How to become a better homemaker?

JustAnotherBoymoder · 2024-03-04T00:20:57+00:00

Also how do you ladies fit in self care when you have little kids to take care with little to no alone time?

From what I remember reading in the Surrendered Wife, Laura Doyle suggests taking the time and letting your husband figure it out. So for example, telling your husband you're going to be doing so and so from this time to this time, then letting him figure things out in regards to the kids, feeding them, etc. He can take a Saturday night to take care of the kids while you do self care.

Wife_and_Mama · 2024-03-04T01:04:49+00:00

How old are your children? If they're old enough for co-ops and Bible study, they're old enough for chores. They're also old enough to play alone so you can have a moment to yourself.

Luscious-Grass · 2024-03-04T14:30:44+00:00

You’re doing multiple full time jobs…

Certain_Ingenuity_34 · 2024-03-04T14:35:32+00:00

Is your husband not active with childcare?

theodorelogan0735 · 2024-03-05T02:52:06+00:00

I would talk to your husband and tell him that you want to keep a great home for him, but you are struggling and exhausted, and don't have any time for yourself to rest and relax. Ask him to help you plan your day.

Either he will see how overwhelmed you are and help you find solutions, or he will help you notice better ways to arrange your schedule.

Source: my wife homeschools our kids and is always taking them to coops and park playdates etc.

LexiFromWestchester · 2024-03-04T11:32:30+00:00

I am lucky in that I have two good friends who are also SAHM's within a few miles of us and on Friday evenings the guys take the kids which allows us girls to go get our nails done, or a massage, or just de-compress without the kids. It's only three hours but it's something we all look forward to and feel rejuvenated for the weekend with hubs & the kids. It sounds like you're doing a great job, I would totally not obsess as much over the cooking aspects as that could be whatever energy you have left after the homeschooling. And if your husband is like mine the daily sexual attention you show him makes up for the quick dinners or take-out lol ❣️

Confused-Penguin7294 · 2024-03-04T22:33:34+00:00

can you affford a cleaner to do the menial tasks?

womanoftheapocalypse · 2024-03-04T00:43:07+00:00

If home making and homeschooling are work (and they are), when is your time off?

anothergoodbook · 2024-03-04T01:38:16+00:00

Hi! I am a homeschooling mom of 4 who also works (very) part time outside of the home.

Well… I’ve never really figured this out so I may not be the best person to ask….

First off, find some sort of routine. That may look different for different people. There is really strict (something like Managers of Their Homes might be beneficial *I do not endorse their religious views and someone might not want to purchase based on that). Or something a little looser but still structured (you’d want FlyLady for that).

Something without structure but guidance would be How to Keep Your Home Without Losing Your Mind.

I go through ups and downs and it drives both my husband and I crazy but I’ve learned to accept it’s who I am. I do have a few routines. I try to start a load of laundry every morning, have some tea and read or meditate. I’ve been working I. 10-15 minutes of something like yoga and a short walk with the dog.

Here’s what I’ve learned in the last few years of being in a similar situation. You aren’t perfect. You won’t be. If you are doing the best you know you can be doing then work on things a little at a time, but also don’t be crazy hard on yourself.

Most women do some of the things well. Sorry, it’s true. The homeschool mom that seems to have everything together? Nope. She doesn’t. She’s struggles with something whatever that thing is.

It’s caused massive strife in my marriage. And I spent years thinking I was worthless and a horrible wife who was not pleasing God. It isn’t true. I suck at something’s but I am also decent at others. And great at others. Just like every other human on earth.

Anyhow, off my soap box for now lol.

Some other ideas:

assign the kids chores (freedom mom has a great course on how to involve your children in chores)
pick like a months worth of meals and repeat them each month. If you are having trouble coming up with ideas then assign each day with a theme: “breakfast Mondays, taco Tuesdays, leftover Wednesday”, etc. Then just repeat each month. If that seems boring then pick one new dish to try a week or every couple weeks. Make extras and throw it in the freezer for the next week. Use your crock pot as often as possible and meal prep the night before
self care… we’ll, first things first. What energizes you, relaxes you, brings you joy. This might take a minute to figure out. It doesn’t have to be big. And it’s doesn’t have to be permanent. Now put yourself on your schedule. Whether it’s in the morning while the kids are eating (or before they wake), during a designated quiet time, or after they go to bed (or in a weekend and you say to husband - I am going out for a while, see you later). For a long time my happy place was the library. I could just walk around for 2 hours and be a different person when I walked out. For a while I was having fun with embroidery and then trying my hand at writing with a fountain pen. Just fit yourself in to the day because you are important. I also like to wear perfumes, make sure I’ve got lotion on, and get dressed daily (jeans and a tshirt, nothing fancy).

StunningSort3082 · 2024-03-04T01:12:10+00:00

What time do you wake up? About 6 months, I started waking up at 4AM to workout and it’s been great for me. Now, I am someone that does fine with 6-7 hours of sleep and we were very, very strict about sleep training so middle of the night wake-ups are rare.

What are you doing while your kids are at co-op and activities? To me that’s prime time for homemaking activities.

Marissa_Smiles · 2024-03-04T03:43:06+00:00

Im also a mama of 2 and currently pregnant so I understand the demand. Realistically it’s absolutely impossible to 100% keep up with the home, homeschooling/ child activities, husband and self care. Have a talk with your husband and advise him the demand is too much and ask him to support you. This support can be hiring help, meal prepping, lower expectations of the home condition, speaking with family members to assist, looking into alternative schooling options etc. I’m not trying to be harsh but your current situation isn’t sustainable and I don’t feel you are giving yourself enough care which is absolutely needed when taking care of others.

RedPillDad · 2024-03-04T05:06:27+00:00

Sounds like you're doing amazing with so much on your plate. With 5 kids, my wife and I just accepted some measure of chaos as normal. I prioritized my wife's well-being because she would give so much of herself to take care of the kids. She gradually learned to get past all the guilt. Every time a baby cried, she felt she was a bad mom. Every time the house was messy, she felt like a bad mom. Guilt can motivate but it drains your energy, nothing ever feels good enough. I'll tell you what I told her... you're an amazing mom and the most important thing is loving your family each day and you're doing that beautifully.

AutoModerator · 2024-03-04T00:02:14+00:00

Title: How to become a better homemaker?

Author rustichomemaker

Full text: Ladies, I’m (32F) drowning. I don’t understand how moms of multiple children that are homeschooling and able to keep up with everything without losing their minds are doing it.

I can’t get it together. I’m a stay at home homeschooling mom to 2 kids and I can’t get our homeschooling routine on track, I’m always behind on laundry, my house is almost always a mess, my cooking could definitely use improvement and I’m exhausted and overwhelmed. The only things I’m doing right is bringing my kids to their homeschooling co-op, Bible study and activities on time and making sure my husband and I have sex almost every night.

My husband wants more from me in the homemaking department and I’m doing my best and still falling SO short. What can I do to become a better homemaker? I feel like I’m all over the place and the overwhelm is just making it harder to stay organized.

Also how do you ladies fit in self care when you have little kids to take care with little to no alone time? Thank you in advance!

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porkiest · 2024-03-05T07:22:16+00:00

You could prolly like 🥵

inhaledpie4 · 2024-03-13T18:17:32+00:00

First off I want to say that homemaking is hard especially when you have your kids home 100% of the time. Don't sweat it. It is overwhelming but when your kids get old enough to help out things will get a lot better. Does your husband contribute? Does he help with the kids when he's home? Something that helps me is, when my husband isn't working, he often helps with the kids or he brings them over to their grandparent's house. It gets way easier to do chores in that period of time when the kids aren't undoing the tidying.

I just read that your kids aren't "school aged" yet. "Literacy" is the #1 thing at this age. You could honestly just get away with reading them minimum 1 book a day, but probably aim for 3. Maybe go through the alphabet with your oldest every once in a while. Maybe teach a sight word or two. Teach numbers 1-10. The rest they can learn through play without direct help from you.

ReesesAndPieces · 2024-03-20T23:54:08+00:00

I am a SAHM of 3. I don't homeschool and I STILL have no clue how to do it all. Laundry and dishes are never ending it seems. Short answer is no one has it all together and is perfect at it.

Long answer: For cooking: I suck at and hate cooking. I look up pinterest recipes and get inspo from SAHM Youtubers. I keep trying until I find one my husband likes and add that recipe to the rotation.

I made a chore schedule for all the mundane crap I hate like toilet cleaning,bathrooms, vacuuming. I do laundry,dishes, wipe counters, sweep daily either during nap time for my youngest or after the kids are in bed. Set a 30 min timer and just do what you can.

Self care is SO hard since we don't live near family or have many friends. I do my best. I found a local mom group that has child care. It's called MOPS ( they are rebranding to MomCo) You can google it and they have a group finder. I do monthly MNOs with them. I have a tiny friend group and we occasionally have get togethers for Holidays. I work out for 20 min during nap time. I read in bed at night. Journal for 10 min. Basically find 20 min to do something I enjoy. I have literally locked myself in the closet to read 🤣

I totally understand feeling overwhelmed and stressed. The truth is we feel we have to live up to this unrealistic expectation that because they earn the money, we have to keep the house emaculate, and our kids need to behave perfectly. It doesn't help having a partner saying you aren't doing enough.

Mine always says I'm doing good but also reminds me of things to help. Like if he needs some laundry done, he asks nicely, and it usually has been about a week 😅 He isn't a fan of my cooking but he doesn't force me to learn. We eat out for dinners a lot. We find what works for us and go with it. It would be helpful for him to give you ideas instead of criticism

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Title	How to become a better homemaker?
Author	rustichomemaker
Upvotes	36
Comments	55
Date	March 4, 2024 12:02 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1b5we0g/how_to_become_a_better_homemaker/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/how-to-become-a-better-homemaker.1246989 https://theredarchive.com/post/1246989

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