Having trust issues

LookingForEquanimity · 2019-03-03T18:20:11+00:00

No, not all men are cheaters. But if your boyfriend is telling you he believes this to be true and that he has cheated in the past it is time to next him unless you also want to be cheated on.

Edit. Just seeing you wrote it was your ex that said this. Glad they are your ex. And again, no not all men are cheaters.

ragnarockette · 2019-03-03T21:02:50+00:00

No way.

My husband hates cheaters. He has broken off friendships because of the lack of respect he has for disloyalty.

whatevescom · 2019-03-03T18:55:34+00:00

He is projecting to avoid taking blame. "All men Cheat" is actually saying "I am a giant wuss and I am incapable of taking ownership of my flaws".

I am glad he is your ex. I believe that spotting a cheater is pretty easy. When someone starts to withdraw from the relationship, and becomes secretive of their whereabouts, or phone. Obviously this is not a hard and fast rule, sometimes people withdraw for stress or other reasons.

I would recommend you stop talking to this individual, he is toxic, disgusting, and full of shit.

_Presence_ · 2019-03-03T18:46:09+00:00

It’s simply not true. Just google statistics on infidelity rates. Compare several and you’ll see the minority of both genders cheat. So not “all men” cheat. You may have a bad “picker” though. Reflect carefully in the kind of men you are drawn to. If it’s a pattern in your life that you pick cheaters if might be you’re choosing the wrong kind of men.

Also, people cheat for a number of different reasons. Some do it as a relationship is already winding down and getting “caught” just accelerates the process. Others in long term relationships do it as a stop gap in order to stay married. And of course, others do it because they’re assholes and only think about themselves.

Vellore992 · 2019-03-03T20:15:18+00:00

All men desire sexual variety, but not all men will act on that.

Vet for a man who's shown discipline in other areas of his life, look at his relationship history, and check for signs that his principles include monogamy. That's really the best you can do.

renegade · 2019-03-03T21:22:23+00:00

There are faithful men, and there are unfaithful men. I have no idea how much of it is nature vs nurture. It does seem to run in families.

I am very faithful. I had opportunity multiple times while married to my first wife and did not take it. It was a hard switch in me, I didn't even have to think about it. But, once I had determined the relationship was over and that I was ending it I had no problem spending time with other women, switch thrown. Now that I'm in a committed relationship again there is no way I would betray her.

Clearly this is not the case for some men. If they are that way, I guess they are that way. I can't comprehend it, but there are lots of male behaviors I'd just burn out of the gene pool if I had permission to.

FeminineEnergy01 · 2019-03-03T21:49:52+00:00

I don't think that high value men want women with low expectations of their man; that would basically label him by default as being low-value/low desirability.

conorscottvanek · 2019-03-03T18:48:36+00:00

Not all men are cheaters. But it depends not only on the man, but also on the stage the man is at in his life. See for me, it took a lot of basically being beat into a state of reason emotionally and going through a lot of horrible things in my love life, until I finally decided I was never going to put someone through that ever again.

DetteBavis · 2019-03-03T19:28:24+00:00

Absolutely not, all men are NOT cheaters. To echo a lot of ladies here, most men may face temptation in their lives, but strength of character is what stops them from acting on it. Good men are out there, and your ex is not one of them.

friggandfrayed · 2019-03-03T20:08:23+00:00

Statistically speaking, while it is more common that a man will cheat in his lifetime, it depends on the age range. Women cheat too.

https://ifstudies.org/blog/who-cheats-more-the-demographics-of-cheating-in-america

Was he your only partner?

BeginningSomewhere3 · 2019-03-03T18:48:19+00:00

All men look at their options even when they're in committed relationships. But a lot of men have the character to not act on those urges because they don't want to risk ruining the relationship they already have.

Zegiknie · 2019-03-03T19:34:48+00:00

Not true at all.

There are two strategies for offspring - invest in a few or spread seeds far and wide. Some men have a natural tendency toward the first. Some toward the second, and of those, only the ones without moral character cheat. That's still many of them, but not all by a long shot.

moonchildcountrygirl · 2019-03-03T19:42:25+00:00

It’s really hard to break the example our parents set for us. My dad never cheated on my mom, was a very loving husband and father. No boyfriend of mine has ever cheated on me or abused me, but I have noticed some of the guys I’ve dated have some of my dad’s other (lesser) bad habits. Continue to be conscious and make choices that propel you forward. If you believe you deserve it, you’ll be able to receive it in your relationship

ObedientLittleWife · 2019-03-03T22:21:08+00:00

I think most men are faithful, some are unfaithful when they are unhappy in a relationship but that only happens when communication in a relationship is shit. Some people are just cheaters, cant really change them. Vetting is the answer, if they cheated in the past it either means they are bad communicators or just assholes. Not really interested in both of those. But I truly believe most guys are faithful.

MPGH21 · 2019-03-04T01:32:48+00:00

No not all men cheat. I have been brought up around unfaithful guys and it’s hard to believe the good ones are out there.

My ex always told me men are hunters and I think they put this behaviour into their head thinking it’s acceptable just because they are males.

Some men are capable of treating women how they deserve to be treated. It’s a matter of focusing on yourself, your self worth and your vibe will attract your tribe.

If a man truly is committed to one woman then he sees that she fulfils all his needs therefore he should not be cheating or gaming others regardless. Leave those guys

happycheese86 · 2019-03-04T07:47:51+00:00

Biological inequality. Men can't stop cheating or wanting to cheat, not all men/humans are assholes anymore than women can stop their periods. But just like not every woman has a child, not every man cheats. It's just a question of going against your biologic drive because intellectually you know you will have a better life, relationship, etc if you don't reproduce or don't cheat. But I'm also in the camp that believes if we don't stop consuming and reproducing like we have, we won't last another generation, so take all this with a grain of salt.

PhoneOnMyName · 2019-03-04T10:47:53+00:00

Generalization is dangerous sometimes, if you meet with good men, they would say that many men /their friends were faithful to their women and men takes responsibility seriously so don't think that mens are cheater. If you meet a good hardworking men then its very less probably that he would be cheater cuz those men care about family and kids. So there are many decent men in this world, but if you are in group of bad people then it would be impossible to see them.

SwimmingInterest · 2019-03-04T12:50:23+00:00

No, not all men are cheaters. Don’t let your ex change the way you view relationship. I was cheated on by my ex, took me 1.5yrs to trust a man again. It takes time, self improvement (love yourself more than anyone no matter what) and everything else will come!

NoCharism · 2019-03-04T17:10:36+00:00

Seriously, there are too many men and women who cheat on their partners..

i hate beeing part of this hook up culture

LateralThinker13 · 2019-03-05T14:54:16+00:00

Ballpark figures:

10% of men will always cheat.

50% of men will never cheat.

40% of men will cheat if they are abused or neglected for long enough and their needs go unfulfilled by their partners for too long. How long? Usually years.

That's my experience. Only a small portion of men are cheaters when there is no reason to be (other than they're lying, unfaithful scumbags or pathological). Most men cheat because they are suffering and neglected, and finally find someone who cares about them, even if just for a moment.

cheesewindow · 2019-03-03T20:26:07+00:00

Hope you don't mind a man commenting on this but no, your ex is wrong. Not all men cheat. I have RP beliefs too but more along the lines of being the best you can be. I have high standards but faithful. I know of men who are like me and men who will cheat without any issue, maybe it's the company I keep but I would say with my friends it's 85:15 to the non cheating. I'm 43. I also do think that the company you keep does relate to cheating behavior for both men and women. For example my ex of 8 years, 65-75% of her close friends had affairs and I believe this was a contribution to why she also did.

Good men over a certain age really want a partnership for adventure. Find a man who has interests and discipline (I know that is easier said than done lol)

collectijism · 2019-03-03T22:26:28+00:00

Not all men cheat this ain't mexico. We don't have hookers and brothels everywhere.

Title	Having trust issues
Author	DelicateFlower14
Upvotes	35
Comments	56
Date	March 3, 2019 6:15 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/awwoch/having_trust_issues/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/having-trust-issues.220581 https://theredarchive.com/post/220581

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