Should every man try to be alpha?

Archwinger · 2016-05-09T16:01:00+00:00

Every man will benefit, significantly, from being better looking, more fit, more successful, more socially apt, and more versed in useful skills and interesting hobbies. Every man will benefit, significantly, from being more attractive and having more opportunities with women.

Whether or not he goes on to fuck 100 plates or find one awesome wife who respects the hell out of him is his business.

I would definitely tell your friends to lift, and do all of the other Red Pill shit that makes them more attractive to women in general. But they don't need to hit up bars or cheat on their women. They just need to be attractive enough that their current girlfriend and their mother aren't the only girls on planet Earth who actually like them. They should have the ability to replace their girlfriend, even if they don't act to do so. That, alone, will give them more confidence, and give their girlfriends a greater sense of respect for them.

Carkudo · 2016-05-09T15:58:39+00:00

No, because I don't think anything good can come out of turning men's lives into an ever-escalating competition to please women's sexual sensibilities.

In my ideal world, sex wouldn't be the end-all be-all of mass culture, taking part in the competition would be purely voluntary and most people wouldn't be reproducing. I know that's unrealistic, but I truly believe that such a world would so so much better.

PemBayliss · 2016-05-09T16:03:49+00:00

There's a difference between "try to be alpha" and "try to develop alpha traits in such a manner that attracts women".

"Try to be alpha"? No, not every man should "try to be alpha" in that not every man can be alpha. Not every man can be the top dog, make most of the money and fuck most of the women.

"Try to develop alpha traits in such a manner that attracts women"? YES, every man should do this, and most can.

Most men will not improve to the point of banging models. but most men can improve to the point of attracting a woman he's attracted to.

Many men have the problem of being able to attract women, but cannot keep them once they're attracted. TRP and manosphere help men with this too.

And to answer the question directly, most men are not going to change their temperaments or physicality to the point of becoming players. They will not be top 10% or 20% to the point of attracting more women than they can handle. But they can make their lives better, they can improve the quality and caliber of women they attract, and they can improve the quality and frequency of their sex lives.

The fact that your friends have found "sweet girls with gentle personalities" is fine. Your friends will have to keep those women attracted. Can they do that?

I might not tell your friends to start hitting up and dreading the shit out of their GFs. They don't need to spin plates either. I would tell them to lift, to keep improving, and to do all they can to improve their physical appearances.

raindient · 2016-05-09T16:10:28+00:00

I've had two long term relationships like that. Both fizzled out because she lost interest, and each went on to date a more masculine man than I was. Maybe I'm wrong and those sweet girls are crazed with lust for their nerds, but I wouldn't assume those relationships are going to last.

C_D_O · 2016-05-09T21:52:24+00:00

Should every man try to develop 'alpha' traits in such a manner that attracts women?

The problem is defining what alpha traits are. This is hard to have an honest discussion on anywhere, because TRPers are caught up in a power fantasy, and Bloopers are loathe to admit that we're not a blank slate and that indeed there may be behaviors that arent politically correct to talk about that women find more attractive in men as a generality.

Personally these days I find the definitions chucked around by TRP as to what an "alpha" is to be specious. Most TRPers caught up in the power fantasy crafting dont want to admit that A) in the vast majority of places in their life, they will, by definition, be a beta male and B) the broscience passed around has butchered the actual evopsych science which is far from clear on the matter.

The problem boils down to conflating "nice guy" behaviors with "beta". Guess what, most "ladies men" are betas. They work for someone else, they live under the rule of the state, they have laws governing their behavior and institutions to step on their neck if they get out of line.

My contention is that what most guys learn (and make no mistake, the amount of guys actually doing this, is small. Most talk the talk but are keyboard warriors) from "game" is basically how to take interactions with women from dull "nice guy" chit chat into more emotionally and sexually charged energy.

Of course, if you suggest that seducing women is an emotional connection, it doesnt sit well with the guys who have become invested in this idea of being khal drogo or scarface.

Nerds being nerds, they have often missed out on that phase in development where you step on your dick and embarrass yourself in front of girls a lot in an attempt to figure out what works and doesn't. So coming into adulthood they often end going down one of two paths A) is over-compensation B) is continuing what they were doing before and hoping they will just "luck" into a relationship, often becoming bitter in the process when they are constantly rebuked. They essentially need to learn how to move beyond friendly chit chat with women and move it into emotional connection - again another think TRP balks at, but when I say emotional connection i dont mean lovey dovey sappy vomit and it doesnt even necessarily mean pleasant emotions. Basically, taking someone from feeling indifferent about you to at least feeling SOME kind of way about you. passion is passion.

Are my friends' relationships doomed to divorce?

Divorce rate is roughly 50% after an average of 7 years in the US I think? flip a coin

Would you tell these men to lift and go hit up the bars and nightclubs instead?

Id tell them to lift and give their wives the good dicking on the regular, but if youre insistent upon shopping for women in nightclubs, dont be surprised when all your relationships seem to be narcissists/HPD/BPD types. Narcissists are to nightclubs like moths are to the flame.

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2016-05-09T18:46:45+00:00

there's no "should" these questions are pointless. if being more alpha would get you more of what you want you "should"

fiat_lux_ · 2016-05-09T22:10:49+00:00

Are my friends' relationships doomed to divorce? Would you tell these men to lift and go hit up the bars and nightclubs instead?

No. There's a lot of nuance to rp discussions that a lot of the more simple-minded rpers don't divulge.

Judging by what I think I know of you and how I imagine your social circles are, I doubt that they'd divorce.

Divorce among Asian Americans is the lowest in the US. It's half as likely as it is for white people. It's even lower if we're speaking of Chinese American couples. Also, the sexual marketplace is generally either restricted or clandestine among Asian Americans. It's not libertine yet (it's not "free market"). Nerdy males in more restrictive environments won't think they've missed out on as much yet. I.e. Ones in restricted markets won't see and become bitter watching Chad the Cad fucking around.

Women don't hate or aim to divorce beta males. They marry them after all. The concern is AFBB. I.e. That they're "settling" for you after spending their youth fucking all over, especially if they fucked some guy you know.

Your friends' marriages are less likely to be doomed to divorce than the vast majority of Americans'. If divorce was their primary concern, then hitting up bars and going clubbing is a destructive move.

As for the titular question:

Should every man try to be alpha?

Oh God I hope not. Not everyone should be a leader. It would be annoying if every male tried to AMOG his way in a social environment.

squirrelcuisine · 2016-05-09T19:59:07+00:00

No,

i think some men ARE naturally beta and SOME women are naturally Alpha. Nothing wrong with that AT all. If it is in your nature do it. If it isnt you probably CANT pull it off anyhow and you wont be happy trying to fake it. I dont think you can fake alpha traits.

i have PLENTY of friends married to alpha women. They are good dudes.. I glance at their wives (because we are ALL friends) and give them that "are you being serious right now" look when they are being overbearing.

If you put two alphas together expect sparks.. if you put two betas together expect snoring.

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ThirdEyeSqueegeed · 2016-05-09T15:59:08+00:00

No, they should play to their strengths. It wouldn't harm to be in good shape and have some masculine hobbies too though.

[deleted] · 2016-05-09T16:09:38+00:00

[permanently deleted]

InBaggingArea · 2016-05-09T16:26:11+00:00

Sounds like your friends already are alpha.

GuitarsAreGettingOld · 2016-05-09T16:47:40+00:00

My take is: Work with what you got and add and develop enough alpha qualities to reach the goals you want to achieve (and maintain).

Entropy-7 · 2016-05-09T18:05:42+00:00

Yes, no, N/A, More than 50% so, No

SwaglordTrump · 2016-05-09T21:30:46+00:00

You gotta lift, you gotta make money, you gotta be aggressive. That will help you beast in the boardroom and the bedroom.

despisedlove2 · 2016-05-10T03:02:20+00:00

Every man should spend time discovering what he, devoid of social conditioning really is. Then he should be that.

CovenantoftheSun · 2016-05-10T07:44:28+00:00

Yes every man should develop alpha traits. No, not every man should spin plates.

I would tell your friends to lift because personal strength can't possibly hurt them. Lifting also helps your brain and makes you able to think harder for longer, so as a nerd myself I hit the gym to help me hit the books.

Its just not healthy not to have some resistance training, as men. You don't have to be Arnold, but you need to lift. Confidence, better self image, all this stuff are amoral qualities.

They can choose their sexual decisions, but without options there is no choice. I.E. If a snake has no fangs, it cannot be commended for not biting people.

People appreciate faithful wives and husbands more when they actually have sex appeal, but choose not to cheat on you. If there just isn't much sex appeal and they are incapable of cheating, its not quite as romantic.

TL;DR lift, lift, lift, lift!

teehee_schmeehee · 2016-05-12T03:12:49+00:00

Alpha is inherited

UA_Hammer · 2016-05-09T16:07:33+00:00

Not everyone has it in them to make it. It's depressing when you lay the path out cleanly for someone and they keep eating large pizzas while playing Xbox instead

Title	Should every man try to be alpha?
Author	bromance946
Upvotes	8
Comments	69
Date	May 9, 2016 3:52 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/4ik67l/should_every_man_try_to_be_alpha/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/should-every-man-try-to-be-alpha.274743 https://theredarchive.com/post/274743

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