The difference between a hard "no" and "not right now, give me more time" from a woman. TRP does not advocate rape.

MoneyOverSluts · 2015-08-18T00:00:49+00:00

I'm really surprised that TRP advocates for pushing past a "soft no" at all considering they're usually so paranoid about rape accusations. IMO if you really wanted to be on the safe side, you would never ever keep pushing for any sort of sexual activity if it wasn't absolutely clear that she was into it.

Even if you were 100% sure she was just play coy or whatever, the second she appeared disinterested or rejected an advance, I would say the obvious thing to do would be to stop completely unless she decides to initiate. Then worst case scenario is that you don't have sex. Way better than finding out later that she actually didn't want to and interpreted you pushing past her "soft no" as being overly pushy or even threatening.

[deleted] · Mon Aug 17 18:00:15 2015 UTC

[permanently deleted]

PostNationalism · 2015-08-17T18:23:39+00:00

I saw a trp post about 6 hours of "lmr".. At what point does it become rape?

mrcs84usn · 2015-08-17T18:05:09+00:00

I remember listening to the audio version of Will Farrell's "The Myth of Male Power." He mentioned how when a woman says no, regardless of what she -really- means, you should discontinue whatever it is. That way she can be held accountable for what she says. Unfortunately this is pretty wishful thinking between hamstering and the need for this sort of practice to be done on a macro level so that there would be a paradigm shift.

My experiences have been that women would generally articulate between both their words and thier general tone of voice whether they actually mean "no" or whether they mean "not yet." Additionally, to confirm, I will ask during the act if she's doing alright.

haircombsnightmare · 2015-08-17T23:14:50+00:00

It's a very thin line between Last Minute Resistance and rape. I disapprove of having sex with someone who doesn't visibly let you know they desire it. I remember the case of a guy who took a girl to his apartment where he had no signal, and when she said no he "jokingly" reminded her she had promised, and she ended up accusing him of rape.

How do you solve a case like that? Even if the guy "hadn't meant to", he pushed more than he should and put her in an uncomfortable place, she felt too scared to talk, and there you have a nasty situation. And this applies for men as well. I used to date a very Catholic guy, and I loved him enough to stop every time I saw him flinch a bit or make a weird face, even if I wanted to ride him into oblivion at the time.

I think "beating last minute resistance" truly means "I want it and I don't care if you're not sure" or "I want it and I don't care if later this makes you feel horrible". It's even more obvious in their reaction when kicking out the woman if she insists she doesn't want it. I don't see it as rape per se, but neither do I see it as something a good or caring human would do, and it could potentially lead to a rape or rapeish situation.

Not that RP's objective is being a good or caring person, right? So I don't know why you're this worried about it.

wonderingwhether54 · 2015-08-18T01:17:14+00:00

Guys also don't understand that girls often smile and still mean no. Since trp is based on experience and feelings, i'll give a personal experience .

Went on a date with a guy. 25 minutes into it, he's broken a few social faux pas, and I don't really like him. My brain is furiously calculating a way to get out of my situation. If there was a distraction, I'd probably like escape the other way.

I take him to my school, where I feel safer because it is my sphere of influence. Smile and talk with him the whole time while internally disliking him.

While were in the elevator ( at a minute alone), the guy turns me to him and tries to feel up my breast. After I look shocked he says, "Sorry, too soon?"

I think: You idiot. The correct time to ask me whether I wanted your hand on my breasts was before you put your hand there. You don't just do it and ask for permission later. That is my body and it does not belong to you. Get off me,bastard!

What I do: Well, I'm a 5 feet tall girl and all of what? 110? 120?lbs I smile nicely, don't answer, take him outside ( public place) and tell him I am too busy with schoolwork to see him anymore.

Then i proceed to ignore the rest of his texts and calls. forever.

Why am I posting this?

To show that women often won't go about saying their no's in a harsh or hard way. Sometimes the guy is bigger and stronger than us, we have to be diplomatic because we have no idea ( on a first date) whether a guy is a crazy person or a good guy who will respect our no's. Being too pushy is a bad signifier though.

Please do not push past a woman's "nice no" or "no with a smile" because a lot of times that smile is all about self- preservation and us trying to mentally calculate the risks of being blunt.

tldr; Don't be a three year old. No means no

redmachines · 2015-08-18T02:28:52+00:00

If the TRP is supposedly amoral, then how can you say it doesn't advocate rape?

Since there are supposedly no moral guidelines, a true red piller is capable of raping a woman as long as it benefits him.

MoneyOverSluts · 2015-08-17T23:35:58+00:00

[removed]

SlyStallonesForearms · 2015-08-18T03:57:43+00:00

Are we talking legal definition of rape or feminist definition? If its the latter...I am a rapist. My friends are rapists. Everyone I know is a rapist.

trp132 · 2015-08-18T06:02:31+00:00

There is a difference and that difference can be determined by non-verbal consent cues and tone and all kinds of other stuff that's obvious if you aren't autistic.

However, I think it's best to play dumb and just bail in either case. No gray area to deal with, and if she says "not now maybe later" then she obviously doesn't want me bad enough to not play games. Well babe there are other women who want to suck my dick "now" so bye. When "Later" comes around give me a call.

wonderingwhether54 · 2015-08-18T01:06:49+00:00

ITT: How to get slapped with a rape charge.

No = no. please respect that.

DeseretRain · 2015-08-18T01:11:15+00:00

But then why are there constantly so many posts on TRP advocating rape? Like there was one post where a guy literally said you should subtly threaten to murder a girl if she won't have sex with you. His theory was that the woman really wants to have sex, but she has a "slut shield," and threatening murder will allow her to rationalize and tell herself "Well this doesn't make me a slut, I just have to do it so I don't get murdered."

And a guy in PPD made a bunch of comments where he said that if a woman is wet and she says no, he totally ignores it and has sex with her anyways because he believes being wet automatically means she's turned on, and he thinks if you're turned on then any reasons you could have for not wanting sex are bad reasons and he doesn't have to respect them.

And there was this girl TRP was making fun of one time, she had these 3 male friends who were driving her to the airport and they threatened to kick her out on the side of the road, leaving her stranded with no way to get anywhere and missing her flight, if she didn't give them all blow jobs. But TRP saw no problem with the men's behavior, they didn't see it as rape to use threats to get sex, rather they saw her as a "slut" who was now unworthy of love forever and made fun of her.

There are just so many examples. If literally all you were saying was "stop when she says no and try again later" then people wouldn't be complaining (though I do think if you try again over and over it gets to the point where you're just pressuring her and some women who are already trauma victims will often get scared of that pressure and give in even though they don't want to.)

Bekazzled · 2015-08-18T12:53:37+00:00

Go to the Married Red Pill. They like their spousal rape.

Title	The difference between a hard "no" and "not right now, give me more time" from a woman. TRP does not advocate rape.
Author	MoneyOverSluts
Upvotes	19
Comments	132
Date	August 17, 2015 5:28 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/3hc616/the_difference_between_a_hard_no_and_not_right/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/the-difference-between-a-hard-no-and-not-right-now.280272 https://theredarchive.com/post/280272

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