He’s slept with an ex fling multiple times over the course of 3 years (before and after the proposal, and buying the house) and has DM’d her as recently as 2 weeks before getting caught.

She had a mental breakdown when he rejected her advances a few days ago and both her mother and she herself emailed me with screenshots detailing everything.

He’s provided a beautiful home and has the same values I do with raising children, me staying home etc but beyond the cheating had become an angry volatile person who took out his guilt and shame on me and blamed me for our relationship problems, comparing my flaws to the image he was pretending to be, the hardworking perfect husband to be who never broke his word.

My parents urge me to be cautious in deciding to leave him, even though the extravagant once in a lifetime wedding they were going to shell out for is cancelled. They loved him like a son and when they confronted him he seemed truly deeply remorseful. They know everything including the psychological torture I endured. They think it was his harboring his secret and the adderall he’s been taking from years corrupting his nature and encourage me to give him another chance. I’m almost 29, in debt (he was going to pay off) with no real career aims, I have hobbies and talents and dreams but they’ve never involved a big career.

It’s a risk to go back to him, but it’s a risk to jump into the unknown. I wanted to have kids before 30, I feel depressed and lost, my dreams are falling apart. Has anyone else dealt with this?

There is love and goodness abs gentleness in him. I do wonder how much of his mistreatment was because of extenuating circumstances like the adderall and harboring lies or if he’s a cliche gaslighting narcissist. The advice from my family confuses me. I also have to tell wedding guests something… if I tell them the truth then I can’t return in the future. Either way it will cause a scandal. What the actual fuck do I do?