Dealing with Hitting the Wall

jonmarli · 2020-09-26T16:28:25+00:00

Aging is scary. I'm in my early 30s and starting to see little signs of age. It just creeps and creeps.

In all honesty I look forward to getting older and I enjoy every aspect of my life, marriage, family life, financial standing, good health (knock on wood) and running our business has been great. I feel like there are some real benefits to getting older that I can appreciate more than other stage in my life.

It sounds like you have a good attitude toward aging overall. But the awareness of our own mortality is hard to handle no matter what.

My mother is in her 50s and we've talked a lot recently about her feelings about getting older. She is currently interested in finding representation of older women. She shops makeup brands that use mature models, looks for movies featuring women near her she and reads fiction about older women (apparently there is a growing subgenre of paranormal mysteries and thrillers with mature women protagonists! Who knew?).

One way that modern culture has failed us, I believe, is that older women are hidden away instead of being celebrated as the absolute backbone of civilization that they are. TRP talks about gender dynamics from an evolutionary psychology perspective, and one theory I've read recently is that the existence of grandmothers (or post-childbearing years women) is the catalyst for the evolution of modern humans. Menopause and "the wall" is not something to fear but rather part of what makes women the bedrock of families and communities. We will look different, sure, but our worth in many ways only grows.

Edit to say that I'm not trying to de-sexualize women over 40 or 50 or whatever here. Our sexiness won't be the sexiness of peak fertility and youth forever, but older women can absolutely be super hot to the right man.

notahappygirl211 · 2020-09-26T16:20:51+00:00

I only recently discovered Botox for forehead lines and filler for undereye circles. I too am early 40's. I workout 5 days a week with a trainer. Staying healthy and cultivating good habits staves off aging better than any surgery but I will likely have some sort before 50.

notahappygirl211 · 2020-09-27T01:32:58+00:00

Aging is indeed scary, even for me in my 20s lol, and I totally get when you feel like beauty is a part of your identity... but I feel that "the wall" is kind of a lie. I love this sub but I disagree with the whole idea of the wall, except for biologically speaking, of course. There will ALWAYS be men out there who think you're attractive, and even if you're not super conventionally pretty, if you're fun and feminine, men will take note. I truly believe that at the end of the day, a vibrant feminine energy is the most attractive thing to men. I know so many women even into their 60s who have men after them. These women have wrinkles and ain't perfect but they're confident and fun. Don't be too hard on yourself, energy and vitality is the most beautiful thing of all.

MilkiesMaximus · 2020-09-26T20:44:24+00:00

You should try doing some serious sweating. Like hot yoga or just anything that makes you looks super gross after lol. I find my skin looks it's best post shower after a lot of sweating. I'm sure there is evidence that it cleanses your skin somehow and keeps it tighter and just makes it glow.

neverbringsajacket · 2020-09-26T16:38:38+00:00

I don’t think beauty is “ripped away” in the sense you describe. I think it changes. My mother just turned 60 and she is stunning. Men look at her all the time. You’d never guess she’s 60, but it’s not because she’s spent thousands to look that way. She’s not social media standard hot in the Kris Kardashian sense. It’s honestly more in the means that she conducts herself, how she dresses, and she chooses to live a full passionate life.

I think a facelift and boob jobs are great! There’s plenty of other maintenance that you can do as well if you choose to, I’m not against that at all, I plan to have some work done myself! I mean how you interpret your own self projects out. If you think you’re old and and tired, you’re going to project old and tired. Don’t sell yourself short! Change your hair, get some new clothes, find something to be interested in!

JadedByEntropy · 2020-09-26T18:57:39+00:00

Following. I had a traumatic major surgery and lost 5 years when i found a mirror two months later. I don't know what to do about these feelings of waking up significantly older with my first permanent "wrinkles" the creases of intense pain

ajaa123 · 2020-09-27T00:19:37+00:00

I feel for you. I know it can be devastating. My mum is in her late 50s and I remember growing up I always thought she was so beautiful - still do. The way she carried herself, dressed, hair and makeup. Her skin always looked glowing. You should look into getting some hyaluronic acid into your skincare routine if you don't already. Also maybe you need to learn how to do your makeup differently now. I know my mum's beauty secret was applying a thin layer of oil under her foundation and her skin looked glowing always. A dewy setting spray might do the trick? I know whenever I see someone over 50 looking amazing I am in awe and really appreciate their beauty because I know that they have put in the effort. Just remember you are still beautiful.

gorgeouskitten · 2020-09-26T17:07:57+00:00

I feel like I could’ve written your post. I’m 40, been married 18 years, 3 awesome kids, Pilates 3-4 days a week, and as of late I have been shocked to see myself age in hyper speed all of a sudden. I had breast augmentation years ago and have done a bit of Botox in my forehead lines for years...but this is bigger than that. My youth and glow are quickly fading and no surgery will replace it. Its a heartbreaking realization I’ve become all too aware of and am struggling with keeping it in perspective. (And never realized how much my looks were part of my identity.) It’s scary bc it’s also not how I want to spend the rest of my life: obsessing about my looks. In order to enjoy the 2 half of my life I’m going to have to learn embrace this new normal, and age gracefully with a few perhaps a few minor improvements along the way. Moderation (in every part of life) is key! Big hugs to you. Thanks for sharing, it’s encouraging knowing I’m not the only one who feels this way!

Brendadonna · 2020-09-26T23:25:31+00:00

I used to get a ton of male attention in my teens and twenties. Obviously I was more attractive then, but I think part of it is that men know that you are naive when you are young, but In your 30s and up, they know you won’t be easily impressed by them It’s weird, but when I got to be about 38, I started attracting a lot of guys in their 20s. It’s funny becuase 28 was when I first noticed men paying less attention to me.

LookingForEquanimity · 2020-09-26T19:33:21+00:00

Hi there. Just wondering since you seem okay with injections etc. Have you looked into tear trough filler? Will def make you look less tired. There truly is no cream for that...
42 is not old. You can absolutely still be sexy.

ShimmeringGlimmering · 2020-09-27T03:20:11+00:00

May want to looking into deep plan facelift/fat transfer/blepharoplasity I follow https://instagram.com/dramirkaram and tabanmd on Instagram for their natural results. I know you mentioned being wary of the overdone Instagram look - it’s definitely something that can make you look older. The deep plane lift helps prevent the stretched out look re: fillers that you mentioned. I’m 35 so just on undereye fillers but I’m saving up for a light fat transfer. But when the time comes I’ll do the deep plane. I did have laser tightening on my neck and jawline that worked well in the meantime. Either way, it sounds like you are doing the most that you can, I know it’s hard though. Time comes for us all!

romgal · 2020-09-26T16:17:24+00:00

I'm sorry to hear what you're going through. I'm very happy that your boob lift went well, sounds great! I'm sorry, but where would I find the definition of all these terms (wall, etc)?

aussiedollface2 · 2020-09-28T21:30:56+00:00

Get a good Dermatologist and take their advice re skin care and anti aging procedures.

Aside from that, it really is just a part of being a woman I suppose. I’m over 30 now and still look pretty good I think, but I’ve definitely noticed society changing in their attitude towards me. I’ve written a post in this topic here before actually lol. I think the goal is to be as attractive and healthy and happy as you can be, and part of that is transitioning from “the hot chick” to the elegant woman. Yes there’s less sex appeal, but there’s a lot more to give too in terms of wisdom and kindness xo

underhiscumspell · 2020-09-30T18:02:00+00:00

It is so painful, to age. You described it perfectly.

davkakafka · 2020-10-14T16:01:50+00:00

Read this article about aging:

https://www.theguardian.com/film/2020/oct/13/isabella-rossellini-ageing-brings-a-lot-of-happiness-you-get-fatter-but-there-is-freedom?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other

bachbozo · 2020-09-26T17:14:14+00:00

r/zerocarb madaam

My 47 y/o Polish plate is the finest piece of ass I've landed in recent memory and has been full keto for years.

notahappygirl211 · 2020-09-27T16:21:22+00:00

[removed]

Title	Dealing with Hitting the Wall
Author	notahappygirl211
Upvotes	96
Comments	57
Date	September 26, 2020 3:50 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/j08e1u/dealing_with_hitting_the_wall/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/dealing-with-hitting-the-wall.268592 https://theredarchive.com/post/268592

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