Why over emphasizing superficial things like looks leads to a downfall

BigZaddyZ3 · 2022-10-26T07:06:30+00:00

Even if you were right, you’ll never get men or women to forgo looks when it comes to dating/mating. It’s literally impossible…

Also, usually when people say things like this, they’re almost always unaware of how they themselves are still largely driven by physical attraction. Just something to think about…

CimZim · 2022-10-26T08:42:21+00:00

-After playing the numbers game for a bit men find manage to find a girl they consider to be a catch to date them, but get pissed off that they have to be in committed relationship in order to get sex whereas a better looking man can hookup with them and have NSA sex…meaning that they expect women to lower their standards for casual sex when they themselves never would (see point #1).

Then why are they dating women who engage in casual sex, if it makes them so frustrated and upset? Look for a woman who doesn't ever do no strings attached sex, then they'll know that every man she's previously had sex with also had to offer his commitment to share her bed. Can't be jealous of the hookups in her past if there aren't any in the first place, yeah?

DerekMorganBAU · 2022-10-26T13:25:49+00:00

Men don’t lower their standards unless they’re desperate (testosterone and sex drive) the issue is, again, most men find most women attractive and women only find SOME men attractive.

Women here will say “It’s not that I don’t think men are unattractive it’s just that men that catch my eye are few and far between,”

Which is true because gorgeous people are hard to come by but again, men would look at a plain Jane and still be attracted to her just as much as a celebrity because that’s how we’re wired.

But they’ll never understand that unfortunately

mistressusa · 2022-10-26T12:54:53+00:00

Excellent summary of the situation.

FeeForTheKnee · 2022-10-26T07:12:06+00:00

I'm a young guy and I personally can't remember the last time I've seen an ugly woman my age. Almost every woman I see in college is attractive. I don't care if they are bigger or slimmer, I think they're all attractive.

Ohyarlysmiles · 2022-10-26T16:55:29+00:00

Here's the counter-point to your 'dating problems for men summary,'

https://medium.com/@worstonlinedater/tinder-experiments-ii-guys-unless-you-are-really-hot-you-are-probably-better-off-not-wasting-your-2ddf370a6e9a

As you can see here, a man in the 70th percentile of physical attractiveness can expect to match with women around the 10th percentile or below level of attractiveness.

To match with an average, 50th percentile woman, a man needs to be a bit over the 90th percentile.

So I'd argue that your first point is simply wrong. Men do lower their standards for casual sex. The complaint mostly boils down to a complaint about dating power dynamics and how women, if they wanted to, could have a man of a much higher caliber for a night, whereas men --- no matter who they are --- essentially have to lower their standards by a lot to get the same thing.

And the self-improvement complaint seems well-founded when a man must go from being 1 in 5 (where he's able to get women in the 20th percentile, whoop de doo) to 1 in 10 or higher to see significant results.

This is from someone who did hardcore self-improvement and did see the meaningful results. It's a long journey and takes up a lot of time.

midwesternMD · 2022-10-26T22:48:36+00:00

What is your solution? De-emphasizing looks?

At some point, someone’s looks will turn you on or not.

If women suddenly started dating men they didn’t find attractive, do you think that they’d have successful relationships with them? I sure as shit wouldn’t want to fuck an attractive woman who isn’t attracted to me. I’d imagine she’d be about as interactive as a male masturbator. And I’d imagine that my self-confidence in being a desirable man would slowly deteriorate.

If men started to date women who they didn’t find attractive, they might get laid. And maybe the woman would be enthusiastic about it. But I would sure as shit keep looking for someone who I do find attractive. I tried it once, and I will never try again.

shonenhikada · 2022-10-26T20:23:54+00:00

This is a nice story but with a false premise.

The standards by which men set for women, a lot of girls can obtain but choose not to base on her own personal choice. You mention the weight, a lot of girls just need to have self control and put down the cup cakes to get in shape. You mention being unattractive, many girls can go to at least 5/10 with good makeup tips. You mention having kids which can be avoided by picking better men that you part your legs for. You then brought up promiscuity which women choose to partake in.

And two of these things that you mention as being superficial is really not. Men have finite resources that he wishes to invest on his biological children. He does not wish to use it to help another man's genetic line survive. A man being cautious of promiscuity is not superficial. It's been found that female satisfaction in marriage goes down base on her sexual partner count. Given that women initiate the lion share of divorces/break ups, it would be rather foolish as a guy to not factor this when making a decision in a spouse.

Contrast this to a lot of times why women reject men: too short, not rich enough, not a certain race, not enough social clout on social media, friends dislike him, too nice, didn't escalate to sex at the right time etc

A lot of these things are outside of the men control and men are often penalized for not being top % in these categories. For example in America only 15% of men are over 6'0 and yet so many girls will reject a guy if he is under 6'0.

"After playing the numbers game for a bit men find manage to find a girl they consider to be a catch to date them, but get pissed off that they have to be in committed relationship in order to get sex whereas a better looking man can hookup with them and have NSA sex…meaning that they expect women to lower their standards for casual sex when they themselves never would (see point #1)."

Guys are more pissed off that said girl claims to love them yet makes them wait while she couldn't wait to rip the clothes off some guy she met on tinder that said "wanna smash". It shows lack of sexual desire and should be a real concern for men since it can lead to dead bedroom relationship especially if they end up locked into marriage. Also if your girl isn't that sexually into you, she will weaponize sex against you in order to control your behavior.

-To add insult to injury, whenever people suggest things like self-improvement (going to the gym, learning to cook, hustling after a promotion…etc.) everyone complains that it’s “too hard” or that “it takes forever to see results” so they just give up and choose to do nothing instead of working towards meaningful success.

Men don't complain. In fact more men go about actively self improving on themselves than women since that's the only advice they are told by people. Women often get pandered to by society and told that they deserve the best without having to work for it. Guys who often complain get no sympathy but sometime it could be justified base on a guy's genetic limitations.

NockerJoe · 2022-10-26T05:52:20+00:00

Lmao you got rosted and deleted and reposted this thing like you aren't gonna get the same result.

SmarmyPapsmears · 2022-10-26T08:00:54+00:00

Yes so obviously looks matter more than BP will admit, and less than blackpill says. So RP is ideal.

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Wqtr100 · 2022-10-26T16:54:17+00:00

Are you seriously blaming men for focusing too much on superficial things? LMAO!

The kind of men that you are describing is an extremely tiny group. Your post would have made sense if you were talking about women. Most men have realistic standards, whereas most women are extremely shallow and have unrealistic demands for men.

RealAmericanWeasel · 2022-10-26T18:20:01+00:00

Who cares what men say? You see overweight, unattractive females with guys all the time. It’s not unusual by any stretch of the imagination. You can’t eyeball the other two attributes but I doubt it’s a lot different.

Fun_Push7168 · 2022-10-26T19:40:32+00:00

I don't see the downfall part here. Unless you're referring to the whining part.

CrackedAnus · 2022-10-26T23:38:39+00:00

Men must be made horny by their woman, otherwise you are just friends.

TheFuckUpIsSpeaking · 2022-10-27T10:27:04+00:00

I mean, you yourself referred to your date as the 'cute girl' who works at the library. She's not a girl but a 'cute' girl. Wouldn't you say that's an emphasis on the superficial?

Equal_Ad_3805 · 2022-10-27T11:19:43+00:00

As a man who fits none of what you described in the first point and STILL can’t find a relationship, despite being a relatively good looking guy with a personality that I think is bearable, I can confidently say this is only true of the men you’ll find online, or in incel circles. Truth is that most of us, men/women, would be willing to date at least one of those types on the list, and those that don’t have probably been listening to way too much RP content to engage with reality effectively. You can’t simultaneously explain my situation and your position, and you don’t solve it by just labeling me an outlier either. Because I guarantee you that I’m not an outlier.

Upstairs-Rip-604 · 2022-10-30T23:02:01+00:00

https://youtu.be/_AJstxQZR5E

Scene from The Swan Princess in regards to beauty

https://youtu.be/A4q0x414z8o

Scene from Little Women in regards to beauty

Title	Why over emphasizing superficial things like looks leads to a downfall
Author	medSTUDentsOntario
Upvotes	6
Comments	43
Date	October 26, 2022 5:23 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/ydpump/why_over_emphasizing_superficial_things_like/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/why-over-emphasizing-superficial-things-like-looks.1137275 https://theredarchive.com/post/1137275

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