Request for Definition What the fuque is a "nice guy"

Valuable_Passion4938 · 2021-12-13T15:48:18+00:00

Are you taking about the self proclaimed nice guy or the actual nice guy

MuddyFilter · 2021-12-12T23:47:50+00:00

[permanently deleted]

LackOf_Empathy · 2021-12-12T23:40:01+00:00

Credit: No More Mr. Nice guy book.

NICE GUYS are everywhere:
He is the relative who lets his wife run the show.
He is the buddy who will do anything for anybody, but who's my own life seems to be in shambles.
He is the guy who frustrates his wife or girlfriend because he is so afraid of conflict that nothing ever gets resolved.
He is the boss who tells one person what they want to hear, then reverses himself to please someone else.
He is the man who lets people walk all over him because he doesn't want to rock the boat.
He is the dependable guy at church or the club who will never say “no," and would never tell anyone if they were imposing on him.
Characteristics of Nice Guys: Every Nice Guy is unique, but all have a cluster of similar characteristics Nice Guys seem to possess a significant number.
Nice Guys are givers. Nice Guys frequently state that it makes them feel good to give to others. These men believe their generosity is a sign of how good they are and will make other people love and appreciate them.
Nice guy's fix and caretaker. If a person has a problem, has a need, is angry, depressed or sad, Nice Guys will frequently attempt to solve or fix the situation (usually without being asked).
Nice Guys seek approval from others. A universal trait of the Nice Guy Syndrome is the seeking of validation from others. To gain someone's approval and avoid disapproval.
Nice Guys avoid conflict. Nice Guys seek to keep their world smooth. To do this, they avoid doing things that might rock the boat or upset anyone.
Nice Guys believe they must hide their perceived flaws and mistakes.
Nice Guys seek the "right" way to do things. They are convinced that if they can only figure out the right way to do everything, nothing should ever go wrong.
Nice Guys tend to analyze rather than feel. They may see feelings as a waste of time and energy. They frequently try to keep their feelings on an even keel.
Nice Guys often try to be different from their fathers.
Nice Guys are often more comfortable relating to women than to men. Nice Guys frequently seek the approval of women and convince themselves they are different from other men.
Nice Guys have difficulty making their needs a priority. These men often feel that it is selfish to put their needs first.
Nice Guys often make their partner their emotional center. Many Nice Guys report that they are only happy if their partner is happy.
Nice guys are often anything but nice people. Here are some not-so-nice traits of Nice Guys:
Nice Guys are dishonest. These men hide their mistakes, avoid conflict, say what they think people want to hear and repress their feelings. These traits make Nice Guys fundamentally dishonest.
Nice Guys are secretive. Nice Guys will hide anything that they believe might upset anyone.
Nice Guys are compartmentalized.
Nice Guys are controlling.
Nice Guys give to get. They want to be appreciated, they want some kind of reciprocation.
Nice Guys often report feeling frustrated or resentful as a result of giving so much while seemingly getting so little in return.
Nice Guys are passive-aggressive. Nice Guys tend to express their frustration and resentment in an indirect, roundabout, and not-so-nice ways and repeat the same annoying behaviors even when they have promised to never do them again.
Nice Guys are full of rage. A lifetime of frustration and resentment creates a pressure cooker of repressed rage deep inside these men
Nice Guys are addictive. One of the most common addictive behaviors for Nice Guys
is sexual compulsiveness.
Nice Guys have difficulty setting boundaries. Many Nice Guys have a hard time saying “no," "stop," or "I'm not going to.” They often feel like helpless victims and see the other.
Nice Guys are frequently isolated. Though Nice Guys desire to be liked and loved, their behaviors actually make it difficult for people to get very close to them.
Nice Guys are often attracted to people and situations that need fixing. This tendency pretty much guarantees that Nice Guys will spend most of their time putting out fires and managing crises.
Nice Guys frequently have problems in intimate relationships.
Nice Guys have issues with sexuality. Though most Nice Guys deny having problems with sex.
Nice Guys are usually only relatively successful. The majority of Nice Guys I've met have been talented, intelligent, and moderately successful. Almost without exception though, they fail to live up to their full potential.

E-2-butene · 2021-12-12T23:51:33+00:00

I think there are basically 2 definitions that kind of get conflated.

One is summarized reasonable well by the post from No More Mr. Nice Guy. These guys are just good, genuine guys. Usually have traits like beings giving and considerate. To the extent they have frustrations with dating, it’s the fact that they are repeatedly assured that being nice is a requirement for women and good guys are the ideal date, yet guys like Henry seem far more successful. I think these guys certainly end relationships with women when their advances are rejected, but it’s largely due to the pain of unrequited as opposed to doing the things for the sole motivation of pussy.

Then there’s the “nice guy” boogie man where guys basically use beta game to try to cynically manipulate women into sleeping with them. I think some of these guys probably exist, but I tend to think they are in the minority.

Ok_Razzmatazz_1751 · 2021-12-13T00:45:54+00:00

Every man I encountered that kept emphasizing that he was a "nice guy" ended up not being so nice. That's my definition of the nice guy. He's really not so nice when he doesn't get what he wants.

Zerofication · 2021-12-13T01:58:47+00:00

"Nice guy" pertains to a male with high Agreeableness (Big Five personality trait) who gets exploited by others.

heyitsjeape · 2021-12-13T14:35:55+00:00

I think it’s just a guy who isn’t a jerk. I guess it’s not always transparent who’s nice and who isn’t immediately but we usually know it when we see it.

quiditplomb · 2021-12-13T16:38:50+00:00

A man who thinks being nice (a basic human trait) entitles them to a partner.

Stunning-Spirit5275 · 2021-12-13T00:45:48+00:00

Demure, risk averse, feminine, people pleaser, pacifist, indecisive,

Do the shadow work. Develop your dark triad.

Women don’t want a nice guy they can strengthen

They want a monster they can tame

nuhuhyoureausername · 2021-12-13T05:48:08+00:00

Fuck knows what it is now but when I was young, saying “you’re a nice guy, I just don’t feel that way about you” was how a woman rejected the advances of a man they were friends with.

What also happened was that - like most people - girls like to let off steam a bit and complain or bitch about their current bf or ex-bfs to their friends, which would include the guys they had previously rejected.

So these guys start to hear their rejected selves being described as ‘nice’ while all the guys their crushes would date were ‘assholes’. So they start to believe this idea that girls don’t like ‘nice guys’ they only date ‘assholes’.

Rather than realising the truth which is that they are unattractive, and it’s just human nature to talk shit about people sometimes and those ‘assholes’ we’re probably fairly normal guys.

creekcrystall · 2021-12-12T23:34:18+00:00

The “nice” guys are the ones who open doors for you, message you good-morning, ask how your day went, give you compliments, etc. The problem is they’re doing all of that in hopes of getting a girlfriend and not because they really want to. Once you reject them, that’s when you see their true colors. Alas, nice guy was never really nice

undersupervixen · 2021-12-12T23:49:38+00:00

A "nice guy" is a person who uses niceness as a tool and facade. They're not genuinely generous and kind, they just think niceness is a transactional thing they can use to guilt others into doing their bidding. Ultimately they seethe that they don't get whatever it is they imagine their niceness entitles them to get from others.

sernamedeleted · 2021-12-13T00:20:22+00:00

r/niceguys can give you some insight into how the term is used as a pejorative to describe a man who:

1) Claims to be a nice guy or a "gentleman" who treats women like "queens"

2) Then they reveal themselves to be violent abusive psychopaths after the slightest rejection.

baresquad · 2021-12-12T23:43:08+00:00

A dude who goes out of his way to be “nice” (an attribute that comes natural and genuine instead of from concerted effort) and feels like the world and ESPECIALLY women owe them everything for it

Educational-Cut4177 · 2021-12-12T23:58:26+00:00

Apparently everything everyone who doesn’t believe on the brain dead ideology of the red pill.

Educational-Ad6210 · 2021-12-13T00:37:38+00:00

A guy who defaults to chivalry because he has no other option

sarkington · 2021-12-13T00:25:04+00:00

“Why do chicks like assholes and not Nice Guys like me?”

flapperfemmefatale · 2021-12-13T01:30:40+00:00

A guy who is nice merely for women, and who thinks being nice earns him sex.

TopGun1617554 · 2021-12-13T02:24:35+00:00

My understanding is : A guy who puts on a facade of being charming in order to put him in a position to bed a lady however, when his “hard work” goes for naught his true face is reveled, showing a rude, arrogant and often that not entitled attitude that is all but desirable.

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gorilla_blanco · 2021-12-13T01:16:53+00:00

It’s the equivalent of avoiding the no, rather than overcoming the objection and wondering why you can’t close any sales…. Nice guys don’t put up numbers. That post nailed it to a T.

cunningcaring · 2021-12-13T01:33:41+00:00

We are all nice guys to varying degrees.

-Ivar-TheBoneless · 2021-12-13T03:08:03+00:00

a beta male

dbz19 · 2021-12-13T07:03:34+00:00

Literally me.

Hoopy223 · 2021-12-13T16:16:01+00:00

I think its a misunderstanding of a lot of things like depression, abuse survivors, personality disorders etc. Our modern society also glorifies negative things so people who are narcissistic, lack self control, lack of empathy can seen in positive ways. Maybe thats just human nature I dunno.

John_Oakman · 2021-12-12T23:55:30+00:00

Males who do the bare minimum as expected to function in a normal society yet expect to be rewarded for it.

JacobMoogberg69 · 2021-12-13T06:52:43+00:00

No, you are wrong. There is nothing genuine about the Mr Nice Guy. He is also the same guy who tries beta game to get laid and then gets mad when it doesn't work. They are the same person.

Title	Request for Definition What the fuque is a "nice guy"
Author	sex_is_dirty
Upvotes	9
Comments	77
Date	December 12, 2021 11:30 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/rf1axp/request_for_definition_what_the_fuque_is_a_nice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/request-for-definition-what-the-fuque-is-a-nice.1092778 https://theredarchive.com/post/1092778

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