[Q4men] Do you divide housework (including yard work) based on hours worked or salary?

BeyondTheLight · 2018-04-08T11:27:25+00:00

If you’re working 40 hours a week doing from home making $100k and your wife is working 60 hours a week in a office making $50k, do you still expect her to do most of the cooking and cleaning after work? Why or why not?

No I wouldn't expect her to do the same work. First of all she has to work 20 hours more and still has to go through communiting (I assume), which adds another 1-2 hours to the equation. I might as well pick up the work, especially because I actually have a home office. It also really helps that I enjoy cooking and keeping things clean. Not to mention that I don't trust most people to do it right to begin with.

If you’re a nurse making $90k a year and your wife is in Med school making $0 a year, do you still expect her to do most of the housework? Why or why not?

In this situation (assuming that I am not the starter husband ha) I wouldn't mind doing a good chunk of the work, especially when I know that my theoretical wife was going to be a surgeon or something cool like that (nice status boost at that). Not to mention that the salary she would bring isn't too marginal either, then again one of the reasons why I am so comfortable with the idea is that I would still be making a similar salary passively anyway, so there is no way for me to feel emasculated anyway.

If you’re both working the same job making the same salary, are you willing to split the housework?

Sure. Why not. Two persons get more things done afterall.

darla10 · 2018-04-08T12:23:07+00:00

These calculations aren’t going to work. Some will value time, some will value money, some will value half assed housework.

I supported my first husband financially and the House was still a mess when I got home. I had to do the lions share of the housework. He was a great cook though.

My second husband is a bit OCD. He can’t stand a fork left in the sink. He has these habits around he house; always on the move, always grabbing an object that doesn’t belong from one room before walking into another room. He gets home from work and just starts unloading the dishwasher while staring at me with a big smile. Doesn’t even remove his coat until it’s empty. I adopted this system very quickly. We have never had a fight about chores.

Basically I’m always trying to catch up to him. He’s like a machine.

Triadis3 · 2018-04-08T05:43:29+00:00

Part of becoming a self-actualized redpill husband is the notion that everything in your purview is ultimately your responsibility. You are the captain of your own life.

If you have a competent first officer, then you can delegate, and if she is officer quality, she'll independently do what needs to be done without instruction.

The theory is that as captain of your ship, if she fell overboard tomorrow would the ship sink?

So, as a red guy, I think the question is asinine. Tit for tat is playground level logic. Why should you be keeping score?

Maikowski2 · 2018-04-08T05:30:18+00:00

When you look for job are you looking for the job who has most hours or most pay? That's your answer. Money is value, not your hours.

handklap · 2018-04-08T10:24:52+00:00

Interesting question.

If a man is earning $100K/year and works 40 hours/week should he do the same amount of housework as his wife who earns $30,000/year but also works 40 hours/week..... I think... it should be split equally based on the 40 hours. However, if she worked part time, she definitely should be doing more.

wtknight · 2018-04-08T13:42:40+00:00

I would divide it based upon hours worked. If there are men who divide it based upon salary and their SO earns less than them and they expect her to do more housework, then they shouldn't be surprised if she divorces, cheats or branch swings.

randomcarrotaf · 2018-04-08T08:48:04+00:00

Female but i devide housework by "it needs to be done, who has time/energy to do it?" i wont start calculating just to clean the floor once and i dont see why it should be necessary in a loving relationship

Pope_Lucious · 2018-04-08T17:53:54+00:00

It’s proportionate to financial contributions to the relationship costs. If he’s paying 100% of the bills, she’s doing 100% of the housework. If it’s 50% then it should be 50/50.

Of course there’s wiggle room depending on each situation. You have to negotiate it out.

I actually like cooking, so I wouldn’t mind doing that even if I provided 100% financially.

The notion that it should be based on hours worked is a bad idea IMO. Not all work is created equal.

DaphneDK42 · 2018-04-08T05:17:26+00:00

No. I couldn't care less how much she works or how much money she makes, but I am not doing housework. She has the option not to be with me or doing housework.

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crackrocksteady7 · 2018-04-08T05:23:09+00:00

If I need some stupid metric for "see because x,y,z It's only fair that you have to cook tonight" she's way too confrontational for me and I'm out

Dubslav_von_Chekem · 2018-04-08T15:05:18+00:00

She's doing the housework. I'm charge here.

mgtow_1 · 2018-04-08T20:22:52+00:00

Never sat down and divided it up before. Just got things done that needed done. I did have a GF once complain she was doing to much. We sat down and went over who did what in the last month, and after that she stopped complaining.

Workchoices · 2018-04-08T23:15:34+00:00

How are you calculating "housework" done?

Per task or hours spent?

Because I feel that men are far more efficient at most housework then women.

I mow the yard? Takes 1.5hrs maybe 2hrs with edging. She does it? 4-5hrs.

I cook a Jamie Oliver 30min meal, takes me 45mins max. Takes her 2hrs.

Vaccuming, putting shit away, the grocery shopping, it seems that because im stronger, faster and have more stamina that every task is much quicker.

So when women say that on average they do 20hrs of housework a week and men only do 5hrs (or whatever the latest figures happen to be) really that man is accomplishing the bulk of the work in that time.

Workchoices · 2018-04-08T23:26:00+00:00

I don't think hours worked is necessarily the right metric.

The average woman works a physically undemanding job, like receptionist. Even if she works a 40hr week for $30k plus a longcommute.

Her husband works a 30hr week for $70k hauling bricks with a 5min commute. Back breaking labor.

He is non stop busting his ass until 3pm when he can go home and have a beer, whilst Stacey is chatting to her friends at the watercooler and occasionally answering the phone. Is it really fair to then expect him to do most of the housework?

Whose job is really harder? Money is not the perfect assessor of whose job is harder, but it has to be better than simply hours worked.

mistercheeez-o____O- · 2018-04-18T23:59:03+00:00

If you’re working 40 hours a week doing from home making $100k and your wife is working 60 hours a week in a office making $50k, do you still expect her to do most of the cooking and cleaning after work? Why or why not?

No. I would be around to clean so I would probably do it more. If I'm at home most often, I'm probably cleaning up after myself anyway. No matter how good your salary is, you can't live off of takeaway so the same logic follows for cooking eh?

If you’re a nurse making $90k a year and your wife is in Med school making $0 a year, do you still expect her to do most of the housework? Why or why not?

Depends.

If you’re both working the same job making the same salary, are you willing to split the housework?

Of course. Learning to be orderly was extremely important to me. I don't think they'll be much cleaning to do anyway. I pick up after myself fairly well.

Title	[Q4men] Do you divide housework (including yard work) based on hours worked or salary?
Author	coolgirl2021
Upvotes	1
Comments	209
Date	April 8, 2018 5:09 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/8any4e/q4men_do_you_divide_housework_including_yard_work/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4men-do-you-divide-housework-including-yard-work.262972 https://theredarchive.com/post/262972

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