04:21+00:00

I am only vulnerable with my tight niche circle but when I use to date women I dont show it at all. I learned never show a woman you vulnerable and insecurities . Because when she gets pissed that exactly where she will hit you and hit you hard she will.

PapaPinyun · 2020-01-10T05:25:39+00:00

Generally I level with anyone around me and it never occurs to me to police my speech for anything, except trigger words that hurt the feelings of people I care about. Like there are people I won't say "retarded" around- incidentally I could imagine wanting to have sex with them.

DontTouchTheCancer · 2020-01-10T16:06:23+00:00

After interacting with /r/AskWomen and its moderation people, I completely understand a lot of the misogyny that goes down amongst young people and why they feel they would need to censor their every word.

Never seen a group of people more looking for injury and insult in every word.

The good news is, most women are not like those women, and when women like that show their hand - it's good news because it means you avoid the fuck out of them. Don't date, hire, promote, or give house room to anyone who disrespects and devalues your opinion.

decoy88 · 2020-01-11T11:02:09+00:00

No. I try to keep it it 100% most of the time.

I believe that secrets and deep hidden feelings make us more vulnerable. The less you’re worried about being exposed, the less power anyone has over you.

That said. Still human. So close things I only share with close friends regardless of gender

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diffdedbed · 2020-01-09T17:54:12+00:00

Why do men in 2019 want to talk about their insecurities so badly?

Title	[Q4M] Do you censor yourself when feeling vulnerable if the recipient of a discussion is female?
Author	Speaker7
Upvotes	19
Comments	61
Date	January 9, 2020 2:30 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/emadog/q4m_do_you_censor_yourself_when_feeling/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4m-do-you-censor-yourself-when-feeling-vulnerable.305782 https://theredarchive.com/post/305782

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