Avoid open relationships whenever possible

the_red_scimitar · 2014-10-09T17:58:12+00:00

If she suggests an open relationship, she's already fucking someone (or about to), doesn't think you can find a partner, and just wants your permission to turn you into beta bucks.

If she were really concerned about you finding pussy, she wouldn't mention it because women hate competition for worthwhile men.

Edit: The lesson? Women do not want open relationships with alpha males.

Edit 2: let me be clear. A woman, if given the choice will choose (in order of preference)

Having a monogamous alpha
Sharing an alpha
Having a monogamous beta
Being alone
Sharing a beta

CrazyHorseInvincible · 2014-10-09T18:50:55+00:00

Sexual fidelity is important for women. Not for men.

Why ? Because there's no such thing as "maternity fraud", and our genes evolved to account for that. Male sexual jealousy is inherent, female sexual jealousy is learned.

Sperm is cheap, eggs are expensive. A woman loses absolutely nothing, in the evolutionary sense, by being cheated on. And they gain a great deal by being with a man who can cheat on them if he wants.

This is why women can happily share a man if they're not shamed for it by other women, and he's attractive enough that they can't keep him all to themselves.

Make sure your women are faithful. But don't make the mistake of having only one.

joaquim56 · 2014-10-09T18:15:47+00:00

It's interesting how all these poly types tend to look like ogres.

InferiousX · 2014-10-09T23:46:36+00:00

I've been in what I'd basically call an open relationship for the last 10 months now.

I genuinely don't care if she's with anyone else and I have been with a couple other women in my time with her. The key differences is that our relationship started out this way and has stayed that way. Also, it wouldn't surprise me at all if I proposed becoming exclusive and she wanted to sign right up for that.

However, if your'e already in a relationship and the woman proposes going open.....ya that's typically red flag city

TRPtophan · 2014-10-09T21:24:27+00:00

Protips:

Alpha as fuark. Lift, etc.
You're allowed, she isn't. Because biology.
Tell her up-front she will not be the only one and you will be fucking other women. Don't ask. TELL. Dump her if she's not cool with it. Dread game on maximum.
UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES WHATSOEVER identify as open, non-monogamous or polyamorous. All such communities are catered to women and fuggos. Maxim 109. You need only say "I am a man" to enter the pussy palace.
Make clear to your dates that you are fucking other girls. Dread game in similar fashion as above.
Fuck like you're entitled by birthright.

Women like this DO exist. Take my word for it. Women secretly want guys that are popular with the laideez, most of them just don't admit it.

Pentdad · 2014-10-09T18:52:11+00:00

I did this and posted on ASKtrp about 6 months ago. I was a fat oaf (losing it) who used game and my fun personality to snap a hotty, but she was damaged. She told me she had cheated on all the guys she had been with.

Straight away I said 'let's do open!' and it got me points too- I didn't seem jealous, and initially it made the relationship stronger.

Then an ex- hotter, more experienced sexually with her, came back on the scene. Boom I said I was comfortable with it but felt terrible, and posted on ASKtrp... They told me I was a fool. No RP guy would hurt himself to keep a girl.

But by then it was damaged, and the relationship never recovered.

The poster is right. Unless you are a 10/10 male, you do not do open relationships. Bring someone else WITH YOU into the bedroom if that is your desire, but do not go down your own individual pathways.

AtDawnTheySleep · 2014-10-09T18:11:34+00:00

Any guy stupid enough to be in an open relationship deserves to be a beta cuck for the rest of his days.

"Oh hi honey, this is Chad Thundercock, I told you about him right?" Tammy managed to say amidst her rapid gasps for air. Will complained that she wasn't supposed to get a one night stand but was reminded that the relationship was open and he'd agreed to it.

This is how it'll always end, because it's far easier for women to find guys to fuck than for men to fuck women.

MikeRacer46 · 2014-10-09T18:05:13+00:00

If your girl is deepthroating another dude then it's not a relationship, open or not.

amerryunbirthday · 2014-10-09T23:14:24+00:00

Honestly I don't understand the difference between plate spinning and an open relationship. They look identical to my me.

nomdplume · 2014-10-09T23:01:56+00:00

Open Relationships: You're Doing It Wrong

Yeah, so this is pretty much textbook how NOT to do an "open" relationship.

I've seen this come up a couple of times, and it is so stupid that I can help but think that this is how guys imagine open relationships come to be.

First of all, almost no one who is "poly" went from full-monogamy to wide-open. Either they started their relationship as poly, or they worked up to wide-open taking baby steps over a significant period of time.

Second, only a couple of clueless idiots (or one conniving partner who is looking for an out) starts a no-holds-barred free for all. People who attempt an "open" relationship start with a shit ton of talking about it and some firm ground rules. And if, for some reason, they don't, you better believe the talking and rules happen after the first experience (again, unless one partner is just looking to escape the relationship).

Third, if any woman pulled that shit in an "open" relationship, no one in any of the open sexual communities would ever say that's okay. No one would tell the guy that he is strong and secure or whatever bullshit. Everyone who actually knows WTF is up would tell him to pull the plug immediately, and probably to ditch the bitch.

In other words, if you're giving an example of how to know you're doing it wrong, well done.

But that is not how "open" relationships work, and definitely not how they come to be.

AreYouAware_ · 2014-10-09T19:11:56+00:00

Here's the thing, if you are a high value man then it's virtually assumed that all your relationships will be "open" in a discreet manner. That is to say, she won't ask and you won't tell who else you're banging. She's also not going to risk losing you by banging someone else herself, because she knows she's not going to do any better. She won't necessarily be happy that you're getting side pussy, but she'll be gratified to know (or at least believe) that she is the one you keep closest.

The only women who truly "need" to have an explicitly open "poly" relationship are low value women who are desperate for validation, and who want to feel like the center of attention from multiple males. The men who go along with this are themselves low value and desperate for whatever they can find. These women are compensating for their lack of access to quality with quantity. The men are compensating for their low value by trying to keep all doors open, but neglecting that their already low value is diminished by expressing such an outcast lifestyle publicly.

AFPJ · 2014-10-09T18:30:36+00:00

Open relationships are often a common fantasy among guys.

Yeah but so is being loved for who you are by a loyal woman, nothing new here.

Open relationships are good if they work for you. I just like to call it not agreeing to be exclusive.

_Shakespeares_Sister · 2014-10-09T22:27:02+00:00

In my experience, if a woman says she doesn't care if you fuck other girls, she has an ulterior motive. They usually fall into a few predictable categories:

She wants to have a kid and she doesn't care who the daddy is. She'll fuck you until she gets pregnant, and then you're on the hook for 18 years
She wants a boyfriend or husband badly, and she's been striking out. So she'll put up with your shit in exchange
She simply doesn't like sex, and she's more than happy if you're getting it somewhere else

Me and my husband have been doing this a loooooong time, and we have lots of friends who are poly, and the women generally fall into one or all of those categories.

Keep in mind though, that these relationships can last for decades. For instance, there are plenty of women who will tolerate their husband fucking around because they don't like sex themselves. "Don't Ask / Don't Tell" is alive and well.

2014-10-09T20:27:37+00:00

stop calling girls with tittles. ffs, she does'nt NEED to be a girlfriend. That is a feminine way of thinking. She's just a girl you're seeing. That's it. You may have a main one, and that is fine.

You might fuck her, you might date her you might do the fuck you want with her, but she's a girl you're seeing, don't gives tittles to them, and everything is fine.

SidechainZ · 2014-10-09T23:30:03+00:00

May be a newbie question, but what is the difference between spinning plates and having open relationships?

If they are practically the same thing, why are we, TRP, so high on spinning plates but will not have an open relationship?

Claude_Reborn · 2014-10-10T00:04:23+00:00

I am in an open relationship but I am the exception, in that my wife is pretty much asexual.

I get laid a lot with my plates, but always come home to my wife.

If the girl is pushing for a OR, dump her to plate status and find a better woman.

I was involved with the poly community when my wife and I were coming to terms with her asexuality and it pretty much confirms redpill.

It was a small pool of alpha's with a large harem of women around them. The beta BF's got nothing (if they were straight) or got to be bottoms if they were bi.

Either way, it was a bad deal for them.

WillClickOnAnything · 2014-10-10T07:04:32+00:00

The words open and relationship are mutually exclusive in my mind. Anything else is perversion.

Azothlike · 2014-10-10T20:57:13+00:00

Men are the gatekeepers of commitment. Women are the gatekeepers of sex. This simple statement explains why an "open relationship" is a bad thing for average guys.

The standard definition of an open relationship is "an emotionally monogamous relationship where you are allowed to be sexual with other people." This differs from a "polyamorous" relationship, which is not emotionally monogamous.

In an open relationship, you are prohibited from offering what women want most from the average man(commitment, or the potential for future commitment). Meanwhile, your girlfriend is allowed to offer what most men want most(sex).

What this means, is that your average man probably finds women in open relationships MORE attractive, because she offers sex without emotional commitment, and your average woman finds a man in an open relationship LESS attractive, because he wants sex but may not be able to give commitment.

In essence, you're allowing both parties to go back on the market, but for your average man, she's the only one with any currency.

abcd_z · 2014-10-10T00:00:37+00:00

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the_red_scimitar · 2014-10-10T17:52:41+00:00

Bit of a rant. I'm a successful, ethically open (i.e. non-monogamous and very upfront about that.)

I see very often blanket and incorrect statements made about open relationships, because almost nobody who isn't serious about a non-monogamous lifestyle actually studies what it is. Most of you have never actually experienced a real open relationship (as opposed to what I call poly-fuckery), and wrapping your understandings of monogamous relationships around a non-monogamous one is almost never, ever going to "work".

Part of it is, most of you (and I have enough experience dealing with wanna-be non-monogamists to know) have never defined what "works" means, in this context, beyond meeting somebody cool for sex. If all you want is FWBs, and are willing to deal with the probable short duration of relationships constituted solely on that, then fine - that's what you'll get. Hey, presuming the fact of it is upfront, and everybody understands and consents (and can legally consent), it's totally cool.

Frankly, most people (men AND women) can't hack the honesty it takes to have a winning open relationship. Most don't even know how such relationships are structured. But they just dive headlong in, drown in the deep end, and then blame the pool for being so deep. And then there's the "brutal honesty" type who basically use "honesty" as a passive-aggressive weapon. So, since generally people use the name "open relationship" to justify cheating, while rubbing it in a reluctant partner's face in the name of "honesty", of course it gets a bad name.

Plot twist: that isn't an open relationship.

Info: Look up the word "compersion". Then really ask yourself if you can both be compersive AND hold frame. A good alpha non-monogamist can, but often compersion is misappropriated doormat-ism. That is, the unwilling partner in opening up the relationship just goes into victim mode and sort of tolerates things. That also is not an open relationship (at least not functionally).

Please then, just call it "poly-fuckery", or "tolerated cheating", or even some form of cuckoldry. But mostly, just realize that you don't know what it is, that what "everybody says" about it is from a uniformly ignorant position. It's a social prejudice, and like most, requires a willingness to step outside one's safe little echo chamber and actually look at the point of views of the group being maligned.

MikeRacer46 · 2014-10-09T20:34:46+00:00

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Jessie_James · 2014-10-10T13:52:41+00:00

What about a woman who wants to bring home other women for both of you?

NikolaTeslaMGTOW · 2014-10-10T20:32:38+00:00

Open relationships are fine, as long as they are only open for you.

The very fact that you would share a woman means you are a beta faggot, and by share I mean give money/time for sex to a woman who isn't exclusive to you, I don't mean fucking other guys wives/girlfriends.

Its basically a massive shit test laced with hypergamy, either you are the faggot who will let her ride all the dicks she wants or the man who will leave her for even mentioning it.

Like if she mentions it, you may have already fucked up so bad you are better off leaving her right then. It doesn't necessarily mean she thinks you are a faggot, it could just be a shit test, but more likely you have been fucking up and this the A bomb level shit test of all shit tests.

Wolfwoodd · 2014-10-09T19:18:49+00:00

Meh.. I'm in an open marriage and I absolutely love it. Our relationship has been open since the first date, 4 years ago. Different strokes for different folks, I suppose.

Disaster532385 · 2014-10-09T19:56:38+00:00

Isn't the here advocated spinning plates a form of open relationships too or are all the plates just sleeping with you?

the_red_scimitar · 2014-10-10T17:30:52+00:00

See, all this just shows that most people don't know what an open relationship is. As in your example, because it was used as a way to just fuck whomever, it quickly devolves the relationship.

As an ethically open guy, I can tell you of couples who have been open their entire marriage (going on 13 years) and that marriage is strong. But it isn't constituted at all as a free-for-all.

Anybody anticipating being non-monogamous and doing it at all ethically must read the book Opening Up - a cold look at the many ways this sort of relationship can be put together, how people fuck it up, how people deal with it (or don't). The relationship statistics near the beginning of the book alone are worth the read.

I personally have an open relationship going on 2 years, with a woman who dates others, as do I. We have a very close relationship, with no signs of that changing. I've met a number of her other partners, as she has mine (socially). It's just not a problem.

__ROOSTER__ · 2014-10-09T19:55:48+00:00

There are lots of versions of "open", alphas don't let their women fuck other men IMO.

On the other hand most women will accept their alpha fucking other women.

It's not hard for a squared away man to run a soft or hard harem and to do it for the long term.

If your woman want to fuck other guys you're doing it wrong and you should be working on tingles and laying pipe like the world has never seen before. You should be delving into fantasies and accessing her most hidden desires in a way that no other guy could do. Like a Pimp you should know everything about her since the moment she was born and you should use all of that to bind her to you like no one else could.

Isaiah4verse1 · 2014-10-09T19:59:37+00:00

Open relationship are bs. One person is bound to develop feelings.

2014-10-09T18:27:35+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	Avoid open relationships whenever possible
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	82
Comments	139
Date	October 9, 2014 5:54 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/2is14r/avoid_open_relationships_whenever_possible/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/avoid-open-relationships-whenever-possible.22659 https://theredarchive.com/post/22659

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