Hey RPW. I found y’all at around 24-25 and met my ex fiancée within a month of following the advice from the community. He was interested in me homeschooling our future children and staying at home, and was a good provider. We had a nice house together and from the outside appeared to having an amazing ideal life with a traditional lifestyle and values.

The past few years our relationship had been inexplicably rocky, he’d have angry outbursts and we were having constant communication failures, and he’d become verbally abuse and volatile. I found out a few weeks before the wedding that he was cheating on me. Multiple times before and after the engagement and a steady stream of disgusting messages back and forth and he attributes his poor behavior to how much he hated himself from his indiscretions and subconscious need to make me the bad guy so he’d feel less guilty. He blames his adderall use in minimizing his emotions and empathy and contributing to his hostility.

I’ve left the house, and am considering taking a summer job on around 2 hours from where we used to live.

I’m financially insecure, have some debt, and am turning 29 very shortly.

My future, the children I planned to have, seem dead to me. My ex is sure that without the lying cheating and adderall abuse that the future we want is still possible. He promises he’ll put my name on the deed of the house, give me a credit card, move if need be, (I’ve been wanting to leave our high cost of living very blue state) etc.

I feel my age bearing down on me and get constant terrible advice from old bitter feminists. Women don’t need men to have babies anymore, you have plenty of time you can get IVF when you’re 40, focus on your career etc. I know I don’t have plenty of time. If I don’t find someone by 33-35 I’m in trouble in terms of fertility. I don’t want to have another co dependent relationship but also have no career drive or desire to compete with men. I have no money or prospects, my youth is slipping away, and my dream of having babies before 30 with a strong traditional provider seems like a laughable joke. The only thing I have going is my looks, I’m in great shape, though I feel more and more unconfident particularly about my face. Sleeplessness and stress have taken a toll on the last thing of value I appear to offer. I’m considering leaving the country honestly. What do you girls think?