The reason why women’s preferences generally speaking seem to range very different in online dating vs real life

FebruaryEightyNine · 2024-03-10T22:18:57+00:00

Someone here said women try to invest as little time as possible to get maximum output when online. Tbh that's the vibe I get too. I've been off the market for years but when using it a little more recently, I was taken aback by just how little effort women out there out into the early stages of dating. It just seemed so much different to what I remember.

I also don't think online dating is the all you can eat endless buffet for "chads" that many seem to think it is. I'm a good looking, tall and muscular guy. But, most importantly, I make money. And I make a lot of it. Once you get to the point I'm at, you become a lot more aware of your own self worth. You're less willing to put up with rudeness, flaking, catfishing or any of the other OLD mainstays. And once you get to that point of self satisfaction, you notice your options drop off a cliff.

Yeah a bunch of matches are great and all, but they're not really all that important if every woman you talk to expects all manner of behavioural performances before they'll show up for a date. This is also why I laugh at redpillers who claim dating is some impossible 80s arcade coin munching final boss battle. In reality women's standards are more pathetic than ever. Less men are providing, more are fat, more are porn obsessed and can't fuck...and yet you'll see those dudes walking around with partners all the time. But that's because those guys are putting themselves out there whilst adjusting to the new cultural reality in which mens expectations for women are less stringent.

If you’re shopping online, odds are you want to go for the best product possible, you start looking for very specific details for said product whether it be price, size, color, functionality, make, etc - and because the ‘vibes’ aspect is more or less gone with online dating, it automatically gets treated as the preference tab in online shopping.

This is largely true but kinda missing the bigger picture. Online shopping is more ubiquitous than ever and yet the vast majority of the products are complete junk. I went looking for a desk chair recently and literally couldn't find a single one which wasn't some rebranded Chinese made nonsense with a bunch of dubious "4 star" reviews on Amazon. Now, more than ever you're paying a MASSIVE premium for anything even half decent. In regards to those chairs I mentioned? You're looking at a brand like Herman Miller and you're paying 2k for the privilege. Online dating is no different. There's a lot of meh options out there but none of them are particularly compelling. Especially for women. The ones that are? The Herman Millers, Apples, Bang and Olufsens and Sony's of the world? They're making you pay a bigger premium and, on top of that, they're tying you into a walled garden too. Unless Chad is some pornsick sex addict (which a lot of incels and redpillers are), endless chasing pussy online gets old hyper quick in favour of a woman who actually respects your time and accomplishments.

My friends and I are also either wealthy or very professionally successful. Yeah dating seems harder but mens standards have increased also.

envious1998 · 2024-03-10T22:46:37+00:00

Ya but the problem is that there are far fewer places today where it is acceptable to approach a woman than even 10 years ago. I don’t go out a ton, but when I do I never see women talking to men they didn’t walk into a bar with already.

There are fewer acceptable places to meet women and even the ones that remain acceptable don’t really have that going on a whole lot anymore. So dating apps are kind of your only option, at least for men, so it’s no wonder so many men are checking out.

Objective_Ad_6265 · 2024-03-11T10:30:09+00:00

There is something about that. Online you don't have the vibe so you have no other option than to go by checklist like online shoping. And nothing looks good enough because in reality that's the vibe that does it for you, so you miss the key most important aspect and the rest don't sufficiently replace it.

Freevoulous · 2024-03-11T13:52:01+00:00

this is a typical Lumping Bias:

The women who "shop" for men online, and the women who "shop" for men IRL are simply not the same women. There is no hipocrisy or discrepancy here, just two disjoint sets of people who have nothign in common except the shape of their genitals and being called "women". NAWALT guys.

Love_each_other_GOB · 2024-03-10T21:07:15+00:00

good analogy. Saved

OnePotatoeChip · 2024-03-11T22:34:57+00:00

I agree, for the most part. But it's just that, with the slow decline of third spaces, OLD has so much room to dominate. Not to mention that the sting of rejection is numbed a hell of a lot through OLD. I suppose you have bars and clubs, but those appeal only to certain crowds and can have pretty bad outcomes.

Safinated · 2024-03-10T20:07:23+00:00

IMO it’s more like 5 OLD profiles = all wimmins

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RubyDiscus · 2024-03-11T16:00:25+00:00

This is why I would never use swiping based apps and only chat/message based apps. So I can try to reply to everyone who I find attractive reasonably, basically 5+ and see if we vibe.

xxTheMagicBulleT · 2024-03-11T16:59:33+00:00

Yes true but also not true at the same time.

People that are not online much have more normal view.

But the younger generation thats more online. And consuming online media. Do definitely get affected by that media and gets a view of the world thats not realistic.

So its quite dangerous. Cause many people see the online world and every video as kinda reality. And trying to mimic it. Not knowing a lot lot of rage bait videos of outrageous things are often staged and fake.

And people keep doing it cause its easy likes shares and attention. What they can monetize.

Just like any news outlet or post does. Push a type of thing that wil make people feel a type of way. Get outrage. Make people share it. Keep pishing it cause keeps getting money from it. Keep doing it.

Even if it has nothing to do with how realistic or relevant the problem is in the world yet you see it all the time. But it does have affected on people in a type of way especially teens and young adults.

So yes but no but yes.

Just be honest and see how for many people relationships dynamics have massive changed just the last few years. Also massively by dating apps. And how people make tick toks. Shameing there dates. And all that. Stuff like that had massive impact on people and how they wish to interact. But also what younger women think they can get away with.

It has bigger effects then you think. Even do what you online see does not mean that much on reality. Still people in mass see it as what reality is like.

Both men and women.

Adventurous-Mine1954 · 2024-03-11T22:39:05+00:00

What's your point? I don't understand your post.

Agile-Explanation263 · 2024-03-12T04:15:40+00:00

Personally I don't think most women are actually attracted to most men even when they're in relationships with one another. Most men will never have genuine attraction from a woman. Most women have a sort of switch up. Its like when a wife might compare her husband to Jason Mamoa "as a joke" they wouldnt ever do the same if Thier husband WAS. Or resembled Jason Mamoa.

SupportRemarkable583 · 2024-03-10T20:05:16+00:00

A. When I'm shopping online I try to find the cheapest product. Fucking paying that shipping fee.

B. Could you argue though that once a woman goes on dating site and is now being hit up by every single tall and ripped dude within a 15 mile radius that checks every single one of her boxes, that fucks with her head and now she can no longer be approached by a guy irl that only checks half her boxes.

kai77kai77 · 2024-03-10T22:30:48+00:00

I think women will blu try speak up about everything while men will just don't say mich. Preferences are crazy on both sides but men will just go on and say nothing and women will say ot out loud.

PeensMagicalBeans · 2024-03-10T22:06:27+00:00

You can debate me on this: Any person who refers to another human being as a “giga chad” comes across as an insecure man child (maybe there is a women saying it) that needs to work on their own self esteem instead of blaming the rest of the world for their own lack of success in the dating market.

Unless you are in a country like China or India where there is a disproportionate number of men to women (due to patriarchy) there is little sympathy to read where you put down others in what is supposed to be a respectful conversation.

Title	The reason why women’s preferences generally speaking seem to range very different in online dating vs real life
Author	KayRay1994
Upvotes	24
Comments	123
Date	March 10, 2024 7:35 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1bbiu5v/the_reason_why_womens_preferences_generally/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/the-reason-why-womens-preferences-generally.1426375 https://theredarchive.com/post/1426375

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