Would it better for the guy to suggest something else fun rather than doing a chore as first date?

MistyMaisel · 2024-09-01T02:22:12+00:00

I dunno if you've weeded a garden, but it's very zen and relaxing. Lots of time to talk and get to know each other. Probably ends with a meal since they're at hers.

I dunno, seems chill to me.

uglysaladisugly · 2024-09-01T10:29:01+00:00

There is weeding and weeding. Maybe your pulling strong roots from hard soil to prep a new flower bed or something. Or maybe you're sitting down in your vegetable garden pulling out tiny seedlings between the tomatoes.

One is a back breaking, sunburning activity where talking would be hard due to how physical it is. So a chore. The other is a super chill, kind of relaxing activity that may very well simply help "breaking the ice". So an activity.

The other plan you propose is very nice, and the girl in the post would probably like it. There would be no problem at all, in my opinion, in proposing this instead.

But I think the "green flags" here are correct. The girl is probably down to earth, she wants to meet in a free settings, where she will be providing the snacks and drinks as it is her place, where she'll not be at her most sexy or pretty because, well, gardening. Additionally, she's proposing to meet over an activity that she loves and probably takes up a lot of her time. She's also honestly giving a heads up of how it is to share her life as she obviously spend a lot of time doing that.

It's the opposite of the usual artificial setting and superficial socialization of OD.

Demasii · 2024-09-01T06:17:56+00:00

Me personally I prefer dates based around an activity with a goal.

Coffee or dinner dates where the attention is fully on each other can be intimidating.

As long as the topic of the activity felt natural in conversation and he doesn't feel like she is using him, he should go on the date.

It's a great meet cute story if it turns into a relationship.

Edit: I just remembered this. A couple years ago I was volunteering for Habitat for Humanity doing some work on a house when there was a pair in my group. It was their first date after chatting online. They were awesome together.

Pola_Lita · 2024-09-01T05:16:53+00:00

The guy was kind of hesitant but "would happily do whatever to get a chance to spend time with her" aka desperate, but most of the comments were treating this as cute chill thing. It's as if a girl who just invites a guy she never met to her house to do chores is a normal thing to do.

I don't see why his willingness was desperation but I don't understand her assumption that the man (or anyone else) would enjoy weeding. I love weeding but I've not met many others that do.

If it were me I would have suggested they go to a natural park, or a plant zoo where they could walk around to look at the plants and have some coffee later.

This is such a good suggestion. Assuming she's a plant person, of course.

Direct-Alternative70 · 2024-09-01T05:45:53+00:00

I think it’s kind of a dumb idea. Not to insult her but seriously…. Weeding her yard…. That’s not even a date. She invited a guy to work for her for free, and keep her entertained for free. Unless it was a mutual want where they both were into it then it’s dumb and honestly disrespectful.

starksoph · 2024-09-01T06:35:25+00:00

Weeding a garden together is so fucking weird to me lmao

A zoo sounds awesome

thelajestic · 2024-09-01T09:57:41+00:00

Yeah I saw that post and I thought it was weird how into the idea everyone was 😅 but I don't see weeding as relaxing. I like gardening but weeding is just a necessary and somewhat unpleasant evil. My husband obviously helps with it because we made the decision together to get a place with a garden and we both live here and use it, but I'd never ask a friend, family member, or (if I became single) a random date to help.

My go to for dates was always suggesting drinks because it's low pressure, it can end up as short or long a date as you want, and it's easy to then move to something else if you're vibing well. Ime that's what most guys do too and it works well. If people want a more involved activity then going for a walk, playing pool etc - activities that you can extend if they're going well but cut short if it's not going well - are good shouts.

Flightlessbirbz · 2024-09-02T14:42:38+00:00

Well, this isn’t something I’d suggest as a first date, that’s more something you would do in the stages when you’re getting to know each other a little better. First of all I wouldn’t want a stranger from a dating app coming to my house for the first time I met them, I wouldn’t even want to get in their car. Meeting in a public place during daylight hours is generally standard for safety I think.

Second, even though gardening is a fun activity to her, weeding is still work, and I wouldn’t assume someone else would want to do work on a first date. I don’t think it necessarily reflects badly on the guy for being willing to do it, but kinda thoughtless on her part (imo).

kayceeplusplus · 2024-09-01T05:51:28+00:00

Wowww I would love to have someone to help weed my garden! But thankfully I have a couple friends for that now 🥹

SaBahRub · 2024-09-01T06:56:48+00:00

For me, yes.

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januaryphilosopher · 2024-09-01T06:57:16+00:00

She likes gardening so probably enjoys weeding her garden and sees it as a fun activity. It's quite satisfying and allows plenty of space to talk while being open ended about how much time you spend and what you do next and low pressure. Might not be everyone's cup of tea but I can see why it could be suggested. If I was to do it I'd definitely treat the other person to food or drinks afterwards though.

Title	Would it better for the guy to suggest something else fun rather than doing a chore as first date?
Author	Paranoid_wiseman
Upvotes	10
Comments	32
Date	August 31, 2024 1:41 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1f5njo3/would_it_better_for_the_guy_to_suggest_something/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/would-it-better-for-the-guy-to-suggest-something.1529030 https://theredarchive.com/post/1529030

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